Subject: Recently Confirmed a member....Very confused
Date: Sep 23 16:23 2002
Author: SallySue


I was recently baptised and confirmed a memer of the Mormon church. I was under family influence to take the 6 discussions and I was baptised in about 2 weeks time.

I am very confused. I am now being told several things that I was unaware of when I was first confirmed (a lttle over a week ago.) I feel like I was tricked in a way. The Missionaries were very nice and pleasant, but I notice that they can't answer the questions of my concerns.

Since becoming a member, there have been alot of "Oh, by the way...did you know....) I wasn't told I couldn't watch TV or go grocery shopping on Sundays. They never told me about fast Sunday....there's alot I wasn't told.

I feel decieved in a sense. If I go to a church leader and question the discrepencies in the BoM will I be excommunicated? What happens if I want answers to my questions?

I feel like I have been suckered in a way. Help?!


Subject: You are right to be confused...
Date: Sep 23 16:31
Author: Pretend TBM
Mail Address:

They don't think they "tricked" you. They think they gave you "milk before meat". Fact is that there is a LOT more than Fast Sunday or no shopping on Sunday that they haven't told you! The Temple ceremonies themselves are a huge topic and central to LDS faith.

Cruise around this site and others. Try for example.

And don't feel bad. Isn't the saying "fool me once, shame on you?" They are the ones who deceived, or at least left out a large chunk of what Mormonism is.

And be glad you found out now instead of decades down the road like some of us! I wish you the best. Feel free to stay and "chat" with us here!

Subject: well - how badly do you want/need to be a mormon?
Date: Sep 23 16:33
Author: msmom

I don't think anyone will excoomunicate you, a new member, because you have questions.

Have you been to the home page of this site and visited this link?

Certainly the missionaries and church leaders will hope that you visit sites other than this one to find your answers. The fact that you are asking these questions at an exmormon site says a lot about your concerns.

I'm sorry you're feeling confused right now. Good luck researching and coming to a decision.

Subject: Re: Recently Confirmed a member....Very confused
Date: Sep 23 16:45
Author: Sue

That is exactly what happened to me--I had the discussions and was baptized before I knew it. Luckily I "woke" up before too long--this was only a year ago and I've been finding out a lot of things I didn't know, so I'm in the process of getting out of it.

I hope you're able to work things out so that you are comfortable and happy with them. I'm just telling you what happened to me, and this site helped me figure out what I wanted and needed.

Good luck to you.

Subject: investigating. again.
Date: Sep 23 16:45
Author: blabber
Mail Address:

In the absence of strong family pressure, you could simply have your name removed from the church records (annuls the baptism you just had), and tell them you would like to make a more informed decision the next time.

The irony is that the authorities will give you the policy-specified 30 days in which to change your mind about this procedure (in addition to giving you lots of grief about it), even though you got baptized within 14 days or so. They are willing to let you in under half the time that they will let you out.

Anyone owes it to herself to make informed decisions - especially about matters of "eternal" life and death. And in Mormonism, the more you look the more you find out.

good luck.

Subject: I bet they didn't tell you about holy underware or secret handshakes, rites and rituals
Date: Sep 23 16:51
Author: Socrates
Mail Address:

in the temple either. Probably no word yet on 10% of your annual income to the Church forever. I think you're in for a long ride.

Subject: Re: Recently Confirmed a member....Very confused
Date: Sep 23 17:17
Author: Pen
Mail Address:

Get used to it. The longer you'll be in the Mormon faith, the more doctrines will be slowly given to you. I think they realize that people can't handle it all at once (or would RUN if they got it all at once), so they spoon feed it to you. :-P Hell, I was born in the church, and I still am learning new doctrinal points. Note that I've been in a TBM family, and this isn't unusual.

Don't let anyone pressure you. You need to do what's best for you. Follow your heart and your head, and don't let anyone make you regret your choices. *hugs*

Subject: Stop and get out why you can....
Date: Sep 23 17:31
Author: JT
Mail Address:

you will be avoiding heartache and a lifetime of guilt. Most of us on this board have been in the church more than ten years. I think we all agree our lives would have been so much happier without all the guilt and mind control. This may be hard since it sounds like your family has some influence over you.

You have probably not heard about: Blacks and the priesthood, Polygamy (yes Mormon still believe and practice this), Tithing, Untold hours you will spend on callings. You are in the Mormon Honeymoon phase. Now that you are baptized, you will not get much attention. You will now start getting taught how to feel guilty about not being perfect. Please! Please! Please! do not let them get into your mind. You will be taught that to question "ANYTHING" about the church is anti-Mormon. If they found out you were on this site they would pounce on you like hungry dogs and make you repent for reading vulgar anti-Mormon words. We understand and care what happens to you. Get out why you can!

Subject: Re: Recently Confirmed a member....Very confused
Date: Sep 23 17:46
Author: Osiris
Mail Address:

Dear Sally:

I have been a member for 33 years, so I've learned a few things about "the church". I should add, I've asked to have my name removed from church records. I have been a youth leader, in the bishopric, in the stake presidency, and even had a regional calling once. Now I'm ashamed I ever partook in such a deceitful organization.

The church has a policy of hiding things the are bad or, well, "not faith promoting" (in other words, scandalous).
Church leaders have lied since day one. For example, Joseph Smith married his 1st plural wife in 1835. By the time he died, he had quite a few more.

Brigham Young and the other leaders all had plural wives as early as 1842. UNTIL 1852 all the Mormon leaders lied to the American people AS WELL AS TO THE CHURCH MEMBERSHIP saying no polygamy (plural wivery) was being practiced in the church. Only after Brigham Young moved the saints to Utah (and not then until 1852) was it finially admitted. Many members were shocked. Because of this, many left the church and migrated back east.

The church has lied many, many, many times. If I briefy list them all, it would take all night. Search the facts. You'll be appauled.

I just briefly want to challenge you to ask God the Eternal Father if the Book of Mormon is a fraud. If you ask with real intent, having faith in Christ, He will manifest the incorrectness of it to you. I testify to you that Joseph Smith was lying (as the church lies today and covers up it's true history). I know this to be true. I testify this in Jesus name!

Subject: similar thing happened to me
Date: Sep 23 18:03
Author: vickilynn
Mail Address:

I was baptised May 8 and when I went to the ward Memorial Day picnic a few weeks later was involved in several "eye opening" conversations regarding polygamy in the Celestial Kingdom, creating and populating our own universes etc...I didn't worry too much about it because I believed that there is room for everyone to have his/her beliefs and that is what makes life interesting. Soon I found out that these are things that the church endorses and through my many years of extremely active mormonism I learned about many other "way out there" beliefs. Why did I stay? I had made the commitment. I had family and friends. My husband and I had "important" callings. I had made covenants. etc....
I will tell you that personally there are some aspects of the mormon church that I find positive, mostly some of the social aspects...but these same aspects can be taken to the extreme and become unhealthy for the individual and the individual's family. I think what I am trying to say, is that you can find "good" in the mormon church but there is a lot more NOT GOOD! You can find much more good somewhere outside of the church without all the nastiness that the church can bring into your life. Use your head, weigh the facts and you will know what to do...then just DO IT before it gets harder. Good luck!

Subject: My 2 cents..
Date: Sep 23 18:27
Author: Bushman
Mail Address:

Since your posting on this site, I'd say you are likely on your way out. However, if family concerns or whatever keep you involved in some way, don't think you have to follow all that crap.

First of all, only Nazi or Ultra Mormons follow the "don't watch TV on Sunday bull" My TBM family always watched TV on Sunday. ditto for eating out on Sunday although this one will be frowned upon by a few more members.

I was born into this church along with about 1000 or so of my closest relatives, and I have openly stated my position to my Bishop, Stake President and Quorum Leader. I attend Church with my family because of my family and I try to get what good I can out of it.

I do not accept Home teaching assignments, do not pay tithing, do not attend the temple, etc. So far, So good. In a way I kind of feel sort of "Special". For those who obviously look down their self righteous noses at me, I'm all the more friendlier with them. I go right up to them, shake their hands and say "My it's good to see YOU here today". They look at me sheepishly and say thanks, It's good to see you too.

For the most part, these people are good people. They have been suckered like the rest of us and just don't know it yet. The obnoxious ones can be irritating, I try to turn it around and get on their nerves instead and kill them with kindness, which is the last thing they are expecting from an apostate. I also, try to show them how Happy I am which also goes against their paradigm.

Subject: Oh, Sally Sue, your story sounds so familiar!
Date: Sep 23 19:22
Author: : )
Mail Address:

I really hope you are still around reading these responses. For me too, it wasn't too long after I was baptized/confirmed a member that I began to think I don't think it's what it appears to be. The thing that sent me on the way out was reading the temple ceremony online, at Please, keep reading everything you can so that if you decide to stay in the church, you will be well informed. And this site will help too, it has been a real eye opener for me. There is also another one, or org, I think, which you might want to check out.

You are right to feel deceived, there is much you weren't told, like after going to the temple you have to wear a special undergarment all the time. Or about the very spotty past of the church and "prophets". Please keep reading, and be prepared, you will find out much much more.

Take care, and good luck with whatever you decide.

: )

Subject: If you decide you want to resign from the church, go here
Date: Sep 23 21:57
Author: KathyWUT

for information on how to resign from the church, please visit

Subject: That also happened to me
Date: Sep 23 22:52
Author: Adrienne
Mail Address:

I know your confusion. I wasn't told about the secret
handshakes or the funny underwear you get after you visit
the temple. I didn't appreciate being ignored by my Bishop
because I'm a woman and he only spoke to my ex. My ex turned
out to be emotionally abusive and controlling so the
marriage ended after a few months of hell. Mormon men don't
take into account the ideas of women or give them a say in
what goes on. The Morg thinks of women as second-class
citizens who are here to serve the penishood and to provide
all of the food at events, plus act as servants at funerals
and wedding receptions. Speaking of funerals, people are
buried in their temple clothes, and there are sites that
show how ridiculous they look. If I had been in the temple,
I would probably have laughed at the costumes, especially
the chef's hats. Get out now!!

Subject: Your instincts are correct....
Date: Sep 23 23:06
Author: tom
Mail Address:

Mormonism will attempt to extinguish your rational thoughts,
in particular, the doubts you are having now.

If you go to them with your concerns you will be expected
to participate in your own self delusion. You will be subjected to words and phrases designed to cause doubt
in yourself. Listening to yourself is the most important
thing you can do at the moment.

Avoid all contact with Mormons starting today. Don't let the
mind games go any farther. If you let them talk to you
they will use the crowbar of guilt to cause a lack
of resolve. Their whole game from here is to get you to
question yourself.

Immediately start the process of name removal. Only contact them by mail. Do this while you are strong.