I think there should be.....I mean, how is it that us who are divorced will find someone who understands what we have been through?

Also, in my situation, I have to find someone who isn't freaked out that my ex is gay. Besides that, I am not healthy or in good shape. But damn, I miss having someone to go to a movie with.

I mean, don't get me wrong, my ex and I have the same tastes in men, but I don't want to hang out with him.

So if there is a site, please let me know!!

nothing I know of but I agree with you. There should be. Since moving back to Utah I have actually dated a couple of exmo's and even though it didn't work out, it was nice to have a friend that understood.

Might try going to a few post mormon meet ups if you are lucky enough to be close to a group. Best to you in your new life of reality/honesty.

www.postmormon.org/exp_e/



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/11/2014 07:11PM by Susan I/S.

I understand. : (

I have also found that exmo's are very easy sexually and they like to drink, well basically they are alcoholics. They sometimes also drink coffee and swear ;)

Tupperwhere Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I have also found that exmo's are very easy
> sexually and they like to drink, well basically
> they are alcoholics. They sometimes also drink
> coffee and swear ;)


You mean exmos are sinners! Yaaaaaaaasy, sinnnnners!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/07/2018 09:04PM by Aquarius123.

Easy??....probably....drink and swear??....oh fuck yeah!!

There is Gaymormondating.com

They never last long and are often problems.

I'm not a drunk and I'm not easy. (Except for Asian schoolgirls.) But that's not a likely scenario.

Spotting someone, going on 2 dates, feel the burning desire, (otherwise known as the spirit in Mormonism), and getting engaged 2 weeks later. Then married 1 month after that!

In the real world there is no pressure to marry so soon because it's ok to have sex first. Humans have been doing that for thousands of years....long before religion ever showed up. Port Mormons! I'm afraid though I was guilty of the same lame pattern. Felt pressure to be married (I was 26), and married someone I shouldn't have. F'n cult!

"Yes...it's called the real world!"

So true. Why limit yourself to ex-Mormons? It seems like a pretty narrow slice.

my bf is perfectly hot except he can't fathom why exmo's are so mad or what they went through as members. He is literally perfect except for that.

In some ways I understand this kind of suggestion. Especially exmos with lifelong (or otherwise very long) entanglement with TSCC have a somewhat unique background. It's almost like people whose country of origin is the same while living, for instance, in the U.S. It can be easier to understand each other, understand where each other are coming from. After all, many people say/realize that their social interactions are somewhat different because of their TSCC background.

It's just that I've seen people make ex-Mormons their whole social group, and I think that's unhealthy.

(Sorry, my post was rambling and unclear.)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/12/2014 06:09AM by Makurosu.

well it's true that we're not completely unique. My ex was an ex born again Christian. Now HE understood my exmo stuff because he was forced to attend a Christian school growing up and his family left their church when he was a teen and they were shunned big time. It can be unhealthy if you are only looking to date other exmos I guess, but it can also be helpful when you are trying to explain why you're so fucked up :)

I haven't seen a dating sight for former mormons. I have seen a lot of profiles on dating website where the girl states that she used to be or was brought up mormon. That is typical in Utah. For me I want a woman who will help me forget about my LDS past and bring me away from LDS culture cuz most of my family and friends are still in the tscc.

yeah, it's called Recovery From Mormonism; but Don't Tell the mods!

I think it's good we can't have profile pics here. Too much hanky panky may happen!

Stop it !
You're making me feel a little frisky.

Dave the Atheist Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Stop it !
> You're making me feel a little frisky.


Down, boy, down!

I looked for one a while back. Believe it or not, I actually found one. However, it only had about a dozen profiles on it, and it looked like the developer had long ago abandoned the project. That doesn't mean it was a bad idea. It could be that the creator never got the world out. It could also be that a lot of ex-Mormons have moved beyond Mormonism, and no longer need any connections to it.

Personally, I'm glad I didn't end up in a ExMo dating site. I was once TBM, married young, etc. When I discovered the truth my marriage fell apart.

A big part of my recovery was leaving the ExMo world, too. My wife now is a never Mo. We live in a large east coast city. All are friends are never Mo. No one knows I'm even an ExMo, or divorced, unless I bring it up. Many never Mos are scared by former relationships and fundamentalist upbringing. It's damaging, but recovery is not letting it define you.

I talk to my never Mo wife about tscc things that bother me from time to time. Mormon stuff creeps her out. I'm glad that tscc doesn't define our life and relationship.

DD went to one of the LDS sites, bit only dredged up dead-heads. But then she went to one of the major sites and just registered as Mormon, and began dating mainstream Mormon guys. She was very close to getting married just a month ago, but the guy--definitely not a dead-head--had cold feet and they called it off.

Obviously, I totally didn't read the subject.

They have to lean to interact socially without the Mormon church. Part of that could be reaching out to exmormons and nonmormons in the dating scene.

RfM is a wonderful way to recover from Mormonism. We can't expect a forum like that for everything. We can have the gumption to be nonmormons in the real world. I don't think it's fair to date someone expecting them to fill in for RfM or the Mormon church.

If you are in Utah, there is a private facebook group for xlds singles. Most of the members are in the morridor. I live in Vegas so it doesn't do me any good. Plus a facebook group isn't designed well for dating imo.

Call me an idiot but I registered on an LDS site, put down that I never go and no longer believe. You should see the response. Most of them don't want anything to do with me. Several have sent me messages telling me I don't belong and should repent. But through all of that I have been on 3 first dates. One was just investigating mormonism--she got an earful of advice about steering clear. One was into even crazier shit than mormonism and the last one was only semi-active so we spent the time bagging on the church. In some ways i feel like a little ex-mo missionary planting my evil seeds.

Back to the point...I really wish there was an exmo dating site which was location specific.

So any single exmo 35-50 Las Vegas women out there?

Religion should not be an issue in a relationship. Probably, politics shouldn't be an issue, either.

Why not seek out people who have the same interests as you. I mean, positive, fun interests, and not horrible memories and complaints. Salt Lake City has a movie club--I don't know the name, but they are associated with the Tower, Broadway, and Brewvies theaters. No, not just independent and foreign films--all movies.

There's a group of singles that meets in the Dan's parking lot to go hiking and bicycling. Petsmart has dog-walking groups. Salt Lake has a gourmet club, that divides into smaller groups for dinners. You can meet singles standing in line at the post office on April 15, shopping on Christmas Eve, helping at the soup kitchen on Thanksgiving. You can meet single (non-Mormon) parents at McDonald's on Sunday mornings. Start a good conversation with the person next to you on the chairlift or the ski bus. Hang out in Park City. Take night classes. All these have worked for me.

Don't limit yourself to only potential partners, only those of the opposite sex, only your age group, only attractive people. At a party, I noticed a not-very-well-dressed lady sitting by herself, looking very sad. Everyone was ignoring her. I sat by her and tried to cheer her up, and she had some very interesting things to say. She introduced me to her brother, and he and I dated for four years. He was featured as one of "Utah's most eligible bachelors" in a magazine, and while we were dating, women tried all kinds of tricks to get to meet him--with no success--and he thought it was funny. They would invite him on dates, bring him dinners, offer to do his laundry and clean his house. Women even showed up at his father's and his mother's funerals, which they read about in the newspaper! Utah women are very aggressive, so the best way is to not compete, but be yourself and have fun. My divorce-attorney cousin says, "It's a crapshoot."

Hope OP takes it to heart.

I don't mean to sound negative when I say this: but I would think casual dating between exmos could be a good idea, but long-term relationships between 2 exmos who are still working on their recovery seems like a terrible idea.

There could be exceptions, of course. But as a rule I would think it would end badly.

I was lucky to find the love of my life who made an early exit from fundamental christianity as a child and never drank the kool-aid.

Whenever I start to get a little self-indulgent over kolobianism she gently reminds me that I was not born in liberia, i have no health issues, and I actually came out of it pretty unscathed.

I can see how if I had hooked up with a recovering exmo they might be inclined to indulge my self-indulgence and I would be worse off.

I'm not saying there aren't tons of folks on this site who didn't suffer real damage from the cult (I know there are), but myself I came out pretty ok.

I just love this community so I stick around :)

I'll probably create one one sometime in the next few months - its' on my list of projects to do - it will probably be pretty rudimentary compared to the big name ones but would at least be a way to connect.

My husband is a never-mo but his dad is an exmo. It helps that he has a connection. There was a time when I felt like I could only be friends with an exmo but the more I am away the less I feel that way. So give it time and maybe you won't feel as strong of a need to date an exmo.

Dear gawd please. This is all I found when I did a search for one.
Here's a fun one: I am cis-female queer, hetero partnered, left my husband for a woman still miss women, am non-monogamous, need someone who understands my childhood as a TBM. Sigh.

Let's make an ex-mo dating site for LGTBQIA and even S.

Also this: http://mormonssa.com

There are EXMo sites on Facebook and they are just for exmo's

to discuss whatever, it wasn't specifically for dating , just

to talk and what ever. It's how I met the dog. I don't know if

there is an exmo site but its worth looking into.

I just found one called xmormons worldwide... I'm sure there are

alot more.

Wonder what the deal is with Malgosia? Yes Ma'am!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/07/2018 10:19PM by verdacht.

This may be restating what others have said, but when I finally officially quit the church, there is an 80+ percent chance that I will become single. There is a 40 percent chance that I would ever date again, a 20 percent chance that I would admit that I was even associated with this cult, and a 0 percent chance that I would want to ever talk about it with anyone again.

I am so done. I just cannot seem to pull the plug on this messed up life yet.

Lowpriest,

It's always good to be realistic about things; leaving the church emotionally, and then factually, is very difficult. There's no way around that..

But that doesn't mean your percentages are realistic. As you distance yourself, you may find your attitudes changing and forming new relationships easier. You may even reach the point where you want to laugh with a loved one about the absurdity of our collective background.

The great thing about making a big chance is that lots of smaller changes unobtrusively follow. Things are, thankfully, more fluid than they sometimes seem!

LW,

Thanks for your thoughtful reply. I may not be accurate, but I am stuck.I suppose that I should be prepared for anything that could probably happen, but still be optimistic.
LP

There will come the moment when you internalize that being miserable with no viable means to end it is NOT as bad as being miserable with even the slightest chance to live what RfMers call an 'authentic' life.

For me, that means being true to my very lazy nature and scheming to get Saucie to make me a tuna fish sandwich. Yum!