My Journey Through The Pattern


If you have read and followed my articles from the beginning, then this one will be, hopefully, reasonably clear; that is, it will be clear if I have been successful in trying to state an illogical pattern, logically. The article on the marriage of Joseph and Emma, under "How the Pattern Translates into Marriage and Family Relationships," deals directly with my own experience; my marriage and church life was a reflection of, and a prototype of their marriage (as were other posts on this site). I will be summarizing points made in that article, in order to keep this one down to a reasonable size. I attempted to show how Joseph's dual personality followed The Pattern in his marriage. Previous to that, I showed how that same Pattern is being used today in other LDS church relationships. I used passages from the Book of Mormon, Jacob 2:24-31 (Stage 2 and 3. Agreement/Ambiguity), and the Doctrine and Covenants, Sec. 132:38 (Stage 4. Double-Bind/Reversal), as examples of his contradictory mind in his dealings with Emma. These contradictions are still in these canonized writings ... in current, authorized publications ... which are the official repositories of "values" upon which all Mormons are commanded to base their lives.

They contain commandments that are in direct conflict, one with the other. If you choose one, you disobey the other; if you obey the other, you disobey the first. It is the original Double-Bind; no matter which you choose, you are damned, plus, it is impossible to live both commandments at the same time. Both commandments come from the same person; they are reflections of the Binder's contradictory, "dual" mind ... the two combatants are both within his own brain, but denied by projection. As the Binder, he projects his personal conflict outside himself to others. The others, Bound to him, "accept" his projections, through fraud or force, and then aid and/or fight his battles for him (Stage 5, Obedience), therefore, without realizing it they become accessories after the fact to his fraud. The Binder then accuses the Bound of having "chosen," without any input, or agreement on his part; he has "disappeared," and the Bound becomes the scapegoat. (Stage 6, "Not I, but you, are guilty...," or "You chose..., not I.")

Joseph Smith's Double-Bind "doctrine" follows The Pattern which he used to "justify" his own uncontrolled sexual libido, which, in turn, initiated his quest to control the libido of others ... of men, as well as women, through the idea that "there is safety in numbers." As the "Shepherd/Wolf," he sought to have one wife faithful to him, as his Elect Lady (by fraud, Stage 5), and at the same time, he took other women in temporary liaisons (by psychological force, Stage 6). He made this dual arrangement into a "doctrine" for all male priesthood members, thus making them accessories after the fact, supporting his stance on sex, also initiated by fraud and force. This new "doctrine" was, in effect, a "justification" for adultery ... "justified" by the use of the double-bind. Mormonism still has this double-bind/double-standard, operating subconsciously in the individual minds of its members today, through its canonized "scriptures." However, only the "White" passages of one wife per husband, in the Book of Mormon, (Jacob 2:27), are advertised. Sec. 132:4 of the Doctrine and Covenants which commands many wives (as a "new and everlasting covenant" for all) is suppressed today by ellipsis and silence (Black is "White," Stage 7). The Book of Mormon was written by Joseph the "Shepherd;" the Doctrine and Covenants was written by Joseph, the "Wolf," the author of this "new and everlasting covenant."

This dual personality of Joseph, the Binder, established the "justification" of the double-standard, which members of his church have unknowingly inherited. When Joseph was the "Wolf," he was "justified," he said, as being only "a man," ... only human. When he was the "Shepherd," he was "pure;" it was "God" who commanded, and forced him (the "Shepherd") to break the Law of Moses. As the "Wolf," he was sexually free; as the "Shepherd," with "God" behind him, he was "pure," (i.e., psychologically, but not physically, castrated). On the surface, if the dual Binder obeys either one, he is guilty of disobeying the other; he would be caught in his own double-bind. However, with the double-standard, he "justifies" both. When he is the "Wolf," he claims to be "human." When he is the "Shepherd," he is "spiritual" by claiming sanctioned immunity from "God." On the other hand, the Bound is considered "carnal" to his "humanity," and "non-human" to his "spirituality" ... (a projection of himself in both cases) ... the Bound is never allowed to be equal to the Binder in what he claims for himself (and which he had first stolen from them). This creates in him a strutting arrogance, a fraudulent posture of superiority ... the conqueror.

I charge Mormonism of being the cause of the very things it condemns. As a church, they condemn adultery, and the sexual act in general. In practice, what they say, is the opposite of what they do, i.e., the cause is blaming its own results. Next, Mormonism condemns the reasoning brain as "evil," a projection of their use of The Pattern, which causes the brain to be "evil." Then, the "cure" for both "evils" is more indoctrination of the very same contradictory scriptures that are creating the "evils" Mormonism condemns!

Sex, and reason, are the two greatest enemies of Mormonism. Mormonism controls both.

I charge Mormonism for destroying the possibilities, and the actual killing of the very values they ostensibly profess to love, and advertise, ... love and understanding in marriage and family relationships. I cannot blame my husband, or myself, for the failure of our marriage. We were both caught in the drama of The Pattern, as Binder and Bound, playing for real, unreal roles assigned to us in Mormonism. It is not unlike an actor playing the part of Othello night after night, then, eventually, believing that he IS Othello, strangling, in reality, the actress-wife he "loves."

Next Page: My Awakening - The Painting

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