I think it would be funny to plan things to say and questions to ask at a first temple experience....here's what I've come up with.

1- at the washing and annointing, say something like "this shield is a bit awkward and revealing. at least I'm not naked. how weird would that be?" the temple worker won't realize you know that fact and squirm.

2- when you're told not to reveal your new name, look confused and say "but everybody who came with me already knows cause they used the exact same name...."

3- ask why women have to veil themselves.

4- act upset and ask, "there's a true order of prayer? so I've been praying in false way?"

5- sit in the back and tell all the workers who want you front and center you're just fine. It will bug them you aren't following protocol.

6- WTF?

ladell Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> 6- WTF?


I wonder if anyone was brave enough to ask that....

7- when given the opportunity to bail out before making the covenants...be that one bold person. Raise your hand and take that opportunity to bail out.

EmmaWho Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> 7- when given the opportunity to bail out before
> making the covenants...be that one bold person.
> Raise your hand and take that opportunity to bail
> out.

or raise your hand and say "I must have missed it when they told us what the covenants are so I can decide if I can keep them before the door closes. Can you fill me in?"

Bravo. Yes, those conniving officiators need to tell us what we're promising while we still have a way out. Of course I'd love to go back in time and just walk out at any point I please.

8 Insist on using the wrong hand for handshakes.

9 Keep putting the robes and stuff on at the wrong time.

10 Say "Hallelujah" really loud whenever God shows up in the movie.

11 Volunteer to be in the prayer circle and "turn yourself around" every so often.

12 Get up half way through and go sit on the wrong side with the other gender.

13 Go down the halls saying, "I've been robbed! My locker was robbed!"

14 Act possessed by the person you are doing the work for (I aaammmm Piers Larrsoonnnnn who is deeeaaaaddd...).

15 Walk through the halls saying you heard a voice calling you.

16 Ask for popcorn with the temple clothes

17 Point to the floor and scream, "A mouse! A mouse!"

Dagny, yer hilarious!
I'm like all bowed over laughing, reading this -

This is too damned funny!

dagny Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> 8 Insist on using the wrong hand for handshakes.
>
> 9 Keep putting the robes and stuff on at the wrong
> time.
>
> 10 Say "Hallelujah" really loud whenever God shows
> up in the movie.
>
> 11 Volunteer to be in the prayer circle and "turn
> yourself around" every so often.
>
> 12 Get up half way through and go sit on the wrong
> side with the other gender.
>
> 13 Go down the halls saying, "I've been robbed! My
> locker was robbed!"
>
> 14 Act possessed by the person you are doing the
> work for (I aaammmm Piers Larrsoonnnnn who is
> deeeaaaaddd...).
>
> 15 Walk through the halls saying you heard a voice
> calling you.
>
> 16 Ask for popcorn with the temple clothes
>
> 17 Point to the floor and scream, "A mouse! A
> mouse!"

When you ask for popcorn and get a no, act offended and say "This isn't the church I know! There is always refreshments!"

got to be so funny

for real at my initiation first time I said I had to use the toilet at once ditched my temple stull and got dressed and headed out and down the rooad

my first and only time in the temple when I got to the imitation I went a bit crazy thought it was a sex cult or some weird thing and said I had to use the toilet got dressed and headed for the door. I was 25 yo and two men tried to stop me one of whom I knew the other not sure who he was but I kicked him in the shin when he grabbed me and ran out the door to my car and down the road

I hope you write more about this experience! It's sounds pretty intense.

Wait, what? sex cult? what made you think that? and they tried to keep you against your will?? Ive never been in the temple. I want to hear this.

The one I wish I could do, now in hindsight, is to proclaim very loudly in the CK room "Does anybody know why we have come to the CK room still wearing SATAN'S Apron???? I thought we were serving God!"

And follow it with "I read in the BOM that the Gadianton Robbers swore by thier heads and secret oaths and passwords and that it was considered to be of Satan and not GOD!"

Did I just swear allegence to a secret combination???????

Be pushy about getting some 'real' answers!

what if someone refused to don the green apron cause satan says it's a symbol of him and his priesthoods and he tells temple goers to put him on??

"Wow, these handshakes are quite similar to the ones us freemasons use to identify eachother. Is god a freemason???" Proceed to gasp quite loudly and act astounded. Lo

So women already perform priesthood ordinances?

When changing into temple clothes in the locker room keep your arms inside the main part of your shirt/dress so your sleeves are empty. During the endowment session tell the worker you were born without arms, sit down and stick your right foot in the air as an alternate to do the handshakes with. Ask if you should remove your stockings to properly do the handshakes.

...at a totally quiet moment in a really formal ceremony.

Like suddenly stand up, look panicky all around, and go, "Hark!"

7. Hahahaha, very good guys. prank the newbie, right? Right?

Get in the prayer circle then do the ENTIRE HOKEY POKEY as loud as you can. THAT WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT!

Or for the apron, tell them you like like crap in green and see it they have it an another color like light mauve or baby pink or apricot or something like that.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/11/2013 06:31AM by enoughenoch19.

What are money changers doing in the temple as I got my magic robes. I actually said this to my father who just smiled. The cashier overheard me but just smiled as well.

As the session was over I said what the hell is with the hat and all the stupid handshakes he just smiled again. My wife at the time was so freaked out that she didn't want to go anymore. (evnetually we did but that's another story).

Shortly after my father and mother left but I stayed in. It was then I figured out why he was smiling at me so much.

Why do we obey Satan when he tells us to put on our apron? How do we know when to obey Satan and when not to?

How can Peter James and John shake hands with Adam? They haven't been born yet and received a body. Joseph Smith said you can't shake hands with a spirit.

Why is the order of creation different in the Temple than in The Book of Moses?

Is it really true that the Earth was created before the Sun and Stars like the movie depicts?

How did grass and trees grow before the Sun was made?

Did the Temple Ceremony used to teach that Adam was God the Father? (yes)

Why don't women have to covenant to "obey" their husband now days like they used to?

Why is it no longer necessary to enact the "death penalties"?

Are protestant ministers no longer agents of Satan? Why did that get taken out? Do we still believe that or not?

"Joseph Smith said you can't shake hands with a spirit."

Actually JS said you can't shake hands with an EVIL spirit, so the test (should we ever encounter a spirit) is to ask the spirit to shake your hand. If spirit can't/won't, then it's an evil spirit.

Of course this is all a moot point now that we know tscc is bunk.

Lenina;

Sorry, but you have it all wrong.

A spirit can not shake hands with you because it has no body. An evil spirit will try and deceive you by trying to shake your hand and you will feel nothing.

A good spirit "just man made perfect" will refuse to shake your hand because it knows it can't shake hands, and it will not try to deceive you by trying to shake your hand.

A resurrected being "an angel" will go ahead and shake hands with you, and you will feel his body.

Given this divine and eternal knowledge, and seeing Adam shake hands with the pre mortal Peter James and John in the Temple kind of makes you wonder....could something be not quite right here?

Now here is the important part;

When I come to you and say that I am a messenger from God, ask to shake my hand. I will shake your hand and you will feel my hand. Thus you will know that I am an angel sent from God. Remember that whatever God commands is right, and do whatever I tell you.

D & C 129;

4 When a messenger comes saying he has a message from God, offer him your hand and request him to shake hands with you.

5 If he be an angel he will do so, and you will feel his hand.

6 If he be the spirit of a just man made perfect he will come in his glory; for that is the only way he can appear—

7 Ask him to shake hands with you, but he will not move, because it is contrary to the aorder of heaven for a just man to bdeceive; but he will still deliver his message.

8 If it be the a devil as an angel of light, when you ask him to shake hands he will offer you his hand, and you will not feel anything; you may therefore detect him.

9 These are three grand akeys whereby you may know whether any administration is from God.

None of this is true.
It is all made up.
It is all complete nonsense.


Why get all puffed up over nonsense.

I need to be ready when the angels come calling.

That made me laugh. Since I've been reading this site I know all the secret sh!t so I'm good to goto the CK. A few handshakes, made up name, and chants. Who knew it was so easy?

Perhaps I would ask if I'm able to tolerate the whole temple ceremony:

Why we can't discuss what happen inside the temple outside it's walls?
If they answer: it's sacred, then all other priesthood ordinances done outside temple walls aren't sacred at all, because can be discussed openly.
If they answer: it's secret then why all the temple endowment ceremony is available through Internet. It's senseless to promote secrecy in 21th century
Why secret handshakes, names and signs are necessary to enter our Heavenly fathers CELESTIAL CLUB?
The GA's should think seriously about new drastical changes to the Temple Ceremony like they did in 1990

I would ask the vail worker if when I die and go to give this stuff a the veil should I do the five point of fellowship or do it this new way?
Or
Do we have to rebaptize pre 1990 dead people so they will know the correct way to get to the CK?

LOL, Yes! But asked with a solemn voice ; )

18. Tell the worker at the door that you're gay and ask him whether you should sit with the guys or the gals.