I took off my G's a week or two ago. Since doing so I have felt incredibly lonely. I've been afraid to tell my family or my in-laws, so I haven't yet. I did go on a camping trip with my inlays (well, camping? we stayed in KOA cabins) and the whole time my stress level was really high because I didn't want them to find out but I wanted to tell them at the same time. I all of a sudden feel very distanced from my wife. Before I took them off I talked with her and she came back and told me that she was supportive of me although she didn't like my methods for soul searching. After I took them off i'm all of a sudden walking away from things and it's a lot more painful for her. I haven't talked about it at work because I don't want to get into the details of why I decided to leave (it wasn't historical issues for me --I found those after-- but it was just the fact that I realized the doctrine wasn't helping me but that it was hurting me) so I don't feel like people will really be able to understand and that they'll just think i'm a slacker and that I wasn't trying hard enough. It seems like i'm projecting my old beliefs on other people, really they just won't care. Since taking them off I have been remembering the things that I did like about church, ... mostly the few social aspects that I enjoyed. I was hoping that just taking the step and removing my garments would free me and let me move forward, but I feel more entrenched than ever. Why can't I just slip away? Why do I feel the need to gouge out my wound by announcing to everybody that I left and why I left, as if they will all realize that I was right to do what I did and all of a sudden have a great respect for me? I wish that was the case, but I fear that they'll all just be sad (the people I care about anyway). That's part of what I'm trying to do though, is let go of needing other people to validate that i'm doing what's right, but it sure feels like things got a lot harder, ... and nothings changed for anybody else! It's all in my own damn mind!

Goat - I went through many of the same feelings and experiences. It gets much better.

Just keep telling yourself, it's only other Mormons that care, non-LDS people don't care about your underwear and never have. They will look at you oddly if you even bring it up because it is such a personal thing. I admit I felt a little weird taking them off too--I thought everyone could tell and I was abandoning all, the good and bad. My dh even asked if I was cheating on him...I wasn't btw. Sigh, after awhile I realized it was no big deal though, the only people who cared were other Mormons, it's one of those sticks they beat you with. You can be a good person and still like the good things about church without wearing garments. My gosh, it's only underwear! Anyone who judges you by your underwear has much more serious problems.

You could always go garments lite to get started. Buy Fruit of the Loom white undershirts. All the Mormons will assume that they are garments.

Discussing your religious beliefs at work is NEVER a good idea. Be careful.

Whether or not you wear garments is up to you. It might be wise to go slow until you have all your feelings sorted out.

It sounds as though your thinking is on the right track, but it's difficult to sort through the rational vs the irrational. Have you considered counseling to help you through the process?

wow, by the time I quit wearing garments I was already so pissed off about the church/ LDS BS that what other ppl thought didnt matter to me one bit. be glad you didnt wait that long to get rid of the damn things.

the women in this City Creek Center ad certainly isnt concerned about having any garments on, neither is marie osmond or the christus statue.......


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLN1ItJ5sQs

Thanks for all the responses!

-You could always go garments lite to get started. Buy Fruit of the Loom white undershirts. All the Mormons will assume that they are garments.

My wife doesn't want me to wear white undershirts because she feels like it's cheating. I haven't pushed it yet (although I could, it's kind of weird not wearing undershirts, but i'm realizing that they do serve a purpose :P) Mostly she won't let me hide which is ok.

I have been going slow for a long time, I decided I finally needed to take action, which is what is happening now and I'm forced to work through things that I have been afraid of. It's good but it puts me on edge at the same time.

I have considered counceling, I just haven't gotten around to finding out more about it yet.

I still wear t-shirts most of the time. After 20 years of wearing garments it feels weird/uncomfortable not to have one on. I don't really care if people assume they are garments or not.

ronas Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I still wear t-shirts most of the time. After 20
> years of wearing garments it feels
> weird/uncomfortable not to have one on. I don't
> really care if people assume they are garments or
> not.

It's the same for me. A dress shirt with nothing under it feels strange to me now.

My wife followed me out, but in her background out of Utah all guys wore white undershirts with dress shirts, she likes me to wear them. Works for both of us, but when I fold them I love that they don't have nipple symbols.

You probably feel lonely, not because of not wearing garments but because no one around you is on your page. It isolates you. You are making an important and brave step to stand for truth in the face of adversity. Rosa Parks probably felt alone when she chose not to give up her seat for a white passenger. Everyone was watching but she did the right thing. It showed people going with the status quo isn't always the right thing. Goat, you are making a VERY important stand!!! STAND UP! Its hard, I know because you feel alone. But you AREN'T! We are all trying to free ourselves and hopefully others we love, from this sham.
I am preached at in underlying Mormon tones at least twice a week by my husband. And I feel alone too because he thinks I am spiritually bereft now and I'm not. But he thinks now anything I believe is the wrong thing. It gets VERY lonely. But there are those who understand me and are going through the very same thing.
If you do go back to your faith, you would soon be reminded why you last chose to leave it.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 03/27/2012 11:59AM by suckafoo.

Maybe your family does. I had been inactive a long time when my family members started asking me why I still wore garments. I talked to my exmo therapist and he told me about this board. I did a search and found some old threads about garments. Then I read about the temple names. I laughed until I cried.

I actually feel free without them--AND cooler. That extra layer of clothing made me miserable.

When I was little I had a goat named Alice.
I adored her. Reading your online name reminded me of her.

I liked her because she always did what felt wonderful to her.
Her favorite thing was to climb up a series of small buildings until she was on top of a two story barn. If you were driving by you couldn't tell how she got up there, you could just see a little black and white goat outlined against the sky. I would tell little kids that she had special powers, and she could fly, that's how she got on top of the barn.

Nobody cared how she got there, they were just amazed she did. I wish I had a picture to show you.

the point is, she did what felt wonderful for her. Others were at first shocked, then amazed, and then looked forward to seeing what she would do next. Some people actually believed she could fly. People love to watch acts of courage, even if they don't understand them. So many people adored that little goat for doing what came natural to her.

I only told you about alice because of your screen name. Maybe you will see a metaphor in there for yourself.