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Posted by: Upsetrm ( )
Date: February 25, 2014 05:32PM


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Posted by: sistertwister ( )
Date: February 25, 2014 05:38PM

*Blurry vision*

*Can't read anymore it's sucking the life out of me*

*Make it stop*

*"Uncle"*

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Posted by: Darksparks ( )
Date: February 25, 2014 06:45PM


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Posted by: blueorchid ( )
Date: February 25, 2014 07:47PM


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Posted by: morgana ( )
Date: February 25, 2014 07:58PM

Yep, I was just thinking the same things. Blahblahahblah...

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Posted by: Chicken N. Backpacks ( )
Date: February 25, 2014 05:46PM

We know, from Joseph Smith, that God is an older Northern European man with a white beard and long white hair.

That's me!

I still can't quite work the whole floating-in-the-air bit, but close enough.

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Posted by: madalice ( )
Date: February 25, 2014 08:25PM

You must not live in Wa. or Co. People in those states are floating legally these days.

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Posted by: madalice ( )
Date: February 25, 2014 08:32PM

New opening song for mormons.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kCDPlU6ioZU

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Posted by: Eric K ( )
Date: February 25, 2014 05:53PM

"The Church acknowledges the contribution of scholars to the content presented in this article; their work is used with permission."

Used with permission... LOL Scholars now declare doctrine. What are the general authorities for in this case? This is an interesting admission. Again, no names are listed.

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Posted by: steve benson ( )
Date: February 25, 2014 05:59PM


Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 02/25/2014 06:16PM by steve benson.

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Posted by: sonoma ( )
Date: February 25, 2014 06:32PM

Ok everybody, sing with me!...

"We-e thank thee oh God for unnamed scholars

To-o guide us in these latter-days!

We-e thank thee for MENDING the gospel

And inoculating our kids with these essays!"



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/25/2014 06:32PM by sonoma.

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: February 25, 2014 06:37PM

ROTFLMAO! Love it!

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Posted by: blueorchid ( )
Date: February 25, 2014 07:48PM


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Posted by: morgana ( )
Date: February 25, 2014 07:59PM

Perfect!

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Posted by: Surrender Dorothy ( )
Date: February 25, 2014 08:37PM

Ditto!

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Posted by: Probitas ( )
Date: February 25, 2014 08:55PM

Ok, that was great!

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Posted by: madalice ( )
Date: February 25, 2014 05:54PM

What a load of Pucky!

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Posted by: rennaise ( )
Date: February 25, 2014 06:11PM

You know what's missing at lds.org right now?
There used to be a page I'd go to on "Exaltation" that said specifically "we will become gods." That page is gone. Maybe I'm not looking in the right place, but I can't find it at all. I'm going to keep looking--then, I'm going to see if anyone captured it on the Wayback Machine.

Surely someone has this somewhere!

Unbelievable!

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Posted by: rennaise ( )
Date: February 25, 2014 06:17PM

Nevermind, I found it. And I put it on the Wayback.

http://www.lds.org/manual/gospel-principles/chapter-47-exaltation?lang=eng

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Posted by: moonbeam ( )
Date: February 25, 2014 08:12PM

"I don't know that we teach that."

Really? It's right there!

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Posted by: moonbeam ( )
Date: February 25, 2014 08:15PM

Q: Is god married?

A: Purple.

Q: Are Mormons polytheists?

A: Down the street next to the tall tree.

Q: Are we full of contradictions?

A: 14+6(4x - 16)+3

It just doesn't make sense.

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Posted by: blueorchid ( )
Date: February 25, 2014 08:18PM

That is so funny precisely because it really is how they answer questions.

Remember . . ."Always answer the question they SHOULD have asked."

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Posted by: gungholierthanthou ( )
Date: February 25, 2014 09:05PM

Pick the perfection talk, choose to leave out Kolob, and the fact that Mormon Heavenly Father lives there. Pick and choose. JS made Sh*t up, and that was revelation. Ugh. Oh the mental pain of it all.

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Posted by: RPackham ( )
Date: February 25, 2014 06:25PM

Nowhere are good Mormons promised in the scriptures to become "LIKE God."

They are promised in the scriptures that they will "BECOME GODS":

D&C 76:58
132:17, 20, 37

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Posted by: Stray Mutt ( )
Date: February 25, 2014 06:35PM

The Gospel Principles lesson referenced above agrees. it says:

>>2. They will become gods (see D&C 132:20–23).<<

Oops. Someone was napping in the Correlation department.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/25/2014 06:37PM by Stray Mutt.

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Posted by: Riverman ( )
Date: February 25, 2014 06:27PM

I don't know that we teach that.

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Posted by: sistertwister ( )
Date: February 25, 2014 08:22PM

+1

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Posted by: MCR ( )
Date: February 25, 2014 06:32PM

This article is nonsense. Is it really trying to say that JS was a Buddhist? The Prophet "collapsed centuries of confusion" by proclaiming that humans, at there core, are divine. Like, had JS ever heard of Catholicism? Can this thing really be more mealy-mouthed? Another example of TSCC making vague gestures and letting people read into those gestures whatever they want. If what they read in supports TSCC, they read correctly; if it opposes, they're anti. This is what becomes of a culture that can't speak truth to power.

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Posted by: Curious ( )
Date: February 25, 2014 06:32PM

"That was the last time the Prophet spoke in a general conference. Three months later, a mob stormed Carthage Jail and martyred him and his brother Hyrum."

An excerpt from the essay which although not really relevant to the essay itself illustrates the church's continuing disingenuity. If they cannot be open and admit it was not martyrdom - why should we give credence to anything else they have to.

It belittles those people who have truly given their lives for a cause they believe in.

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Posted by: Nolongerquestioning81 ( )
Date: February 25, 2014 06:35PM

When asked about this topic, Church President Gordon B. Hinckley told a reporter in 1997, “That gets into some pretty deep theology that we don’t know very much about.”

Aren't prophets, by definition, supposed to know???

Basically, "We're making this up as we go along, whatever keeps the tithing rolling in."

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Posted by: sonoma ( )
Date: February 25, 2014 06:51PM

If you're not going to become a god,

there is no point in being a Mormon.

They may survive giving up on the BOA and the BOM and even Joseph Smith,

but giving up on this point will kill the Mormon Cult.

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Posted by: Chicken N. Backpacks ( )
Date: February 25, 2014 06:57PM

"But, but, but...I paid all that money and was always doing some church job or at a meeting and was rarely home and gave up so much that I wanted to do--they lied to me!!"

"Sir, the lawsuit line forms to the left..."

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Posted by: drilldoc ( )
Date: February 25, 2014 07:08PM

Another misinterpretation of scripture. We are not Gods. We never were Gods nor will we ever be Gods. The word Elohim or Gods can be also interpreted as ruler, judge, magistrate. We may be able to reflect a godlike countenance and even be heirs of his kingdom, but that doesn't make us god. There is only one god. We are his creation. We cannot become god. This whole teaching is why Mormons are a cult. It brings god to our level and elevates us to his. Not gonna happen.

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Posted by: anybody ( )
Date: February 25, 2014 07:39PM

"Listen to me, Mister. I've been married to you for forty-two years. I left law school for you. I've put up with everything. Eight children, adopted a girl from Ghana that our youngest son secretly sired on his mission, the shameless hussy that you were keeping a secret in Scottsdale, everything. Now you are telling me the Church is saying you might not get to be a god? You had better check and get this sorted out right now. What about our planet? I'm not going to be your eternal sex doll and/or baby factory in the hereafter for nothing. I know what kind of planet I want and you had better get it for me. I want it to have a lavender pink sky with blue grass and purple forests and I've already designed the animals..."



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/25/2014 07:40PM by anybody.

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Posted by: AnonQ ( )
Date: February 25, 2014 08:23PM

"Church members imagine exaltation less through images of what they will get and more through the relationships they have now and how those relationships might be purified and elevated."

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Posted by: Crud ( )
Date: February 25, 2014 08:21PM

Simple new couplet for members to memorize:



Before 1994 God was once a man.

After 1994 God wasn't once a man.

...or WAS He?



( .... spooky music .... )

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Posted by: So There ( )
Date: February 25, 2014 08:24PM

Welcome to

"The CULT of Joseph Smith of Latter-day SPIN."

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Posted by: quinlansolo ( )
Date: February 25, 2014 08:26PM

of God...
Not that I believe in any of it....

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Posted by: madalice ( )
Date: February 25, 2014 08:33PM


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Posted by: donbagley ( )
Date: February 25, 2014 08:43PM

If you shed ridiculous doctrine and racial and sexual bigotry, you can become LIKE an enlightened person. But you can't really be enlightened by men who read messages in rocks.

As for becoming godlike, that's right out of it.

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Posted by: A ANON ( )
Date: February 25, 2014 08:50PM

It seems that the more they explain, the worse it gets.

Throughout Mormon history someone in the church has tried to define its doctrine -- and the results have always FAILED.

From the JoD (from which the church now distances itself), to Joseph Fielding Smith's "Gospel Principles" (from which the church now distances itself) to McConkies "Mormon Doctrine" (from which the church now distances itself) to G.B Hinckley's horrid Media Tour (from which the church now distances itself)...and finally the D&C 132 (from which the church now distances itself)... Did I forgot Brigham Young's racism?

When it gets down to it - Mormons can explain themselves to themselves - let alone the world.

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Posted by: CL2 ( )
Date: February 25, 2014 09:01PM

Does it really say we can "become like God" and not "become a God?"

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Posted by: AnonQ ( )
Date: February 25, 2014 09:34PM

"Latter-day Saints believe that it is only through the Atonement of Jesus Christ that we can have a sure hope of eternal glory and that the power of His Atonement is fully accessed only by faith in Jesus Christ, repentance, baptism, receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost, and enduring to the end in following the instruction and example of Christ. Thus, those who become like God and enter into a fulness of His glory are described as people who have been “made perfect through Jesus the mediator of the new covenant, who wrought out this perfect atonement through the shedding of his own blood.”

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Posted by: newnamenephi ( )
Date: February 25, 2014 09:16PM

"Latter-day Saints tend to imagine..."

Well, that's the most truth they've given in a long time! :)

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Posted by: satangotme ( )
Date: February 25, 2014 09:28PM

@ Crud

You say:

>Before 1994 God was once a man.
>
>After 1994 God wasn't once a man.


What does that mean? another change of doctrine in 1994? I've always been taught God once was a man. TBMs are so proud to know this "truth"! This is proof to them that LDS church is true.

Do you have quotes or documentation?

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Posted by: Chicken N. Backpacks ( )
Date: February 25, 2014 09:29PM

Darn it! I wanted to be God so I could smite the Hittites and the Amorites, and the Canaanites and the Perizzites, whoever the hell they are--they bug me just because of their stupid sounding name. Oh, and the Hivites, too, and the Jebusites, I never liked those jerks either, one of 'em still owes me 5 bucks, but screw him.....

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