So maybe you can take the girl out of Mormonism, but not the Mormonism out of the girl. I am up late, baking cookies for a bake sale. And donating professional services tomorrow to a silent auction for two players in our local little league who have both lost a parent in the past week. I mean, so tragic, I can hardly get my head around it, though I don't know either family personally, its still a community of sorts.

I spend a lot of time otherwise, volunteering at my childrens schools, in a somewhat large capacity. And I LOVE doing it for the most part.

Granted, my house isn't as clean as it has been in the past, and I'm generally spending my days busy, shuttling kids to and from school, ball practice, and the regular errands of life. I keep up for the most part, but I am tired by the end of the day.

I have finally found joy in the journey, and feel like I'm contributing both to my children and the community as a whole. I know that for the rest of my life I want to be helping others in some capacity.

Yet, my husband is pissed. He is upset about me up at midnight, and asked me if I was truly happy. I said yes, and then he asked, "is this what you want to do, spend the rest of your life serving others?!".

Wow. Well, I asked him what else he thought I should be doing and he didn't have an answer. I've been pretty quiet, not feeling like I need to defend myself over it. My resolve to help others and be a good citizen is pretty strong.

But the kicker was when he said he thinks that I've just replaced my church service with other service, and that our marriage will just end up like my last one. Ouch.

The difference is I like him. I didn't too much like my ex.

So what do you make of what my husband thinks is a compulsive urge to jump in and help? Is this a Mormon thing that I can't shake? I mean, I don't think it is necessarily, because look at all the committed volunteers worldwide, who aren't lds or any religion for that matter.

Or part of it is the ridiculous urge to feel like I can *do* something important even if the Mormon church has no use for its resident hester prynne. I think some of it is that, to prove myself as a "good" person. And then there's that little devil on my shoulder sayin, "eff them all, they will see all the good you do outside the church, and you don't need them to be legit!". And now i will spend the rest of my life proving it.

Ugh. Don't mind me, and my late night ramblings. I hope it was entertaining at least. ;)

I see no problem in spending time serving others, if that brings you joy.


Maybe your husband would like a bit more of your time, though?


Why don't you find out what he'd like to do, and then make a formal date for just the two of you?


I may be wrong, but I'm thinking he might want you to spend a bit more time with him, and a bit less time serving others. And that would probably be reasonable.


But please don't quit serving others. Scale back a bit, if your hubby would like a little more time with you.


But please don't quit serving altogether.


The world needs more people like you.

Your priorities are out of order.
Your husband is telling you very frankly to scale back on volunteering, why dont you pay attention to what he says?

Apparently you are overdoing it and he sees your behavior ruining your marriage.
Heed his warnings.

You marriage should be your first priority, not "serving others".
Good grief. Don't ruin things by being a compulsive do-gooder who is always tired.

I have spent my life serving others and so has my wife. I am an ex teacher = Retired Social Service Worker- and have along with my wife committed ourselves to helping others. We care and love helping those who need help. It brings joy to us! Our bottom line is LOVE! What are we on this earth for. Balance is another thing and we have that. You have to decide what you have to learn on this earth and what is true happiness for you.