My ex-husband wanted a temple divorce. I told him that I would give him one when he was current on his child support and the last child turned 18, then I'd sell him one for $1. I never heard about it again. I thought it was a great deal for $1!
Oh and SisterSue, your ex is a d!ck! That is if he don't have a very good reason why he's behind.
Anywhoo here are my thoughts.
The man, if righteous, can choose to add to his marriage, more women.
If I, in the afterlife and before the resurrection, repent and come back to the church I would get my soon to be ex back as she is sealed to me as long as I do not grant her a Temple divorce. And being now righteous in the eyes of the lord I can now choose from the righteous corral of millions of righteous women in need of a righteous polygamous husband. So thanks to mormon theology I can still get her back though she may be called my #1 wife she may also have duties prepping my new harem space.
(anyone outside looking at this little discussion would think we’re all ‘looney toons’ even discussing such nonsense wouldn’t they? Insane no?)
I have no intention of granting my wife a temple divorce. If asked I will tell her that my new mantra is and always be enforced. And what is that? It’s that I have and will continue to have the right to change my mind whenever I please as new information comes in which as an ex-mo seems to be a lot nowadays!
If they believe this is real then why not make them live it as if it was real?
My husband was sealed in the temple to his first wife. They divorced and when he started to date again, he and I met on LDS singles. We immediately clicked and were engaged a few months later. In order to get a temple marriage, like we were aiming for, we had to go to the Bishop together and talk with him about our intentions to be sure that they were "pure", blah blah blah. And they were. Thank goodness we are still a good match to this day and we made it through finding out the church history together, without shattering our family. The first couple of months was a little bit rocky, because my husband didn't want to hear any of what I was telling him, but now he sees all of it for what it is and believes it is a fraud.
So, anyhoo, my DH (future husband at the time) had to get "permission" from his ex-wife for us to be married. Talk about fricken sick. So first he had to talk to her, even though they were legally divorced for a year, to ask her if it was "okay" with her. She broke down sobbing. Then he needed to get written permission from her, which was taken to the 1st Presidency for review. The review process was long. So long in fact, it passed our planned wedding date. I went ahead and got my endowments and we got married civilly on the date we had planned. The "okay" to go ahead with our temple marriage literally came while we were on our honeymoon, three days after we had gotten married. Two adults can only stay moral for so long, and we did, but we sure as hell weren't going to wait any longer for a "permission slip" when we had no clue as to when it was going to arrive. And couldn't they fax the flipping thing or maybe call our Bishop, who ended up marrying us civilly in the end?? Why did they have to use snail mail? It was very aggravating.
So now my husband is sealed to his ex-wife and me. LOL! It is really sick if you think about it. But I don't believe in that anyway anymore, so it doesn't bother me. We haven't resigned yet, but we will eventually. We only came across the true history of the church in February of 2010, so there are still a lot of milestones....
Oh, and to top it all off. Because we didn't wait for that letter that we had been waiting forever for already and we got married civilly, even though we were both temple worthy, they would not let us get sealed to eachother for another year. So it was okay for us to do endowments and sealings for others all that year, which we did A LOT, but it wasn't okay for us to get sealed ourselves until a year after our civil ceremony. All of this because we needed flipping permission from my husband's ex-wife. We did get sealed a year later and we made sure to do tons of temple work for others during that year. My knees and lower back were killing me from all the sealings. I always thought that it was odd that we could do that work for others, and we were completely worthy, but because we got married civilly to STAY moral on our PLANNED wedding date, we literally got penalized.
I never went back to the temple after we were sealed. I went to the temple numerous times up until our sealing, but after we were sealed, I never went back.
The church sent him a form, for him to fill in if I was temple worthy, if I was a faithful wife, if I attended church meetings, if I wore the temple garments. This wife-beater thug was supposed to judge me! My fiancee was in the military, and we couldn't wait, either, and when we finally got "permission," it was too late. We got married and had children.
After I married someone else, I was never granted a temple divorce. Mormon rules say the my children are also sealed to the wife-beater, and not to the children's father! *@#!%# cult!
YES YES YES--that's the answer to the question if it helps to know someone in the First Presidency. My abusive ex was (is) a close relative of a GA.
When my giant football-player cousins took the papers for my ex to sign in person, he was ALREADY MARRIED TO SOMEONE ELSE IN THE TEMPLE, and had been for over a year. He did not need my permission.
There's more to this boring, tedious story, but I tried for 20 years to get a temple divorce, and I could not get one.
When you resign, be sure to spell it out in your letter, loud and clear, that your resignation means that "all temple blessings will be lost" and that includes your temple marriage, which will become null and void, according to the LDS Church Handbook of Instructions. That felt good!!!!!!!!!
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/12/2010 03:22AM by forestpal.
Wow! That is horrible and also very creepy how he didn't get your permission to temple marry again, even though I am sure you could have cared less. :)
Your story really shows what influence, knowing a GA, really can have on a temple divorce. It sounds as though your ex was given lots of free passes.