Subject: Funny comments while trying to sell some of our Year's Supply (minor cussing)
Date: Feb 13 14:44 2004
Author: AZgirl

Back in 2002 my dear husband and I vowed to finally get our Year's Supply of food just as the inspired profits commanded us to do. We were ever so faithful and spent thousands of dollars and many hours at the cannery to finally achieve our goal.


Now that we are exmos with food storage rotting in closets, under beds, and on 3 sets of shelves in our office, we decided to sell off a bunch of it and recoup some of the money. So much of this stuff we will NEVER eat and we felt a whole year's worth of food was a bit "over the top". Besides, seeing it in front of my face everyday made me feel a lot of anger and resentment at the morg and I would love to have some of the money and space back.

So we sent out an email to friends and family telling them that we were selling some food storage at a discount price. My brother immediately thought we must be having financial difficulty if we were selling our food storage (of course as apostates our lives must be falling apart). I laughed and replied that, no, we are doing just great in the finance dept., but we just wanted to unload some of this shit. (OK, I didn't say shit).

Then a friend asked why we were selling it and I told her that we just want to keep a 3 month supply etc. and she asked "But what about the Second Coming?..." LOL! She knows we don't believe the morg's bullsh*t anymore....why would she ask such a stupid question?

Will dealing with our beloved TBM friends and family get any easier? I can hardly stand talking to them anymore they are so irritating. Will it just stop bothering me after time?

Subject: Funny
Date: Feb 13 15:00
Author: Joe

It's good to be prepared and plan ahead for rainy days, but the church's food storage guidelines are crazy. At a recent family get together, on my wife's side, we were all eating dinner and my FIL went around the table to each couple and asked how their food storage was. He said the prophet has commanded us to have one year supply of food storage. He caught us all off guard and each of us got our turn being put on the spot as he went around the table. His youngest daughter is inactive and married to a nevermo, and even they were put on the spot. It's interesting watching mormon dynamics from the perspective of an outsider. As a TBM, such behavior would have seemed normal.

Subject: Mormon "squirrel" syndrome
Date: Feb 13 15:06
Author: She God
Mail Address:

I still have the urge to store food!!! I never had a full year's supply, but I start panicking whenever there are empty shelves anywhere in the house.

There must be some psychological label for this.

Subject: Sometimes I wonder if it is good sense
Date: Feb 13 16:25
Author: sunshine
Mail Address:

and other times I wonder why I feel compelled to have my large pantry shelve full of canned food. I try to shop sales and purchase those things that we use a lot of, when it is less expensive. But somewhere in the back of my mind I wonder if it is mormon programming to do this. I do know that I hate seeing those big #10 cans of instant potatoes, instant refried beans, etc in my pantry. I can't wait until those are all used up.

Which reminds me of the time an innocent TBM asked the canning expert "if you are in dire straits why would you need Kool-Aid mix?" This was the month that they were pushing #10 cans of juice mix. (cog-dissonance creeping in?)

I also still remember the huge cans of wheat my parents had in the garage. Yes, wheat... not flour. It was never ever used. What a waste. (These cans were truly huge... we could easily fit two small kids on the top of each one. I guess a more accurate description would be huge barrels. Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb)

Subject: Re: Huge barrels of wheat
Date: Feb 14 06:21
Author: Hai Kolob
Mail Address:

Your mention of barrels of wheat reminded me of our garage when I was growing up. My parents heeded the counsel of the prophet and I remember helping my father fill up what must have been 20 50 gallon barrels of wheat and storing it in our garage. We actually did use some of it. My mother bought a wheat grinder and ground it up into flour and made bread.

The irony of the whole thing is that about 4 years ago as my parents were nearing retirement they sold their large house and bought a smaller one. When they moved, that wheat that had sat in the garage since the early 70's ended up being given away to someone who fed it to their livestock! No one in the family wanted it, and it was much more wheat than they would ever eat. Back when they initially bought it my mother was convinced that the second coming was nigh and we would soon be living off the wheat in the garage. Its funny what a ton of wheat sitting in your garage for 20 years can do to your perspective of coming doom.

Subject: Mormon "squirrel" syndrome
Date: Feb 13 15:06
Author: She God
Mail Address:

I still have the urge to store food!!! I never had a full year's supply, but I start panicking whenever there are empty shelves anywhere in the house.

There must be some psychological label for this.

Subject: AZgirl: it never changes with them. You just learn to put on your psychiatric nurses cap when
Date: Feb 13 15:23
Author: SusieQ#1

dealing with them and consider the source and their impairment! You know--they are REASON, COMMON SENSE AND LOGIC IMPAIRED! ;-)Then have a good laugh!

About food storage, etc., there is a certain amount of good sense in planning ahead but a year's supply is really going over board.

I have seen a Mormon woman stand in front of her cupboard in an effort to hide what she had because she was afraid people would know about it and steal it.

About that "second coming" stuff, just tell the relatives that if it should happen while you are alive, you are sure they will share their food with you!

Subject: I thought it was changed to a 3 month supply - deep seated fears of starvation or death
Date: Feb 13 15:18
Author: Ann

I think that many people have images of the WWII Europeans starving/holocaust victims and even a fear of death itself that is fostered by the "disaster" teachings of the "be prepared" message. I thought the church had changed their advice from 1 year to 3 months. I think this is a smart thing to do since I know so many people that have had to rely on it for one reason or another. But whenever my mother went on about it I'd always ask "Are you afraid of dying, going hungry or both?....Stop worrying "The Lord will Provide"" I hate that people are afraid for no good reason and for a "What if"!!

Subject: Re: I thought it was changed to a 3 month supply - deep seated fears of starvation or death
Date: Feb 13 15:27
Author: AZgirl
Mail Address:

No, they didn't change it. They tried to break it up to become easier to get. SO MANY people had NONE that they said to start small and work their way up to a year. They have always commanded a whole least up until August of last year.

Subject: Oh, God. I just realized what I should've said
Date: Feb 13 15:30
Author: AZgirl

"I don't need a food supply for the Second Coming because as a filthy apostate I shall be burned as stubble!" I guess my family will be a part of the BBQ at the coming of the Lard! Bwahahahaahaaaa! I'm such an evil bitch!

Subject: Who has room to store that much food? 
Subject: When I was growing up, I remember it being suggested that you store a 2 year supply.
Date: Feb 13 17:49
Author: Who me?

Also in the past we were told to also store a years supply of fuel! This seemed totally unattainable to me not only for the cost factor but where would you keep a 1 or 2 year supply of fuel. Also I was never sure if it was supposed to be fuel to heat your home, fuel to cook your food or fuel for your vehicle or all three. Good Gawd!

Subject: I also remember it used to be a 2 years supply years ago 

Subject: It's okay to use a gun to protect your food storage.
Date: Feb 13 18:18
Author: notmycuppatea

We had just moved back into this stake and there was a food storage meeting-fireside. It really got on my nerves and there were some fanatics talking about using guns to protect their bland food supply. I remember thinking "what about love they neighbor" and sharing.

Subject: Mormons ignore Jesus' teaching on not caring for the morrow: consider the lillies of the field - they neither toil nor do they spin... 

Subject: I think that only applies to the missionaries because someone will eventually give in and give them food. 

Subject: Re: Funny comments while trying to sell some of our Year's Supply (minor cussing)
Date: Feb 13 19:46
Author: Tell me about it!!!

My dad's a nevermo and my mom is a TBM. They are now divorced. However, my dad says that if there is a crisis or food shortage, he'll just run over to the closest Mormons, shoot 'em, and have a year's supply of his own.

I know he wouldn't do that... but it sure is a funny thought. All those Saturdays at the cannery for NOTHING!

Subject: GBH's prophesy regarding Y2K
Date: Feb 13 19:55
Author: Finance Clerk

Back in 1999 conference, I remember clearly our profit standing up, shaking his finger the only way Hinckley can at his sheep, quivering voice saying something to the effect that we need to get our food storage in order as it will surely be needed when Jan. 1st rolls around. That is the closest I have ever heard him come to prophesying anything. And it didn't come true!!!

Subject: Okay, my take on "food" storage.
Date: Feb 13 20:02
Author: Wag

The fact is, storing food is more time and resource consumptive than it's worth. If you want to do yourself a favor, start buying silver eagles or gold eagles. Most assuredly, they take up less room for storage and if the economy blows itself to hell in a hand basket, the value of them will be FAR higher than they are when you bought them. I.e., if you use a month's worth of grocery money to buy up a stack of silver, if you ever need it in time of disaster, it will very likely be worth a year's supply of food!

And there you are!


Subject: Second Coming?
Date: Feb 13 20:45
Author: Sooze K.

Forgive my ignorance . . . I'm a nevermo . . .

Why would your friend ask you about the second coming? I've always understood that the righteous would be immediately taken to heaven and only the ungodly would remain on earth. So Mormons don't think they're righteous enough to make the first cut? I'm sure I'm missing part (or all) of the story.

And those that do remain would suffer 7 years of tribulations. Seems to me that storing a year's worth of food only forestalls the inevitable.

Perhaps I need to turn my logic circuit off.

Subject: You're absolutely right.
Date: Feb 13 21:40
Author: MySongAngel

But morgbots also believe that there will be horrible famine and crap right before the second coming. It's kind of a double-bind. If you're righteous, you'll obey the prophet and have food storage, and then you won't starve. See? So even if you're way righteous, if you don't have food storage, that itself will be a punishment, because you'll be unprepared for the famine, and it will be because you didn't listen to the prophet.

Subject: maybe storage for the Millennium...
Date: Feb 13 21:54
Author: 2 of 6

...might not be a bad idea. If there will be no killing and the "lamb shall lie down with the lion", does that mean no more McDonalds, KFC?! No hamburgers!? Oh god, I can't cope with the thought of no more barbecue ribs.

I'll be needing at least Spam and beef jerky then.

Wouldn't he just rain down some of that yummy Manna for everyone?

This isn't looking so good after all :(

Subject: A couple funny food storage stories...
Date: Feb 14 06:41
Author: anon this time because these stories are too identifying...

Ok, once I went to Price Club or one of those jumbo stores with my whole Mormon boyfriend's family. So they all just started stocking up - the idea was to refill all the stuff they had used.

When they got to checkout, the bill was something like $1700. The checker looked at them and said, "Is this a Y2K thing?" His father just sorta joked, "No, not really. It's a six-kid thing."

Then they got home and were unpacking, and his mother was in the kitchen looking at this HUGE bag of pancake mix they had bought. She was sitting there counting on her fingers for a minute, then looked up, dismayed, and said, "We have enough pancake mix for over 3000 pancakes."

Later that day, she was on the phone to the customer service department for recipes that could be made with the pancake mix.

They also used to laugh at people who stored wheat. "What are they going to do? Drive back and forth over it with their car?"

Anyway, good times, good friends, despite the church stuff...

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