Did any of you ever stress out getting ready on a Sunday morning?

oncewasblind Sep 2013

I mean like in my family when we were kids my dad would get himself ready for church then goes and sits down reading his scriptures or doing some paperwork for his calling then my mother would start yelling at him to help get the kid's ready. I mean sunday mornings at my house when we were kids was chaotic.

There'd be someone looking for a shoe or my sisters fighting over the hair brush. How was your household on a Sunday morning back in your TBM days?


ck
Re: Did any of you ever stress out getting ready on a Sunday morning?
Oh, for the love, I'm so glad to not be trying to get my 4 young kids ready for church anymore. It was hell on earth.

queenb
Re: Did any of you ever stress out getting ready on a Sunday morning?
stressful, which is part of the reason we became inactive after we had our second child. the other part being that it was insanely difficult to make it through church once you actually make it there.


madalice
Re: Did any of you ever stress out getting ready on a Sunday morning?
My father would get himself ready. He would then go sit in the car and honk the horn at my mother who was getting a half dozen+ kids ready. I'm surprised he's still living. She was such a good door mat.

NotSoSure
Re: Did any of you ever stress out getting ready on a Sunday morning?
Oh, my husband wouldn't sit in the car honking. No, he was already at church in meetings. So I'd be getting 5 kids together. Of course, we HAD to be on time, since we were the Bishop's family. Then, no help corralling 5 kids during church. Yes, what a lovely time that was. (Gag)


releve
Re: Did any of you ever stress out getting ready on a Sunday morning?
My husband hated for us to be late for church, but with two teenage girls and only one bathroom, getting ready for 9:00 A.M. church was difficult. One Sunday my husband started backing the car out of the driveway with my oldest daughter only half in the car. She was wearing heels for the first time, had one leg in the car and was hopping with the other leg trying to pull herself the rest of the way into the car.
We entered the back of the church and heard the congregation singing the opening hymn. My husband said, "Go back to the car, I will not go in to the meeting late". We went home and he didn't speak to us the rest of the day. The next week when I woke up my oldest for church she announced that she was never going to church with her father again, and until she was married and had her first child blessed she didn't. Her relationship with her father is still frosty.


Mormon Observer
Re: Did any of you ever stress out getting ready on a Sunday morning?
When I had three under four years old I packed the night before.

On days that things were not moving well I decided I did NOT like being the screaming Mommy going to church because she loves loves loves church.
It wasn't worth it if I was going to kill the spirit first.
So I chilled. I was already on the underbelly of the cliques of the ward, so it didn't matter.

Besides, I spent eighteen months with each child out in the hall and foyer because we didn't have a Mothers room and my children were not old enough for nursery!

I think it was my third I kept a good novel to read in the car so I could go "feed the baby" and read! Good times.

Then I found out the other Mothers who got to church on time had been screaming, hitting, and pulling hair out of their children to get them to the chapel on time!
Wow! I didn't want to do that to my children!

They also risked heart damage of their children by drugging them with a anti histimine to make them drowsy.

And those screamy Mothers were snubbing me and making sure I knew they were superior Mothers to me! They were the best Mothers in Zion because they were ALWAYS to church on time!

I was late sometimes.

My husband helping???? HAH!
On the weekends when he was home, he worked two or more weekends a month....he would sometimes decide he wanted a "bath" at 8:30 when church started at 9! He didn't care if he was late and "It's okay, wife, you can take the kids, I'll catch up, I can drive the car I go to work in."

Part of what I wanted was him with me at church... he could help...with the little wigglers.

So I could stay and wait and miss sacrament meeting and the sacrament, or I could go, be on time, sit alone and have hell on earth like I'd had the weekend before when he had worked the weekend and not come home.

My kids remember us being late and living in the halls, but not too many Sundays with me turning into Monster Momma....thank God...I did so many other things they're still mad at me about....


Joy
Re: Did any of you ever stress out getting ready on a Sunday morning?
Um, yeah!

I never understood how my children could always be ready for school on time, but never church. It was because they liked school, and hated church.

I'm sure babies and toddlers and kids of all ages pick up on a parent's stress. I had to play the organ, and sometimes accompany performers on the piano, too, every sacrament meeting. I had performance anxiety--not really--it was the stress caused by perfectionism. Also, there was such a negative vibe in the Mormon church, when my husband was inactive, and years later, when I was divorced. Performances outside of church were often enjoyable, because people were having a good, easy time. Also, I loved the non-Mormon music I was playing.

It is safe to say, that nothing works. I gave everyone baths the night before, laid out their clothes, and my own as well, had breakfast ready, diapers and toys in the diaper bag, the cheerio's and bottle ready, my music and SS lesson, the kids talks (or whatever) the alarm set for 2-3 hours before meeting. It didn't matter. We are human beings! Sometimes I would have morning sickness, or one of the kids would be sick, or the two-year-old would get mud all over his clothes, or the oldest would start crying in protest, that he wanted to stay home. Clearly--CLEARLY--my children were unhappy on Sunday morning! But I thought I was a bad mother who couldn't discipline her children properly.

Returning home from meetings, by the time I would get the baby out of her car seat, there would be a pile of Sunday clothes in the front hall. The kids didn't even wait until they got to their rooms to take them off. My daughter came over tonight, after a Mormon baby shower, and as she was saying, "Hello," she was taking off her panty hose and heels and putting them into her purse. Church and church clothes and anything else church-connected stresses us out.


ozpoof
Re: Did any of you ever stress out getting ready on a Sunday morning?
Us kids hated going. Sunday morning was hell, then dad used to sit in Sacrament like his sh!t didn't stink.
oncewasblind
Re: Did any of you ever stress out getting ready on a Sunday morning?
It truly is a wonderful feeling now that Im sn adult and I dont have to stress out before church starts. Now I can wake up on my own time read the paper or go online and just relax and enjoy life. Life is truly wonderful without TSCC and I bear my testimonkey to it.
presleynfactsrock
Re: Did any of you ever stress out getting ready on a Sunday morning?
Stress does not do an adequate job of describing what it feels like to attempt to pull clothes on screaming chillin, remember to potty and diaper them for the last time before heading out the door to church, shove enuf food in their little mouths to keep them quiet (boy, was I dumb, as I never thought of drugging 'em up to make them drowsy), and then grabbing enuf books, toys and cheerios to MAYBE entertain them.

My husband even helped and I was still close to having them lock me up. What a trip.....a trip I'm glad I am home from with my feet up on a footstool, a drink nearby, and a book in my hand, plus no boring high priest dribble saying do this and do that drifting in and out of my ears.

Lovin' it.

Amen and Amen


donbagley
Re: Did any of you ever stress out getting ready on a Sunday morning?
Everyone in my family scrabbled and elbowed at one other like sharks in a blood frenzy. No one wanted to go to the awful building that reeked of halitosis and stale Cheerios. We feigned lost socks and dirty underwear--any excuse for not attending. Threats were bellowed and bottoms were slapped. It was easily the worst morning of the week. Often my ass cheeks hurt well before hitting the chapel bench.


fluhist
Re: Did any of you ever stress out getting ready on a Sunday morning?
I,ve got to admit I got it pretty down pat usually. I had all the kids clothes, shoes, socks underwear, and the girls hair ties TOTALLY ready on Saturday night along with all I needed to, to stop any "Mum I can,t find...." It took years, but I got there. But I am SURE my kids HATED church after about 6 years old. They weren;t game to say so (which is the saddest part) but they all got the kind of resigned look.

cludgie
Re: Did any of you ever stress out getting ready on a Sunday morning?
Like, every Sunday. Especially when we had little twins.


momjeans
Re: Did any of you ever stress out getting ready on a Sunday morning?
+1!
icedtea
Re: Did any of you ever stress out getting ready on a Sunday morning?
ck wrote:

Yes, this!

Ex-DH and I had a flock of small children very close in age. I had to do ALL the getting-ready while he often played sick and stayed home to watch football in his sweats. Even when he attended, he didn't help with the kids. All of our boys had ADHD (like all the males in DH's family), so I spent the entire block dealing with them and/or nursing a fussy baby.

DH and I divorced when the youngest was still a baby, so I got to drag the whole crew to church by myself. I usually started doing laundry and ironing on Friday just so we could be ready. Sometimes the kids would hide their shoes, ties, socks, belts, etc. to try to get out of going because they hated church. The boys would often sneak out (by going down the fire escape or out the men's bathroom window) to go play in the creek, roam the neighborhood barefoot, and get into every kind of trouble imaginable.

The ward members judged me as being the slacker mom whose kids were out of control. Their "help" consisted of asking the boys (with a simpering smile) what Jesus would want them to do and then giving me dirty looks as they trotted off to sit in peace and quiet with their own families (many of whom I suspect were highly medicated).

I rarely got to actually attend an entire hour of SS or RS. When I did, the hypocrisy and hostility made me sad and angry. I dreaded and hated Sundays, but kept forcing everyone to go because we were getting food help from TSCC.

Yes, though -- it was torture!


Mnemonic
Re: Did any of you ever stress out getting ready on a Sunday morning?
I was only stressed on the Sundays that I went to church and then it didn't matter when I had to be there. I finally realized that going to church was causing me a huge amount of stress, plus there were the pounding headaches I got from the second I entered the church until 3 hours after I got home. When I stopped going to church my Sunday stress and my headaches went away.
JoyAGE
Re: Did any of you ever stress out getting ready on a Sunday morning?
My dad always yelled. He was always grouchy. The household was crazy. We didn't go to blocks until I was about 9,so before that It was even worse. I have never been convinced that my Dad really wanted to go to church but went to keep the peace.

I take my kids to a different church now. We attend only when we want to. My kids can wear whatever they want (except their pajamas or swim suit). My kids actually like their kids program. We choose which service we want to attend. It's so much different than those horrid Mormon days!


axeldc
My grandma would push us the whole day
If church was anytime but early morning, she would constantly nudge us along.

If church were at 1 pm, she wouldn't let you start getting ready at 11:30. At 9 am: "Have you had your shower yet?"

You take a shower, then at 10 am, she'd say, "Have you gotten dressed yet?"

At 11 am, she'd say, "Have you got your shoes on yet?"

At no point could you just relax and read the paper. If you were not ready to go out the door, she would keep nagging you.


budweiserbaby
Re: Did any of you ever stress out getting ready on a Sunday morning?
I literally attempted suicide by overdose to get out of home teaching one Sunday. There were a lot of other things bothering me too, but that was among the things bothering me at the time.
cl2
Sundays were
hell all my life. The stress of Sundays is gone now, but it took years. My parents argued EVERY SUNDAY. My dad didn't attend often. My dad would attend priesthood meeting and my mom didn't attend SS, but my dad often didn't attend SM (back in the day before the 3 hour block). My dad would drive slowly up the street to drop us off at SS. We'd walk home. Then they'd argue all day about him watching football or anything they could think of. I think my mother hated Sundays and it was her day to let off steam. My dad was a farmer and a school teacher, so he was never home, so she had a reason.

I had twins first child. My ex was always in some "bishopric" as a clerk or an ex sec, so it was up to me to get them to church. It usually went okay. It was better when he wasn't home than when he was. BUT it was church--not getting there. Twins didn't work well--they had to take turns sitting on my lap. I always walked out with buttons undone and messed up hair. I spent a lot of time in the foyer--BUT I lived 2 blocks from the church. I learned quickly. If one of the kids or both were being bad, I'd walk home. I'd get the 'evil eye' from my ex as I got up and walked out . . . (that's probably the reason he is still gay--tongue in cheek).

What I hated is they always call young mother to primary. Yep--just what I wanted and needed after spending all week with my toddlers--someone else's kids to babysit.


CA girl
Re: Did any of you ever stress out getting ready on a Sunday morning?
That's what I was going to say - that the ironic part of this wasn't that CHURCH made Sundays stressful. It was that MORMONISM made Sundays stressful. Occasionally the kids and I will attend Catholic mass and we never have those problems that we faced on Sunday mornings as Mormons. First, we can decide when we want to go. Second, we can wear what we want and don't have to worry about looking perfect. Third, we are only going because we want to be there - which makes a huge difference in the attitudes of everyone getting ready. We are not forced to go, worried what people will think of how we dress and act and think, with services at a time convenient for the church. We don't have to sit through three hours of boredom nor are we compelled to fill a stressful calling we may or may not be suited for. We can just go to mass, listen to the priest (who is actually funny and makes good, inspiring points), hear some beautiful music and go home feeling uplifted rather than drained, stressed and judged.


cludgie
Re: Did any of you ever stress out getting ready on a Sunday morning?
Didn't Carol Lynn Pearson write a list of funny Mormon stories that includes something like: "Tell my husband that I want to sit out in the car honking while he gets the kids ready."
jpt
Re: Did any of you ever stress out getting ready on a Sunday morning?
I haven't been to church in years. Occasionally I'll visit TBM family for a weekend, (at least the ones that tolerate my exmo-ness). And yes, Sunday morning preps are always that way. Fighting, bickering, nagging... while transitioning from sleepy people to mormon pod people. It's creepy, they way they all dress so conformingly. Then, the kids look longingly at me as I remain behind to do whatever I want.

Saturdays AND Sundays are special days when you're not mormon.


NormaRae
Re: Did any of you ever stress out getting ready on a Sunday morning?
Did you say stress out or NOT stress out.

Gawd, back in the day (my elementary school years) they had penishood meeting before Sunday School. So Daddy runs off to his meeting and leaves Mommy to get 5 kids, including a baby, ready and he comes back just in tiime to pick us up. My poor mom, I never really thought about what that must have been like. I just remember the rush and panamonia of it all.

Then we go to SS, come home and have dinner, and had to take a nap because of course, Mom really needed a nap and Dad wasn't about to have to deal with kids while she got it. And he couldn't send us outside to play because it was Sunday. He'd sit in the easy chair with the newspaper and just come in and beat us if we made any noise.

The best days were when Daddy had to go somewhere else in the stake to be a High Council speaker. Some places in our stake he had to drive 2+ hours just to get there so he'd be gone on Sunday afternoons. As much as we loved it when he was gone, that meant my poor mom had to get everyone ready again to drive back to the church for Sacrament Meeting and take care of us all herself. Yes, I'm sure Sundays were pure joy for her.


Xyandro
Re: Did any of you ever stress out getting ready on a Sunday morning?
Wow... so many fathers falling short.

My ex-wife played the piano every other week, so on those weeks it was up to me to get the kids to church on time, and I helped on the other weeks. She needed a LOT more time to get ready than I did, so I had more time than she did.

I always took fatherhood more seriously than priesthood. (And now even more so.)

queenb
Re: Sundays were
agree about the callings thing. Why do they think that mothers with young children want to babysit more young children on sundays??? such a pet peeve of mine... those kind of callings were all the callings I ever got after I had kids... then I started turning them down.


queenb
Re: Did any of you ever stress out getting ready on a Sunday morning?
This thread is making really grateful for my husband who always helped out with the kids... and, even with his help.. church was a very stressful experience for both of us!


Lethbridge Reprobate
Re: Did any of you ever stress out getting ready on a Sunday morning?
Ya...mostly those Sunday mornings I had a hangover...those really sucked.

Ron Burr


ristetitexas
Re: Did any of you ever stress out getting ready on a Sunday morning?
"my testimonkey" I literally laughed out loud for quite some time. At work. People are staring.

cl2
My ex is notoriously late
so it was better when he was in callings. I am notoriously early--and liked to be in my place before everyone else came in.

Like I said above, being there was much more stressful than getting there.

The worst thing--putting on and wearing nylons. I am so happy I never have to wear those things any longer.

"Recovery from Mormonism - www.exmormon.org"