Subject: How did YOU find RFM?
Date: Oct 23 01:43
Author: Charley

I found RFM after listening to Under The Banner Of Heaven on my mp3 player in a hospital after a hip replacement. When I got home I googled the wives of JS and ended up here. That was almost 6 years ago and I've been coming to this site ever since.

It's a good thing that I was recuperating because I spent 10 hours a day here at first reading the bios. I'd have been a wreck if I'd have had to show up at work everyday. Until I found this board I was a jackmo convinced that someday I would go back.

Now that thought just makes me laugh.

So how did all of you find this community?

I know this is really late, would an early morning person give me a top on this? I'm curious.


Subject: One link leads to another link leads to another...
Date: Oct 23 03:32
Author: ShocknAwe

This was just another site in my huge hunger to read and learn everything out there. I pretty much read the entire site before I finally discovered the message boards and now I'm stuck on them. Why do these board hold me so strongly when I can read most anything else and move on?

Unfortunately, I didn't discover it until right before school let out for the summer. I had teenagers home all day and had to wait until late at night to indulge. It really does feel like I'm living behind the iron curtain where spies are everywhere and you never know who will tell the Bishop on you. And this in my own home.


Subject: my turn....
Date: Oct 23 03:48
Author: Ben Ben

There is a lot to the story of how I emotionally got to the place that I was ready to find But once I was there, finding the board was fairly simple.

Basically, I had slowly and surely come to the realization that what the church taught (and how it behaved) did not match up with the teachings of Jesus. I started realizing that the church behaved just like ANY OTHER organization that tries to maintain a power hold over its followers.

I started becoming really depressed because "how is a person supposed to continue in life knowing that they knew without a doubt that the church was in the wrong, but that by acting upon such knowledge meant that you were damned to hell?"

On a very lonely sunday when my wife was at church, I couldn't bear the sadness anymore. and I decided to do a yahoo search for "mormon, sad, help." It led me to a link to a story of a person who had been treated horribly by the church--and yet the story was not far different from my own experiences. I didn't pay attention to the website where I was taken. I just read the story, then clicked back to my search results and then clicked the next link. I was taken to another story with similar pains and sadness. I noticed the background was the same as the first story. so I finally looked up to see that the website was ""

At first I got a little panicked. As a still good mormon person, I had been taught that such websites were of the devil and that they were all lies and that there was nothing but false witness on such sites.

Yet, I had already read two stories from perfect strangers. And their experiences and feelings were VERY similar to the ones that I had been going through. so I knew that what these people were sharing was not lies and not false witness.

So i sucked it up and started browsing the site and reading people's stories. Click after click, I saw that I was not alone in the world. There were hundreds of others out there who, like me, came to a tipping point in their lives--either they follow what they felt in their hearts, or they stay slaves to teachings that were no longer true but had become ingrained into their lives and give up EVERYTHING they had been taught and risk losing their souls and families.

I didn't make any permanent decisions regarding my salvation at that point. But I finally, for the first time in years, felt that I was not alone in the world and that others truly have survived what I was going through. And they were HAPPY and not cursed. I returned time and time again for a number of months before I finally registered a screen name. All the while, I gained courage that what I felt in my heart was what really mattered and that I had to let go of my fears.

Regardless of what my current beliefs are...I eventually realized that the answer to my problems lie with a simple question. it was this simple question that allowed me to reconcile what I felt with what I had been taught. The question was basically this: "If push comes to shove, who would I choose to follow...Joseph Smith or Jesus Christ?"

and once I asked myself that question, I was finally at peace. Because REGARDLESS of what the church had taught me, I knew that if I followed the teachings of Christ I could in no way be in the wrong. If I was serving my fellow man, if I was loving my wife, if I was doing my best to help my neighbor, if I was doing my best to live a good life, then there was NO WAY I could be judged at the last days as an apostate nor be cast out. this was one loophole that the church cannot close with their twisted logic--there is no empirical gospel support that we will be cast out for choosing christ over joseph smith.

Again, my current beliefs regarding christ/god are different than during those dark times, but I nevertheless got the courage from finding others who had the same concerns and experiences that I did.

IF I had read the web address of the stories I first clicked upon, who knows how things would have turned out. I am grateful that I read those stories and followed my heart and put my fears aside.


Subject: The satisfaction of knowing you're not alone.
Date: Oct 23 05:07
Author: Cheryl

That was a thrill for me! I found this board after reading all of the stories recorded at that time. This was a couple of weeks before an exmo conference in Las Vegas. I went into the next room and asked my husband if he'd like to attend and he jumped at the opportunity. I felt like a caged animal in the casino waiting for the time to register and sign in because I was so desperate to see other real live exmos. I'm grateful that new exmos don't have to wait for decades like I did to find out they're not alone.
Subject: You are NOT alone - the reason Eric started this place
Date: Oct 23 05:19
Author: Susan I/S

His hope was to help just one person. Maybe to let one family know he and his family were there too. That is why he started the site at Thanksgiving. He was thankful for the few people that helped them :). People leave for many reasons. It truly is an individual journey but knowing there are others on the path is a great comfort. No, you are not the only one, the King really IS nakid! And YOU ARE NOT ALONE!


Subject: I followed a link from the Utah Lighthouse Ministry site.
Date: Oct 23 04:58
Author: Cheryl

That was about nine or ten years ago.

I thought I knew the darkest ugliest side of the morg but I've learned it was much worse than I had imagined. Until I found RfM I thought the mormon church was a fairly decent social organization for those families who all stayed in it. Now, I see that it's probably bad for all of them as well as for those of us who decide to leave.


Subject: Re: How did YOU find RFM?
Date: Oct 23 06:36
Author: picture perfect exmo

About one month into recovery, my husband gave me the link to this site. I struggled with a lot of issues and lurked here for about 2 months before I had the courage to post for the first time.

We live in the Netherlands and both grew up in TSCC. We have never invested much in friends outside the "church", and the ones still inside shunned us after we left (...and those were the "nice" ones). We felt completely on our own at the time. It was hard to find anyone to talk to who actually had an inkling of what you were going through - especially the mind-controlling cult-aspects of it.

This site has helped me an awful lot and I cannot express my gratitude properly. I'm well over a year into recovery now and am still struggling with a lot of issues. 34 years of conditioning just don't go away over night, do they? It feels great to know you're not alone and it's also great to read that life after mo-ism gets better with each passing year.... =)

Special thanks to Susan I/S and Eric for keeping this site going!


Subject: Re: How did YOU find RFM?
Date: Oct 23 11:10
Author: rt

I found RfM in 1997 while searching for news about the LDS church. At the time, news was scarce in the European church. We usually found out about a new prophet or apostle about a month after the fact.

In the first months, I did some serious trolling but got beaten up quite regularly (I only remember by Randy J.).

After that, I only lurked, searching for the latest on the church. Sometimes I would linger for a few days, but it always made me uncomfortable - good old cog dis at work, I guess.


Subject: Re: How did YOU find RFM?
Date: Oct 23 07:25
Author: confused

I don't remember exactly. But the first time I saw this site, had something to do with missionaries starving. This was a couple years ago and somehow one of the sites I visited linked up to here.

I was a little scared I admit, yet the stories of the missionaries getting so little really bugged me. And at that time that new rules about feeding them had just come down and I knew they weren't going to be getting fed in our area. But this was an evil apostate site and I really didn't feel well afterward.

Skip ahead to last year- I started investigating the historical claims and came across i4m dot com. I read there a lot and was quite interested in the biographies link at the bottom of those pages, which I read a lot. Then I eventually crept into this forum.

I am thankful for this forum. I believe it saved me from years of therapy and tons of money or even permanent damage. I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown when I posted my second 'confused' biography note. Iy was a terrible and frightening time. It has been quite a ride since discovering that the church was not true, and I am glad for the those who run this board and frequent here giving good counsel, and just being there to commiserate, share knowledge, and recover with.


Subject: In a word...Google. Six glorious autumns ago. nt


Subject: Flew thousands of miles across country to visit my TBM in-laws with our 5 kids a few years ago . . .
Date: Oct 23 10:32
Author: JackMormon'sWife

It was a disasterous vacation that shook my faith in Mormonism to the core.

The very hour I got home from our 2-week trip to Utah, I got on the computer and googled, "Losing my testimony + Mormonism." Up popped RfM and I've been here ever since. That was three years ago.

I started by reading the short topics section and I didn't sleep at all that first night. Reading RfM became an obsession. I organized topics and biographies in order of my greatest interest first and then methodically worked my way through EVERYTHING.

I think it took me a few weeks to even start following along on the recovery board. After a year of lurking, I finally made my first post. Within another year, our entire family resigned from the church.

This forum has been a powerful, life-changing force for me.

Shannon ;o)


Subject: I left tscc back in the mid 1970s ...
Date: Oct 23 10:38
Author: Timothy

... and had pretty much let it go having never met another Ex-Mo. Then, in 1998, I came across RFM quite by accident while using Google for the first time.

I was doing research on a completely unrelated topic when a friend suggested I try Google instead of trusty old Metacrawler. I was looking over the search results and came across a fragment of a sentence that didn't contain the word Mormon or Mormonism, yet somehow struck a chord. I clicked on the result and was instantly blown away.

I gobbled-up the board for a couple of hours before making my first post. Man, what a trip!



Subject: Accidentally, in 2000...
Date: Oct 23 10:50
Author: Jon-D

.... I had returned home from the mission field more than a year earlier and was confused and unhappy with LDS Church doctrines and policies as they were officially explained to me, the missionary program, and my missionary experience...

I had nagging doubts, and my non-member dad who had opposed my going on a mission in the first place said that I looked like I had been drugged or just come back from Vietnam. I still get flack from my dad about wasting time, effort, and money in the mission field....


Subject: I was surfing the net at work one day, looking for porn [humor]...
Date: Oct 23 11:00
Author: SoCal Apostate

...and Joseph Smith's pedophilia kept popping up in all of the results. I stuck around to read about it even though there were'nt any pictures.

The real story is that I googled "mormonism" to see what the real world had to say about it. I was already out for almost 20 years at that point, but still felt like I stumbled across an online community of people with whom I have a lot in common.


Subject: During my apologetics stage
Date: Oct 23 11:01
Author: ender

Posted quite a bit on one site that back in the day (long, long ago) had several... incidents with this one. I thought you guys were kooky then, now I embrace it fully :)


Subject: Long Story, and over 2 years of research,
Date: Oct 23 11:16
Author: sfex

but from link to link to link...

I actually started researching the Masonic connection to Mo'ism...that got me really going, and one thing led to another, and "voila" here I am...still posting a year after resignation, and over 40 years of membership


Subject: Holy Ghost showed everyone how to get here. HG finally got sick and tired of them.........
Date: Oct 23 11:29
Author: dja

If you piss off the're screwed.

“one reason why so many people die, while journeying to this place (RfM); it is because the Holy Ghost is sick of them”
JoD 4; 150


Subject: A nevermo friend was looking to find information...
Date: Oct 23 11:37
Author: Goddess

that could help me since my family and I had just resigned tscc. I had been second-guessing our decision to leave. The friend sent me a link to one of the short topics and eventually I ended up browsing the site and finding this board.

It took me about 5 minutes to start posting and I haven't shut up since.

I love that there are wonderful, intelligent people here who have been through it all, too.

... and the rest is history ...


Subject: Re: How did YOU find RFM?
Date: Oct 23 12:29
Author: Tempeute

My sister told me to read Under the Banner of Heaven. I went to my public library and checked it out and finished it in about 2 days. Then I checked out No Man Knows My History by Fawn Brodie and finished that in about 2 days. At this point I was hooked and had to read more.

I had read an anti mormon book by an evangelic christian back in the 80's and thought that he completely missed the point of mormonism, so when I went back to the library I didn't find anything I really wanted to read.

I did a quick google search on mormon history and found this site. After finding this site there weren't enough hours in the day to read all of the articles and the links from this site. I couldn't believe how much of the history of the church had been completely white washed away.

Even though I had been out of the morg for over 20 years I never realized how much of a psychologic hold it still had on me. I was reading on the short topic board about the new names given in the temple and kept laughing out loud about some of the posts. My wife a nevermo asked what was so funny. So I told her her I was reading. She then asked me so what was your temple name. I lied to her and said I couldn't remember.

All of sudden nothing was funny and I started getting really bothered. I went outside and thought why did I just lie to my wife about something that shouldn't bother me. I had no problem talking about the temple with insiders, but always felt uncomfortable talking about the temple with nonmo's. I finally got up the courage to go tell my wife that my temle name was abinidai.

It really bothered me for several days that I was so uncomfortable about telling me wife my temple name. Then I read Mary Ann Benson's story about how she was so uncomfortable about a Steve's talk he was going to give about the temple at a conference. She said she reenacted the whole temple ceremony with a close friend and how liberated she felt. I quickly did the same thing with my wife. I didn't have in props or the stupid temple clothes, but I did my best to recite everthing I could remember and relate how freaked out I was after going throug the temple the first time. The experience of reenacting the temple ceremony was one of the most liberating things I've ever done.

I can't thank all you people on this board enough. I really enjoy reading all of the great stories that are here on this board, and how much it has helped me to free my mind of most the clutter and guilt that we get from growing up in the morg.


Subject: I FINALLY learned how to use the internet a few years ago.
Date: Oct 23 13:04
Author: JBug

[I'm old and new things are hard]

I could hardly wait to research the Mormon church! I had been inactive for a long time and was HOPING it wasn't true, but I still believed. I found this place real fast, on the search thingy.

I also spent a lot of time reading here! I think I read every one of the short topics! It was 6 months before I got up the nerve to post anything---and months after that before I started a thread. [still don't do it a lot]

This place is great! Thanks to this and one other site, I found the information I had been looking for for years and I finally once and for all decided the LDS cult is a big fat con job full of hogwash. It was a big relief to finally lose the guilt!


Subject: Re: How did YOU find RFM?
Date: Oct 23 13:10
Author: LuckySweetheart

In late 2001 I was doing research on fraternity rituals for a fraternity I was considering joining.

One thing led to another thing, and I found the Pandora's Box of lds-related hidden secrets. Among the fray was this website.

I had been inactive for many years, but that was the last straw. I resigned in late 2002.


Subject: I googled 'frustrated Mormons' , and the rest is history. nt


Subject: I had just returned from my 25th High School Reunion
Date: Oct 23 13:21
Author: Moira

I saw an exboyfriend who had dumped me years ago when he was getting ready for a mission and I was becoming inactive. At the reunion in 1997 and with phonecalls after, he put the full court press on me to come back to church. (As recently as 3 months ago, he asked me to meet him "on the other side"). I was so upset about it all, I googled "Mormon" and Eric's website popped up. I was living overseas in a very remote place at the time and the people on the site became my friends.



Subject: The YW president recommended a site for help with a lesson ...
Date: Oct 23 13:51
Author: Great Aunt Lucy

I forgot the name of it and just googled something about lds lesson helps. This site came up in the list. At first I was reluctant to look further, but my curiosity had been aroused.

To my amazement I discovered that the doubts I'd brushed aside years before were well founded after all. I remember just reading article after article. There was so much to take in.


Subject: I read about it in "Mormon America," by R & J Ostling. nt


Subject: That's how I found it, too.
Date: Oct 24 14:12
Author: JoAnn

That book was a huge eye-opener for me.

Once I found RfM and realized I wasn't alone in feeling that there were some seriously weird things about the Morg, the EXIT sign lit up for me.


Subject: About 2 years ago....
Date: Oct 23 14:56
Author: CmftrblyNum

I became a Jackmormon at about 17 while in High School, not so much because I disagreed with doctrine, but more because I thought church was lame and I was much more interested in partying. Deep down I always figured it was true and I'd go back someday.

A coworker of mine had mentioned to me that he was a Freemason. Having heard of it, but not knowing what it was I asked my trusty friend Google. One of the links that came up was similarities between the LDS Endowment ceremony and the Masonic initiation ritual. Being curious since I had never done anything but Dead Dunking as a youth, I clicked on it. Within about 5 lines of the ceremony (which I believe was on Richard Packham's site if I remember correctly) I instantly knew the entire church was BS and I was embarrassed imagining my parents, brother and sisters and everyone I loved dressed in goofy costumes and participating in such nonsense. After that, I started sucking up all the Mormon info I could get and eventually found RfM. Now, I definitely fight an addiction to the site. I lurk every day but rarely post.


Subject: after i left, i did a hymn search...and found this! n/t


Subject: Re: How did YOU find RFM?
Date: Oct 23 18:41
Author: Matt

One day, in 1998, I think, as I sat musing I thought: "There are some other people who are like me, who have quit Mormonism. I wonder if there is a website somewhere? What would people who used to be Mormons but aren't any longer, be called? Hmm. How about Ex-Mormons?"

So, I searched on Ex-Mormon and found RFM. I read all the exit stories that were there. Then I noticed the link to the bulletin board. I lurked for a while, then made a nervous, tentative post. It was a thread with Kymba posting in it, and someone -whose name escapes me, but who was a cool person and whose husband was a racing car driver.

I had found a home. And an exmo community/family.


Subject: I was researching church-state separation.
Date: Oct 23 19:10
Author: Stray Mutt

One link led to another, and here I am.

I already considered myself a former Mormon at the time.


Subject: I was doing a google search for the book, The God-Makers...
Date: Oct 23 19:13
Author: Texas girl

and stumbled across this site. I had just decided to start researching the church, and my aunt suggested that I read this book. That google search sure opened up Pandora's Box for me! Pored over this site for hours that first day!


Subject: I Googled "Mormon, Money" and guess what ...
Date: Oct 23 19:15
Author: Out A There

In Elder's Quorum someone said that the Mormon Church had more money than the Catholic Church, I didn't believe it and decided to Google search the words Mormon and Money.

That search quickly took me to "The Great Mormon Money Machine" in the "Short Topics" section of RFM! I couldn't believe what I was reading! Where did this come from?

I read more Short Topics, then the Bio. section and I was hooked. That was probably three years ago. I have been inactive for the last two now!


Subject: A fabulous twist of fate...
Date: Oct 23 19:25
Author: I'm Saucie and you're not

I was doing an online geneology search and BAM !!!! Here it was in glorious stark reality.... THE TRUTH. Yay !!!
I should have marked the date and raised a Jager Bomb to it every year after that to commerate and celebrate properly!!!


Subject: My TBM Dad directed me here...
Date: Oct 23 19:59
Author: Em

Well, not exactly, but in an ironic kind of way he did. He told me that I needed to get serious about getting together a food storage. Me, being the good TBM that I was, and totally confident in his priesthood inspired guidance, got to work on the assignment. I started by googling 'food storage' (to help me get some ideas of how to start) and stumbled across the RFM website-- and the rest is history.

It was all very accidental and innocent, but I knew by the first day that TSCC was a bunch of BS.


Subject: Re: How did YOU find RFM?
Date: Oct 23 20:53
Author: forestpal

I was a BIC Mormon, and from babyhood I didn't feel right about some of the teachings and examples in the church. My older brother abused me, and yet my parents didn't stop him, or help me, or acknowledge something was wrong with my brother. Our whole family sat perfectly dressed, in a row, every Sunday without fail, but I had severe stomach pains almost every night, and was terribly skinny. I couldn't wait to get away, and BYU was the only place I could go. After graduation, I got married in a CREEPY temple ceremony to an RM who beat me. I divorced him quickly, and escaped to another town, met and married another TBM, and had children with him.

I was always a good faithful Mormon, but my TBM inlaws said our children, fathered by their son, were sealed to my temple ex-husband, as his property in the hereafter. I was still sealed to him, with two other temple wives of his, and I kept trying, year after year, to get a temple divorce.

I started searching for other ways of getting a temple divorce, and what the rules were--they kept changing on me. I had gotten a "temple clearance," but now the Bishops and Stake Presidents were saying there was no record of my ever having that, and there was no such thing, etc. Can anyone relate to the confusion I felt?

When I Googled, I found RFM, I read lots of similar experiences other people had with trying to get a temple divorce, (including incidents of spousal abuse) and things seemed hopeless. I still had a dozen questions, so asked them in my own thread, not expecting any replies, because I was a stranger. I didn't have a soul I could talk to about this (still can't).

I went away for the weekend, and when I returned, I checked back onto the RFM board. I was so surprised! You people were all so nice! You answered my questions, included links to websites, told me about your own experiences, encouraged me, and sympathized with me. I sat there in front of the computer and cried like a baby, I was so overwhealmed--really!

Besides the emotional support, I had some straight answers, at last, after 30 years!

I dried my tears, and plunged headlong into all the doctrinal and historical information I could find--didn't sleep that first night--non-stop, for about 3 weeks. One morning, I ran out into my back yard, laughing, "I KNEW it couldn't be true!" I felt such relief, then anger, then joy. All my suffering (and my children's suffering) had taken place IN the church, so getting out was a happy event for all of us.

One week ago, I received my Greg Dodge letter confirming my resignation, which is as good as a temple divorce. Well, it is better!

I can never thank RFM enough. >^..^<


Subject: I looked for it
Date: Oct 23 21:12
Author: jacyn

Almost exactly one year ago, I googled something -- I think it was along the lines of "exmormon support groups" -- because I was looking for support and answers. Once I found it, I spent hours and hours reading all of the materials. I went crazy ordering books online from everywhere. I think I posted something to this board on the second day. I was starving for someone to talk to about my failing faith.


Subject: I was over at Mormon Mania: Yahoo
Date: Oct 23 21:17
Author: Mormon Observer

They were okay, but too paranoid for me. There were hints of others who were disatisfied with the Church. My TBM daugher who'd left let me know about this board. I had alread decided I did not want to participate in the church anymore due to the criminal activities of the Apostles that had come across my desk at work.

I lurked reading the posts. Then I went on my 'sabatical' leave from the church. I kept reading everything from here and Packham, and McCue and Mormon Curtain. My computer finally came out of the shop. That's when I jumped into the pond and posted!

It is wonderful to know and read the posts. It saves a lot of time when you see the mind screws and other pits pointed out by those who have been there.

I wasn't even surprised when my former Bishop nearly blew a gasket when I told him my reasons for not being at church! "Those documents are forged and false!" He hadn't seen the legal documents exposing the fraud of the apostles (Hinckley and company) that I had copies of, but he was sure they were 'false'. I laughed! Laughed! and then sweetly said, "I am not surprised you don't believe me and think they are false, but I have had lots of experience with legal documents (two divorces and a couple other property court battles I won)and IT IS OKAY WITH ME THAT YOU DON'T AGREE WITH ME!" I wasn't offended or frightened. It sure puzzled him. Yet my strength of position had come from this board!

Now with further light and knowledge (Grant Palmer and etc) I will NEVER go back to the Church because it is only a large corporation pretending to be a church!


Subject: Googled "recovery" "mormon" and surprise!
Date: Oct 23 21:20
Author: Tiphanie

I knew I'd been spiritually abused... I didn't realize I'd been religiously abused by the moremon CULT. It took me about 4 or 5 years of slowly accepting more and more of the truth before I could admit the Morg is a CULT, but now I feel absolutely, delightfully FREE whenever I say that.

Cult cult cult cult CULT!!

Thank you Eric, Susan I/S and everyone for making this site a safe place for learning the truth and becoming FREE! :)


Subject: I don't recall exactly. At the time I found this board, I was reading web sites non-stop and
Date: Oct 23 21:21
Author: SusieQ#1

ended up here not long after it started up.
I like reading the Short Subjects and seeing lots of the posters from years ago!


Subject: Simon Southerton's book referenced this site
Date: Oct 23 21:40
Author: Emma'sFlamingSword

and bingo. Well actually not bingo it took me a few more years to get out of the church emotionally.

This site is a little too much 'meat' at first. I did a lot of lurking and stayed mostly on the biographies at first.


Subject: Thanks for all the replies.
Date: Oct 23 22:40
Author: Charley

It sounds like Jon Krakauer and google are going to hell. It's been very interesting reading everybody's replies and what do you know but all of my favorite RFMers replied. And some new folks I've not seen before or who got buried in the speed of this site.

Thank you Eric, Susan I.S., CZ and Deaf Guy if you're still around. Just from reading all these posts I can see all the good you've done. You should be very proud.


Subject: I saw a pillar of light exactly over my head....
Date: Oct 23 23:00
Author: BrerRabbit

When the light rested upon me I saw two Personages, whose brightness and glory defy all description. . . . One of them spake unto me, calling me by name and said, pointing to his laptop 'This is My Beloved Web Site. Now spend 18 hours a day for the next 3 years pouring over every post. Don't eat or sleep, although you can drink.'

Actually, I think the way it happened was that I was bored at the office and googled 'Mormon Humor'. So I owe a lot to Cricket. :-)


Subject: Simon Southerton's book on Lamanite Israeli DNA (or lack there of).N/T


Subject: Big Brother was watching out for me...
Date: Oct 23 23:50
Author: castaway

the rest is history.


Subject: Googling... the mishies pissed me off...
Date: Oct 23 23:58
Author: FreeRose

I left 25 years ago, but the mishies approached my sister and I outside of her building and were VERY aggressive and confrontational. They said the "No Soliciting" sign we were standing underneath did not pertain to them as they were "proselytizing". LOL! I never remembered mishies being rude and aggressive when I was a member. I came home and Googled aggressive misionaries or something similar and found this site. Very interesting that the reasons I left years ago are the same reasons members are leaving in droves now, thanks to the Net! TSCC is going to regret pushing people so hard. People are fed up and are starting to think for themselves!! Good job, RfM!!



Subject: I belonged to a fan club for the movie Latter Days
Date: Oct 24 00:00
Author: Hervey Willets

and was writing a fan fic. Being a "gentile" out in the "mission field", I needed to research missionary life. I came across the short stories section first, with all the wonderful accounts of what being a mishie is really like. I ventured onto the message board, and found a fun, quirky group of people. I posted rarely at first, just on topics on which I could respond intelligently (hieratic script, being gay, general life experiences) and I somehow got hooked.


Subject: A Catholic friend...
Date: Oct 24 09:40
Author: toto

...told me about it. He'd been researching Mormonism online when he moved to SLC about twelve years ago and found this site. That's about the time I left the morg.

I remember posts by Stray Mutt were incredibly helpful. I also introduced RfM to my dear friend, fly. After I stopped posting on the board, she would keep me up-to-date on subjects because she became more of a regular here than I've ever been.

The board has changed so much in volume, tone, and rules since it's beginning. I returned to RfM about three or so years ago when I needed help with a morg dilemma in the family and received such wise advice and encouragement from posters.

Thanks to all the close friends I've met here; online and in person. And thanks for being here RfM!



Subject: Re: How did YOU find RFM?
Date: Oct 24 10:37
Author: Gman

From Farms/Fair site.


Subject: I wanted to be a better "member missionary"
Date: Oct 24 10:43
Author: closet questioner

I was an RM and wanted to continue to bring others into the church. But I realized that I had real difficulty convincingly sharing the "gospel" with other people because of my own questions and doubts. I determined that to be effective, I had to resolve my own issues. On the assumption that the church was true, and after maybe 8 months of early morning sincere prayer (sometimes the pleading laste 45 minutes or so) and scripture study without much success, I turned to the internet hoping others had answers to my questions.

At some point early in my internet research I came across RFM. Although I felt guilty and sinful for doing so, I read through many of the stories and was amazed at the experiences that others had similar to mine. Eventually, I realized there were no real answers to the problems.


Subject: I was Googling the Mason's ceremony which I had
Date: Oct 24 10:47
Author: Searcher68

heard was similar to the temple. When I was on my mission and was in Chico, California, we used to visit with a recent convert who was also a Mason. He made a comment that stayed with me and finally, after almost 30 years, made me act. He said that when he went to the (mormon) temple for the first time he was a bit disappointed because we didn't learn anything he didn't already know. He said he had seem most of it already because he was a Mason. Being a TBM sheep, I discounted it at the time but later other things started bothering me about the church so a few years ago I thought I would find out about the Mason's ceremony. While Googling, I came across and this site and my life has been much better ever since.


Subject: this is hilarious
Date: Oct 24 14:16
Author: dimmesdale

I was a seminary teacher, and I went to the seminary conference at BYU where one of the "presenters" mentioned it in passing--as one of those anti-mormon sites.


Subject: What was there before Google?
Date: Oct 24 20:52
Author: Vee

I don't remember how I navigated the net back before the likes of Google. All I remember is typing in the words "Mormon," I think - I'd been reading Sunstone articles on history issues not long before that - and Eric's page came up. It was just so electrifying to find other people who felt the same. I've still never had that IRL.

Anyway, I didn't post for a long time. Seems like the page was very nearly all men back then, all of whom knew so much more than I do/did about the church, and it was a one-page format that began crashing a lot as web traffic continued to grow. I'll never forget the excitement of finding it that first time, though. Even though I was just lurking at first, my soul was nourished more in one night online at Eric's page than it ever had been at church. RfM validated these feelings for the first time, I suppose. I knew I was right about the origins of the church and JS's character, but it was such a lonely time when I felt surrounded by Mormons in my life who didn't want to know anything about the issues and only wanted me to pray my way back in. Validation is a powerful thing. It's made me stronger in being able to be myself with the Mo relatives.

Thanks to Eric K and his moderators over the years. It's a wonderful thing that you were there to blaze the trail and show that there's actually a very good and more emotionally healthy life worth living outside the church.


Recovery from Mormonism - The Mormon Church

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