Recovery Board  : RfM
Recovery from Mormonism (RfM) discussion forum. 
Go to Topic: PreviousNext
Go to: Forum ListMessage ListNew TopicSearchLog In
Posted by: holytheghost ( )
Date: May 18, 2011 11:46AM

clearly pablum flavored fiction, but being passed around on facebook as a faith promoting story:

Don't leave it on the desk
There was a certain Professor of Religion named Dr. Christianson, a studious man who taught at a small college in the western United States .

Dr. Christianson taught the required survey course in Christianity at this part...icular institution. Every student was required to take this course their freshman year, regardless of his or her major.

Although Dr. Christianson tried hard to communicate the essence of the gospel in his class, he found that most of his students looked upon the course as nothing but required drudgery. Despite his best efforts, most students refused to take Christianity seriously.

This year, Dr. Christianson had a special student named Steve. Steve was only a freshman, but was studying with the intent of going onto seminary for the ministry. Steve was popular, he was well liked, and he was an imposing physical specimen. He was now the starting center on the school football team, and was the best student in the professor's class.

One day, Dr. Christianson asked Steve to stay after class so he could talk with him. " How many push-ups can you do? " Steve said, "I do about 200 every night." "200? That's pretty good, Steve," Dr. Christianson said. "Do you think you could do 300?" Steve replied, "I don't know.... I've never done 300 at a time" "Do you think you could?" again asked Dr. Christianson. "Well, I can try," said Steve. "Can you do 300 in sets of 10? I have a class project in mind and I need you to do about 300 push-ups in sets of ten for this to work. Can you do it? I need you to tell me you can do it," said the professor. Steve said, "Well... I think I can...yeah, I can do it." Dr. Christianson said, "Good! I need you to do this on Friday.. Let me explain what I have in mind."

Friday came and Steve got to class early and sat in the front of the room. When class started, the professor pulled out a big box of donuts. No, these weren't the normal kinds of donuts, they were the extra fancy BIG kind, with cream centers and frosting swirls. Everyone was pretty excited it was Friday, the last class of the day, and they were going to get an early start on the weekend witha party in Dr. Christianson's class.

Dr. Christianson went to the first girl in the first row and asked, "Cynthia, do you want to have one of these donuts?" Cynthia said, "Yes." Dr. Christianson then turned to Steve and asked, "Steve, would you do ten push-ups so that Cynthia can have a donut?" "Sure!" Steve jumped down from his desk to do a quick ten. Then Steve again sat in his desk. Dr. Christianson put a donut on Cynthia's desk. Dr. Christianson then went to Joe, the next person, and asked, "Joe, do you want a donut?" Joe said, "Yes." Dr. Christianson asked, "Steve would you do ten push-ups so Joe can have a donut?" Steve did ten push-ups, Joe got a donut.

And so it went, down the first aisle, Steve did ten push-ups for every person before they got their donut. Walking down the second aisle, Dr. Christianson came to Scott. Scott was on the basketball team, and in as good condition as Steve. He was very popular and never lacking for female companionship.. When the professor asked, "Scott do you want a donut?" Scott's reply was, "Well, can I do my own push-ups?" Dr. Christianson said, "No, Steve has to do them." Then Scott said, "Well, I don't want one then." Dr... Christianson shrugged and then turned to Steve and asked, "Steve, would you do ten push-ups so Scott can have a donut he doesn't want?" With perfect obedience Steve started to do ten push-ups.

Scott said, "HEY! I said I didn't want one!" Dr.. Christianson said, "Look! This is my classroom, my class, my desks, and these are my donuts. Just leave it on the desk if you don't want it." And he put a donut on Scott's desk. Now by this time, Steve had begun to slow down a little. He just stayed on the floor between sets because it took too much effort to be getting up and down. You could start to see a little perspiration coming out around his brow.

Dr. Christianson started down the third row. Now the students were beginning to get a little angry. Dr.. Christianson asked Jenny, "Jenny, do you want a donut?" Sternly, Jenny said, "No." Then Dr. Christianson asked Steve, "Steve, would you do ten more push-ups so Jenny can have a donut that she doesn't want?" Steve did ten.... Jenny got a donut.

By now, a growing sense of uneasiness filled the room. The students were beginning to say, "No!" and there were all these uneaten donuts on the desks.. Steve also had to really put forth a lot of extra effort to get these push-ups done for each donut. There began to be a small pool of sweat on the floor beneath his face, his arms and brow were beginning to get red because of the physical effort involved.

Dr. Christianson asked Robert, who was the most vocal unbeliever in the class, to watch Steve do each push up to make sure he did the full ten push-ups in a set because he couldn't bear to watch all of Steve's work for all of those uneaten donuts. He sent Robert over to where Steve was so Robert count the set and watch Steve closely.

Dr. Christianson started down the fourth row.. During his class, however, some students from other classes had wandered in and sat down on the steps along the radiators that ran down the sides of the room. When the professor realized this, he did a quick count and saw that now there were 34 students inthe room. He started to worry if Steve would be able to make it.

Dr. Christianson went on to the next person and the next and the next. Near the end of that row, Steve was really having a rough time. He was taking a lot more time to complete each set. Steve asked Dr. Christianson, "Do I have to make my nose touch on each one?" Dr. Christianson thought for a moment, "Well, they're your push-ups. You are in charge now. You can do them any way that you want." And Dr. Christianson went on.

A few moments later, Jason, a recent transfer student, came to the room and was about to come in when all the students yelled in one voice, "NO! Don't come in! Stay out!" Jason didn't know what was going on. Steve picked up his head and said, "No, let him come." Professor Christianson said, "You realize that if Jason comes in you will have to do ten push-ups for him?" Steve said, "Yes, let him come in. Give him a donut." Dr. Christianson said, "Okay, Steve, I'll let you get Jason's out of the way right now. Jason, do you want a donut?" Jason, new to the room, hardly knew what was going on. "Yes," he said, "give me a donut." "Steve, will you do ten push-ups so that Jason can have a donut?" Steve did ten push-ups very slowly and with great effort. Jason, bewildered, was handed a donut and sat down.

Dr Christianson finished the fourth row, and then started on those visitors seated by the heaters. Steve's arms were now shaking with each push-up in a struggle to lift himself against the force of gravity. By this time sweat was profusely dropping off of his face, there was no sound except his heavybreathing; there was not a dry eye in the room..

The very last two students in the room were two young women, both cheerleaders, and very popular. Dr. Christianson went to Linda, the second to last, and asked, "Linda, do you want a doughnut?" Linda said, very sadly, "No, thank you." Professor Christianson quietly asked, "Steve, would you do ten push-ups so that Linda can have a donut she doesn't want?" Grunting from the effort, Steve did ten very slow push-ups for Linda.

Then Dr. Christianson turned to the last girl, Susan. "Susan, do you want a donut?"

Susan, with tears flowing down her face, began to cry. "Dr. Christianson, why can't I help him?" Dr Christianson, with tears of his own, said, "No, Steve has to do it alone; I have given him this task and he is in charge of seeing that everyone has an opportunity for a donut whether they want it or not.. When I decided to have a party this last day of class, I looked at my grade book. Steve here is the only student with a perfect grade. Everyone else has failed a test, skipped class, or offered me inferior work. Steve told me that in football practice, when a player messes up he must do push-ups. I told Steve that none of you could come to my party unless he paid the price by doing your push-ups. He and I made a deal for your sakes." "Steve, would you do ten push-ups so Susan can have a donut?"

As Steve very slowly finished his last push-up, with the understanding that he had accomplished all that was required of him, having done 350 push-ups, his arms buckled beneath him and he fell to the floor.

Dr. Christianson turned to the room and said, "And so it was, that our Savior, Jesus Christ, on the cross, plead to the Father, 'Into thy hands I commend my spirit.' With the understanding that He had done everything that was required of Him, He yielded up His life. And like some of those in this room, many of us leave the gift on the desk, uneaten. "

Two students helped Steve up off the floor and to a seat, physically exhausted, but wearing a thin smile. " Well done, good and faithful servant," said the professor, adding, "Not all sermons are preached in words."

Turning to his class, the professor said, "My wish is that you might understand and fully comprehend all the riches of grace and mercy that have been given to you through the sacrifice of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. He spared not His Only Begotten Son, but gave Him up for us all, for the whole Church, now and forever. Whether or not we choose to accept His gift to us, the price has been paid." "Wouldn't you be foolish and ungrateful to leave it lying on the desk?"

By: LDS General Conference



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/18/2011 12:12PM by holytheghost.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Queen of Denial ( )
Date: May 18, 2011 11:52AM

I was hoping you could edit this with some paragraphs and spaces. It's very difficult to read in it's present format.

Thanks!!!

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: holytheghost ( )
Date: May 18, 2011 12:05PM

I just cut n pated from FB, but yes, I will.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: holytheghost ( )
Date: May 18, 2011 12:12PM


Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Queen of Denial ( )
Date: May 18, 2011 12:14PM

Stories like this make me gag. It takes me back to sickeningly sweet seminary object lessons. I still have anger issues about seminary...



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/18/2011 12:17PM by Queen of Denial.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: mossface ( )
Date: May 18, 2011 12:17PM

I think this is actually a better metaphor for the atonement than the original author intended. Thing is, there is no real reason Steve has to do push ups, other than the professor asked it.

Christ dying for our sins strikes me as much the same. I can't identify any clear reason why that would be necessary. Nor can I think of any reason why the atonement would right any of the wrongs I've done.

All told, it's an attempt at engaging our emotion, but for the life of me I can't figure out how it actually clears anything up. I don't understand the purpose or need for the atonement any better now than I did before reading it.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Queen of Denial ( )
Date: May 18, 2011 12:18PM


Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: themosthappy ( )
Date: May 18, 2011 12:59PM

I completely agree as well. It always seemed so totally pointless to me.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: EssexExMo ( )
Date: May 18, 2011 02:49PM

absolutely

+1

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Rebeckah ( )
Date: May 18, 2011 12:18PM

Sorry, I'd respond to this but I'm too busy vomiting.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: kriskarnage ( )
Date: May 18, 2011 12:27PM

^This

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Thread Killer ( )
Date: May 18, 2011 12:27PM

The Church of Dr. Christianson of Special Student Steve is true!!

Where do I send my 10%??

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Raptor Jesus ( )
Date: May 18, 2011 12:34PM

This will do nicely.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Truthseeker ( )
Date: May 18, 2011 12:36PM

pander, pander, pander to the lowest common denominator.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: axeldc ( )
Date: May 18, 2011 12:43PM

This encapusulated my entire problem with Xianity.

According to this story, handsome, perfect Steve had to do pushups for us to get a donut. Do we really need a donut? No, they are fattening and unhealthy, but that's beside the point.

Why does Steve have to do pushups? Because Prof. God told us so. Could Prof. God have given us the donuts without the push ups? Sure, but he had to make up an object lesson.

So, Jesus died to give us something we don't need that God could have given us if he weren't so busy trying to teach us all a silly lesson.

I still don't understand the need for a Messiah nor why God is bound to silly rules. If he's God, then he could just conjure all the donuts he wants and not make one of us suffer for the rest of us, and then make the rest of us feel guilty about it.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Rebeckah ( )
Date: May 18, 2011 12:44PM


Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Truthseeker ( )
Date: May 18, 2011 12:46PM

There is no need. God is just a particularly robust meme with an attendant mythology created by men seeking power.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: kriskarnage ( )
Date: May 18, 2011 01:01PM

axeldc Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
>
> So, Jesus died to give us something we don't need
> that God could have given us if he weren't so busy
> trying to teach us all a silly lesson.
.


Hilarious!

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: nwmcare ( )
Date: May 18, 2011 01:16PM

Now here's a story only a bulemic could love . . .

Probably the biggest reason you aren't getting anything from this is because if you are an atheist or a non-believer, what's the point of bothering with it?

The second biggest reason is because this sordid and nauseating little ditty (dear God it's awful!) was written by a Christian to teach the meaning of grace, how it is freely given whether a person wants it or not and not about the 'atonement'.

In orthodox Christianity, the kind that dates back to Jesus (think Father, Son and Holy Ghost, one God in three persons, not three guys in a grove) and not JS, Jesus died and rose from the dead that all mankind be free from sin and have eternal life. In Mormonism, Jesus 'atoned' for certain sins in the Garden of Eden. Blood atonement of sinners is necessary to cover those sins not included. Big difference in doctrines. So you can see why the story isn't making sense.

But again, if you are a non-believer, what's the point in even reading it?

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: bubbleboy ( )
Date: May 18, 2011 01:19PM

is that everything in religion is about getting you to respond emotionally to something that doesn't actually make sense.

And seriously, I had to throw up in my shoe.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: mrsraptorjesus ( )
Date: May 18, 2011 01:24PM

The QB of the football team was the one doing the push ups. He was a giant ass-hole to everyone in school except his 5 friends. He'd push the non-jocks into the lockers & trip the nerds while they were walking to the table holding their lunch. But, then in the seminary building he was 'such a good example and someone we should all be so proud of.' All the girls in my class -- especially the chubby ones who he'd NEVER talk to were sobbing during the pushups. Even some of the guys were teary-eyed. All except for me --- because QB was always an ass-hole!!!

At the time I thought it was the dumbest lesson I'd ever had & I still think it's stupid. I was the only one in class at the end of the 'object lesson' who still refused to eat their donut & I got a talking to by the Seminary teacher after class because I didn't "appreciate all the hard work QB did for me."

Seminary Teacher's argument was that if I couldn't accept QB's 'gift' to me how was I going to accept 'Jesus's Most Precious Gift?'

My response: "Well if Jesus is as big of an ass-hole when you're not looking as QB is... then I don't want any gifts from him!!"

I didn't go back to seminary that quarter-- the hour I would have been in class was breakfast time for me and my friends!

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Rebeckah ( )
Date: May 18, 2011 02:05PM

Seriously, guilt much? Passive/aggressive much? Manipulative much?

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: kimball ( )
Date: May 18, 2011 02:24PM

"so you intend for me to put something into my body that is clinically unhealthy out of gratitude for someone else making themselves stronger and getting in better shape? What did QB actually sacrifice?"

or

"I'm health conscious, I'm better off without it."

or

"you bought the donut for ten cents. He then bought it from you for ten-pushups, which is a mark-up. He then gave it to me for free. Why didn't you just give it to me for free in the first place? Are you not generous enough to forego the profit?"

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Queen of Denial ( )
Date: May 18, 2011 11:31PM

The stories we could swap. I have a story from my seminary days that still makes me livid if I tell it. Funny, it involves doughnuts, too...

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: amos2 ( )
Date: May 18, 2011 01:36PM

This is like the thousanth one I've seen.
Problem is, they STILL don't explain it.
The atonement remains an arbitrary abstraction.
A thing or two about Jesus...how's it "faith" that he died for us knowing he'd be back at his day job as eternal king of kings right after. It's an insult to all who really did die for us without any reward.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: mrtranquility ( )
Date: May 18, 2011 01:44PM

A royal f#ck-up like you should be ashamed of yourself!

Seriously, where is the justice in the Atonement? If you owed some money and your older brother paid your debt, justice would be done since the loaner is repaid. But if you kicked a puppy and God beat the hell out of your brother for it, there's is no justice and it makes God look like he's just wants to kick some ass cuz he's pissed and needs to sate his sadistic urges.

So the Atonement is a pecuniary solution to a moral problem which is actually no solution at all.

The Atonement is plain stupid. Thank you, Thomas Paine, for pointing this out to us.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Nonnie ( )
Date: May 18, 2011 02:14PM

The other students aren't rejecting the doughnut because they don't appreciate the professor's gift, they're rejecting it because they don't want it at the price of someone else's suffering. They're rejecting the professor's cruelty and capriciousness.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: summer ( )
Date: May 18, 2011 07:57PM

Nonnie Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> ...they're rejecting it because they don't want it at the price of someone else's suffering. They're rejecting the professor's cruelty and capriciousness.

Very Buddhist.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: tamm ( )
Date: May 18, 2011 09:44PM

summer Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Nonnie Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > ...they're rejecting it because they don't want
> it at the price of someone else's suffering.
> They're rejecting the professor's cruelty and
> capriciousness.
>
> Very Buddhist.

This last weekend, when my sister in law asked me about my stance on Christ as a Buddhist, this was practically my answer.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: WickedTwin ( )
Date: May 18, 2011 02:34PM

Thanks, holytheghost ;)

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: anagrammy ( )
Date: May 18, 2011 03:02PM

It is a perfect analogy--not of the atonment, but of the LDS missionary program.

Missionaries ordered to perform exhausting and heroic labors giving people:

something they don't want,

with little real nutritional value

which will hurt them in the long run


Fortunately, a lot of the students are leaving the room in disgust and warning others to stay out.


Anagrammy

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Rebeckah ( )
Date: May 18, 2011 08:03PM

If I ever have someone try something like this while I'm in the room, I'll leave in a huff. ;)

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: moira (notloggedin) ( )
Date: May 18, 2011 11:36PM


Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Don Bagley ( )
Date: May 18, 2011 10:20PM


Options: ReplyQuote
Go to Topic: PreviousNext
Go to: Forum ListMessage ListNew TopicSearchLog In


Sorry, you can't reply to this topic. It has been closed. Please start another thread and continue the conversation.