All are welcome on RfM. Just curious though, what draws never-mo's here?
lenina Mar. 2014
Are you avid anti-mormons who find satisfaction in assisting ex-mo's along the path?
Are you spouses/loved ones of TBMs [Mormons]?
Other?
No Mo Lurker
Re: All are welcome on RfM. Just curious though, what draws never-mo's here?
I have no friends or family that are TBMs. In fact, I didn't know much about the religion until I had a relative move to Salt Lake City and I had an employee start working for me who was in the process of leaving the church. Both told me some really interesting stories and that got me hooked.
I stumbled across here while surfing the net one day and got hooked. Now I'm addicted. I lurked for a long time, but then I started posting. I think I did because I wanted to be able to give a non-Mormon perspective on things.
The stories people post here are fascinating. Some of them are so funny that I have to try not to laugh out loud. Others break my heart. The honesty of them is breathtaking.
At first, when I read your question about being anti-Mormon, I was going to automatically say that I am not anti-Mormon, but after reading some of the stories of the emotional hurt and damage that was done to the people here because of the church, I realized that I am probably anti-Mormon. And any church that spends billions on a mall, instead of spending it helping others is definitely a church I am against.
sunnynomo
Re: All are welcome on RfM. Just curious though, what draws never-mo's here?
My husband's maternal family is all quite TBM. Bishops, Stake Presidents, impressive pioneer roots, the works. My mother in law left the church in the mid-sixties (a really amazing story for another post), so, DH is nevermo, like me. His family has been really amazing. We NEVER felt less-than, we were welcomed and loved.
We bought a house in Gilbert, AZ, BECAUSE of the mormons. Our experience was all good - they were good people that were doing the best to serve God as they had been taught. Our neighbors all fit the bill we were looking for. We never felt like outsiders, we were accepted, it was great. (0ur kids were 9 & 5 when we moved in).
Then it happened.
The mormons (ones I did not know) started in on my at the time 12-year-old daughter. It progressed to her getting indoctorinated behind my back - I had no clue. To look back and realize how shockingly stupid and naive I was chills my blood. Missionaries, the whole bit. It culminated in her being held, against my will, in a prominent mormon's home while I demanded her release (this is kidnapping).
I got her out, but I needed ammunition. Here I found Don Bagley, Anagrammy, and Dogzilla, among many others. She is safe, but I am watchful.
I haven't ever really posted an "exit story" about the whole sordid affair because I didn't exit - I kind of crashed into the whole reality of it.
I stay because I learn something here every day. I have so many questions - sometimes I think I should start a weekly post "Stupid Nevermo questions". I also stay because I am wary - I want to know what is going on before I get blindsided again. Finally, I stay because I have come to care about so many here, and so many of my friends and family that are mormon. It is an incredible view into a culture that I am right in the middle of, yet knew so, so little about.
I also hope that I can give another perspective. Because mormons are so insular, even those that leave don't have the life-outside experience. I hope that on occasion I can provide a nugget of information that someone may not have that will help them to make sense of something that seems senseless.
blueorchid
Re: All are welcome on RfM. Just curious though, what draws never-mo's here?
Just want to say I love the never-mo presence here. It's like a seasoning. It's great to have opinions coming from every different direction.
From what I've seen there are a lot of different reasons to come, but I have to admit that I find the entertainment factor very high here.
Soft Machine
Re: All are welcome on RfM. Just curious though, what draws never-mo's here?
I started out as an atheist with an interest in religions because I wanted to understand why people remain in them. I've never known any Mormons (they're very rare in France).
I'm still an atheist ;-) but I stayed because, quite frankly, the people on this board are such a fine set of people with such interesting conversation that it has become one of my "homes" on the web.
And of course the mindf*ck that is Mormonism continues to amaze me every day.
Love and thanks to you all :-)
Tom in Paris
lostinutah
Re: All are welcome on RfM. Just curious though, what draws never-mo's here?
I grew up Fundie, which has a lot in common with Mosim. My cousin married an ex-Mo, but he struggles with her brainwashing as she can't let go of many things and it affects him, and thereby me, as we're close.
I also have an aunt who married into TSCC though she never converted, but she had 5 kids, all partially raised in TSCC but now all out. I also grew up in NW Colorado, which has a heavy Mo presence and now live in Utah.
This board is fascinating. Many of the things you deal with here are very similar to what I dealt with growing up and still deal with in the people around me. Without this board, I would still be clueless about many many things. It's been a fascinating resource and also makes me really admire all of you who had the courage to get out and pay the heavy prices you did.
Lurker From Beyond
Re: All are welcome on RfM. Just curious though, what draws never-mo's here?
I too grew up in a Fundamentalist environment. I shook that off and am now a hopeful agnostic, but fundamentalism and cults fascinate me.
RoomWithAView
Re: All are welcome on RfM. Just curious though, what draws never-mo's here?
I was going to post to Tupperwhere’s thread a few days ago, but it was already closed. I’m a Nevermo & grew up in SLC in the 70s/80s. I started lurking when I dropped cable a couple of years ago and am captivated by the stories and information on this site.
I grew up in SLC as a member of what my friends told me was the Great and Abominable Church. In 6th grade, I was told that 12-yr old boys with the LDS priesthood had more power in their pinkies than the Pope. A high school field trip to DC included going to the LDS temple visitor’s center. At USU in the 80s, I was The Girl Marked by an Asterisk on the ward list for my dorm, the only non-LDS student out of 72. For a college class, one of my LDS roommates chose to sit on the bus next to a black student and write an essay about this experience. In my jobs, I saw first-hand the discrimination against non-Mormons. Salt Lake…not, “This is the Place,” but “What is this Place?
After college, I escaped Utah and landed in SoCal among typical people. I didn’t totally escape the Mormons. Through the trees, I have a view of the golden Moroni.
Even after all these years away from the Saints, I haven’t been able to shake off my dislike of Mormonism. When one of my kids was in elem school, I laughed at his answer to the state capital test question, “What is the capital of Utah?” His answer, as taught by mom, was “Hell.”
My kids know they can be anything—gay, Baptist, transgender, or Elem Education majors, and if they were to use drugs, smoke, drink, fail classes, or get a girl pregnant, that’s life. I’ll always support them, and we can deal with anything. The one thing I ask of them is that they don’t become Mormon or marry a Mormon. Ok, I don’t really care for face piercings or motorcycles, but I guess I could handle those, too.
Some of my friends have left the LDS church but others remain. My best friend is ignorant of LDS history—she doesn’t believe JS had multiple wives, doesn’t know about the BOA translations problems, etc. Now and then, I pass along info from this site to my Mormon friends. I love reading the Exit Stories and have hope for my friends who are still held captive by the LDS church.
sunnynomo
Re: All are welcome on RfM. Just curious though, what draws never-mo's here?
Also a member of the Whore of Babylon [catholic church], here. Sometimes, I feel like some sort of circus side-show. Mormons have been fascinated, horrified, and disgusted, all at the same time. But they still keep asking questions.
anagrammy
Re: All are welcome on RfM. Just curious though, what draws never-mo's here?
Nevermo's are here for the same reason that people are curious about the lives of transgender persons, or "Little People" or "Toddlers and Tiaras," or people whose lives revolve around cleaning out thetans (scientology).
In turn, we benefit from the advice of those not tainted by singing "I hope they call me on a mission" from the time they were three years old. Sane, normal people with good values who acquired them even though not threatened by being separated from those they love.
It is entertaining and enlightening to get a peek into the lives of people dealing with everyday problems from a completely other perspective than we have.
Mormonism is one of two recognized American subcultures (only two?)--the Amish and the Mormons. That means the lifestyle has deviated enough from regular America to meet a stringent criteria established by cultural anthropologists.
Anagrammy
I'm not a mormon
Re: All are welcome on RfM. Just curious though, what draws never-mo's here?
I am fascinated by post 1820's religions. That and I took the talks when I was younger and found the religion to be both weird and repressive and horrifying (this was well before the internet age). After the lessons, I knew I needed to learn more from people who woudln't try to convert me. It just took the internet to allow that to happen.
flo, the nevermo
Re: All are welcome on RfM. Just curious though, what draws never-mo's here?
I started reading here because I was researching the tactics of destructive organizations. I was surprised when I found Mormonism to be among them (had no clue!) and then touched by what I read here. As I've mentioned before, I visit for the dose of awesome. :)
I, too, like to express the nevermo perspective when I think it might offer a breath of fresh air for folks who could use it.
NeverMo in CA
Re: All are welcome on RfM. Just curious though, what draws never-mo's here?
I was raised in the Great and Abominable church too...I have had an interest in religion in general my entire life, probably inherited from my mom. She is a devout Catholic but has always been interested in other faiths. (She even checked out Anton LaVey's The Satanist's Bible from the public library when I was a kid and left it lying around where I could read it, so obviously she is pretty open-minded. Incidentally, from the little I recall of it, the Satanist's Bible is both boring and silly, so I don't recommend it.) She read the free BOM we got on our family trip through Utah one year, the Koran, etc.
So, I always had at least a passing interest in Mormonism. Then, about four years ago, I joined a local parents' club, and I bonded very quickly with a TBM mom. One of the things we shared was a sarcastic sense of humor, and we would both joke about our respective religions/religious backgrounds.
However, some months later she sicced her never-Mo, atheist hubby on me at a club holiday party. It turned out she could enjoy laughing at jokes about Catholicism, pedophile priests, etc. but not joking remarks (which were pretty mild, frankly) about Mormonism. I was truly blind sided as well as quite hurt. It was very clear she and her husband had set me up to attend the party just so he could corner me about Mormonism.
I went home after the party and posted on RfM looking for answers. Specifically, I asked if a lot of Mormons thought that criticizing Mormonism was akin to racism against blacks. (This is what TBM friend's hubby had told me, among other things: "When you joke about a Mormon's faith, that's like making fun of a black person for being black." And no, her husband is not black.) To say the least, I received some interesting responses. I also started reading other threads, enjoyed the humor of posters like Raptor Jesus, and next thing you know, I was hooked.
Like some other never-Mos who've posted, I too have become somewhat anti-Mormon from visiting here, but frankly, it's almost impossible not to be so when I read so many heartbreaking stories of families shunning loved ones, people who can barely cover basic expenses feeling they have to pay tithing, etc., etc. However, I can also attest that reading RfM has made me feel sorry for TBMs. Truly. I pity missionaries I see now, knowing what so many of them go through and how brainwashed they are. I pity my lovely TBM neighbor who always seems on the edge of a nervous breakdown staying home with her young kids but who feels under pressure from her husband and his family to be "perfect," and who is always apologizing for nothing. I feel sorriest of all for my younger cousins who converted last year and who may be pressured to exclude their incredibly loving never-Mo families from their weddings. (Of course, I feel far sorrier for their parents and other close family.)
Anyway, thanks to all the ex-Mos here for teaching the rest of us about Mormonism.
onlinemoniker
Re: All are welcome on RfM. Just curious though, what draws never-mo's here?
Apparently my g-father and his second wife converted to Mormon. My mother used to make snide comments about how she'd seen their "magic underwear" on the clothesline. She hated her FIL. But they were dead before I was born so no direct contact.
It's a car wreck and everyone loves a good car wreck, right?
Plus, I'm fascinated by religion. My favorite subject. High school history teacher who teaches a religion class so I can't get enough of religion.
And of course, I wanted to be Marie with her happy, happy family when I was a little girl. She was so pretty...
Cheryl
My husband is a nevermo poster here in support of me . . .
and he is recovering from having to deal with Mormon stalking and my TBM family for many decades.
Agate
Re: All are welcome on RfM. Just curious though, what draws never-mo's here?
My husband was a jackmo when I married him. I decided at one point I would like to start going to church, so I started a two year study of where I wanted to land. My husband, though inactive, thought that I should at least look into Mormonism, so one day while looking around in Bereans Bookstore I ran across the Tanner's "Mormonism Shadow or Reality" . I eliminated Mormonism right off the bat, but my husband picked up the book and it all came apart for him as well. The rest of his family are TBMs, some in high places with the church and though most are very nice people, there is a sense that we are definitely not a part of the inner circle. Some are actually condescending and like to point out their superiority. They look at your cup of coffee and act like you are some heathen. I have zipped my mouth for the last 20 years so as not to get into a conflict and this website is what helps me.
excatholic
Re: All are welcome on RfM. Just curious though, what draws never-mo's here?
I'm fascinated by cults and high demand religions. I live near where JS fabricated the whole thing. But the Mos around here are few and far between.
I also worked with a couple of guys once who were Mormon. One was TBM, the other a convert who converted to marry a woman he loved, but privately thought it was nonsense. The TBM fascinated me--he was a scientist (albeit not a great one), and watching the mental gymnastics was interesting.
I was raised Catholic, and find that some of the issues are pretty similar.
StillAnon
Re: All are welcome on RfM. Just curious though, what draws never-mo's here?
I've lived in a lot of places. Transferred here from CA, grew up in Houston. I always had great neighbors in great neighborhoods. Always got along, had BBQ's block parties, etc. Then I move to Sandy. Feels like a different country. Especially after the ward figured out we had NO interest in joining their church. I still was interested in being friends & neighbors. It doesn't work that way in my neighborhood. I never met a stranger group of people. I found RFM in my search to understand mormons. Learned a lot. Thanks.
midwesternmom
Re: All are welcome on RfM. Just curious though, what draws never-mo's here?
I like learning about different religions. And what I like learning is the stuff missionaries would keep quiet about.
NeverMoinNY
Re: All are welcome on RfM. Just curious though, what draws never-mo's here?
I am just fascinated by religion in general. Mormonism is my current interest. It is really fascinating from an outsiders position. I have LDS friends, and used to live next door to an LDS church in a college town...but oddly enough only ever got JW's knocking on our door. Now I live near the Whitmer farm and within driving distance of Palmyra and plan on visiting the farm (for historical reasons) when the weather heats up. My mom (raised in a strict Catholic family) went to the Hill Cumorah pageant on a family trip when she was a teen and said we should check it out, it was really fun. I also listen to Mormon Expression and Infants on Thrones. I used to live near the headquarters of Scientology, and was really into learning about that there, so this has really just taken its place.
Jersey Girl
Re: All are welcome on RfM. Just curious though, what draws never-mo's here?
We lived in Salt Lake City for a year in the 70s. Being from NJ I had never met a Mormon and knew nothing about them. I am very curious and interested in religions, but the more I learned the weirder it got. I read "No Man Knows My History" at that time. We left Utah and came back east because we did want to raise our nevermo kids in the Mormon Kingdom, even though the mountains were beautiful.An aquaintance here had a son who converted from Catholic to Mormon, and they could not attend his wedding which I thought was awful.My brother lives in Mesa Az and worked with a lot of Mormons he could not stand.
Like many others I have come to respect and like many of the exmos here and am fascinated by their stories, humour, and courage.
nateland
Re: All are welcome on RfM. Just curious though, what draws never-mo's here?
I am a nevermo and I grew up in the Morridor. I hope that one day I can rescue my friends from this cult. Until then I stay updated so I can still speak the lingo and keep up with the ongoings of the Morg.
serena
Asked and answered many times before, but I'll answer again
Like StillAnon, I found RFM in my quest to understand Mormons and Mormonism. I was not getting truthful answers from Mormons and Mormon sites, and voila, RFM. I came, I saw, I was fascinated and charmed, I stayed off and on. I also had always had concerns with the myriad of problems with the Christian dogma, and this site helped me turn the spotlight onto my own flogging (hah, what a Freudian slip, I meant flagging!) faith, which eventually fell completely apart. It would be easier I sometimes think if I was still christian, although the fundamentalist/creationist kinds have always made me twitch, but you can't unring a bell.
Up here in N. Idaho I'm still a fish out of water, and I find it refreshing to read this site.
knotheadusc
Re: All are welcome on RfM. Just curious though, what draws never-mo's here?
My husband converted to Mormonism with his ex wife and was still in the church when we met. He eventually resigned, but his two daughters became extremely indoctrinated Morgbots. They haven't spoken to him since 2004, except for the letters they sent in 2006, disowning him. I initially found this board in 2002 hoping to understand why my husband had such a strong reaction when I inadvertently took the first discussions with mishies who showed up at our home one day.
I stay because they stories are fascinating and there are some great people here. My husband resigned in 2006 and we lead a very hedonistic life. ;-)
Talon Avex
Re: All are welcome on RfM. Just curious though, what draws never-mo's here?
Like some of the others have noted, I came here trying to understand the religion of my now ex-gf, who was born and raised in Utah. She was inactive and when I came along her TBM family sucked her back into the Morg.
This place helped me recover from a broken heart. For that, I am very grateful to the people here.
nevermo1
Re: All are welcome on RfM. Just curious though, what draws never-mo's here?
Absolutely no affiliation to Mormonism whatsoever but find the cult so intriguing Especially from an insiders perspective!
That's why I come here all the time.
I love hearing how people joined,how they left and all the funny/strange experiences in between!
Edit-I do not know any Mormons whatsoever so that hasn't anything to do with why I come here!
SoCalNevermo
Re: All are welcome on RfM. Just curious though, what draws never-mo's here?
When I moved back to So. California after living in Utah for 11 years, I often got questions from people expecting me to be an expert on MO'ism. I tried to learn more and ran across this site and find it fascinating.
Nightingale
I love threads like this
Those who respond are so insightful, interesting, informative and warm-hearted. It's great to have all perspectives. As some have commented above, it can be very helpful to see what "normal" is when you've been in an isolated group, especially growing up. Also, maybe it's hard to see the falsity of a particular point in your own faith but easy to see it in another, which then casts a shadow over your own. It can all be very instructive.
It's always good to hear how this board has helped people, and so many of them, from all different aspects of the Mormon Church and its influence.
"Recovery from Mormonism - www.exmormon.org"