Recovery Board  : RfM
Recovery from Mormonism (RfM) discussion forum. 
Go to Topic: PreviousNext
Go to: Forum ListMessage ListNew TopicSearchLog In
Posted by: Stunted ( )
Date: June 07, 2012 12:30PM

I don't know if it was one of my posts you specifically called out but I fit the description you gave. My oldest son married this spring and I refused to fly across the country for the honor of being excluded from that wedding. I'll try to patiently explain why.

1. Not only was I not invited to the wedding, I was specifically labeled as “unworthy”.

I suspect you are still very much a TBM and as such you may not have the perspective to understand what a nasty insult that is. Let me tell you, it's a very nasty insult. I have been very involved in my children's lives. I've changed diapers, fed them clothed them, attended Parent Teacher Conferences, taught them to ride bikes at to drive cars. I cried with my son when he had his first big heart break in High School. I took him camping and fishing, I taught him to water ski and to snow board. I am his father in every sense of the word, but I'm “unworthy” to attend his wedding? Fuck you and the horse you rode in on.

2. I refuse to feed the Mormon Superiority Complex.

Like you, I've attended many PEC and Ward Council meetings. I've witnessed the gossiping and the backbiting that goes on. And don't try to tell me it must have been one rogue ward. I've attended those meetings in Utah, Texas, New Jersey and Alabama. They are all the same. Mormon Doctrine demands that members consider themselves the chosen ones, the only true disciples of Christ, God's favored. Every one else is a conversion target or lost. I didn't go to the wedding because I refused to stand there while the self righteous Mormons paraded past me looking down their noses and pitying me for having lost my may and not being good enough to even attend my son's wedding.

3. Someone has to stand up to the bully.

The church gets away with this kind of behavior because nobody calls them on it. I told my son why I wasn't going. He gets it. He thinks the church is wrong. I told my wife why I wasn't going. She didn't like it but understands and knows how much pain this stupid church policy has caused. I offered her a deal. I was willing to go if she would stand with me outside the temple holding hands as husband and wife. She refused. Family first? Now try to explain to me how the cult of Mormonism is all about families.

I don't attend church, I don't consider myself a member and I certainly don't support their programs or their bigoted positions regarding women and homosexuals. I may be at the fringes of Mormonism, but it isn't because of anything I do. The Mormon church is simply part of the landscape where I live. It's everywhere, work, home, school. Even at the local Walmart there is an entire shelf dedicated to Mormon books and kitsch items. I haven't even started with the extended family aspects of the Mormon fringe. I'm in it because I don't have choice in the matter. The Mormon fringe is like a skunk blast. It gets on everything and lingers forever.

As a good little Mormon you're probably thinking: “Well if you don't like Utah, why don't you move?” Am I right? See, there's that Mormon Superiority Complex again. Just try to put yourself in our shoes and walk a mile or two. You might be surprised at what you find.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: xyz ( )
Date: June 07, 2012 12:32PM

1,000,000.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: eekel ( )
Date: June 07, 2012 12:39PM

Stunted Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> > 1. Not only was I not invited to the wedding, I
> was specifically labeled as “unworthy”.

My sister married a guy from Cambodia. They had three different ceremonies. I was not allowed at two of them. One because it was a traditional ceremony with just parents, grandparents, and soon-to-be husband and wife. I could not attend the second one because--well--in their eyes I wasn't worthy. I wasn't buddhist and according to their tradition I was not able to participate in that ceremony either.

I could not care less. I don't care if someone else says I'm unworthy to do something. I don't hate buddhism. I don't hate my in-laws. I actually thought the food was some of the best tasting stuff I've ever had and look forward to be excluded from many more cermonies as long as they have an unworthy after party so I can get some more food.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Stunted ( )
Date: June 07, 2012 12:41PM

Do you know what the church handbook of instructions says about additional wedding ceremonies for Mormon couples?

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: xyz ( )
Date: June 07, 2012 12:44PM

Kind of like the way Mormons are stupid and believe whatever they are told.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: EssexExMo ( )
Date: June 07, 2012 01:16PM

I think eekel has revealed his true self

lying Mormon PoS

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: The StalkerDog™ ( )
Date: June 07, 2012 01:24PM

EssexExMo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I think eekel has revealed his true self
>
> lying Mormon PoS
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Joseph Smith must be SO proud!

Chip off the old block.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: davesnothere ( )
Date: June 07, 2012 12:49PM

Cambodian Wedding Ceremonies


Origins of the Khmer Wedding


Khmer weddings symbolize the beautiful legend of the origin of Cambodia and parallels the marriage of the first Khmer prince, Preah Thong, to the naga princess, Neang Neak. The prince was a foreigner exiled from his homeland, and during his travels encountered and fell in love with the naga princess. As a marriage gift, the father of the naga princess swallowed a part of the ocean, and thus formed the land of Cambodia.

A traditional Khmer wedding is one of the most joyous occasions for a Khmer family and typically lasts from three days to an entire week. It is a grand affair, full of color and festivity, as well as steeped in tradition. Family, friends, and other members of the community come together to share in the celebration. Musicians play throughout the day on traditional instruments, and the couple is dressed like royalty. The bride may change her outfit several times in one day. If the wedding were a weeklong affair, she could declare the color of her dress each day and the guests would dress only in that color.

Unlike most Western weddings, guests are usually highly animated during the ceremonies, with elders typically explaining the significance of the various customs to the younger generation. Please feel free to turn to a neighbor if you should have questions or comments about what is occurring. You may also stand up and leave the room if you need to stretch your legs. Guests freely move in and out during ceremonies, which is not considered rude.

So, doesn't sound like a traditional Cambodian wedding excludes family or guests from attending or participating unlike the Mormon Chirch does.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/07/2012 05:25PM by davesnothere.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: The Oncoming Storm - bc ( )
Date: June 07, 2012 12:57PM

There is a big difference between being excluded as a parent and and being a sibling.

Go grow up and get some empathy then come back when you are more mature and actually willing to listen to the answers to the questions you ask.

It's more and more clear you are just here to debate.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: FormerLatterClimber ( )
Date: June 07, 2012 01:55PM

G+ 1

Eekel I suspect you are not a parent. It is so much different with a sibling. A child, you invest your everything, you nurture from the moment they are born. A parent is there to cheer on their child every important step of the way. For you not to see that shows you have never felt the hurt the father has felt.

Unsolicited advice, but have you ever heard the expression, " you have two ears and one mouth. Use them accordingly. " At this point maybe you should do more listening ....just saying.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: epsynonia ( )
Date: June 07, 2012 01:41PM

Because major family events should just be about the food.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Samantha Baker ( )
Date: June 07, 2012 05:20PM

You completely missed/dismissed/ignord or were too f'ing stupid to read and understand Stunted's post. I recommend you repent and get back to reading church approved materials.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: PapaKen ( )
Date: June 07, 2012 12:47PM

I wasn't invited to my son's or daughter's wedding ceremonies in the Temple. I felt the same way you described, and so I didn't "sit outside the temple" waiting for the righteous to come and condescend to the "unworthy."

But today, and in view of these posts, I realized that we didn't have a choice. We were NECESSARILY waiting outside the temple when our kids got married.

During my son's temple ceremony, I waited outside by driving around the neighborhood. I'll never forget that awful 3 hours, wishing my son could have understood the heartache he and his fiancee were causing me (and others).

During my daughter's temple ceremony, I was busy with the other "unworthies" preparing for the ring ceremony & the reception that followed. I'll never forget that awful 3 hours, wishing my daughter could have understood the heartache she and her fiance were causing me (and others).

But I still "waited outside" the temple.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: xyz ( )
Date: June 07, 2012 12:49PM


Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: glass-3/4 full ( )
Date: June 07, 2012 01:41PM

So....eekel is saying that it's okay to be considered unworthy and be excluded from the ceremony as long as there is awesome food at the reception? Note to eekel: NO amout of green jello and potato chip topped casseroles can make up for the heartache and emotional pain caused by the mormon church!

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Makurosu ( )
Date: June 07, 2012 01:13PM

We had hundreds of people in attendance, and no one was left out. We had people come from all over the country. What Cambodian ceremony excludes family members like a Mormon temple wedding that will exclude the father of the bride for not giving enough in donations to the church?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/07/2012 01:14PM by Makurosu.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: flyboy21 ( )
Date: June 07, 2012 01:13PM

Nobody here blames the Morg for all their problems, dude. If you seriously want answers to these questions, they'll be provided. Just ask the questions. Leave your judgment of other people's anger and healing to the side. Some people are just living through being denied access to their own kid's wedding. Or their own kids have left them entirely. Along with their parents, friends, extended family... simply for asking those questions you don't "dare ask." And you know what? This behavior, in many cases, is being precipitated by a bishop or other leader who is telling them to do so.

There are young people who have just lost their health insurance, tuition, and any support money in one fell swoop because they simply lost their faith. There are people who are struggling with real bouts of illness who want to do themselves in because they can't understand how life could be logically worth living any longer.

This isn't magical fairyland, brah. This is real life. Real-life people who have lost EVERYTHING because of that "inanimate object." Simply because they no longer believe something, theyve had to lose EVERYTHING else in their lives--so in addition to finding out the Church is false, they find out every good thing in their lives was, too... and only predicated on them belonging to one system of belief.

There's going to be anger here. Any non-LDS person I've ever met would sanction that anger as part of their healing process. All of us have one thing in common: no matter what our specific background, we've been stolen from by the Corporation. You need to respect that and not try and defend people's assailant. If you want questions answered, ask them--and leave the defense of TSCC out of it.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/07/2012 01:14PM by flyboy21.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: nonmo ( )
Date: June 07, 2012 01:16PM

"Just ask the questions. Leave your judgment of other people's anger and healing to the side."



Eekel...put up or shut up.
You need to ask REAL questions about mormonism...not just "why are you mad at my church?"

Many here will answer your questions...when/IF you ask real questions...

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: flo, the nevermo ( )
Date: June 07, 2012 05:14PM

You got that right!

Allow me to reassure y'all on that. As I've investigated Mormonism, I've discussed it with other nevermos. Of course, none of us knew anything of what you guys discuss here, but when we learn of it we are first, incredulous; second, outraged and livid ourselves; and lastly, compassionate and somewhat sad. That has been my experience. If any of you still in or newly out wonder what the rest of the world would think, let me say that I believe that those are the reactions you will encounter.

Of course, that's why tscc doesn't want us to ever hear your stories.

And that's why we admire you for telling them when and how you can.

You already see who it is that thinks that any anger you have is unjustified. It's NOT nonmormons who think that!

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Itzpapalotl ( )
Date: June 07, 2012 01:51PM

Yup...we've all heard this music before. Place your bets on how much longer before eekel is banned from the site....

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: kingbenjamin ( )
Date: June 07, 2012 02:25PM

Mormons take their religions sooooo seriously and require their members to take it sooooo seriously. But when anyone else takes it seriously in a negative way they come up with, "Hey, it's just a church. All churches do stuff like this. We're no different."

They want it both ways. Eekel, you really aren't questioning anything, and I'm pretty sure your days are numbered here on RfM...but can you really not see the mind games you have to play to be an "open-minded" TBM...and all you really end up doing is sounding like a complete hypocrite.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: matt ( )
Date: June 07, 2012 06:38PM

All that guilty moaning and wailing afterwards can disturb the after glow. :o/\

Options: ReplyQuote
Go to Topic: PreviousNext
Go to: Forum ListMessage ListNew TopicSearchLog In


Screen Name: 
Your Email (optional): 
Subject: 
Spam prevention:
Please, enter the code that you see below in the input field. This is for blocking bots that try to post this form automatically.
 ********   **     **  **    **  **    **  **       
 **     **  ***   ***  **   **   **   **   **       
 **     **  **** ****  **  **    **  **    **       
 **     **  ** *** **  *****     *****     **       
 **     **  **     **  **  **    **  **    **       
 **     **  **     **  **   **   **   **   **       
 ********   **     **  **    **  **    **  ********