Subject: Anyone else sit through ward council meetings and think, "This is a bunch of gossip."
Date: May 19, 2010
Author: Straight&NarrowPath

I think some members would be offended if they knew their personal problems (marriage, financial, etc.) were talked about openly in ward council. My experience was that it had more of a feeling of gossip than sincerely trying to help.

Anyone else feel that LDS "leadership meetings" were filled with gossip?


Subject: Always, without question, Ward Council Mtg's, Welfare Mtgs....
Date: May 19 13:53
Author: Steven

PEC [Priesthood executive council] Mtg's, etc, are a total gossip fest. In my opinion, morgbots feel a sense of status and empowerment over each other when they are allowed to discuss and pontificate over the "needs" of their fellow "needy" ward members. If ward members only knew. I always hated those meetings with every fiber of my being. (lol.. pardon the morgbot vernacular). Those long boring meetings accomplish nothing but sucking the emotional life out of most normal people.


Subject: Re: Anyone else sit through ward council meetings and think, "This is a bunch of gossip."
Date: May 19 13:55
Author: smeagol

here we go. This is currently a big struggle for me.

I attend these and other similar meetings each week. I'm to the point where I sit with my laptop and read so I don't have to listen to the names associated with problems. Even the youth in BYC [bishops youth council] meetings are exposed to names. In essence, these meetings are a way for everyone to know what is going on with everyone else under the disguise of communal love.

The words are, "This is sensitive information so everything I'm about to say stays in this room." Yeah right. The system is messed up. We should not be worrying about other people's personal lives.

The worst is this new Ward Planning Guide - anyone else do these? You have to list names and what their issue is and what you plan to do to fix it. Usually related to whether or not they are attending.

It will be funny when my name starts to appear and I'm the one sitting in the meeting. I actually look forward to it in a way.


Subject: Ward planning guide?
Date: May 19 16:02
Author: govinda

Can you tell us more? I'm sure that I am on their list as I am being love bombed a lot lately. Is there now an increased focus on inactives? What is this planning guide?

I used to attend bishopric, PEC, Ward Council and Welfare as I recall. What a waste of time. Total gossip fest. Hated every second of it. One time the RS prez accidently badmouthed my wife not realizing I was in the same room. I looked at her with daggers and you could feel the tension in the air as the bishop quickly changed the subject.

I went a few years without being in the inner circle and then was called back in as exec sec. I was amazed at how nothing really changes. Same issues, same discussions, same lame ideas. The only thing that changed was the names. Now I'm sure I am at the top of their list of people to talk about.


Subject: Re: Ward planning guide?
Date: May 19 19:15
Author: smeagol

Tell me how to post a document and I will post a sample Ward Planning Guide.

Maybe these are unique to our stake?


Subject: Re: Anyone else sit through ward council meetings and think, "This is a bunch of gossip." ,,,,, YEP
Date: May 19 13:57
Author: SusieQ#1

And, I told the bishop that it was disgusting. How would he like his family talked about like they do in Ward Council?
He agreed! I only attended a few times. Then I refused and told him I would not participate in another gossip session!!!


Subject: I'm a girl so I never attended one.
Date: May 19 14:05
Author: Lillium

But I worked for a guy who was in the bishopric, so I knew all the gossip. Everyone who worked for him was mormon in some way (TBM, jack, cafeteria, etc.) so I guess he felt comfortable sitting there with us gathered around, telling us all the dirt.


Subject: Re: I'm a girl so I never attended one. -- I'm a girl also, but Ward Council includes the female
Date: May 19 14:26
Author: SusieQ#1

auxiliaries: Primary, RS. and YW presidencies, or their representatives.


Subject: Yep!
Date: May 19 14:20
Author: TGC

Completely agree. After every PEC/Bishopric meeting, I'd go home and complain to my wife. I told her it was absolutely ridiculous the personal things brought up in these meetings.

When I stopped going to church, I told my bishop that I don't want my name being brought up in PEC/Bishopric meetings. I know first hand the gossip that goes on in these stupid meetings. Very very sad. 99% of the members have no idea the kind of discussions taking place behind their backs.


Subject: Re: Yep!
Date: May 19 15:45
Author: drilldoc

I'm sure my name's been brought up. We did what they called ward correlation meeting. Sounds like a similar thing. I thought they were just trying to communicate stuff in the ward so people would be taken care of. But now that you mention it, it was kind of creepy talking about something that someone said to you in confidence.


Subject: I remember my dad complaining about this way back
Date: May 19 15:52
Author: cl2

in the 1960s when he was a ward clerk. He hated it. He said they never really accomplished anything.


Subject: YES
Date: May 19 19:06
Author: not your sister

In my old ward, I was asked to fill in for the YW President one time. Boy was I shocked about what I found out there. I'm a jerk, so I kinda liked it. But really, that is horrible. I felt a little guilty knowing all that stuff about everyone.

In the ward we have been in most recently, I'm sure we've been talked about, but I know it wasn't about how to reactivate us. I told my girlfriend, the former YW pres and wife to a bishopric member, all about our family's disbelief and how we'll never be back. People are friendly, and there was only one weirdo that love bombs us, but I don't think it was assigned.


Subject: hey not your sister
Date: May 19 21:45
Author: onelostsoul

What part of the country are you in? I am friends with a past YW pres and wife to a bishopric member now.. she just had a baby... any connection =)?


Subject: Yes, first time I was shocked at the remarks made in there.
Date: May 19 19:09
Author: tofino

2nd time was the same way. I had to laugh a little inside at how much stuff I was made aware of that I didn't know before.


Subject: In my experience, this isn't limited to ward council meeting
Date: May 19 23:53
Author: CA girl

I went to a Scout planning meeting several months ago and the same sort of thing went on, crying crocodile tears for kids who don't attend scouts regularly, calling them lost boys, dissing divorced parents who, because of custody arrangements, can't get the kid to scouts regularly and bad mouthing a couple in the ward whose kids are very musical and therefore the kids don't want to waste their time in the scouting program so (horrors) the parents actually support what the kids want and let them skip scout meetings. Some people on the committee seemed a little shocked that such bad parents who respected their kids choices actually existed. I've had similar experiences in Primary presidency meetings as well, where the President, who was actually a nice lady, went on and on about how sad it was what inactives were doing to their children i.e. depriving them of the gospel. I've been on committees for Visiting Teaching where everyone's dirty laundry was aired for the committees viewing pleasure under the guise of "helping" and assigning the appropriate VT i.e. someone who would be most effective in sorting out the "screwed up" person. They actually say things like "who knows her best and could be assigned to be her friend and work with her?"

So believe me, this same behavior is replicated on every leadership level imaginable. Ward council may have the best and most personal dirt, but those leaders leave and take the stuff pertinent to their auxilary and tell those under them that "need to know."


Subject: Yes, and I thought this as a teenage girl, so that should really tell you something. n/t


Subject: I was in two RS presidencies during my last few years in
Date: May 20 02:17
Author: imaworkinonit

the church, before they finally gave me my last calling . . . in the nursery.

I hated knowing people's personal problems. It absolutely felt wrong, but I never spoke up an put a stop to it. How I wish I could go back and say "why is it any of our business if the Jones' marriage is on the rocks?" "How about if we talk about something WE have some control over and then wrap up this unending meeting?"

I DO think it makes some people feel important to be "in the know" when it comes to other people's business. Personally, I don't WANT to know unless someone tells me themselves. Sometimes knowing is a burden I don't want to carry.