I love this group. So many people freely expressing their opinions without
fearing the Gospel Doctrine Teacher's terrible glances. This is a high. It
is pushing and pulling me through a growing period in my life. I am a flower
with much needed plant food now added to its water. Thanks.
There has been some discussion about why it is or isn't important to "resign"
from the church. Last Tuesday (in July 2002) I did so.........ALONE. For several years I
considered it....had quit believing but still saw that glaring
shadow.......the one that says, "If you exit, you will wind up in outer
I was haunted but I decided I was bigger than "it." So, on THE lunch break,
I finally took my "papers".... notarized and certified and sent them out the
postoffice door destined for SLC........... ALONE! I returned to my school
and spoke about what I had done to a favorite teacher. He was interested and
it set off a deeper relationship/friendship. Then, I spoke of it to a
neighbor, who rejoiced with me, another neighbor found out from
her.............he happened to have left the Jehovah Witness' 20 years ago
(he had been a minister in that cult.) He shed a few tears and asked it we
could talk about this whole thing because he had always felt so
ALONE......... And the list goes on.........I have multiplied friendships,
created deeper old relationships; many are expanding their love and minds
because of my "lunch hour dicision"................... as you can
SEE...........I was not banished to ALONENESS. I am closer to the more
global concepts of this planet than ever before and that's a pretty cozy
I used to be afraid that if I climbed all the way out of the box, the light
would be too bright.....I might wilt. Instead, it's been empowering,
calming, healing and quite good company. I am also consumed with the
knowledge that I am now part of deconstructing old constructs. This is a new
day and it won't light up without new thinking. Dear friends..........I
implore you to help take down this structure. It won't fall unless your
letters get there.
Think.........if all of you (who haven't yet) on this site sent in your exits
, it would empower one or two of your good friends to do the same and so
forth. We probably wouldn't see the entire collapse within our lifetimes but
we would be the match that sets the fire. We are already trying to light it.
I say..........take it one or two or..............???steps farther and see
how it improves the ALONENESS that has already been hovering over us because
of this church/cult. "Really leaving" is a potion sweet: powerful and
healing. Yes..........some will yell, scream and leave you, but, you will
find your truth and that leads to finding "family/friends" that aren't
necessarily connected by blood or doctrine ("us" for example)..........you
won't be ALONE.
It's more than "a piece of paper" (as I recall hearing at this
site)........it's about taking a lunch break (just one) to help build a more
loving and less fearful world. Without all of you, I don't know when I may
have made it this far. Congratulations for your bravery.
Sherry in Long Beach
Subject: I came here (to www.exmormon.org) because after 4 years of complete and committed "inactivity" I finally started wondering about the "doctrine" of ldsism. I had heard from a guy years ago that the temple ceremony was uncannilly (word?) similar to the masonic temple rite. I couldn't find anything on the Library of Congress site because it's simply nearly impossible to find what you're looking for on the Library of Congress site. So I found what I was looking for at exmormon.org.
I stay here because I have two children whose father is a 4th generation pioneer stock returned missionary in-his-mind-only true blue momon. Forget the fact that he still has confidential porn website billing peppered throughout his credit card statements and orders periodically from a fancy spot called (I think I better take this link out :)- S I/S), he goes to church on Sundays and sings for the General Authorities when they come through town. I get reinforcement and information here for myself to be ready for his twisted self-righteous onslaughts and to help the kids understand what lies are and where they lie.
My experience is that mormons in general are busy people with warm, shallow relationships that are usually limited to people in the church because they're simply too busy to make many relationships outside. I was a convert and highly active in women's leadership callings for nearly 10 years. I had a burning bosom, warm inspirations, converted friends, read the scriptures daily, attended the temple regularly (until I was hugged about 20 seconds too long by a Temple Presidency counselor in a room with the door closed when he was trying to "comfort" me in my grief). Basically, a card carrying, stamped on the forhead, Golden Convert.
I loved mormonism. I don't regret most of what I learned about people and myself through my experience. I had some good friends, but now that I'm completely and officially out and have my opinions about it, they don't have any more time for me. They don't brook opposing opinions very well, even when they want to. It's passing a bit too close to the anti christ and apostate evil world to brush shoulders with someone as far "in" as I was who has gone so far away as to say "Joseph was no prophet, Joseph was just a guy who, like my ex husband, couldn't keep his pecker in his pants and justified it with the temple ceremony and marriage, which just so happens to be so damned sacred it has to be kept a secret. How convenient. " Or, "Not wearing garments is about freedom and choice and not letting 80 year old men determine the fabric and style of your underwear." No. The person who I usd to consider my best friend doesn't want to hear that and she certainly doesn't want me in the same house with her (now adult) children. It's a difficult place for friends to go.
Do I think you are dishonest, ignorant, and stupid? No. I don't know you. Do I think a lot of mormons I've known are dishonest, ignorant, AND stupid? Not many. Do I think most of the mormons I've known are EITHER dishonest, ignorant, OR stupid. Yes. And so was I when I was there.
I was dishonest in trying to believe that "we" were in the One and Only True Church and not standing up and saying, "Excuse me! I really can't swallow this One True Church thing! What about my mom or my grandpa, who are the two most beautifully loving and spiritual people I know? Even more than any mormon I've ever met?"
I was ignorant because I only listened to the adrenelin rushes that burned my bosom instead of also looking at facts. I was ignorant when I kept my mouth shut when "leaders" said things such as, "When you question me, your bishop/stake president/area president/whatever, you are questioning God because God has called me in this position to make his decision known to you."
I was stupid when I let my ex husband have Priesthood Power in our house. What a loser.
I was stupid when I let nice guys who were just trying to fill callings call me as Young Women Pres when I had a newborn daughter who needed me oh! so much more than the girls who would have had regular Wednesday night activities whether I was there or not, going to meetings and on the phone more than 20 hours a week, NOT with my newborn baby.
I was stupid when I believed that Ezra Taft Benson was a prophet when he was in reality a very old, tired, sickly, demented man who wasn't given the dignity of living his final years in peace, but was constantly propped up and rolled out in his I'm-sure uncomfortable requisite suit and tie to try to dribble out a full sentence so "the membership" (membership is another issue, I'm not going into it here except to say that even though my two kids and I are officially removed you'll never see that reflected in the General Conference membership total-we're still in there) could think they had A Leader.
I don't HATE much. I hate corruption and I see corruption in the church. I hate intolerance and that's there too. I don't hate arrogance, but I despise it and I see that, too. But, these, and many other traits, are in no way limited to "The Church". They are everywhere. And everywhere they are, I feel pretty much the same. Whether it's in city government, my office, my own home, myself, or in the church of my ex-husband that my children still unwillingly have exposure to whenever he, in the words of my son, bothers to come around, I deeply disapprove.
And finally, Is it possible to be a good person and still be a mormon? I don't know. I'm not sure it's possible to be a complete person and be a mormon. I've never seen that happen, but it MIGHT be possible, but unlikely. There's too much mental gymnastics and compartmentalization for a person to really be whole in that church, so, I'd have to fall on the side of saying: It's possible for a person to be NICE and be a mormon, but most likely impossible for a person to be truly GOOD and be a mormon. Too much truth to hide from.