I think the only exceptions would be openness and honesty with a spouse and with children who have undergone indoctrination at the hand of a parent.

I'm not saying anyone must disclose everything all at once to kids and spouses but they do in good time deserve to know if and why the exmo has changed their mind about the mormon church.

These people do not have a right to know unless the exmo so chooses: The exmo's parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, best friends, casual friends, aquaintances, neighbors, co-workers, vendors, ward members, church leaders, nor the mail carrier, street sweeper, garbage collector, babysitter, or plumber.

In my opinion religious preferences and church attendance are personal, only to be shared if all parties are comfortable and in agreement.

Ms Manners suggests avoiding personal disclosures about sex, politics, and religion in social settings and the workplace. I agree with her.

I think an exmo's first responsibility is to keep the immediate family as strong and cohesive as possible during recovery. Everyone else needs to be reminded if necessary to tend their own business. This can usually be done in kind tactful ways, but if cornered, exmos have a right to be blunt in self defense.

No one can control how others think and feel. We're doing well if we can learn to take control of **our own** choices, actions, and feelings.

+1000

If an exmo feels the need to reply to repeated questions, I loved the reply that someone posted in another thread (yesterday? the day before?):

"I no longer believe in the church and will not be participating."

Right on.

I think, for that extended list of people, the following phrase would come in handy: "my business, not yours."

I immediately had the thought that for many exmo's, the urge to share our new opinions is a knee-jerk reaction from being commanded to bear our testimonies constantly, whether asked about or not, as TBM's.

I've been out for over three years, and I'm still uncovering indoctrination in my life.

However, if no one ever shared why they no longer participate in the church, there would be far less ex-Mormons today.

I don't want to hear how anyone's beliefs are better than mine when it comes to sex, politics, or religion, and I give others as much respect as I take

If they want my opinion, they'll give me the go ahead. Otherwise, I assume they're satisfied with their beliefs as they are.

I don't feel responsible, but if someone asks I'll tell them. And hopefully it opens their minds just a little as to the problems with cult of Mormonism.

The whole experience with being an exmo for me is that I have become a much healther adult, parent, human. I've learned and continue to learn healthy boundries. This includes what I share and do not share with others and the fact that I'm perfectly comfortable with those choices. When I was a TBM I always felt I had to share and explain my choices.

2 days after my mom got our new Utah address the ward membership dude was on our doorstep. He wanted to know who lived in the home. Like that's a completely normal thing for a stranger to show up and ask. I assured him if he had any name it was mine and I had absolutely no interest in participating. He persisted by suggesting there are other people in the house and he needed names.

Really? Why?

I assured him no one had interest in the church.