Subject: "What is wanted?"
Date: Oct 08 23:31
Author: barman
Mail Address:
OK, With all the intellectual exchanges it is time for some light mindedness and loud laughter. I tried this a few months ago and was surprised at the responses. There are plenty of new posters who will get a laugh out of this I'm sure!

SO, what are your favorite/most memorable temple phrases? My best friend answers the phone now with "WHAT IS WANTED..." And, one of my favorites, that I try and incorporate into everyday usage is, "I have sufficient for my needs" (i.e. do you have any money? ummm...yes, I have sufficient for my needs...etc.)


Subject: Please close your eyes
Date: Oct 08 23:40
Author: Anon
Mail Address:
Ever notice that the men are never told to open their eyes again, in the part where Adam sleeps and Eve is created? They close their eyes, as if they were asleep, and shortly after that they "arise." But, their eyes are still closed!


Subject: "I will suffer.....my life.....to be taken."
Date: Oct 08 23:46
Author: Kim
I'm surprised that Harold in the movie "Harold and Maude" was not a mormon. One of his favorite pastimes was committing suicide.


Subject: I know my husband's favorite is when I say:
Date: Oct 08 23:57
Author: Naughty One
"I will go down"


Subject: Re: I know my husband's favorite is when I say:
Date: Oct 09 00:16
Author: TLC
Mail Address:
Naughty One wrote:
> "I will go down"

And I won't come back up till you're happy!

(Was that in the ceremony?)



Subject: "That will do."
Date: Oct 09 00:10
Author: sunny
Subject: "I adam having been found worthy....
Date: Oct 09 00:19
Author: Ziggy
wish to converse with the Lord thru the veil." I think that's it...plus I always liked the "strength in the loins and in the sinews" stuff.



Subject: "I have sufficient for my needs"

Subject: Honestly, I don't remember much of the words...
Date: Oct 09 00:23
Author: TLC
Mail Address:
...because I was always too worried about getting my hat at just the right angle so that it looked like a french beret instead of one of those hats the kids used to have to wear in grade school when they got ringworm.


Subject: "Oh Lord, hear the words of my mouth."
Date: Oct 09 01:24
Author: Jennifer
Mail Address:
Like, where the heck else would they be coming from?


Subject: Oh no, my slippers are on!
Date: Oct 09 01:39
Author: Puffrider
Mail Address:
I really suffered guilt one time because I forgot to remove my slippers while changing the shoulders I had my robe drapped over! That was no doubt the begining of my apostacy!
Jennifer wrote:
> Like, where the heck else would they be coming from?


Subject: You're supposed to remove your slippers?? Oops! n/t
Date: Oct 09 01:42
Author: Jennifer

Subject: LOL, yea as opposed to
Date: Oct 09 01:47
Author: Ex Lax Joe
Mail Address:
"Lord hear the words of my a**" (referencing the temple/farting thread from a couple days ago)

Ex Lax Joe


Subject: It depends on which mouth they're speaking from.
Date: Oct 09 04:33
Author: Kim
Mail Address:
Many mormons and especially the G.A.'s have more than one mouth. They speak out of the one that makes them look the most favorable at any given time. THAT's the mormon way.


Subject: What is that? Has it a name?
Date: Oct 09 01:54
Author: Shake Me
Mail Address:
It's not the funniest, but you can use it quite often. Nowadays, there aren't many TBMs around, so it's pointless. But if I ever get back to a high density TBM environment, you can be sure I'll be pointing at this and that and asking, "What is that? Has it a name? Will you give it to me?"

If I see that my friend has a really nice new watch, I'll point to it and say, "What is that? Has it a name? Will you give it to me?" I'm pretty sure those are the trigger words for the Law of ConsecrationŽ hypnotic suggestion*. When my friend hears those words, he'll think I'm a temple worker and hand over the watch. At least, I think that's how it works. I may be confused.

* Law of ConsecrationŽ is a registered trademark of the COJCOLDS.


Subject: You wasted a perfectly fantastic line...
Date: Oct 09 02:14
Author: maryanne
Mail Address:
on a watch?!?

"What is that? Has it a name? Will you give it to me?"

I can't believe it makes you think of watches. Call me a dirty old woman, but I didn't think of anything by Timex.

maryanne <--- still laughing


Subject: Oh there are lots and lots of applications for that line! I was just holding back.
Date: Oct 09 04:47
Author: Shake Me
I'm planning on taking out some ads in the back of cheesy magazines offering to sell my new book: "How to get anything you want in the world, using secrets revealed only in the Mormon temples and this book".

I think that was one of those lines between Clinton and Lewinsky, as reported in the Starr report. Or maybe I'm getting confused. It may have been a line between Hyde and Hatch.

"What's that? Has it a name? Will you give it to me?

"It is Binky and I will give it to you upon completion of the five-point inspection of this Fellowship Motel Room for hidden cameras and bugs."
;o)


Subject: Venn you translate von de German
Date: Oct 09 02:00
Author: Der alte Fritz
Mail Address:
unnnt Gott Michael says to zuh Yehovah Gott "it is glorious and beautiful," unnnt Yehovah Gott says baaak to zuh Gott Michael, "it is, Michael."

Vell, in de Deutsch, der Yehovah Gott says, "Du sagst es Michael!"

Okay, duh trrrranslation to zuh Englisch,
"YOU SAID IT, MIKE!"

I tink dat ist funny!


Subject: "The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat..."
Date: Oct 09 04:46
It's absolutely amazing and even shocking to think of some of the things that wacky serpent has gotten me to eat. Some of the things though have been "delicious to the taste and VERY desireable!"



Subject: I prefer Adam´s line: "The WOMAN gave me the fruit, and I did eat." Alway blame it on the female!! LOL!

Subject: My favorite is "Oh Lord, hear the words of my mouth" and watching
the guy up front representing Peter raise his arms up, lower them, and then have to tug down at his stiff white jacket because it got hung up on his belly. =P


Subject: Behold, there is matter unorganized ..


Subject: "philosophies of men, mingled with scripture"


Subject: "there is NO other way"


Subject: "You can buy anything in this world for money."
ubject: Re: "You can buy anything in this world for money."
Date: Oct 09 10:40
Author: NonMom
Whenever I hear that phrase, I can picture Michael Ballam (one of the Satans in the post-1991 temple endowment movie) and his glinty-eyed look from the movie. I guess it meant more to me because I grew up where he lives and my dad always said, "There's the devil's house."


Subject: "God will NOT by mocked!!!! (said in very serious tone).
Date: Oct 09 10:48
Author: Reader
Mail Address:


Subject: Bow your head and say yes...


Subject: "For god will NOT be mocked." That one always made me snicker!

 

Subject: Haven't laughed this hard in days! I have some that crack me up too
Date: Oct 09 14:02
Author: SusieQ#1
and make me scratch my head...


I have a bunch of favorite lines that so far have not been mentioned.



PETER says: It shall be done, Jehovah. Come, James and John, let us go down.
Now in the older versions, James and John repeated: We will go down! We will go down. Each one says it in turn.

Then Jehovah says things like: "it is well, Peter, James and John. !!

Then to Elohim he says: Peter, James and John have been down to Adam and Eve and their posterity and have done all that they were commanded to do!


In Their Own Words http://www.helpingmormons.org/ceremony016.html
The First Token of the Melchizedek Priesthood or the Sign of the Nail

This is the Best one to use when shaking hands because it is the easiest to do! Then say: WHAT IS THAT? The Patriarcal Grip is a little harder to pull off!
Subject: "Do you have any tokens?"
Date: Oct 09 13:18
Author: going, going, gone
This works quite well at the Chuck E. Cheese pizzeria. "Will you give me your tokens?" "Do you sell your tokens for money?"

However, the pizza is usually of the telestial variety.