Subject: Did anyone else gain confidence after discovering the church is a fraud...
Date: Feb 27 13:49 2003
Author: John

While I was researching the church and having doubts about it, I felt bad. I was depressed and confused. Finally, I made the decision that Joseph Smith was a fraud and the church was not true. All of sudden it all made sense. It was the only explanation that made complete sense. There was no more confusion and I was happy. I was at peace, but I was still hiding it from my family and friends. I told my wife recently (another story) and now I feel better than I have for years. She asked if I wanted to talk to the bishop about it and I surprised myself when I said, "Sure". All my life I have feared and confrontation and avoided it when possible, but I had no fear of meeting with the man. I realize I speak up and defend my opinions more than I ever have in other areas as well. I have never felt so confident, not that I was clinically depressed, but I now feel like my life is in my hands and I can make it whatever I want. Is this just a normal reaction to discovering something new, like those church converts that come in all gung-ho because they learned the 'truth'? Am I just excited about a new chapter in my life and it it is just temporary or is it because I have shed the morg influence? I never thought the church was oppressive. Maybe it was more subconscience with me because now that I consider myself out of the church (I'm not 'officially' out), I feel free. Anyone else experience this?

Subject: I did
Date: Feb 27 14:01
Author: Guy_from_Alberta

I have and to this day I remember where and what I was doing when I came to the realization that the church is not true and that JS was a liar. The feeling that came over me was incredible. It felt as if a load of bricks were suddenly taken off my back. No more mental gymnastics to try and convince myself into believing something that I simply did not believe in. Following this discovery came an overwhelming feeling of peace and contentment. I even spoke to my bishop and said I simply can no longer force myself to believe something that my mind won’t accept. No more ramming a square into a round hole. I still have no problem telling any church leader how I feel about the church. I’m not rude or ignorant about it but I don’t tolerate the “I know the church is true” bullsh** either. I simply bear my testimony how I know it’s a lie.

Subject: Yes, but there was a downside...
Date: Feb 27 14:03
Author: Dagny

I definitely agree with you. I felt the confidence you describe also.

But, it made me consider just what else about life might be a big fat lie, and this was very sobering. With that freedom comes a few burdens.

I found out much of what I just assumed about the world was wrong. It was a real stab to my ego to confront the fact that there are no answers out there and people lie about almost everything without even knowing it.

It gave me personal confidence to open my eyes, but less confidence in the human race. It is not pretty to realize how dumb humans really are. I was roaming around as a Mormon thinking I was so smart, and it was a blow to find out how dumb I really am.

Subject: Re: Yes, but there was a downside...
Date: Feb 27 15:48
Author: boyscout

I agree, but you are not dumb for finding and accepting the truth in a world where everyone is compartmentalized in one religion or another. What most seem to have on the board, is a spiritual awareness, either athiest or new God vision (that does not include killing and torturing someone on the cross) and enough humanity to continue to care and love his neighbor. A sort of rejection of the "supernaturalism" of religion, but an acceptance of a message about loving one another and caring that makes a difference. Sure many people in the world dont understand how we each impact each others lives, but ex-mos seem to understand that. Dont give up on us just yet... I feel a new movement coming and if we stay together, this world just might be a better place!

Subject: Dagny, give yourself a break...
Date: Feb 27 15:59
Author: PRAVDA

You were doing the right thing according to the information you had at your disposal. The same is true for the rest of the mormons or most members of other religions.

As far as dishonesty, some people see it similar to lying to a person to stop them from jumping off a bridge. They truly believe that we are in danger if we don't follow the dogma, so not being completely honest seems justified.

I'm just glad that I know better, but I don't blame mormons or religionists too much. The web of superstition can be subtle and very powerful. I was sincere as a mormon, and believed that my following the program was the best thing to do for myself and others.

But I got better.

Subject: Too true
Date: Feb 28 01:36
Author: Huh?

My feelings were similar (and still new). Going from a Mormon who knows everything to realizing I know nothing is hardly a confidence booster. A world where answers are not clear or the clear answers are not desirable. And the reality of humanity is kind of a downer too . . . Anyway, I enjoy your thoughts.

Subject: Same here. After seeing through the maze of
Date: Feb 28 09:05
Author: Jeff Cohen

LDS propaganda disguised as "Truth", an additional confidence in my life proved supreme.

I too, wondered what else in my life was based on beliefs that had no credibility. Once you see just how you've been manipulated and just how gullible you were, you become very aware when someone is trying to hoodoo you for their own personal gain. At least that's an insight sharpened upon my mind when I realized just how I had give my life to the COP [Corporation of the President] to do with as they pleased. My life is now my life, to be shared with others who really care. More time for my family and pursuits I feel really make a difference in this world.

Not to mention, my kids. Instead of giving it all to the Mormon dream team for collosal sized buildings, I am able to do more for my children. They are grown and it gives me much more pleasure to stroke a check to them than it ever did the COP.

People, organizations, etc. hide behind Jesus & God thinking that lends credence to their purpose; when, in reality, it's all about money. The COP gathers you together twice a year for some salesmen type seminar then sends you back home with a desire to do even more for them. What garbage.

Was in Sam's Club the other day when this preacher with his black bib & white collar, accompanied by his wife, were getting their first Sam's card. Funny, they went straight to the wine section and bought enough wine that everyone posting on this board and their complete neighborhood could have had about 3 bottles each. Amazing. Guess God was going to have a big party.

Wonder just what social events my money I donated all those years went to supply?

I had a virgin stomach as a mormon---never had a Coke or Dr. Pepper trickled past my lips. To think I felt like an evil person if I ever drank one. Amazing the spin that can be put on something as simple as a softdrink, underwear and who you can invite to your wedding.

I agree with you 100% and now....

My confidence waxes strong.

Jeff Cohen

Subject: I had similar thoughts. . .
Date: Feb 28 11:49
Author: Ether

I think that's why I find conspiracy theories interesting. I feel most things we are told by our government ain't so true. But, I think the inherent nature of people is to do good.

When I was active, there was the "I'm special" logo stitched to my brain, and I used to think less of others. It's was hard habit to break, but a good lesson for me.

Subject: lies under the microscope
Date: Feb 28 22:31
Author: porkrind

Dagny wrote:

"But, it made me consider just what else about life might be a big fat lie, and this was very sobering. With that freedom comes a few burdens.

I found out much of what I just assumed about the world was wrong. It was a real stab to my ego to confront the fact that there are no answers out there and people lie about almost everything without even knowing it."

I agree. As others have often said, after finding out the church is a lie, you naturally turn those critical thinking skills on other subject like belief in god or government. The abiliy to think for yourself is both wonderful and heart-wrenching

Subject: I hadn't been happy with the church for sometime...
Date: Feb 27 14:36
Author: D-man

I had been going to SM only for years. I would think to myself that I was "off the reservation", but I knew the church was lying about somethings.

One sunday, on my way to Micky D's for some lunch, while everyone else was in sunday school, it hit me like a bolt of lightning, it wasn't true. It took me probably 5 years of not believing to make the jump and admit it to myself. The relief was tremendous. I felt and feel great. A great calm and peace.

BTW, this is still a sore spot with the entire family, but if you can't be honest with yourself, then who can you be honest with.

Subject: Discovering Mormonism was a fraud was just the first step. (may offend Christians)
Date: Feb 27 15:38
Author: Sobriquet

However, I didn't feel completely free until I decided that Jesus is a myth. I greatly mourned at first after coming to that conclusion. I felt kind of lost, but I don't anymore.

I'm very surprised at how much more at peace I am since deciding that I'm an agnostic. I feel a lot more confident and alive without the spiritual and intellectual constraints of Christianity or any other organized religion. I know that I'm a lot happier person too. I really didn't expect that at the beginning of my journey.

Subject: except
Date: Feb 27 15:57
Author: boyscout

I agree.. except Jesus was not the fraud... it is what Paul wrote about Jesus 40 years after he died and having never met the man. Jesus was a wonderful Jewish Rabbi who taught that we are all children of God, with a few embelishments. Paul made it into a religion that he knew would convert the myth believing Greeks! And it worked! Don't blame Jesus... he would be proud of us... he walked to the beat of his own drum and believed differently than many others... Paul is the one that rewrote history turning his teachings into Christianity.

But Paul cannot be hated for this, he did create a new era of modern thinking and religious movement in the world putting an end to eye for an eye and many Old Testament practices (can you imagine how horrible the world would be if we still believed like that)! I think Paul knew exactly what he was doing... trading in an old world myth for a new one (that advanced humanity).

We are not in the dark anymore... we do have the "fullness" of the gospel. And we are still good people for knowing its all been an evolutionary process by which humanity has improved itself!

Subject: The stuff I've read...
Date: Feb 27 16:49
Author: Sobriquet

is pretty compelling that Jesus never existed and that the Jesus story is the recycled myth of Osiris, Dionysus, Mithras, and several other pagan gods. Of course, there are scholars for Jesus who'll attest to his existence, but I don't find them very convincing at all. They're like a Christian version of FARMS, IMO.

Even if Jesus, the man, really did exist, I don't believe in prophets. IMO, the story of Jesus is inspiring in many ways, and many of the things Jesus did and preached are good and worth emulating. However, when it comes to the divinity of Jesus, I'm a firm non-believer.

Subject: Absolutely and now...
Date: Feb 27 16:02
Author: bored

my only rule for myself is to make decisions based on love, not fear. Religion only works because it is motivated by fear; lose the fear and they lose their power over you. Life is good...

Subject: Yes, but I'm sure it wasn't the only factor. . .
Date: Feb 27 16:47
Author: catholicgirl

. . .just being independent and knowing that I had been true to myself was quite liberating and empowering, and I learned to trust my own instincts.

Subject: Re: Did anyone else gain confidence after discovering the church is a fraud...
Date: Feb 27 19:08
Author: Star Sailor Cat

once I was spiritualy unwell
....we all go through that ....
Then the intelligence in my soul cured me .

Best thing I ever did was leave the mormons.

It was thanks to my husband really .He did a mission in Germany and I was a convert from UK.

Anyway it was him who pointed out all the stuff that was wrong with the church .

His family are waiting for us to go to hell ,but life is happy without the church in our lives and yes we are both more confident people .

I feel ashamed I got my self mixed up with mormons in the first place .I do laugh at my foolishness now tho .

Here is a secret I never told before ......

I was known for my good and interesting talks at church on Sundays......I stole all my best talks from the British Salvation Army newspaper... The War Cry!

peace and love from Star Sailor Cat >^.,.^<

Subject: First a loss of confidence
Date: Feb 27 19:13
Author: Bob

I first experienced a complete loss of confidence. The rug had been pulled out from under my spiritual life. At that point, I went even deeper into the church, knowing that it wasn't true...I was a great pretender.

It wasn't until a year after I left and a few therapy sessions that I learned my strength was in me and always had been.

Then I felt confident, but humble.


Subject: more self-confidence than I've EVER had
Date: Feb 27 19:20
Author: MollyNoMore

I guess it just comes from knowing I am my own person who can make my own decisions. I am the happiest I have ever been in my life...I don't think I ever knew how happy I could be while in the morg.

I tell my TBM fam how happy I am, and, of course, they say "You only think you're happy."


Subject: "You only think you're happy" LOL. That's funny....
Date: Feb 27 19:59
Author: John

Who decides whether YOU are happy or not. You think you're happy, but they know you aren't? That is SO arrogant and totally morg like.

Subject: It is pretty amazing
Date: Feb 27 19:24
Author: putter

I have not read many accounts of people here who have left who do not have a feeling of - joy, relief, less stress, peace of mind and heart.
I remeber the day when we said NO MORE were out, not going back and don't give a damn. It was like walking on clouds.

Good luck, hope the wife can join you soon

Subject: totally
Date: Feb 27 23:31
Author: canada-mark

ive only been "out" for a few months now.. and like everyone else- at first i felt nothing but shame and sadness...
but now i can feel myself getting stronger. if someone asks why i dont go to church i simply say "i dont believe that its true" - and if they ask me why, i say "i dont feel like discussing it". i leave it at that.
since leaving one thing i have learned is how to say NO. and i feel really great!

Subject: I felt relieved, that I could maybe stop being scared....n/t

Subject: Re: Did anyone else gain confidence after discovering the church is a fraud...
Date: Feb 28 08:11
Author: eric

WOW! the weight of the world has been lifted from me! i am so relieved that i have finally researched and pulled my family from the mind-warping lds "religion"! the more that i research, the more at ease with myself and my decision i become!!!

Subject: The long and winding road....
Date: Feb 28 09:52
Author: l2

Yes....much happier now. I control my life. I'm not subject to religious rules.

Whereas the church met a need for me earlier in my life, now I'm grown and the need is no longer there. Having held on, longer than I should was what was making me unhappy. Now that I've "let it go", my soul is free again.

End of chapter...beginning of the next.

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