I was just reading subliminal's thread about the what is wanted and wondered how many of us ex-mos who never got our Jesus jammies. I left when i was 18/19, and resigned in '01. I learned about the temple oaths, ritiuals, and wedding ceremony back then (thanks to this site) and I was revolted and suprised at how the whole "mystery" and "sacredness" of the temple is sooo mundane and the clothes are ridiculous. So here's a few questions and my answers:

1.What made you leave before recieving your endowments?
For me, I wanted a normal young adult life. I was tired of being told what to do, wear, eat drink, read, watch, and I was only 18! I wanted to live my own life!
I was also very sickened when I found out about BY's racism and that was the final nail in TSCC's coffin for me.

2.Did you ever learn anything about the temple ceremony's since leaving? Obviously, because of this site.

3.What was the most shocking part of the ceremonies to you?
I was shocked when I read about the naked touching in the endowment ceremony. As a pagan at the time, ritual nudity didn't bother me, however, I was suprised that a church with so much emphasis on purity and modesty would have a nude rite. Also the blood oaths completely freaked me out.

4.Did you learn about the temple ceremonies before or after you left? I had a BF in HS whose parents left TSCC- He was trying to open my eyes about the temple ceremonies with some info- I was too brainwashed at 17 to read them.

I don't like feeling dominated and I didn't like the contradictions in doctrine and the flat smiley sameness of mormons.

I did know the temple was creepy from overhearing my mother and her friends talk about it in hushed tones. I saw her sewing temple clothes and examines them in detail when no one was looking. I was creeped out by dead dunking and didn't want to get into it more deeply.

I also didn't like garments. My parents wore the old style to the wrists and ankles.

I learned more about temple rites after leaving of course.

I was taken aback by pictures of the old saints in Missouri sitting naked in tubs all in a row. Also, the rumpled bed in the FLDS temple where a teen wife went through some kind of initiation ritual. Eeeww!

That proves to me that the various LDS sects and off-shoots are all Mormons, no matter what the LDS church itself says.

My brother did marry into the Allred group.

I attended several kind of mormon fundie groups while my parents were "investigating" them.

Cheryl, I think smiley sameness needs to be explored because there is definately something facial that lets you know a Mormon when you see one and I've never been able to figure it out.

"Keep sweet sister".

They actually verbalized this on Big Love. Not that I should take that as proof of anything, but if historically this was what women were told to do, it remains deeply embedded in the modern brighamite culture.
A lot of the women at church had the permanent almost-smiling expression, but it doesn't reach the eyes. In fact, they looked either very sad or very angry if you only looked at their eyes.

My mother wears the little Mona Lisa smile. I catch myself doing it, because she did try to make us "wear a pleasant expression at all times".


I prefer to be genuine, not putting up a facade. But that scares my mother, it might resemble a spirit of contention.

I hope the Missouri tubs were... Hot TUBS!
(did they also have a Sauna?)

I was BIC and left at the age of 43. Yet in all that time, I never did go to the temple. I was just never completely worthy since I was inactive on and off, didn't pay tithing due to financial issues, etc. But honestly, it was never a priority for me even as a TBM because always in the back of my mind something seemed off about it. I had a weird, nagging feeling that the temple was just not what it seemed. Now I am so glad I never did go.

I had that same feeling! I just found out about what goes on in there and I'm 35. I could have found out sooner but I KNEW it was going to be something that was just NOT okay with me. I was 100% correct! I never have wanted to go to the temple, not even as a primary child. I hated singing "I love to see the temple, I'll go inside someday" cuz I didn't want to, secret was scary... and for good reason. yuck!

I was disappointed to hear about what a temple wedding was really like when I prayed and nagged and hoped to get my husband worthy so we could be sealed. When I heard how unspecial the ceremony is and how you are run through there to make room for the next group, I felt disappointed after building it up in my mind to be so great. I never made it to the temple. Closest I got was seeing the Christmas lights and JS movie on level número UNO.

Itzpapalotl Wrote:
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> 1.What made you leave before recieving your
> endowments?
Wasn't old enough to get them and I found out it wasn't true, so I was out!


> 2.Did you ever learn anything about the temple
> ceremony's since leaving?
Yeah. Richard Packham's video was extremely helpful.


> 3.What was the most shocking part of the
> ceremonies to you?
The naked under the shield thing is the creepiest for me. Who wants some old person touching your naked body?

> 4.Did you learn about the temple ceremonies before
> or after you left?
After. No one would share with me before. So I surprised my family with my new found knowledge.

I left also at that age, never resigned. I had to decide on a mission and I actually kinda declared my own little war by deciding not to go and not letting the church beat me at life. Part of what may have given me perspective at this age is my younger sister's suicide attempt a few years earlier. She was a free spirit and faced a heavy handed discipline. It was a rough age in fact. It was the 80s. Kids were using all kinds of drugs and going berzerk. I didn't try drugs until after highschool. (who's counting, right?) But I was a free spirit though and just couldn't buy the whole story enough to teach it. I had to tell my successful prominent dad. It was hell. It still is hell. I'm 40 now. I have serious self-esteem problems. My parents are and have been great to me. Better than even necessary. It's just a case of disconnect. They are mormon, they probably deny the fact that I don't believe it at all and haven't for more than 20 years.

I was a pre-schooler when my parents converted."Our" temple was New Zealand- a long and expensive trip for a family in the '50's/'60's with one wage earner-all the way across Australia then hop the "ditch" to NZ. My father was continually passed over for High Priest/District or later Stake jobs & we were continually nagged about sacrificing to go to the temple, but it just wasn't possible.

20 years later, after I had graduated, I was guilted into paying for my parents to finally make the trip to NZ for all the endowment/marriage sealing stuff.It was not possible to explain to non-Mo friends or colleagues that I was going to my parents' wedding!I went as an intellectually on the fence, never really believed, barely active, dutiful child and was treated in the infantile way you are when you are sealed to your parents as an adult.

Don't know why I refused to take out my own endowment at that time-guess that goes down as a dodged bullet.

The whole experience,slight as it was , was so idiotic, bizarre & unbelievably false & irreligious. My gentle drift away from TSCC continued.

My parents became increasingly rabid & temple groupies serving multiple temple missions at the cost of their relationship with children & grandchildren.

The whole temple thing is such a complete crock of sh..., I'm glad I didn't tread right into it !

Itzpapalotl Wrote:
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> 1.What made you leave before recieving your
> endowments?

Just church felt icky enough. I had better role models in a freaking comic book. That's how shallow TSCC is.


> 2.Did you ever learn anything about the temple
> ceremony's since leaving?

Through links here, and what a let down! Supposed to be a holy experience, but it couldn't be.more mundane.

> 3.What was the most shocking part of the
> ceremonies to you?

It's a toss up for me, naked touching or women veiling their faces. I wouldn't have stood for either of these things. I would have either made a scene or been one of the rare ones to walk out.
I left home to be homeless rather than tolerate being stuffed on a dress and subjected to church one more time. I don't know where I got the guts, but it was made clear to me that I was property up until I turned 18, after which I had vowed never to take shit from anyone. A veil is total shit, I would not have played along.

> 4.Did you learn about the temple ceremonies before
> or after you left?

After.

I would have been making a scene right next to you. Not knowing what to expect and then they tell you to take off all your clothes? NO effin way! I would have left right then and there. IF they had gotten me past that part, I would have died laughing at all the other ridiculous stuff! No way I'd veil my face. LOL. Password to get into heaven??? HAHAHHAA I would have been rolling on the floor laughing for sure by then if I already wasn't looking at everyone in stupid aprons and silly hats.
~new names? special handshakes?

I SERIOUSLY WANT TO KNOW HOW SO MANY PEOPLE ARE SO OKAY WITH THAT??? Esp all the prude overly modest members? ew!

I was a lot like you =) I think we were even in the same stake in Colorado Springs if I remember right (someone from here was in my stake...maybe I have you mixed up with someone else.) I left at 18 the day I moved out of my parents house.
>
> 1.What made you leave before recieving your
> endowments?

Probably because I was always embarrassed about being Mormon. When I got to college I had no desire to attend church anymore--I went twice when I got the hankering, but that was it. It wasn't a lifestyle I wanted. I knew I never wanted to wear garments, even from the time I was a little kid. My mom said it was something I would get used to and you "just do it" but I never had any desire. Never wanted to date Mormon boys--we didn't have much in common. Never wanted a temple wedding even after all the YW propaganda. I never saw myself with 5 kids sitting in the same pew every Sunday. It wasn't for me so when I got out on my own I drifted away. Resigned the day before I got married in 2009.
>
> 2.Did you ever learn anything about the temple
> ceremony's since leaving? Obviously, because of
> this site.

My parents hinted at some of it over the years--now that I've got a much clearer picture thanks to RFM, they actually gave me quite a bit of info without actually telling me anything. If I had gone through the endowment ceremony, I would have wanted to run out screaming, but would have gone through with it because that's what good Mormon girls do. My dad always said that you don't get married and take out your endowments on the same day because its too overwhelming--and he was right!
>
> 3.What was the most shocking part of the
> ceremonies to you?

The whole ceremony was shocking. I always expected the temple to be this beautiful spiritual place (something like in a yoga video) but it doesn't sound like there's any time for reflection in there, and that you don't really learn anything new every time you go. People in Sacrament meeting talk about the great revelation they had in the Celestial room but it doesn't sound like they give you enough time to sit and ponder...that's probably the most shocking part--that people don't get all the time they want to sit in the Celestial room.
>
> 4.Did you learn about the temple ceremonies before
> or after you left?

Mostly after I left, but like I said above, my parents were pretty good about dropping hints. If I had stayed, I probably would have asked a girlfriend what the deal was before I went through.

1.What made you leave before receiving your endowments?
I wanted to know about the temple ceremony and what I was getting into before making the trip to the temple. I had done the dead-dunking thing and nothing felt special about being at the temple or the ordinance other than having to hold my breath for longer than necessary. It's an ordinary building. I've seen hotels in NYC that look and feel better.

2.Did you ever learn anything about the temple ceremony's since leaving? Yes. I learned before, during, and after the exit process.

3.What was the most shocking part of the ceremonies to you?
The changes to the ceremony was the most shocking "part". This is supposed to be a restoration ordinance that has been changed for obvious PR reasons. God don't work like that...

4.Did you learn about the temple ceremonies before or after you left? Like I said previously - before, during, and after. I learned the most after because the blinders were fully off and I felt zero guilt in going after the truth be damned what ever truth is.

Itzpapalotl Wrote:
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>
> 1.What made you leave before recieving your
> endowments?

I was miserable as a mormon, and loved beer and sex enough to risk going to hell.


>
> 2.Did you ever learn anything about the temple
> ceremony's since leaving?

I learned by reading the home page on this site, and stared slack jawed at the screen as I read.

>
> 3.What was the most shocking part of the
> ceremonies to you?

How absolutly stupid the whole thing is. I don't know what I expected it to be but I expected a lot more than secret handshakes, and ugly hats. I had been told my whole childhood how "once I had my endowments everything would make sense and all the pieces would fit..." There are far more intellegent people than me who due to the "Emperors New Clothes" thing buy into this crap, but I honestly think I would have called "bullshit" and walked out laughing if I had of made it that far...


> 4.Did you learn about the temple ceremonies before
> or after you left?

After. I had no clue.

I knew absolutely nothing about the temple at that time. Over the past 12 years I have learned something about it from rfm.

The whole temple thingie is simply another way for TSCC to extort money from its members. According to the cult, you must go to the temple (to be a good member and get to the top-level in heaven), to do that you must have a recommend, to get that you must pay a full tithe. Just another scam that the master-con-man J. Smith dreamed up to lighten the members' wallets.

use your imagination gals...

I was a convert, but like many converts, I quit going before I was eligible to go to the temple. What made me leave was that I didn't like that I was already treated as a second class citizen because I had the wrong genitalia, and I dreaded the thought of wearing regulation underwear. Since my ex turned out to be abusive, the thought of being with him for eternity seemed like my version of hell.

I heard tiny bits about the temple ceremony before I joined, but didn't realize everything that went on until after I quit going to church.

The thing that disturbed me was that as a woman, I would have had to veil my face before prayers, and that some stranger would touch my naked body during the "washing and anointing" portion of the ceremony.

While I had some idea of what the temple ceremonies were, I didn't know the full extent of them until after I had left.

I managed to cajole my Dad and the SP into getting ordained as an elder (thought it was important enough to quit beer and cigs for a month)....and then never went to one elders quorum meeting...never went on a mission... haven't been to the temple (Cardston) since my kid brother and I got sealed to the folks in 1960 or so....and have learned more on this site about temple ordinances and the horrors of temple weddings than I ever thought I would....thanks everyone for enlightening me!!!

In hind sight, I've had one foot out my entire life no matter how hard I tried to believe BUT... couldn't yank my other foot out fast enough when I learned about everything that happens when someone takes out their endowments in the temple!! That whole 'sacred not secret' crap is exactly that!

~What I can't understand is how ANYONE stayed after they had to do that stuff in the temple, esp pre-1990. I look at every endowed memeber, including my family, and can't even respect them for letting someone do that to them after being taught their entire life about inappropriate touching, rituals and not to keep secrets. WTH? Everything about it is disturbing and blows my mind!

>
> 1.What made you leave before recieving your
> endowments?
I was an adult hormonal convert in the late 70's and though curious about this Temple business I wasn't all that desperate to go see one for any reason. As mentioned in another thread, the 70's were a time of change for the Mormon Church as it moved from the glorification of intelligence and reason to the glorification of blind obedience. Being the rational sort, as the irrationalists took over I left.
> 2.Did you ever learn anything about the temple
> ceremony's since leaving? Oh yeah. With the internet I've learned about the whole Temple ritual in its many historical variations.
> 3.What was the most shocking part of the
> ceremonies to you?
I was surprised to find that these allegedly eternal and divinely revealed rituals were simply transparent creations of the times when they were created with a lot of plagiarism of Masonic ritual and then elimination of the Masonic portions when folks began to realize just how plagiarized the Mormon rituals were.
> 4.Did you learn about the temple ceremonies before
> or after you left? I learned most of what I know about the Temple rituals after I left through the internet. Again, I wasn't that interested in the Temple before I left. I was interested in dating Mormon women.

Otremer Wrote:
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> As mentioned in another thread, the 70's
> were a time of change for the Mormon Church as it
> moved from the glorification of intelligence and
> reason to the glorification of blind obedience.
> Being the rational sort, as the irrationalists
> took over I left.
You hit the nail on the head for me. I transferred to YBU as a junior under this supposition, that the the glory of God is intelligence and the church honored this precept. I sure learned fast the reality of what TSCC is like in the MorCor. I was so glad when I left after graduation and headed back East to reality.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/14/2011 04:48PM by imalive.

1. Non-belief! I have been worldly, religious, and Mormon, and of the three I think I cared less about what offend God when I was Mormon. No lie! I didn't care if I ever stepped in a Mormon temple...

2. I read a few anti-mormon books, but I have never questioned or been told anything face to face. I didn't care enough to ask...

3. Baptism for the dead and forever marriages really turned me off because it is clearly not taught it the bible. (MATT 22)

4. Still don't know about the ceremonies really, I know they aren't of God like they claim, and that is enough for me. So, I still don't care...



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/14/2011 04:28PM by seamaiden.

It started when I went away to college. Being surrounded by all these young mormons got on my nerves. They got offended at us when we did anything against the rules, like when we skipped mormon church to visit the cathedral. I didn't want to turn into all the rm's who lived in the dorm that were just trying to get married. A year after I started college I started looking up "mormon lies" and was led to here and other websites.

Love this thread, it makes you wonder how many tbm's are really freaked out by the temple but keep going anyway. I remember looking through a book with pictures of the temple when i was a teen and thinking that i shouldn't be looking, afterall it was secret, right? I also did a tour as a teen when a new one opened but had no desire to just a few years back when a new one went up near me. secret house of handshakes, freak show. no thanks.