I grew up in the lds church my entire life(now 20), i nearly always felt depressed & guilty (ages 12 - on) over thoughts that i had as a child. I experienced deep intense social anxiety through my teens, and decided to take matters into my own hands and study cognitive behavioral therapy.

The further i delved into cbt, the more i realized how irrational my thoughts had been(one of the key points of cbt). Long story short i learned the church's stance on rationality( emotion > rationale). After a year long battle i'd decided that 'i may or may not go to hell for my sins' & that i no longer wished to attend the lds church, or further attempt to make "ammends" for my "sins".

SO at this point, i've told my family(all mormons) that i have no intention of serving a mission, or attending their church. I wish to get on with my life, by leaving. NOW i can't say i've fully read the damn book, but i DO know how the church has made me feel the majority of my life.

i want to set up an appointment with the current bishop & let him know i have all the intention of leaving.

any tips or support from people my age, or anyone who's gone through this?

I'm a nevermo (never LDS) but some exmos will answer your question but I just want to say that I'm completely impressed by your studying your way out! "emotion > rationale" is spot on!

Congrats, thesiren!

Get ready for crushing pressure from all the mormons in your life. Oh to be 20 and know what I know now.

I would ignore everything they say, don't meet with them and start implementing plans for a bright independent future without any made-up religion. Mormonism was a leech. It sucked my time and financial resources. They like to characterize it as something else, but at the end of the day, they are all being fleeced. Some people can be happy in ignorance, I could not. The truth is unpleasant at first but oh so liberating. It takes courage to leave and own your life but you won't regret it unless you are more like the guy in the Matrix that wants the blue pill back.

^^ that wasn't very helpful (lol)

But my parents & siblings know were i stand.

all that stand's in my way is the lds church & the fact they have my name on file and a picture of me on a chalkboard

I also resigned from the church in my '20s. I wrote a letter directly to the church president at the time, stating my reasons for leaving and directing that my name be elminated from the roles immediately. In return, I got what I thought was a very threatening letter from the 'head office'in SLC. It stated that my actions voided my baptism, and that I was going to 'suffer the eternal consequences' of my actions. I was so angry I ripped up the letter and threw it in the trash, although I now wish I had kept it! Perfect proof that I made absolutely the correct decision.

By the way, my current religion honors my original baptism and believes that it can't be 'taken away'. Refreshing...

Having previously lived/worked in Orem, and now elsewhere, I have found the church to be cultlike, bigoted and narrow minded. Leave and be free!! There are other, better options! :)

Just send your resignation letter to SLC and copy the bishop if you want. You can state that your decision is immediate and final and say you don't want contact from locals if that's your wish.

Some exmos do like to meet with the bish to air their complaints. That's up to you.

You are an adult, a free citizen.

Do whatever you desire. The have absolutely no control over you. The bishop is just a man with a made-up title.

I would not allow them any authority over my life by attending any meaningless meetings with the bishop or anyone else that they may dream up, including with their made-up "Profit".

Just leave and get on with your life. Give them so much F*** Y** attitude that they will not dare to approach you, let alone allow you into church.

Again, just do what you want.

Is this the info you're after?

http://www.exmormon.org/remove.htm

Instead, I feel like I wasted most of the adult years of my life. Kudos to you for gettin' out. Now you can live your life.

Resigning from the LDS church is a court-won civil right.
It's the civil way to cast your vote, and walk away like a good sport.
DON'T pick fights.
DON'T go meet with the bishop.
You're an adult, a citizen, and the church will ONLY belittle you in ANY dialogue you have with them. Don't be an audience to their drivel...just resign and walk away.
your resignation letter need not give ANY reasons...they don't read them anyway.
Just state that you resign and are no longer LDS, then get on with your adult life making reasonable decisions.

You've Already Started, by coming here.

ditto the above posts.

Mormonism CAN'T STAND individuality, it's all about being a Clone, a Robot, a Simon Says, Cookie-cutter cog in their wheel.

If you continue with them, they've ALREADY got your life laid out for you, including an image of your friends & spouse, when-where-what to worship, what to do with your $, etc etc etc.

IF you thrive on a highly-structured 'life', GO FOR IT, Mormonism is For You!

I'm presuming you are 18 and an adult.

You've made a clear start. If you don't want to be a member and want to resign your membership it's easy to do. Some resign their membership, so do not.


Here is contact info.
Here is the Phone And Fax Number:
Member Records Division
801-240-2053 - Phone
801-240-1565 - Fax
1-800-453-3860 ext 22053 - Toll Free
Email:
dodgegw@ldschurch.org

To find local ward/stake use this link:

http://lds.org/maps/index.jsf

You can do it by email. All they need is your name, your birth date and address. The local bishop may contact you but there is no requirement to meet with him unless you want to.

Then, get on with your life and make your own decisions and choices.

Some families can handle someone leaving rather easily, many cannot. In many cases, it can get very nasty and ugly.

Best wishes to you.

To thesiren:

I am going to give you the best advice that I can. At 20 years of age, you
>Do not meet with any church official or priesthood leader for any reason
>Do not get into any religious discussion with anyone
>Finish your education, get a good job, and get out on your own
>Put that "10%" in a savings account
>Buy a good disability policy that you own (not your employer)
>Look to your future and not to your past
>Forgive yourself and learn from your experiences
>Love yourself
>It is better to have no friends than to have bad friends
>Be very careful who you invite into your car, your home and your life
>Be careful whose home you go to or car you get into
>There are many more, but these should get you started...

If you feel like you need a moral code to live by to replace the Mormon fantasmagorical space trillium theory, here is a simple one in a book so small you can keep it in the bathroom.

THE FOUR AGREEMENTS by Don Miguel Ruiz

Best

Anagrammy

PS. Imagine you wasted your life and then were given the opportunity to go back to when you were 20, before your mission, before marrying for duty, before you dedicated your life and energies to building up a corporation that didn't end up giving a rat's ass about you and your family.

That's you now. Make the best of it--:)

Anon, nice work. Really like your points here.

Thesiren, I agree with the posts above. Don't meet with your bishop unless you're dying to get the attention. He'll never drop everything and say, "You know, you're right! This church thing really IS dumb, isn't it?" Instead, you'll get the hard sell, a heaping of guilt, and you'll invariably be the topic of gossip at the next PEC meeting.

Congrats on the decision. Church leaders only have as much control over you as you allow them to have. But, you've probably figured that out as a student of CBT. I know it's a four-letter word, but the church is truly a "cult". Congrats again.

do i need access to the date i was baptized? cause i haven't the slightest idea.

thesiren Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> do i need access to the date i was baptized? cause
> i haven't the slightest idea.

NO. Just your birth date.
See "Leaving The Mormon Church: How To Get Out" at http://packham.n4m.org/leaving.htm

Send your letter NOW - the moment they receive it, your membership is ended.

I endorse others' advice: DO NOT agree to meet with the bishop (or any other church leaders): they will just try to change your mind and suck you back in. If they try to set up an appointment, simply tell them you are no longer a member of their church.

as far as them having a photograph of me, in the bishops office(last i recalled), is that legal?

Why do they have a photo of you in the bishops office?

And yeah it probably is legal unless you own the rights to it which you probably don't.

well its a group shot of the "young men" about 4 or so.

Great advice on here. Don't give any power to anyone other then yourself. I never met with anybody. I set myself free and that was it.

Why not just leave? I know it may be difficult to do that but if you go talk to the bishop, he will just make you feel guilty and will never see things from your point of view.

You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. How awesome that you can live your life free of the cult.

On this the oddest day of the year- it's Leap Yr. you are taking the leap. Very impressed. And it does seem you have studied and realized that they can say... pray.. and you will get a feeling, but you can say I get a feeling every day I am around Mormons or in an LDS church and it ain't good.

Being young you are about to enter a wide wonderful world full of opportunities. Don't even bother to talk to the bishop unless it would soothe your mom and dad. To be free of all the demands of the LDS faith will certainly make you a better person and a more caring person who interacts with the population at large....not just Mormons. Show your family how it can be done. And wow....so glad you WON'T be going on a mission. YOU are one smart person.

I just realized that I am officially an old fart. Wow..to be where you are at 20.

One little piece of unsolicited advice. Leaving is a process. A year from now you will look back and realized that. One of the pieces that will very likely change is your feeling that you need to "tell" your "bishop" ANYTHING. This is not his decision. It is yours.

Mormonism is like a multi-level marketing program. You have decided you don't want to sell soap, or pills, or cosmetics or jesus. Why would you tell the people still in the program?

IN THE REAL WORLD...folks just do what they want and realize that spending time with wackadoodles is a waste of time. But hey at 20 we ALL thought we had enough time to waste. In a while you will begin to realize how great life can be on your own terms and will be too busy to bother.

Good luck kiddo

^^ lol obvious mormon is obvious.

Repeat 10 times a day:

"The Mormon cult has no power over me!"

As other posters have written, the power of the Mormon Priesthood is all made up. It is a hoax.

Tread Mormonism like any other religion--simply walk out the door. Other religions respect your freedom of religion. Mormonism is a cult, and does not. You are not BOUND by their silly rules anymore. You do not OWE them anything; they owe YOU for all your tithing and time.

I wrote a formal letter of resignation for my self, because I wanted to. I have it in my file to show anyone who wants to know exactly why I left (no one has dared to ask, and it has been 5 years). But, really, you do not have to explain your religious beliefs to anyone. "Religion should not be an issue in relationships," and that's a quote from my GA relative.

When you are given a hard time, just remember, you have RIGHTS. Quote that Article of Faith (#11?) that says you have a right to worship what, when, and where you may, or something like that.

Yes, it's all lies. Congratulations for seeing that, and for recovering your sanity.

Imagine how pissed off you would be if you waited until you were 40 to grow a pair & get out.

Hey, I am in my mid twenties. I served a mission, but I love research and on my mission dove into the church history books at the Institute on my P-days and in combination with what I learned along with the negative feelings the church had always made me feel towards myself AND other people (so judgmental) I left the church right after I got home at 21. I just stopped going and I haven't looked back. I emailed Greg Dodge and had my name removed about a year and a half ago. Best decision I've ever made! Whoever TAGY is on here is obviously a TBM and it's a shame they are still entangled in it all and obviously thinks anybody who leaves is leaving to "sin", haha! TAGY, YOU ARE CRAZY!!!! Most people leave simply BECAUSE they realize IT'S NOT REAL, but a FRAUD. And once you KNOW this you cannot deny it. You won't regret YOUR decision. It is YOUR life I would suggest NOT talking to a bishop about any of it, but I understand your initial thoughts of thinking you need too. But I would say stay clear of any contact with any leaders in the church because they will do nothing but try to get you to come back and make you feel GUILTY. Of course, your family may or may not disown you. But from the sound of it, it sounds like they won't disown you (which is actually really great for TBM's!) Keep following your gut feelings and do research. I read all of the Journal Of Discourses books, if you're in Utah County they have them at Orem Public Library and I just read a bunch of other books PUT OUT BY THE CHURCH and put it all together that it is a complete scam/fraud. If you want more info on what I found just let me know. I really want to help you out. You sound a lot like me a few years ago. The freedom to THINK for yourself is priceless.

For any NORMAL church all you'd have to do is nothing.

The regular way to get out of a church is to stop going. I attended the annual congregation's meeting of a Presbyterian church once. They handed out some typed pages to anyone who entered (I was not a Presbyterian, much less a member of THIS congregation). On the pages was the information that they figured the congregation needed to know including full financial statement and the number of members added and, interestingly the number of members DROPPED for not having attended for a year.

Mormons baptize some schmuck in Venezuela after 3 discussions. He attends twice and decides, nah, this isn't for me, and never goes back. He gets married, has kids, the kids grow up and get married they have kids and suddenly someone shows up on his doorstep saying he's a member of their church. What? Then the faint memory of a short period in his life when he was 19 comes back--oh yeah, you guys STILL have me listed as a member? No, I quit 50 years ago.

That's the way it would work in a church.

That's not how it works in a cult.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/11/2012 01:37PM by baura.

I wouldn't worry about the picture unless you think the bishop will do voodoo on it.