I live in the Morridor, so I'm used to families taking their entire brood to the grocery store and wreaking havoc, shoving me out of their way, etc. But recently I've noticed pushy, rude Mormons elsewhere, too, like the local park and even the sidewalk in my neighborhood.

A few weeks ago my writing group met at a local park. It was pretty crowded, being a Saturday afternoon. Barbie and Ken Mormon, with about twenty-five little kids in tow, approached our pavilion and asked when we were going to leave, because they needed to have a birthday party for their daughter. They hadn't reserved a pavilion or anything, but showed up with all those children and balloons anyway. As they stood their with fake, pointy-toothed smiles plastered on, it was clear they expected us to vacate. We didn't. A little later, they came over and started putting down their tablecloths and party ware, even though we were still seated and obviously not done.
"Don't let us rush you or anything," they said in that sickly-sweet tone as they pushed our food and manuscripts out of their way. We eventually left, but were not happy about it.

Tonight, I was walking on a public sidewalk when I heard bicycle noises behind me: an entire Mormon family of six or seven, cycling down the sidewalk. Instead of moving onto the street (where there was no traffic and not likely to be any, given that I live on the edge of town) or allowing me time to get out of their way, they went right past me on the sidewalk, forcing me to flatten myself against the chain-link fence so as not to get hit. "Thank you," one of them said in that same passive-aggressive tone as they whizzed past.

It seems like Mormons with their kids in public just expect everyone to get out of their way. This kind of thing seems to be happening more and more, too -- at restaurants, movie theaters, malls -- anywhere they go.

It's called "entitlement." The rules do not apply to them.

They also have a warped view of reality. Someone wrote on here in another post, "The world does not love Mormons."

Yes, most of the Mormons I know are quite passive-aggressive.

When they bang on your door (they never use the doorbell) at 9:00 at night, and you tell them to read your "NO SOLICITORS" sign, they smile and say "Have a nice day!" They all say that, and it gives me the creeps. It is a cult that teaches contempt and disrespect for everyone else, and it really does show in their behavior.

That's why one of my favorite comebacks is "See - this is why people don't respect Mormons." The idea that anyone doesn't respect, look up to, admire or feel it necessary to cater to Mormons is a shocker for them and if nothing else, it should give them pause. Not much else does - they are like a herd of bulls in a china shop.

And you know all these people are Mormon how?

Besides the fact that I live in an area where nearly everyone is Mormon, there were the usual cultural signs: vocal inflection, clothing styles, hairstyles -- and garments.

Garment lines, garment show-through, and garment peek-out. It's hard to keep the g's tucked in on a bike. And yes, as super-clean-cut Bicycle Mommy and Daddy passed within inches of me on the sidewalk with their big brood in tow, I noticed g's hanging out. I have to admit I was kind of shocked at their behavior, so I turned and watched as they rode away. They definitely had g's showing.

Birthday Party Ken and Barbie had garment lines and show-through as they grinned at us and tried to get us to vacate the pavilion we were using. Since there were two conversations, I had more opportunity to observe them.

The giant families at the grocery store also look culturally Mormon. They tend to cluster in the aisles and chat with people they run into about church stuff. Since they block the aisles, it's hard not to hear their latest ward gossip and missionary updates while I'm trying to get to the canned beets.

I'm not trying to say Mormons in general and temple-goers in particular are always publicly rude and passive-aggressive -- just that recently I've encountered a lot of people who are clearly in both groups, and it's troubling. Lately, incivility seems to be the trend.

In the days when anyone could go through security and meet/greet at the gate, SLC Airport was chaos. It was not uncommon to see groups of 30+ at the gate to meet an arriving missionary. Connecting passengers were inconvenienced in that gate seats were occupied by non-travelers, and I personally observed hordes of children (not toddlers, but tweens who were old enough to have some manners) taking seats while elderly (old---not middle aged) passengers had to stand.

In addition, deplaning could take 20+ minutes because the crowd would rush the jetway door so that each person in the party could greet the arriving RM. No thought whatsoever that some of the passengers (particularly on Delta) were making tight connections. If anyone tried to suggest they show some consideration for others, they'd get scowls and the stink-eye.

I had a TBM employee from Layton who went back to SLC on a visit and, while she was not connecting in SLC, she too agreed that the situation was out of hand. Just like scouts making Eagle at 12-13, the airport greet/meet became a "can you top this?" event, with the ward's adoration/love of the RM measured in terms of numbers of greeters. She had to wait 20 minutes to deplane because of RMs seated ahead of her.

Within a week or two of her remarks, the FP actually issued a directive that no more than 2-3 people were to meet at the gate, and that an off-airport site was preferable if a large number of people wished to greet the RM. What amazes me is that the FP actually agreed that the behavior/poor manners of airport RM greeters was out of line. There had been several articles in the Trib, as well as letters to the editor from out-of-town travelers who connected via SLC, so TSCC was starting to garner bad publicity.

This directive was in summer 2001, and within a few months the entire issue became moot, since post-9/11 only ticketed passengers (and assisting relatives in the case of very young children flying solo and those assisting the elderly) were allowed past security.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/26/2014 11:39AM by PtLoma.

This crap at the airport used to be one of my pet peeves. When I mentioned it to my boss (former bishop), his reply was that the church can't control what their members are doing.........

riiiiight.

I thought you needed a boarding pass and go through security to get to the loading gate.

Are things different at the SLC airport?

I went to testimony meeting at a ward at the invitation of a Molly girl friend.

A couple of kids about 12 were running around the benches and just being rude and pests.

When they came by me, I grabbed one by his shirt collar and told them both to sit down and behave.

I embarrassed my GF, but several older people smiled and gave me a nod of approval.

either you reserve the gazebo, as you mentioned, or else you send someone to the park early to save/nab the gazebo. Obviously you wouldn't leave kids there alone to hold the spot, but an adult relative or family friend could do it.

Yes, even here, a person should reserve the pavilion/gazebo if they plant on holding an event there and inviting people (even small children) to it. Failing that, they could have sent a scout out early to secure it, as you said. But Barbie and Ken either didn't realize that the park would be busy on a Saturday afternoon in June, or they just figured they were more important than whomever happened to be there when they showed up with 25 rowdy toddlers.

If they'd come up to us and said, "Hey, we goofed and forgot to reserve a pavilion. Is there any way we could use this one in say, half an hour?" it would have been different. What really made us mad was, after we told them we needed to finish our meeting, they made that passive-aggressive comment about not rushing us (with angry smiles and that fake-nice voice) and started setting up their party anyway.

Your examples are valid and I've witnessed many similar cases.

We were visiting my non mo SIL in SLC and commented on the rude behavior at the zoo, shoving, pushing in front of people, you know SIL said to look for the garment lines, and sure nuff. It was really egregiously obnoxious.

I think that sometimes we look to be offended, especially by groups we don't like or do not have particularly good feelings about. I wonder if such incidents would have even been notices or commented on if the "offending" groups had been the local book club or some company group. Mormons don;t have a corner on rudeness as much as many would like to suggest on this board.

Haha you must not live in Utah!

Yes, members are rude and arrogant.. I witness this bad behavior daily. Once you sincerely step outside the Mormon box, life makes sense. These "members" are taught all their lives they have higher standards and are chosen for the last days. Swells the head of gods chosen. (which is BS anyway)

I, too, have noticed this type of behavior as a grandma taking her grandchildren to places in and around SLC......the new aquarium, Liberty Park water canyons, Wheeler Farm, the Zoo, and parks.

At the aquarium we encountered a particularly obnoxious scene. It turned out that the day was spring break for some schools and the place was plastered with kids, kids, and more kids. As I gave my body a rest, I had time to sit back and observe. I did not look for garment lines, but there had to be lots of mormon families and I base this on the fact that they are a good percentage in the morridore, plus a lot of the families had an ample amount of kids.

At any rate, be the families mormon or not, there was way to much pushing, shoving, loud talking and/or screaming at a public place. I did overhear one adult tell another adult off for not getting quickly out of her way as she was looking for her lost child. When this adult had moved on, I heard the adult she told off say sarcastically into the air, "That is why you hold onto your child's hand at a place like this!"

I feel like cell phone talking and use wherever and whenever has set the stage for a lot of the rude behavior that is visable. I have been talking to some of my own grown children, their phone rings, and they do not excuse themselves to text or talk, they do it while PRETENDING to be giving me their undivided attention. In my way of thinking, this is just plain wrong and rude. I guess I am of the old school.....hell yes I am, because I am old I will admit, and proud of it. (rather this, than dead!)

That's my story, and I'm stickin' to it.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/26/2014 03:10PM by presleynfactsrock.

It is sad that you did not "ACCIDENTALLY" lean into one of them and knock them all off their bikes

I've learned how to hold my ground against couples and groups on sidewalks by simply standing still on my share of the sidewalk until the group figures out how they want to get around me. I'm not sure how you would hold your ground against bicycles, however.

anonandmad Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
A
> little later, they came over and started putting
> down their tablecloths and party ware, even though
> we were still seated and obviously not done.
> "Don't let us rush you or anything," they said in
> that sickly-sweet tone as they pushed our food and
> manuscripts out of their way.

Setting up on a part you aren't using is one thing. Touching/moving my belongings would be another, and I would have "moved" their tablecloth and anything else onto the grass outside the pavilion.

Yup! With a "look", too!

I hate the standing in the isle and chatting groups, it drives me nuts ( though I never really notice the religious affiliation, rude is rude) Sometimes I wish I could just brake up the little group by just pushing straight threw with my cart (but would never do this except when dreaming, and even then I feel bad about it) I hate it when people comment on the coffee in my grocery cart ( usually a Mom telling her kids proudly oh we do not drink that) Once my 6yrold looked at a lady who said this and with a sweet smile told her," I drink coffee everyday, so does my Mom, my Dad and my big Brother we, love coffee!" The look on her face was priceless.

As a general rule I tend to find people with kids more rude than those without. They tend to have a sense of entitlement about them. Regardless of religion! And the bigger the brood, the more they are rude...

Yep. Similar attitudes and behaviors show up in the Christian homeschooling and Quiverfull crowds, too. There is a large family who attends my church and the wife isn't at all shy about asking for help because she needs to focus on the baby or she needs someone to help care for the baby while she is homeschooling. She regularly puts out the word that she and her husband need a date night - can anyone help make this happen? Last year, they asked for help watching their kids so they could take a post-breast cancer vacation to Hawaii!!! Meanwhile, an entire team of church ladies had knocked themselves out helping care for her six kids (including a newborn) for months!! She completed chemo a year ago and is now eight months pregnant with number seven and recently sent out a FaceBook announcement for a shower, listing where she is registered.

A couple of months ago, she asked for prayer that they would get a very significant reduction in tuition at a private Christian school because homeschooling wasn't working out. Talk about feeling entitled. Why are her large family and short-sighted choices everyone's problem but her own?!?

Many people who think they are following a moral imperative to have as many kids as they can possibly squeeze out seem to think the rest of us selfish people should help them out - on their terms of course. This woman had the gall to insist that ALL meals provided be prepared using fresh, organic fruits and vegetables. No meat unless it was fresh caught salmon or trout. There were even more requirements than that but I've forgotten the particulars. I refused to bring in meals since I think a person shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth.

I just am now assuming everybody is going to be rude. No matter what religion. I've seen to many assholes all the time. I've given up on humanity.

It's not just Mormons. It's not just people with kids. It's people in general. They are assholes.

I live in an area with a lot of retired people. I often hear them exclaim how rude my generation is(I'm almost 25). But yet, I'm the one smiling at them in the grocery store. I'm the one who apologizes and says excuse me when I walk in front of them. I'm the one who holds open doors for people behind me. I'm the one who will run to catch a random runaway cart about to hit some random strangers car.

But yet, my generation is rude assholes? Pahlease, every generation has their dicks.

I hear it's worse in Mormon heavy areas---when the vast majority around them are non-Mo, they seem to know how to behave better.

some of us with kids, try very hard to teach them how to behave in public. Things like opening doors for people, saying excuse me when needed, picking up the mess that might be left at a restraint ( trying very hard in the first place not to make the mess) and saying please and thank you. My oldest keeps asking me why he has to do these things when no one else does, I tell him its part of life and people need to be polite because it is showing respect to others and yourself.

Oh and giving up seats for the elderly and others who may need the seat more than yourself, heck my own husband does not know how to do this and it makes me nuts.

Move if you can. I did and I'm so much happier!

icedtea - you were extremely nice to them to let them end your meeting. I would have waited until they got all of their crap set up, then pulled the table cloth out from under it all and let everything fall on the ground. The nerve! You were there first. I would have just said "We were here first so move on."

Kentish - TBMs with their wall to wall snot nosed brats majored in RUDE RUDE RUDE. The only time they are not rude is to each other (hubby and wife) when he is knocking her up. PA-LEEZE!

I moved too and I am happy about it......

That entitlement thing comes from families like the Duggers with the 19 kids.
And it works for them....that is the sad part. They are making a bundle because some weird people want to watch someone who is nothing but a breeding cow deal with wall to wall brats.

She also dumps all of the responsibility of the younger brats onto the older ones. Lazy piece of S*IT if you ask me. She needs to find another place to put her legs besides in the air or in stirrups.

And then there is that cow who had 8 kids all at once by that moron doctor (implanted embryos into her). She has a total of 14 kids for us taxpayers to support. Slutty bitch.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/27/2014 02:52AM by verilyverily.

There are so many TBMs that absolutely let their kids run wild. Maybe they're so overwhelmed with so many children, they tune them out.

The library near my home is one of the noisiest places ON EARTH. Mothers bring their broods (including crying infants or toddlers) and stand casually at the help desk, conversing with the librarian or loading up on children's books while their kids wail, scream, and run all over the place.

I remember when the library was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Speaking above a whisper was a cardinal sin, and librarians strictly enforced silence. Now, this library is a free-for-all. And some of the other noise is made by the parents of these children, yakking on their cell phones at the top of their lungs.

Good manners are pratically non-existent in the Morridor (at least in my little corner of it).