My TBM family is hosting an exchange student (male, 18 years old). We live in the Zion skid mark, so almost everyone here is Mormon. Of course, they immediately started trying to indoctrinate him. For example, they ask that he attends church, participate in family home evening and daily scripture reading, and all other church events in which they are involved. My parents arranged for him to meet with the missionaries. He has now heard all four discussions, and everyone is starting to pester him about baptism.

I was able to pull him aside and talk to him about this over the weekend. He said he is an atheist, but he does all of these things to stay on good terms with my family. (He is a very polite European.) However, he explained that he is now questioning his current non-belief, and he said he thinks it could be possible that the church is true.

I am torn. I feel like my family has taken advantage of this kid in a vulnerable position. Also, there is a slight language barrier, and there is no way he can fully understand what he is getting into anyway. On the other hand, he is 18 years old and very intelligent, and I don't think he will actually allow himself to be baptized. Should I try to talk to him about this more and explain how we know TSCC is false? Or should I let him make his own decision?

The sponsoring agency/company should be made aware of the situation. They usually have a contact person that should be watching over the situation (to make sure he's OK, etc.). I'd make sure at least that person was aware of the situation.

And yes, you should have a talk with him. Mention that there are things about LDS Corp that they're not telling him. Let him know about the "meat" (and that they're deliberately not telling him about these things). Give him information so that he can ask the right questions, and then he can see that they 1) won't like his questions, and 2) won't answer (or tell him the truth).

If the positions were reversed, wouldn't you want to have full disclosure before you made a life-altering decision?

Do unto others...

His exchange is not through a specific program. My father is a university professor, and one of his colleagues recruited the student to study here. Unfortunately, due to paperwork/visa issues, he cannot start school until next semester (January), when he will live in the dorms.

Still... what they're doing to him is inappropriate, unethical, and just plain wrong. He's just staying with you temporarily, so why try to screw up his life?

Your family could use this as an opportunity to learn about him and his culture, but instead they proceed to try to indoctrinate him into their cult. What a waste.

I still say that he should know the facts about the Corp.

BTW, what country is he from (if you don't mind...)? I'm from Europe, too.

He is from Germany

This is the same arrogance displayed by mormons on the Navajos when they yanked children away from the families to raise them as mormons and effectively alienate the children from their rightful families and culture.

If I were in the same room as your parents I'd have to be restrained from punching them in the snoot.

another guy Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> The sponsoring agency/company should be made aware
> of the situation. They usually have a contact
> person that should be watching over the situation
> (to make sure he's OK, etc.). I'd make sure at
> least that person was aware of the situation.
>
> And yes, you should have a talk with him. Mention
> that there are things about LDS Corp that they're
> not telling him. Let him know about the "meat"
> (and that they're deliberately not telling him
> about these things). Give him information so that
> he can ask the right questions, and then he can
> see that they 1) won't like his questions, and 2)
> won't answer (or tell him the truth).
>
> If the positions were reversed, wouldn't you want
> to have full disclosure before you made a
> life-altering decision?
>
> Do unto others...


DITTO...exactly.

I would think a good mormon family would do all their normal mormon stuff..Sunday church, FHE, meetings, etc....and INVITE the F.E.S. Foreign Exchange Student-ever wonder where the name came from the The 70's Show?).

They would EXPLAIN what they are doing and why without pressuring him/her to actually go.

He came here to experience and participate in life in A M E R I C A....not life in "The Bubble"


I would let the sponsoring agency know pronto and let them deal with it.

You might ask him if he would like to hear the other side from a former Mormon. You might also point out that even if he decides he is not an atheist, he certainly doesn't have to be a Mormon.There are plenty of choices out there and he shouldn't let people pressure him into a life changing decision. However, I wouldn't push him, but a heads up on Mormon tactics couldn't hurt.

That's a good idea. I just don't want to be putting any more pressure on him than he already has. Those mishies are SO manipulative.

He'll likely see the parallels straight away and make the right decision.

That's true, they are. You shout sit in on the lessons and ask the questions they're hoping will be avoided.

Contact the program that arranged the exchange and tell them. This is illegal I believe and most likely they will after talking with the student make a determination whether to let him stay in the home or move him to a different home. They have no right to interfere with the young man's belief - whatever it might be.

Your family has definitely taken advantage of him! Who would feel like they could say no, a thousand miles from home, to the people on whom you're dependent for food and shelter? I think you should intervene.

I am mortified to say that my family (me included) brainwashed a HS-aged exchange student into abandoning his faith and getting baptized while living with us for a school year. I was actually the one who dunked him. It didn't stick of course, but it caused a LOT of tears and anger, ruined friendships with his parents and siblings, etc. before he went back to his Catholic roots. It is wrong, wrong, wrong to do this to a foreign exchange student. By all means head it off at the pass if possible.

Tell him that they are a cult, using cult recruiting techniques, and that he needs to be VERY careful. Tell him he will be expected to do with out tea, coffee, alcohol, and sex. Most atheist European teenagers have done all of those things.

Tell your family to back the hell off too.

It's disgusting. He is NOT in any good state of mind to be making a decision of this magnitude.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/04/2011 11:04PM by bingoe4.

Thanks for all of the feedback. I will do my best to help fend them off. I also will need to have a talk with my family. I don't live with them anymore, but I'm 30 minutes away, so I hear enough and see bits and pieces. I would want someone to do the same for me.

It's just plain forbidden even with their real parents consent. Students may attend religious services with their host family, but are not at all obligated and cannot be forced to attend.

We've had several foreign exchange students. Most have attended LDS services a couple times with my TBM family and then opted out. Another attended regularly for social reasons. None were converted or interested and my TBM family would answer their questions, but made no attempts to indoctrinate them. As it should be.

EF is the exchange program that forbids acts of conversion while an exchange student. If that is the host organization for this student, the family should be reported and EF will issue a cease and desist and they will remove the student if their wishes are not honored.

I read something on another board that applies here.

Raised in a non-religious home, when the woman was overseas, she found herself caught up in the Catholic architecture, the prayer, and traditions. She wanted to convert. The priest told her to wait. Go back home. Attend mass in your own country, in familiar surroundings, in your own language. Get baptized, later if you're still drawn to the faith.

Smart man. She ultimately didn't convert. It's easy to get caught up in the feel-goods, and he's in a foreign land, away from home, away from family and his major support system. This is why Mormons want to dunk you so quickly - before you have a chance to stop and think for a minute. Before all the good stuff wears off.

If he still wants to be a Mormon after he gets home, after he attends church in his native country, he most certainly can do so. The Mormon church isn't going anywhere.

Outside of that, he should read up at Richard Packham's site for starters before he takes the plunge.

He is being abused by religious nuts! Protect him as best he can be protected. Explain how it is done by the Morgbots. BE a friend. His poor family....do they even know what Utah is like? Please help to save this exchange student and yes, do tell the sponsoring agency what is going on.

Please intervene!

Before you tell him the truth, tell him that, whether he believes you or not--he must wait until he gets home and discusses it with his parents. Try to convince him to write to his family in Germany and tell them EVERYTHING. I wonder if there is an ex-Mormon website in German, so his parents can get information about the cult.

Mormons are notorious for doing this to exchange students. If the exchange student's family doesn't have very much money, the Mormons promise a wealth of blessings, job connections, maybe an advantageous marriage with an eager temple Mormon seeking a partner.

Rehearse what you are going to say to the student. After all, the Mormon missionaries rehearse what they are going to say, over, and over, and over. Keep it brief, and simple, and easy to understand. Surely the truth is easier to understand, and the truth will explain your parents bizarre overly-intimate behavior towards him. The poor guy.

The exchange student is far from home, and vulnerable. Go ahead and give him the full picture.

You could point out that other Christian churches are far less intrusive should he feel religiously inclined.

I was in contact with a former exchange student who suffered this same kind of indoctrination at the hands of a mormon family.

He was also an atheist and was emotionally traumatized, suffering nightmares and flashbacks a year after returning home. He wrote to me about how "nice" the family was and how guilty he felt for not appreciating their well meaning efforts. But he felt he had missed experiencing American sights and culture because he'd wasted so much time in church and doing church discussions and family church oriented activities.

He had finally drawn a line and started attending only one or two meetings a week and hated it even though he sometimes thought there could be truth to it. Concerted brainwashing is hard to shake off.

These kids are being abused by mormons. The program directors need to know about it and the kids need someone to talk to so they can keep their heads on straight.

Intervene. Do it now.

By all means. They target the vulnerable, including an 18 year old in a foreign country.

Perhaps he would be interested in reading BuddyJoe's story since his family converted in Germany.

If I only had five minutes and one thing I could say, I would tell him that one of the scrolls Joseph Smith translated showed up and was donated to the Church. Scholars who now can translate Egyptian found that Joseph Smith was pretending he had that power. They found out he had been lying.

In addition, Joseph Smith told the story of the First Vision four times, with the earliest versions leaving out the presence of God and Jesus. It is obvious it was made up.

Finally, as Joseph Smith gained power, he went back and changed the revelations to give himself more power, add property and more "wives" to satisfy his personal desires. He ended up with thirty wives, some of them as young as fourteen years old.

Good luck!

Anagrammy

We hosted HS exhange student from Brazil a few years ago. The sponsoring program explicitly forbade a student from converting to another religion - even with parental permission.

Our student's family was greatly relieved to hear we weren't Mormon. However, we did hear stories about inappropriate religious pressure on students placed with Mormon families.

Read this about it happening to a student from Poland. The host family was not Mormon but the same shit.

http://www.spiegel.de/international/0,1518,448350,00.html

Mormonism is a damned cult. That student came for an education. He or she does not need the mind fuck.

Forestpal asked about an ex-Mormon site in German. I made a quick check and found two useful web links.

One is the German Wikipedia article on "Mormonentum" = Mormonism : http://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mormonentum . This is surprisingly good. It also mentions the Mound Builder myth, which is the basis for the BoM, and it mentions the different Mormon churches, like the "prairie Mormons" (Community of Christ and others), their relationship to normal Christian churches.

The other is http://www.mormonentum.de/ , which is a critical site (Anti), but very accurate that I can see. It has links, among others to http://www.ex-mormonen.de/ and to this site ("ours"). The "Links englische Seiten" can be interesting to Americans, too.

conversionary intent?

Send these links to him:

http://www.mormonismus-online.de/index.php?inc=links-mainframe.htm

Write his parents and tell them to get his ass out of there!

Ron

Sounds like he is not getting room to breathe. I was never into missionary work because of the "rush" factor. I always felt that the missionaries as well as everyone else involved brought up baptism too early in the process. I always like the idea that the person would approach the missionaries about baptism when they are ready. People hover around them and fall back a few months after baptism leaving the soul alone to think where did everyone go? The post-baptism support at the ward level can be sad at times. I served for nearly one year in the ward library with two spinsters after I was baptized. I served every Sunday for two hours - maximum coverage in case a high profile member needed an eraser. Some fit in and do fine while other just drift away without being noticed. Too much emphasis on numbers rather than long term results. I have heard of cases where people were drinking the day of their baptism just to get through it and in one case the missionaries had to sober-up the person. Just tell him to take time and that it is his decision and only his decision. I would be inclined to tell him to tell the missionaries and other not to ask him about baptism any longer and that he would bring it up when and if he is ready. That is free agency. Seems like too much pressure is inappropriate given the guy has a lot riding on being an exchange student. He may feel obigated and that is not right.

It is a good idea for him to talk to his parents and get some advice and support.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/05/2011 12:46PM by iamagodu.

YES, tell him the truth. He has a right to know and he is not their child.

Have him read the following websites:

http://packham.n4m.org/tract.htm
www.mormonthink.com
www.utlm.org

Tell him to keep your conversations with him private if you'd prefer it.