I am in my late 20's. I was raised in the church, rebelled as a teenager, and came back to serve a mission when I was 19. I threw myself willingly into the bubble and suspended all my disbelief. (Pretty easy to do in the mission environment). I came back home and kept it up, marrying a very faithful churchgoing girl a couple years later in the temple.

Two years into my relationship, the doubts that I had been sweeping under the rug for so many years started to get to me. I began doing some research, talking to friends/family about it, etc. After months of this and more than a few eye-opening epiphanies, I finally came to the conclusion that the church WASN'T all it was cracked up to be. I gradually stopped going to church, stopped wearing garments, and started enjoying the occasional libation with friends. I kept my wife informed about everything I was going through from square one, but she was definitely not happy about it.

The first year after my official "break" was pure hell, as the two of us tried to figure out what to do. After a lot of long conversations, we decided that we cared enough about each other to try to work it out. Ever since then we've been in this weird state of limbo. We get along fine on the day-to-day level, but there's always this giant elephant in the room that wakes up whenever we talk religion or when I want to go have a drink with friends...

And the biggest issue for us now is children - she still really wants a kid, and I'm not even sure I want one at ALL, especially in our rather unstable situation.

I honestly don't know if I can see a future for the two of us. I feel horrible for what I've put her through, and I feel ashamed that I let myself just go along with the church's plan for so long. I should have been more honest with myself. But I'm trying to make the best of it now.

I would greatly appreciate any insights from those who have found themselves in similar situations. What did you do??

Hold off on having children until you know whether your marriage is going to work out and whether she will end up staying in the church or exiting with you.

I've been married 20 years with two kids. My husband often says he wishes I had figured out my disbelief in the church before we got married in the temple 20 years ago and he'd committed to me.

Yeah, I wish too.

You and your wife seem to be in an uneasy truce right now.If you bring a child into this, it the truce will break.

I was a wild teenager too, and refused to look at it like I was a horrible sinner. I learned about what type of person I wanted to grow up to be. So, I agree with "Provo Girl" if your wife expects you to tow the Mormon line, but you need to have more talks at this point.

Show interest in her by asking alot of questions about what she wants for your future together. I'm guessing you married a Mormon because you thought you could count on certain behaviors. She's expecting certain behaviors from you! So, you need to make new rules for the marriage outside of Mormonism. If you learned anything from your wild stage, you might think you got something from your Mormon stage to build from.

My advice is respect eachother's differences while you learn what you have in common.