Stopped going to church in January...Entire family stops going. Asked to be released from all our callings. Asked to be removed from both HT and VT lists. Did not pay usual yearly tithing amount in December as we have done for numerous years with same Bishop. Yet, not a single word from Bishopric. No phone call. No drop by. Just silence.

I know...this is a good thing and we should consider ourselves lucky and I do but I have to admit I am a tad bit surprised. I have had many Bishops in the past that would have been on my doorstep after 3 Sundays of not showing up.

Anybody else out there have a similar experience?

New guidelines maybe ... due to upcoming election? Or perhaps there have been too many resignations and they're more worried about losing the shepherds than bringing back the lost sheep??

maybe the ward thinks your aholes and are glad you gone!! just kidding, sounds strange......

Yeah, I have thought about that angle...us being a pack of aholes but I don't think so...DW and I were just about 100% on HT and VT every month. Many friends in the ward...still do. We were in charge of a very big social activity that was considered the best in Ward history, asked to give talks etc etc. I guess if we are aholes, it would be tough to self-identify...that is what makes you an ahole after all...Even so, does the Bishop just say to himself...screw that entire family and all the 10s of thousands they gave the TSCC every year because they are a bunch of aholes??

I was just being sarcastic.

maybe you just have a former ward that is respectful of personal space, anything is possible.

Have you talked with your friends in the ward since leaving? And they haven't mentioned it? That is weird if I'm reading that right.

Maybe you made them all feel inferior, so they are all secretly glad you are gone.

I've been out for quite a while--and I'll still get love bombed now and then, but there is no rhyme or reason to. In 5 years, you might get love bombed when they have a missionary push--or you could get love bombed next week. And, again, you may never get love bombed.

I have no idea either but we had the same thing happen. Not a word. Not a phone call. Weird. Not a bad-weird though. I think of it as a gift. Well, maybe they are just glad to be rid of us?

Yeah, other than the Primary president leaving us a message about how they miss our kids and wanted them to come to an activity, we haven't had any contact since we went inactive in February and not a peep since we sent resignation letters to the bishop and stake prez last week.

One one hand, glad we haven't had to deal with any annoying phone calls or drop by's. On the other hand, feels like they never really cared about us in the first place! (despite being in the ward for 2 years, me serving in Primary and DH as Ward Mission Leader.

That is what I am saying...We have played a part in the ward family...We contributed our time and money in pretty significant ways. I am just taken back a bit by how they apparently don't give a crap that we have left the ward family. If anything, it is a testament to how we have made the right choice.

Could it be that you are just to radioactive to deal with? If the members get involved with love-bombing you, or even note that you are "gone, gone", they may catch your cooties too. You're too hot!

Ya'll are putting the church in a double bind here.

Love Bomb = Disparage Mormons because they won't leave us alone
No Love Bomb = Disparage Mormons because they ignore us.

I am trying to see if there are others that have had a similar experience. How is that disparaging?

What will likely happen the next time there are a lot of calling changes they will see you name on a list and then "remember" you. :)

You weren't disparaging at all. Just asking.

You were pretty clear about that, anonman. I didn't think you said anything disparaging at all.

I don't think anyone is disparaging Mormons who leave us alone. I think we are mostly grateful they do. But we are commenting on the shallowness of Mormon friendships. Most people in another religion would at least ask you where you disappeared to, if you suddenly stopped attending. And then they'd respect your choice.

Mormons tend to bully you into coming back or ignore you for leaving, which is it's own kind of bullying. They aren't ignoring you because they respect your right to believe what you want or want to continue to be a friend. They ignore you to send you a message.

We moved away from a ward we had been in for 10 years. We had a lot of friends there.The bishop couldn't stand us though. He was very jealous of us.

This ward always had going away parties when a family moved out. They had one the week we left, but not for us. I''m sure he felt like he was getting the last word in.

Not so fast bucky. Ten years later his daughter and mine are chatting on line. My daughter is helping his daughter get herself resigned out of the church. I'd love to be fly on the wall when he find out.

That's awesome. It would indeed be interesting to find out his reaction when he finds out.

That was my experience a couple of friends droped by but no arm twisting and no one wanted to know why!

My previous bishop believed that public shaming, especially in front of my kids, would get me back into the fold. The current bishop leaves me alone, and he said to me that he felt that if I wanted to come back or even talk to him about my beliefs, I would without him pestering me.

Much prefer the current bishop. Be grateful they are leaving you alone.

Not ONE single person has asked us why we left.
They know I will tell them exactly why, and I won't mince words.
They are terrified I can chop up their testimony and leave in in a heap on the ground. Those damn testimony's are so fragile! Truth is their kryptonite.

When we went inactive, they left us alone for a long time outside of a visiting teacher checking in once or twice... Then after several moves and my parents updating the church with our new addresses, we suddenly had lots of people we'd never met showing up. Finally resigned to stop it.

I think while the "norm" is for love bombing or at least a few visits, there are cases where that doesn't happen.

I wonder if it has something to do with your ability to intimidate the people via maybe decisiveness, and lack of needing their guidance or advice. My wife and I stated the facts to everyone, including family, and have been amazed that not one of them has tried to change our minds or sway us. They are ignoring us. I think maybe they hope their lack of involvement in our lives will be a factor that shows us that the cost of leaving is too high. They know that we have knowledge that will make believing in their religion a struggle, so they spare no effort to avoid having to hear it.

Unlike most members posting on this site, I had a very positive experience leaving the church from both family (in-laws) as well as the Bishop. The bishop was nice about the whole process and respected my decision. In fact, he was so nice about it that I actually felt bad telling him, but not out of guilt. Just that he was so nice about it.

Occasionally you have a Bishop that actually respects boundaries. It's amazing but it does happen.

Or the Bishopric is hammered with work and they haven't had time to evaluate yet why you aren't there.

Sure sounds like a policy change.

Those who leave can give powerful mind-opening reasons why they are leaving, and so "infect" others--such as their Bishop, and other ward members.

Smarter, on the church's part, to "let them alone", than infect those who hear their reasons for leaving.

Winternight and I noticed the same thing. But we were also very clear that we had no intention of changing our minds and we had requested that they expedite our resignations.

I think it may be a new tactic. Because even though we wanted to have no one bother us, we tensed up with expectation of harassment which hasn't happened so far which has been about a month.

We need to try not to take mormon behavior personally. The kind of attention they dish out or withhold is how they work on their own agendas using us as props. What they do is personal to their needs, not ours.

I asked to be released from my calling and went inactive about two months ago. Other than a phone call from the bishop telling me that they were NOT going to release me, I haven't heard anything from the ward, and I've been an active, tithe-paying, temple-going, activity-attending member of this particular ward for the better part of a decade.

It's been a blessedly awesome two months. I hope the silence continues.

I am surprised the mishies are not showing up at your door.

Usually they are asked to help with re-activation work, aren't they?

Hmmmm. Have you ran into anyone at the store or anything? Do they
run the other way, act like they don't see you (what they do to me), or say hello? Very peculiar behavior, indeed.

Do you still talk to some of your friends from the ward or do you kids go to school with their kids? If so I bet you are still being talked about and have an eye kept on you. Give space be a friend. I think sometimes Mormons do know that 'love bombing' does not work, so they dont do it. They be a friend and 'plant seeds' when they can.