Eric,
Where to begin! I've been reading for a couple of weeks now. The first day I came across your page I was thrilled and now I keep coming back to read more and more. That first day, a lot of emotions were stirred up in me, shortly followed by peace in my heart a few days later. It is a good feeling to know that there are others out there. I now have even more strength and courage to stand up and NOT be counted among the Mormons. I've always felt different from the other members of my family - the reason is that I am a strong
person and can think for myself (something that does not please my parents or grandparents). Everyone who writes to you is strong because it takes SO MUCH strength to do what we have to do - it's the same as getting a divorce. It takes a lot out of you.
Anyways, I just want to thank you and everyone who writes in because you have made a difference in my life and I know you are making a difference in other's lives as well. I too am working on a story about my life and times with the Mormon church. This is all so therapeutic to get everything out of my system that has been building for quite some time. Once again, thank you very much and please do not publish my e-mail address or name. If someone wants to write to me, would you be kind enough to have them contact me through you as you are doing for others? Thanks, I will be in touch...
A comment on Mormonisms quest for the truth of the book of Mormon and their testimonies. I wish they would pray for a burning in the bosom that the Bible is true! I am distressed that so many testimonies put faith in Josph Smith's being a prophet right next to belief in Jesus Christ. If any of the [Mormon] prophets said anything significant that actually came about, I would like to hear of it! I would also like to know what it is that knowing about Jesus can do for any of these people if they are not putting their confidence in him to save them, rather than the works they can do (for him? the church? ???)
Thanks for letting me express myself. God Bless. (You do have my permission to print this if you care to-and do not delete my name or e-mail)
S_Crawford@Wow.com
Although people may disagree with your effort, your web page offers a special place for those that have experienced the "dark" side of Mormonism. Thank you for allowing the voices and cries to be heard.
Also, the Mormon missionaries seem to never carry the History of the Church with them, which has a section on page 408-9 (I think) where J. Smith is comparing himself to Jesus, and pretty much claiming to have more followers than and be better than Jesus Christ. It makes me sad that all my life I was so deceived in believing I was a Christian. Who could say things like that about God and claim to be his follower... Oh, yeah-- it must be because he's talking about a DIFFERENT Jesus. Anyway, that quote alone is enough for me to know that he was a true prophet all right-- of Satan! A Christian should be living to glorify God, not take it away from Him.
I would like to have my name taken off the Mormon records. I don't know how to start the process or who I should call or where to write. Do you or any of your writers have this info? My cousin had tried this and to this day does not know if they ever followed through with ALL of her numerous requests for having it done. Various bishops kept calling her, informing her that they would wait another 30 days for her to rethink her decision, as if a 7-year decision would just change back in a month. This went on and on...
I'd really appreciate this info if you have if; also it's fine with me if you print my letter in your column.
God bless you and your site!
I believe one of the greatest benefits you can bring about through your home page is to provide information on people who have left and still remain productive citizens and good people. People who are not "anti", people who have not jumped fence to mainstream Christianity only to continue take stabs at the LDS Church and labor in bitterness. The Church teaches that those who leave will be tormented for the rest of their lives, and that they have left under the influence of Satan or false religions. You have an opportunity to show Mormons that is okay to think. That life does continue beyond Mormonism, and most importantly, that is okay to be duped and mislead. People who seek Mormonism are seeking good. They have nothing to be ashamed of. I have no doubt more and more will be accessing your page.
Your Web site is a thing of beauty. It would be a tragedy if it (or something like it) were not continued. I commend you on the use of the Web to create a coalesence of ideas where none existed before. You appear to promote content of enlightenment, reason, and love more so than exaggeration, prejudice and hate which a site like this might easily fall into.
This site reeks of the fullness and glory inherent within the 1st Amendment to the U.S. Constitution.
Keep up the good work. LONG LIVE THE WEB!
Dear Eric,
[This first paragraph is from the letter responding to my request to post this person's letter.]
You may, of course, post my last e-mail (usadav19@pop3.nfi.com) on the condition that you don't leave out my e-mail address and that you provide a little disclaimer with my encouragement to others who have been positively influenced by your Web site, no matter how insignificantly, to send you a short note with some feedback. I'm sure it is discouraging when you aren't seeing the good you are doing first-hand. :)
I strongly suspect that you may be right about a sort of concerted effort on the part of many Mormons to try and turn off what is being said here. Having been a Mormon, I'm sure you understand how fragile their world is and what a threat you are to their peace of mind. I was a little bit shocked (not much) at how combative many of these people are. Perhaps it will be of comfort to you to realize that just by venturing onto a Web page called "Recovery From Mormonism" you can be safe in suspecting that quite a few of these people are looking for a fight. No doubt it is much easier to lash out at a name on a page then to face the true threat of some rather frightening doubts. Besides, I have found that Mormons are quick to unite around supposed "persecution" because it strengthens their sense of community.
I'm sure that you understand the Mormon point of view. They are taught to think with their hearts and not with their heads. Having a clear and rational mind is not a valued posession for a Mormon; having unquestioning faith is. This is why a Mormon just doesn't "get" your page. They don't recognize clear logic because they have been told to shut that part of themselves off. The result is an honestly bewildered sense of persecution. I have found in my own life that it is only when I have a balance of both heart and head that I come the closest to seeing pure truth. Many of these people will never know that joy. It is really quite sad.
I hope that you might find a bit of comfort in my words. Oh, by the way, I wrote to Mark W (you know: POST MY LETTER, I DARE YOU!). I must say that I was tempted to flame him by sending him a critique of his grammar, but I am glad that I chose not to. Instead, I very graciously pointed out who your Web page was set up for and not to underestimate the pain involved in questioning one's faith. You know, he wrote me back and he was actually a pretty decent guy. He even claimed to understand how difficult it must be. (Wow!) Apparently he was still upset with a friend of his who left the Church after having an affair. You've become a scapegoat for many angry people, but I promise you that you are getting through to some of them who might be questioning. Think of all the thousands of people who have browsed through the mountains of information and personal stories you've collected. Perhaps just knowing that they won't be alone can provide courage enough for some to really look at Mormonism without blinders on.
Take care. You're doing the right thing.
I just read "No Man Knows my History" I loved it!!!!! I can't believe I never heard of it before! Why isn't that book on everyone's bookshelf? Everyone who can read should have it.
My leaving Mormonism has been going well. I actually began leaving several years ago, but only in the last few months have I began really dealing with how I felt about it all. The amount of rage and fear that I've kept locked up around Mormonism amazes me.
I've been doing therapy with a woman who is and ex-Mormon. She's helping me enormously. She's got a Ph.D in clinical hypnotherapy and she's a certified master practitioner in Neuro Linguistic Programming. It also helps that she's been through it all herself. She's helping me "deprogram" or "unbrainwash" myself. She works with other ex-Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses, she seems to be quite good at it. Her name is Linda Schow and she's located in Sacramento California. She said I had permission to post her name on the internet. I don't know if it's OK to post her phone number but you could call her and ask. Anyway I thought this was the type of thing you would want to know about.
If there's anyone else who might be interrested in working with Linda I strongly recommend her.
It's good to know there are others. 3/15/96
The critical research you have done and the connections to resources you have provided have been immensely helpful to my own search for the truth. Thank you.
My mother read my contribution and said, "I don't see anything in here that should offend anyone. I never did think it was a good idea to ask a young man, in the prime of his sexuality, to stay away from girls for all that time."
There were a lot of thoughts we kept to ourselves back in those days...
I've downloaded the Ecuadorian Mission story to share with friends. Needless to say, I was very impressed by it. Since he leaves no address, you might, if the opportunity arises, let him know his efforts are appreciated.
I do not regret the time as a Mormon, it has made me stronger in many ways and I am still a strong Christian - just not a browbeaten, walk two steps behind, my word is law Mormon wife.
The stories have only confirmed my decision and strenthened me.
Anyway...I wanted to comment on the "tone" of your page. I think it's perfect. It is not hateful or bombastic....I truly feel that you will be able to reach more Mormons if you present rational post-mormons who are able to simply tell honest tales about extricating themselves from the haze of Mormonism.
The other pages do a poor job of "helping" Mormons. Their hate, anger, and sheer noise often have the reverse effect of "hardening" the Mormon's martyr complex. Your the "man"....you're really helping people. Thank you for presenting a web site with an appropriate "tone" and message.
BTW...I'm in the midst of writing my own "experience" story.
The reason this interests me is that I went out with a Mormon convert for about 9 months while I was an undergraduate. More likely than not, I would never have gotten involved with her had I known what the Mormon "Church" was all about.
Needless to say, I broke up with her because she had said that if I wasn't going to become a Mormon, there was no point in us going on. Since I did not want to be ignorant and wanted to learn more about her beliefs, I went to church with her every Sunday for over half a year. I listened to all 6 discussions. I even read some church literature.
Since I consider myself an intellectual, I closely examined everything I read and everything I was told. I came across many of the discrepancies that you mention in your site. I decided, finally, that I could not go on like this. I was tired of missionaries, bishops, etc. leaning on me constantly: "When are you going to get baptized?" When my answer became, "When hell freezes over!", I knew that was the end.
I perceive the LDS as both a racist and sexist institution, as well as a cult. I listened to everything they said, and it was the same stuff over and over and over and over. At church, they would talk about how we should all come to church. Well, we're here, so tell us something a little more constructive. I think we're past the stage you are now mentioning.
The Elders always had brilliant things to say when I questioned something. Most of them held water worse than a sieve.
I am happy that I have moved on. My search to become closer to God has swayed from the direction that this girl wanted me to head, thankfully. As you mention, I know that not all Mormons are the perfect people that they claim to be.
I am an avid long distance runner and am very accomplished. My running means more to me than just about anything. This girl would hold it over my head whenever I went running on a Sunday or bought the Sunday paper. I was going to hell for not keeping the sabbath day holy. I asked her if she could tell me any other day when I could by the Sunday paper, and if she could do so, I would be more than happy to be obliged. All the while, she would lie to me about everything. Whenever I said something to her about bearing false witness, or referring her to Matthew 5:37, she would be dumbstruck. She also cheated on me. She told me that she loved me, but she just loved what she wanted me to become. Everyone on campus thought she was this good Mormon girl. Girl, yes. Mormon, unfortunately. Good, anything but.
My wife decided that her priority in life was her church. She accepted calling she did not have time to complete. She neglected the needs of the home even though she did not have to work. The house became a wreck. She would invite the missionaries over every week for dinner and give them the food that was left over, leaving me nothing to eat when I arrived home from work. That didn't really matter because she would not fix meals for me or wash my clothes anyway. If it matters, she wouldn't allow sexual contact either.
I endured in the relationship for about three years. During this time I became so depressed that I didn't attend church anymore. I never received a call from anyone in the church offering to help nor was I visited. I eventually left my wife to maintain what was left of my sanity. Immediately the bishop became involved. He didn't want to know how he could help. He wanted my wife to tell him the minute she suspected me of having a relationship with another woman. My wife told me she would not divorce me unless I committed adultry. So I told her I had. She applied for divorce the next day and the harassing calls from the church leadership started. I got them every day. They demanded I come talk to them under threats if I didn't. I tried to be nice on the phone but I was constantly being given the second degree. I know what it's like to be on the witness stand now. Eventually I started hanging up when they called. (I always thought it was amazing that I never got a call until they thought they had something good on me.) Well you can guess what happened from here. I was excommunicated and as a treat, I was notified by a return receipt letter. The mother of my children is still a member dedicated to fulfilling her church duties.
I never took the time to research the mormon church but I did listen to what was said. I understood that we were all suppose to be children of God in the same sense that we have children on Earth. If my son had been accused of doing something wrong, I certainly would not punish him before I heard his side of the story. If he admitted being guilty, I wouldn't throw him out of the family, instead I would try to help. My point is you don't always have to look for inconsistencies in the history. Look for them in the actions and teachings also.
I was sad to leave my family but I am extremely glad to be away from the mormons. A more foolish mistake I have never made than the day I agreed to become a member of that church.
You may print this horror story if you think it will help someone else.
My emotional grab bag is a jumble of mixed feelings: Anger at being deceived, Anger at myself for creating a religion out of my needs, Fear of living a genuine life free of the external constraints imposed by religious ideologies, Fatigue (when will I ever be WHOLE?), and a sense of unreality - is this really happening?
I guess this sense of imbalance is normal for somebody recovering from the effects of a high-control group, but even though I'd read about it, I never expected to be going through it myself. I don't feel a need to 'have my name removed from the records of the Church'. I don't recognize the Church as having any authority over my soul, my heart, or my mind any more. I feel as if to write a letter to the church would be tantamount to recognizing some kind of legitimacy, which I don't want to grant it.
This process is much harder than I thought it would be.
I just wanted to add one thing. Most active LDS choose to ignore their doubts because the thought of leaving the church is too much for them to handle emotionally. Think about it, for people who have based their entire lives on the truthfulness of the church, it's too much to realize that everything you've based your life on and the lives of all your family members is a hoax. Most people just don't have the strength to do what we have done.
Anyway, I really feel for those who have discovered that their spiritual life has been shattered. Like many people, my spiritual life is a very personal and strong part of me, and I would be devastated if I found everything I believed in was a lie. I pray that something will fill the void left in people by this false faith.
What generated my interest in your page (I used Webcrawler to find it) is a recent trip I took to San Diego to visit my girlfriend. We drove between La Jolla and San Diego a bunch of times and during that trip we passed a Mormon temple. I mentioned that it looked like it was made of plastic (ironic, as it seems the religion itself is a farce, too) and wasn't very attractive. I wondered what it looked like on the inside. My girlfriend said something like "Well, keep wondering because you'll never get to see the inside." and told me how only certain people were allowed in. This piqued my curiosity. Having taken a class on cults in college, my amateur cult sensor went "DING!"...
Anyway, I think your page is laid out very well, and will probably serve many people very well. I pray that God leads you on a path of faith that is true and you are comfortable with.
It is funny that a religion has to ADVERTISE on TV for converts. It just doesn't seem right to me.
As the years went by we were pressured of course to join the flock. We resisted and over the years have lost many friends when they realized that we would never be like them. Neighbors would not let their children associate with ours because they were not Mormon. I guess my child had the power to lead them astray. Boy some church Huh! I cannot believe the way they want me to. I'm also a cynic about everything, if I can't question it I won't accept it. I agree with you the church is an organized cult very rich and way to powerful. If the church was to start today they would be laughed at with all of their [crazy] beliefs. My children are religion free I have not found one religion that is not flawed. There is to much racism, intolerance, and bigotry in this world without adding to it.
Perhaps you can relate to how hard it is to live in a city that is full of people that when they find out you are not like them. You are no longer worthwhile and important. My children have especially felt this my their peers. That somehow they are bad and everyone else is good. Just because they don't believe like everyone else! What hooey ! What I see coming from the church scares me and it should everyone else. No religion should posses that much influence over so many people. The Mormons are all brainwashed robots and one day they will wake and realize it but it will be too late.
Yes you can print my letter, it is not the best , but it does convey some my feelings toward the church without being too long. Thanks for letting me get it off my chest.
Paranoid huh? well , just askin' . You see I'm well aware of the Mormon church's alarming growth in wealth and power, particularly in things like communications, computers , real estate and lots more. It's true, there's plenty of nice Mormon folk out there, but there's plenty of nice folk everywhere. That doesn't mean that they aren't sincerely wrong. It's the old Big Lie method. The people in charge really know better for the most part, but the Lie has gotten so big, so powerful, and so lucrative, that hey, why rock the boat, let's get with to the program, it doesn't hurt, and besides look at the millions like you.
When we arrived at their home we were welcomed by two missionaries and were then asked to take part in a series of lessons that would take part over several weeks. My Christian faith was very weak at the time and I really didn't know Jesus Christ, so I was prime pickings for them. But my wife however was brought up in the Lutheran Church and was willing to let me make my own decision on what the missionaries had to say.
After about the 3rd time they came to our house I began to question them about what I've read (I was reading anything and everything) and heard about their church. This wasn't allowed and made the missionaries quite angry with me.
Well to make a long story short I received Christ as my personal savior Feb 6 1994 and I am now in a e-mail discussion with my neighbor and I am trying to plant the seed...
It's great to see your page. Take care and god bless
Just wanted to say CONGRATULATIONS on your new page.....I regularly visit Clints research page and learned of your endeavors through his posting today. Though I have never been exposed much to Mormonism or Jehovah's witnesses, I have been greatly affected by actions of the members of these two groups...especially Mormons. My husband and I have endured a hate crime by a neighborhood we unwittingly bought a house in that was predominately Mormon and they were VERY demonstrative about wanting us to leave.....Well it has been two years now....still a bit rough going here and there but we dug our heels in and stayed, I refuse to be a victim of pure hate. Recently, I was referenced in a Phoenix newspaper concerning this hate crime....we live in a suburb of Phoenix, Arizona. While I respect and will stand up for a person's right to worship as they wish, I draw the line when that wish becomes their vehicle to attack me. There is a tendency to sweep anything negative under the rug about Mormons here in Arizona. The newspapers do a poor job representing the truth, so I'm thankful for the Internet! Anyways, your efforts are greatly appreciated and believe me you will be helping people. THANK YOU.
Eric's comments: I left her e-mail name off though she gave it to me.
This is coincidental to the letter above. My wife and I went to a coffee shop here in out little town of Cleveland TN 2 weeks ago and we were the only people in it at that time on a Saturday night so the young owners (early 30s) came over to talk to us. They are married to each other and had both been flight attendants for Delta Airlines and they had been based in Salt Lake City. Obviously they are not Mormons (they own a coffee shop) so we had an interesting discussion of what was it like to be the only non-Mormons on their street. I would not characterize their experiences as hate crimes, but they endured snubbing and complete rejection by all their neighbors when it became clear they would never convert to Mormonism. The neighbors would not even return a simple greeting.