That is what it comes down to--the children. BKP will never change. We have to worry about the children.
I have probably said this before, but I have come to completely accept that my ex is gay and that he will be okay (I worried endlessly about how lonely he might end up being), but I still had a difficult time thinking about if one of my children was gay. Then I read about the father of 2 gay sons (over on postmo) and he talked about going to the wedding of his oldest gay son and I realized ALL I WANT for my children is for them to be happy, to be able to find someone to love.
As a lesbian friend of mine told me--it isn't about whether you fall in love with a female or a male, it isn't about gay or straight, it is about who you connect to, who you fall in love with. That is how it should be.