Stage 6 Accusation - Demonized - Guilt/Shame
Accusation and Demonization
Prologue to Stage 6
If Stage 5 was Praise for Obedience causing Euphoria, Stage 6 is the Accusative stage of being Dis-Obedient, causing Shame. The "hook" for Stage 5 was the label "Good;" in Stage 6 the "hook" has the label "Evil". These are the two faces of the Binder, the Guardian and the Enforcer, the "Yes" personality and the "No" ("but") personality. The effect is that we, as members of the church, become emotionally battered "children;" we can never totally be "Good" because of the "But," and we are continually "Evil" because it is "Not the Binder who is guilty; but, we who are guilty." This is the Body Politic that has only One Mind; the individual mind is the enemy. Either you are Obedient and "Good," or you are Dis-Obedient and "Evil."
However, you are not allowed to be totally either! If you were totally "Good" you couldn't be "Saved;" if you were totally "Evil," you would be an outcast and not a contributor to the "up-building of the Kingdom" of the Binder. In the latter case, however, you have a "second chance," you can repent, confess your "sins," be "forgiven" ... and "grateful." Members are, in reality, not meant to be totally "Good," nor totally "Evil," but, in-between ... never sure they are "Good" and worthy, and never really knowing for sure where to draw the line on "Evil;" the "Good" gets further and further away (you will never know until the Judgment Day whether or not you've been good "enough;" and what is termed "Evil" keeps changing according to the needs of the Binder; the chains of "Evil" get shorter and shorter in order to keep the souls of the Bound closely chained to Him. It matters not what the changes are, as long as the Flock is "Facing One Way" ... towards the Binder, reflecting always His changing Mind. This is accepted because "His ways are not man's ways." This is believed because "man," as an individual thinker, no longer exists. The only hope of the Bound being Judged "Good" is to reflect the Mind of the Binder in all things, knowing that The Binder's ways are mysterious and that He holds the "Keys" that unlock the Knowledge of All Things. The thinking has already been done.
As a result, His Magnanimous, All-Knowing image as the Guardian is reinforced, and the Flock is again reassured of His Great Goodness ... and Power.
Stage 6 is closely associated with Stage 3 in that the agreement to "aid" the Contractor in just one instance (His "Yes, But") is now claimed by Him (in Stage 6) as a contract you initiated in which you "chose" to do all the work by yourself. This is the "Not I, but you," (have "chosen" and are "guilty"). It is then your honor that is at stake, not His. This new "hook," like the others, deepens and compounds the unearned guilt of the Bound; it also deepens the fear that the Bound person feels towards the Enforcer/Guardian. This is a "flip-flop" from the Guardian image, or, as I call it, the "Zag" of "Zig-Zag." These two stages could also be called by other appellations: such as, "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde:" The Double-Standard: the Dual Personality, or, as One entity, The Thief.
The Binder in this stage claims all of the good characteristics of the Bound and conversely projects onto the Bound all of His negative characteristics; more "Guilt" is applied to the Bound through this projection. The Bound is accused of not being "valiant" to "commitments," "covenants" and "oaths" made to the Binder; extreme penalties and punishments are predicted for Dis-Obedience. These are all precipitated in consequence of Stage 5.
In Stage 5, the Bound has been Obedient, worked hard, reflected the mind of the Binder, and received Praise for complete dedication. The Euphoria of being one of the Elite is there, but the neglected reality of excessive use of the human energy of the body begins to take its toll; there has been no time for the Self which needs nourishment ... it has been forgotten. The Binder does not see the Bound as being human ... the Bound must not be human ... to be human is facing the other way. However, the body and brain that is being denied can reach the breaking point; doubts arise along with complaints. They are expressed ... and the next stage of the Enforcer begins.
Accusation: Projection - Guilt/Shame - Threats and Intimidation - Fear - Demonization
Reversal: "Not I, but you are guilty." - Zig-Zag
Experiences by Women
Zig: Obedience - Sacrifice ... of time, work, money, teaching, ... - Dehumanized
"And I was serious ... about God and religion, which of course meant the LDS church. Every piddly little babysitting or lawn-care chore I did and got paid for, you'd better believe I took ten percent of that out and tithed it. At age 15 I taught Sunday School to 7-year-olds. I also went on a youth temple trip (when she lived in Detroit and the temple was in Washington DC). I prayed daily. I attended church meetings faithfully. I fasted every fast Sunday, and gave my heartfelt testimony ... I really relieved..."
Zag: Accusation - Shame - Demonized
(The prelude to this stage is listed in Stage 1 and Stage 2-3, Post #3.)
"I met my future husband one Sunday ... We dated (chastely, might I add!) for a year. We were married in the Washington D.C. temple. I was 18, he was 23. ... My husband was an exemplary holder of the Melchizidek priesthood. He was the kind of man who would roll out of bed at 4 am on a Monday morning in January to go to the hospital and give someone a blessing, then go on to work....Eight months after (the birth of her son) my husband was diagnosed with inoperable brain cancer. My husband's illness lasted about 3 and a half years altogether, and most of that time he was able to function normally in all respects. He held various positions in the ward, continued to work and pay a full tithe, etc. Late in the game when he became more disabled, he and I were treated atrociously by members of the ward. Sure, on Sunday mornings when we arrived at church, elders fell all over each other vying for the privilege of lifting his wheelchair out of the trunk, or lifting him out of the car and into it (an easy task which I needed no help with) but when it came to things which demanded just a wee bit more of them, it was a different story...
"For a while I had an arrangement with the RS that one of the sisters would watch my boys (in the meantime we had found time to have another son!) for one day each week. Mind you, this was during the last year of my husband's life when he was virtually helpless and I was his sole caregiver. One day each week, a different sister would arrive at my home in the morning ...to pick up my two kids ... This lasted about four weeks. At that time, the RS president came to my house. She said, haltingly, "I don't know how quite to say this, but... well, the sisters are coming to your house each week to pick up your sons, and they say when they arrive that your house is pretty messy...and then they return in the evening, it's still very untidy...and, well, frankly, some of the sisters are wondering how wisely you're using this time..." I could tell you how deeply I was hurt by this, but that would take forever and a day..." Post #3 See: Stage 1, 2-3. #3
(This kind of inhumane treatment is due to the dehumanization each member goes through in Stage 5. They lose their identities as human beings because in the New World Order they are to forget they once had a Self, or a brain that could think, or individual emotions; they now live only for admittance into the Celestial Kingdom, and for that privilege they must obey and work incessantly. They are no longer individuals. No one is supposed to get sick or stop working; this would be a sign of a lack of Faith. This leads to the "sacrifice" of all that you humanly have or own. The Flock reflects and repeats what the Binder has said to them, and through imitation they "do unto others" ... i.e., they treat (judge) others as they have been treated (judged). This means that the dual personality of the Binder is also played out by the members; what is said and what is done are two different things. In Stage 5, the Binder is the Guardian; he "says" he is the protector of widows and orphans. In Stage 6, He becomes the Accuser of the innocent and Demonizes them.
(This non-human mind-set has far reaching consequences. If I am not allowed to claim myself, not allowed to be human, then other members of the flock are not allowed to be human either. In this respect I become my "brother's keeper." That equates to "If I can't be human, you can't be human," and all that that entails. To be human, to be able to think, is to be the enemy of the Binder, and the Flock must all "face one way" ... away from those that are human. Therefore, to be human, is to be "evil."
(As the protector of widows and orphans He claims He is the Guardian of these unfortunate exceptions. As the Accuser, He does not recognize them; they have become human; they have human frailties; they must have sinned and and therefore brought it on themselves. They are no longer contributors to His Kingdom, because of Sin. To aid these "fallen" humans would be to "pamper" them, not help them. His Judgment is that they need more "character," in fact, they are "lazy;" they can get sympathy from others of their kind ... other "individuals." "I am not leaving them, they are leaving me!" "Not I, but they are guilty."
(At first, in the case above, the humane Words (a reflection of the Binder as Guardian) were translated into token actions. The elders would give unneeded token help to their "brother," but felt no compassion to give substantial practical help. The Relief Society "sisters" also gave token help to their "sister" (each helped with the children one day a week for 4 weeks) as the complete fulfillment of their creed. "Yes," our creed is still the same, "But," the Binder needs us more than you do." Mock sympathy at this point turns to accusations. The wife now has a character flaw; she is now labeled "lazy" because she cannot do all the things she was able to do before she became full-time care-giver to her dying husband. The children needed care too. What she needed, as a human being, was understanding and emotional support, as well as physical help. Instead, practical help was withdrawn, and accusation replaced sympathy and understanding. Being labeled "lazy" was a form of "demonization" ... as not being on the side of the Binder. Those not for the Binder are for Satan and are "evil." She and her husband and small children were no longer able to keep up with the marching Flock ... they were expendable. To be human is to be worthless ... unworthy.
(The consequence of the above is to set brother against brother, and sister against sister; men betraying men ... women betraying women. This betrayal of others is a two-edged sword. It breeds hidden anger, resentment, and even hatred towards the ones they profess to love and have denied, which is a projection of their own personal anger, resentment and hatred that they feel towards themselves at the loss they have suffered ... their own unwitting betrayal of themselves. This hardening of their hearts turns them back to face the Binder for reinforcement against themselves with even greater allegiance. Plus, the example of what happens to others when they show their humanness remains in the memory and fear becomes the incentive to follow the straight and narrow way of the Binder. The Bound then embrace even more their vanishing into the center of the Flock for "comfort;" the sick and the lame are the ones relegated to the fringes to manage for themselves their individual survival.
(The tragedy is that this transition happens so subtly and fraudulently that it can't be detected while it is happening. It is usually a crisis of some kind, or a sudden tragedy, that causes the sleeping Self to wake up.)
"Not I, but you."
"...finally, I just couldn't continue (to) pretend to believe things that I knew were unbiblical and untrue...It is extremely difficult to leave the Mormon Church. Many will ask you what sin you have committed to "lose your testimony." They will encourage you to ignore your doubts, and to push them to the back of your mind, in order to keep your testimony."
Accusation - Guilt/Shame - "Not I, but you."
"I called the bishop and told him I was not returning to church, but other members continue to call me or come to my home. .....their arguments and my attitude towards them:
Argument: Aren't you going to honour the covenant made with God to keep the Sabbath?"
"Well, I was not aware I made this covenant ....."
Post #16 See: Stage 1, 2-3, 4, 5. #16
(This is an extension of Stage 3 where "details" are left out and then later in stage 6 you are accused of having "chosen" them; therefore, you are "guilty" for not honoring a fraudulent contract.)
Guilt - Fear - Intimidation - Silence
"My husband and I left the church together but I had more fear and more guilt about leaving that was related to what I had been taught about my being less valiant in the pre-existence and because of a special blessing to have our daughter."
Post #22-1, # 37 See: Stages 1, 2-3, 4. #22-1, #37
Guilt - Fear - Threats - Silence
"Until a person leaves Mormonism, they have no idea how painful it can be. When I left Mormonism (the last and final time) I was filled with fear and guilt. I was angry at a huge religion that had taken so much of my time, energy and money for so many years. I wrote my letter asking to be removed from the records of the church and was asked to come to what I call an exit interview. Actually it was a summons to my excommunication. I asked ... "How can you excommunicate me when I already quit?"
"It is easy to ration the guilt out of a persons head, but difficult to get the fear out of your heart. Family can make it very difficult too. Mine has been pretty good, we just don't talk about it...."
"Not I, but you." - Accusation - Reversal
"And if something can't be explained away, members are told to rely on faith. "If we could explain everything then there would be no faith and without faith we couldn't be tested."
Post #30 See: Stage 5. #30
(This not only belongs to stage 5 (Obfuscation) but stage 6, as well. Instead of the church doctrine being questionable, the situation was reversed and the one who had faith and believed (with no results) was being "tested." "It is not the church that is being tested, it is you who is being tested." The problem disappeared through an emphasis on a misplaced accusation.)
"Not I, but you."
"Mormons are so well trained to view any problem they may have with the church as their fault, since it could not possibly be the church's, that it is difficult to ever step our of that self-blame cycle. "If I were just a better person, if I just had more faith, etc. etc. I would have peace, I would be happy, etc. etc." Stepping out of the mindset took me several years."
Post # 42 See: Stage 5. #42
(The Church's stance on this is that the Church is perfect ... the individual is not. The Church projects its own guilt to faithful, obedient, individual members... (who have been subjected to repeated double-binds creating unearned guilt) ... who are then blamed and disowned ("Not we, but you" are guilty) ... which invalidates the outward claim of their own positive, virtuous assessment of Mormonism, "By their fruits they shall be known.")
"Not I, but you."
"But the anxiety and panic whenever I would go to church would continue. I thought it must be God's way of telling me I didn't belong. The Bishop would insist that perhaps I wasn't "doing my part" by reading the Book of Mormon. That I should study it more diligently. God would give me comfort if I TRULY seeked it... I finally told the Bishop about my experience with the counselor in the Bishopric between the ages of 7 and 8. (Before and after baptism.) (He had sexually abused her.) He immediately got a cold look on his face and shut off completely. He told me right then that he was unable to help me any further and that he wouldn't be able to speak to me again until I got professional help."
Post #61 See: Stages 4, 5. #61
(When her problems didn't directly involve the church she was innocent, and for relieving her distress only the reading of the Book of Mormon was given as remedy. She was accused of not "doing her part," and of not TRULY seeking to be comforted, because if she really wanted comfort she would study more diligently. Each step of the way her unearned guilt was compounded. When he found out that her problem directly involved a counselor in the Bishopric it became, "Not the church, but you are mentally ill. You need psychiatric help." This is a classic reversal when the church is confronted with facts against its leaders. Instead of the counselor being advised to get psychiatric help, the victim, by silent consent, is no longer innocent but, judged "guilty" and labeled "mentally ill.")
Stage 6 as Experienced by Men
Demonized - Intimidation
"We officially left the church in March of 1994 through a letter requesting our names be removed from the church records. Since that time, in all too typical mind control like fashion, members of the church have avoided us. The Regional Representative even came up from Alabama and spoke out against us in a Sacrament meeting three weeks after we left and told the members that if they ever talk to us or if we give them materials, they are to contact their Bishop. Only an organization that had something to hide would be paranoid about the truth being revealed about itself. It is interesting that we would be considered such a threat. We had done nothing except request our names be removed from the records of the church. That was all. We learned that we really had few friends within Mormonism."
"The three bloody oaths that Mormons used to make in the temple and changed in 1990 ...appeared in the temple ceremony in the same order as in Masonry. In both cases (temple and Masonry) the first oath mentioned the slitting of the throat. The second spoke of the cutting open of the breast so that the heart and vitals could be removed and the third mentioned disembowelment. In all three cases the same penalties were demonstrated."
Post #1 See: Stage 5, #1
Accusations - Threats - Intimidation - Invasion of Privacy
"I called the local bishop and asked him to forward a letter to Salt Lake City, Utah. In that letter I stated that I wanted my name removed from the records of the Church. He sounded very distressed...He asked me if I had sinned against the Church, and, if I had, that I must go through a bishop's court. In this court I'd be judged as to whether I warranted excommunication, in other words, cut from the Church on their terms. I told him that I wouldn't attend any court because I no longer recognized his authority. ...About two weeks later, I was away for the evening. ... the bishop had come over ... He told (his wife) all the horrible things that would happen to me in the afterlife if I continued with this process....The only reason he was there was to get my phone number (it's unlisted). I clearly told him I wasn't to be contacted at home, and he disregarded my wishes.
"About two months passed without any progress. I received a phone call one evening from the bishop. ...asked me to meet with him ...I asked him what he wanted to talk to me about. ... He said the Lord had a calling for me. I told him I wasn't an active member and wasn't interested. He turned nasty then, mocking my voice and started pronouncing doom on my head if I refused the Lord. I hung up the phone."
Post #2 See: Stages 2-3, 4, 5. #2.
Intimidation - Invasion of Privacy
"I received a telephone call ...informing me that the Stake President wished to meet with me. I was curious why, but had no reason to suspect anything other than the standard reasons....I arrived at the Stake President's office ... I saw that my bishop was there with him ...(It was) suggested that we kneel for a prayer, which I agreed to....there was an envelope on his desk from the office of the Seventy in Salt Lake City. The Stake President opened the envelope, and said, "I have received some disturbing information from Elder Glen L. Pace, indicating that you have been publishing anti-Mormon material on the internet. Is this true?" I asked to see the material. Included in the packet were two esoteric essays on epistomology and historicity, neither of which was derogatory, nor which could be considered heretical or antithetical to the LDS Church. Also included was an article from the San Francisco Chronicle (an interview with Pres. Gordon B. Hinckley, along with the author's conclusions), and, the piece de resistance, a printout of a private email thread between myself and an ex-member, who is now part of a Fundamentalist group in Manti, Utah. Our correspondance, by the way, consisted of a bit of bantering, questioning, and the exchange of ideas. We parted company amicably several months ago.
"...When I asked how the email was obtained, the SP indicated that he didn't know, and that the request to investigate me had come from Elder Pace. At that point, I became absolutely livid. I felt extremely violated. To realize that not only was a private conversation being used against me, but that Church leaders would willingly comply with what was such an obvious ethical outrage has inspired a whole flood of emotions - anger, resentment, hurt, feelings of violation, and so on. I expressed my outrage at the SP and the Bishop, and, when asked about whether or not I believed in the Church, I responded that that was not the point - the point was that the information which would lead them to question my personal beliefs was obtained unethically, and was, therefore, not subject to discussion.
(Part of the letter he sent to his Bishop)... "The use of private, personal correspondence in a Church investigation is, as I clearly expressed, a violation of my privacy, and highly unethical. In addition, the accusation that I personally published 'anti-Mormon' material, ascribing to me an article published in the San Francisco Chronicle and comments on it by my correspondent is not only incorrect, but shows the extremes to which the totalitarian mentality which inspired this inquisition will go."
"The first time I personally ever had doubts was when I went to the temple for the first time in the l980s. The whole concept of the temple was a great thing I thought at the time. Here I could be sealed to my family forever. Here I could help others who never had a chance to receive "ordinances" necessary for salvation receive them. When I actually went through to get my own endowment however, I was horrified by what went on, but I didn't say anything--similar to many Mormons. Not only was there nothing spiritual about the experience, the way the endowment is presented smells of cultism. You are instructed early on in the endowment that you can withdrawal rather than go through the ceremony. Of course no one withdrawals because you have no idea what is going to happen, you have your family and friends all sitting around you, and nothing has happened yet to incline anyone to withdrawal. The next thing you know, you have taken a series of vows in unison with everyone else which hardly resemble anything you normally do in your LDS experience. Before 1990, you also had extreme penalties or "bloody oaths" associated with the violation of any of these vows."
(From stage 1 to stage 5 members are fed only "milk" ... Families are forever, Eternal marriage, Baptism for the Dead, etc. Once inside the temple and having experienced the preliminaries ... still with "milk" as your understanding, you are asked whether or not you want to proceed or withdraw ... with no explanation. You have no reason to object; you agree, en masse, with the rest of the Flock. When you find out that you were given "meat" for which you were not prepared, you find that you "chose" without having a choice. This is a repeat of stage 3; you thought you were agreeing with "milk" and that that was all there was to it. When this deception isn't seen, members will believe that they really chose, rather than that they had been manipulated.)
Fear - Shame - "Not I, but you."
"At this point, the reader may ask; "If you didn't believe in what you were doing, why didn't you quit?" ... As a Mormon, one is expected to do certain things, and is taught that doubts arise from Satan. I just figured that there was some inner failing on my part that kept me from seeing 'the emperor's new clothes", and that one day, if I was truly "worthy", I would be able to truly feel that which everyone around me seemed to feel. Until that time, my mind set was one of waiting."
Accusation - Guilt/Shame
(An Ecuador convert's child had died)... "We (the missionaries) did not see him for several weeks. When we finally did run into them (the parents), they avoided eye contact with us, and quickly begged off. A night or two later, this man walked up, staggering drunk, apologizing to us for his weakness and lack of faith. He felt that God was punishing him for his sins, and that he deserved the loss of his child. He went on to explain that he was once a member of the Otavalo Tribe of indians - they are a reasonably pure strain of ancient natives from Inca times. They are extremely clannish, and are not allowed to marry anyone outside of the tribe. He met and fell in love with his future wife, who was not of this tribe, when he was on a trip to another town. When he took her home to tell his family of their intentions, he was told that if he was to pursue this course, he would be completely cut off from his family, and it would be as if he had never been born. Following his heart, he ignored their threats, and married the woman. He related how their life had been difficult ever since because he did not do as he was told, and the death of his child was further proof of his sins. He clung to us, sobbing for our forgivness.
"My companion derided him for being drunk, and I walked away from the spectacle, unable to give any comfort to this man's grief, and angry with my companion for being such a hypocritical ass."
Post #19 See: Stages 2-3, 4, 5. #19
(This missionary companion had been dehumanized. The native Indian, the individual who was suffering as a human being, was not being recognized; he had not yet been dehumanized ... and that was not acceptable. Only his Dis-Obedience to the Binder took priority; he had gotten drunk in order to relieve his "non-existent" pain ... he had broken the taboo contained in the Word of Wisdom ... for that, he "deserved" to be shamed.
(This is an example of tribal mentality. He was an outcast for marrying outside his family's clan ... Mormonism does the same in that if you are not married in the temple, you will be excluded from your family's clan and tribe in this life and the next. This man had become an outcast from two primitive tribes.)
Accusation - Guilt/Shame - Demonized - An Outcast
"After three months in Sweden, I had tried to convince them (his parents) in tapes and in letters that I'd made a mistake going on a mission, and that I'd like to come home, but their startled reactions--emotional letters to the mission president imploring his patience, and tapes and letters to me entreating me to reconsider, caused me to abandon my pleas.) They--my father in particular--had pinned much of their hopes for eternal salvation as well as an improved earthly life for themselves and our family on my completing my mission.
"After he has taken his vows as a priest, how shall he dare to violate them? He knows that if he loses his faith on a mission--in other words, if he dares to make any inquiry into the authenticity of the mission which he is performing--he becomes a deserter from God in the very ranks of battle. He knows that he will be held forever in dishonor among his people; that he will be looked upon as one worse than dead; that he will ruin his own life and despoil his parents of all their eternal comfort and their hope in him." From, "Under the Prophet in Utah," Frank J. Cannon and Harvey J. O'Higgins.
Post #23 See: Stage 5. #23.
Fear - An Outcast
"It has been difficult to get past the idea that if I'm wrong (about leaving the church), my eternal salvation is at risk. It has been difficult as I have watched my friends walk away."
Accusation - Guilt/Shame - Demonized
"Mormon sex counselors. It was at this point that I started to realize that my Bishop was nothing more than an Elder of the Mormon Church taking his turn at being the Bishop. He didn't really seem to be in tune with God-relaying divine guidance to me through his priesthood as the church taught. The best advise the Bishop could give was to hum a hymn the next time I felt sexual temptation come my way. ...Hum a hymn? It certainly didn't work. ...I expected the meetings with my bishop to be compassionate and reassuring. It was more like an IRS audit. I prayed endlessly to be delivered from those temptations. I felt that there was something wrong with ME. I prayed to be healed of this "affliction". I beat my fists into my pillow in agony. I used every ounce of faith I could muster to overcome this problem. I was puzzled as to why I could not control these natural urges via faith. The church taught that the Holy Spirit could protect you from temptation. With the Holy Spirit and faith, you could caste off the "natural man". "Lead me not into temptation, but deliver me from evil" just didn't seem to be working with me. Of course, I blamed it on myself and thought there was something wrong with me. I thought I was perverted. I felt evil inside. I hated myself."
Post #28 See: Stages 1, 2-3, 4, 5. #28.
(The two most basic needs of the human species are sex and survival. Mormonism controls both. Members of the church are dehumanized as to their own needs. Sex is to be "used" in the "service" of the church, which means, "for procreation only" ... for the survival of the church. The more births inside the church, the faster its growth. Personal, honorable expression of sex is "evil." There is no personal ownership of one's body in Mormonism; it belongs to the Binder. Each step of The Pattern creates more guilt and hatred against the Self and the human body. Yet, members are commanded to "love thy neighbor, as thy self!" Where there is no love of Self, there can be no love for others! Mormonism kills what it professes to love. Again, this is the dual aspect of the Binder. What he "says" and what he "does" are two opposite things.)
Accusation - Guilt/Shame - Demonization
"I wrote down some thoughts about the Mormon perspective. This has helped me see why it is so difficult to leave the LDS Church. These points are all official doctrines of the Church and perspectives that are regularly ingrained into the membership:
(From his list:)
"Anything written by a former Mormon must be false or, at best, unreliable. Bottom line, you believe that former Mormons have evil intentions."
"Former Mormons leave the Church because of serious sin. Those who leave the Church in reality know that the Church is true and are liars just like the Book of Mormon anti-Christs."
Post #36 See Stage 5. #36.
Accusation - Guilt/Shame - "Not I, but you."
(After receiving his Patriarchal blessing and other blessings from his priesthood leaders, he believed in them and earnestly worked for the fulfillment of them. They did not materialize. When he questioned why, he was told ...) "It was a mistake to believe that God would use you in a special way, above the way he was using your priesthood leaders."
Post #38 See: Stages 2-3, 4, 5. #38.
(In the "milk" phase, members are told they are "special" and important. They look forward to the personal blessings given by the Priesthood leaders. They are also advised to pray for personal inspiration and guidance from the Lord. Each separate blessing implies that they are individuals, that what is promised to them is for them alone.
(After faithfully applying all that he was taught, the blessings didn't happen. For an explanation, he received a reversal of the facts; instead of the blessings being for him alone, he was now accused of trying to be "special," ... that he shouldn't expect to be used any differently than his leaders. In other words, he was being told that "he shouldn't expect to be the center of THE universe." In reality, the personal blessing was for him alone which he was to apply to HIS universe. The implication was that he was being "selfish," that he was intruding, in some way, on his leaders privileges. The fact of a personal, individual blessing was reversed to mean a "general" blessing, not a particular blessing. He was reduced from being an individual to a non-person within the general membership.
(What was said was not what was done; the deceived became the "perpetrator" ... "Not we, but you" are "evil." Again, on the surface, Mormonism wants you to believe that you are still an individual, but when their Words fail, the disappointed one is accused of self aggrandizement ... of even being above those who are above you ... self assertion becomes "aggression" against the members of the Flock; you became the exception, therefore, you are "guilty.")
Accusation - "Not I, but you."
"Today, I still attend church periodically with my wife and children. The bishop, my friends and my family know where I stand. I don't hide my beliefs from anyone who asks. I don't allow home teachers in my home because I'm tired of being treated like a sick patient by them."
(This is a common accusation, "It is you who are mentally ill, not us.")
Zig-Zag - Threats - Intimidation
Zig: "The bishop called me in for an interview just a few weeks ago. He told me he was inspired to call me as the gospel doctrine teacher for our ward. I declined and he of course asked me why. I repeated to him many of the questions that I have shared in this letter and he had no answers other than the standard cop outs that I refuse to accept, such as "God's ways are not man's ways" and "someday we will know the answers to these questions". He cautioned me from doing to much critical thinking and said we had to "live by faith alone". I'm sorry, but if there is a god and he created me with my brain, I expect that he would expect me to use it.
Zag: "He then went on to threaten me with a "disastorous event in my life or in the life of one of my family members that would bring me to my knees and back, weeping to the church" if I didn't repent and come back willingly ... From concern to the lowest form of manipulation."
The Dual Personality
"...A solicitation in the form of a brochure, for a donation to my Alma Mater (BYU) ...With the background of smiling, clean cut faces (all of course from the four corners of the earth - the Church is very politically correct these days), was a "We are better than the World" type of quote of a past Prophet that pretty well typifies another Mormon attitude. By sending money to BYU, the brochure suggested I would help fulfill a prophesy that the Lord's university would far surpass other institutions of higher learning in all things temporal. Clearly, in addition to the persecution complex, Mormonism thrives on its feeling of superiority. ...The claims of Mormonism are serious. It is not a live and let live religion. It is dogmatic in its claims. Mormonism keeps its hold by suggesting that the elect will discount the assaults on logic, and remain faithful. Obedience, worship, and sublimation of will are the earthly tests for eternal companionship with the Cosmic terrorist known as Eloheim. Mormons are fighting for your eternal soul, and in the process, they cause many people to experience a loss in the richness of the here and now of this life."
Post # 44 See: Stage 5. #44.
Guilt/Shame - Fear - Threats - Intimidation
(His decision to leave the mission field through the regular channels:) "The mission assistants ...tried to persuade me to stay. ...I couldn't explain all my doubts to them, but simply told them I didn't believe and I couldn't be a missionary any more. They didn't understand.
"We returned the next day because President Lee wanted to speak with me on the telephone. The missionaries that had been friendly and cajoling the day before were stone faced and tense. A definite wall had gone up between us. President Lee called ... He started with reminding me all that Jesus Christ had done for me, he lived and died for me -- and now I was turning my back on him, and kicking dust in his face. That's what he kept saying over and over -- that I was kicking dust in the face of Jesus Christ. That hurt -- but what could I say?
"First, he said he would come right down. Then he wanted me to wait until Wednesday so he could give me a priesthood blessing. He asked me why I was leaving -- and I told him. He didn't believe me -- told me that that was just and excuse. Wanted to know why. He couldn't accept that I just didn't believe in what I was doing. He said that Satan had led my father away, and through my father was leading me away.
"He told me that I was making things worse. He warned me against planning on repenting later, that I was almost throwing away my chance to go to the Celestial Kingdom and become a God.
....Events took a definite turn for the worse. He said "It sounds like your mind is already made up -- before you even talked to me." I said "I think it is President." He then said something that still rings in my head -- and will for a long time. "Elder Hudson, by the authority of the Melchezedic Priesthood, and in the name of Jesus Christ, I command you not to leave the mission. And if you do, something will happen." Stunned, I flatly said "What?" (pause) "I'm not telling you Elder, and I say it in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen." Click....
"My brain exploded and my soul cried out that this was wrong. This shouldn't be happening. The only thing this man of God had used to "persuade" me to stay were guilt and fear. I told the assistants what had happened, and they were stunned. They said I must have misunderstood."
"Not I, but you."
"My companion and I had been teaching a black man the lessons. He happened to be married to a white LDS woman. We had an extremely good relationship with him. He was "golden.
"Well, one day we showed up to teach John and the mood was quite different. He was laughing and joking as usual but things seemed strained. John said that he had spoken with his mother about the church and that she had told him something ridiculous about the church. He was laughing like he could not even believe what she had told him. Well after a little prodding he came out and said that his mother had informed him that the church had not allowed blacks to hold the priesthood until 1978. He burst out laughing.... Then he must have seen the serious expressions on our faces. He stopped and asked if that wasn't the most ridiculous thing we had ever heard. Then we dropped the bomb and told him that this was indeed true. He began to cry out of anger and rage. "When were you planning to mention this???" He asked. That phrase is still burned in my mind. Then he shouted "I will never join a church that has been racist!" and left his own home in tears and we were left sitting on his couch with his now hysterical wife.
"My companion seemed to simply write it off by saying that John did not have the spirit or was unwilling to soften his heart to the spirit. ...We had no plan to ever discuss this doctrine with him. I talked to my mission president and accepted his explanation. ...it was, something to do with "God's ways are not the ways of man" and that "after I died these thing would be made clear to me."
Post #58 See: Stage 2-3. #58.
"Not I, but you."
"Once I made my break with the church, I thought that I should not "hide away." On the contrary, I intended to meet with all of my Mormon friends, family and leaders ... answer their questions straightforwardly and bluntly. I wanted to accept their right to their own beliefs and would consider their views. I only hoped that in return my views might be treated with equal respect. This was quite naive on my part. All future communication "elevated" itself to an official level and became a sort of "one-way street." They felt free to bear their testimony ...but responded angrily when I would bear mine. They crossed my beliefs and I respected their difference of opinion. When I stated my beliefs then "I was trying to hurt people."
Post #70 See: Stage 4. #70.
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See Next: Stage 7
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Next Page: Stage 7 Punishment - Compulsion/Subjection - "Black is White"
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