Posted by:
anagrammy
(
)
Date: April 16, 2012 07:55PM
This is the key right here.
I'll bet your wife has never masturbated. Until she is free enough to play with herself and be relaxed enough to enjoy "feeling" lusty, she will never be able to get there in front of you.
I know this is an odd way to put it, but an orgasm is an inside job with many components that have to all be in place. Some of these are very basic--anything that breaks concentration, like the voices of children banging around downstairs, etc.
I was anorgasmic until I left my first husband, the alcoholic. I was so fearful of his unpredictable reaction I could never relax. I never had an orgasm until I took a lover the following year. And then BAAAAMMMM! BUT - I was a head-hanging masturbator from age 5, so that meant I was comfortable with feeling lusty.
I hope you're understanding that the wife needs some low level erotica and maybe some old Playboys where the poses are erotic but not looking like a woman ready for gynecological surgery, if you get my drift. She needs to get into the erotica enough to look at the pictures and say in her head, "That's me in my husband's mind..."
And previously I have given some men tips on, shall we say, successful approaches for repressed women. Instead of commenting on a hot movie scene or a model you like, say instead that you had a tough day. You were distracted at work all day remembering that night at the (cabin/hotel/beach) when the two of you got it on. Tell her you think about that time when you masturbate. She will react, I guarantee it, but this is what starts an erotic conversation.
Unfortunately, a lot of religious people have sex in silence. Like Jesus is there and doesn't want any lusty stuff, just the deed done. This is so unnatural--it is supposed to be fun and it's up to you to show her the way to the fun part.
I am truncating this a lot, but after you have reviewed a few times actual experiences that you remember where she was also having fun, then do some role playing. Get out what she was wearing and say, could we do it in the chair while you wear this? I keep imagining you in this and I would love it!
If she says no, fine, how about the tub/shower? You love how it makes her look like a movie star (Do not name a particular movie star whatever you do). Be specific, "It's the way you move." That's always a safe one because women always think we're too fat/skinny to be sexy, too old, too pregnant, too something, but hey, if it's the way we move....well, we're still moving!
Plenty of women are anorgasmic because they don't really believe their husbands are THAT into them, personally. It's like she thinks "He's here because I'm the authorized vajayjay, but if he could, he'd get better, you bet he would..." It's the magazines, the movies, the ads that have made us feel that we stink, our hair is dull, we are too hairy, too wrinkly, too out of shape, ads all day long tell us we are ugly without their products.
We really need you men to undo all that conditioning. People that have taken this advice have reported back to me that their wives eyes opened with amazement and there were tears. Me? You were fantasizing about ME? You can almost imagine this woman sitting up a little straighter, patting down her hair.
You have the amazing ability to make a plain woman feel gorgeous. Do it and you won't need a vibrator. Make her believe that your love for her is so great you are blind to the love handles. Your lust is rooted in your history with your wife--no other woman can match that so she will feel safe and secure.
Anagrammy