I've been a daily lowly lurker for months now, totally fascinated by all I have learned. I had as good as forgotten about Mormonism until I did a curiousity google search one day, looking for a good forum to read. Total gold! It was so fun to rehash what it felt like being a Mo! And the history I've learned from all of you is unbelievable. Generations totally duped. (My great great (great?) grandpa is mentioned in the BoM as leading one of the treks to Utah. I bet he hated those damn handcarts.

I was BIC, in SLC, youngest of a big family (most of whom left when my dad did when I was very young). I stayed for my mom, I was her last hope. Had VERY mo friends. But around 14 I began to really resent those in highschool that were having lots of fun and not worrying about what others think, even those with Mormon families. I LONGED to not care. Oh the $&!# we talked about those degenerates, when I was secretly so jealous. What really turned me off from Mormonism, though, was what we thought of those who weren't Mormon. It was disgusting. So unhealthy to have such revulsion and superiority in your heart. So unhealthy to have such an ego for ACCOMPLISHING NOTHING except being born to a Mormon family in Utah. It was so suffocating.

Anyway, I found my way, chugged my first beer hidden in a hallway, made a new crowd swear secrecy. It was a joke. I graduated early and the minute I turned 18 a few months later, moved into a new life back East. I don't think I gave Mormonism another thought the minute I left. I was able to be totally free and totally ME. I joined bands and did what young people are supposed to do. I told my dad at 20, "I can die now." He thought that was adorable.

10 years later, I found myself back in SLC to help with my mother, who's health took a turn for the worse. I never in my life thought I would ever come back here. However, the city changed A LOT since I left, and I really fell in love with it. I love living downtown, I love the friends I've made. It's hard knowing that outsiders find this place a joke (believe me I heard my fair share when telling folks back East where I was from), when I find I don't want for anything I had in a big city. All my needs are met, and I love watching it grow! I also never encounter many Mormons living downtown, so I was pretty unaffected til I found this board. Then I just got pissed off.

The anger is good, though, for this reason: I'm in school studying policy and law, which means if I stick around these parts, I will be up against Mormon lawmakers and legislators. This also pisses me off, and I want to help, albeit possibly naively, tear that wall down. I'm so sick of nonmo's in this town being treated like children. It's embarassing. For example, (I think this particular law was changed) when I moved back, you had to sit in a particular section of the restaurant depending on what you planned on drinking! A JOKE. Also, new law (as of a few years ago, if it changed, my apologies) says that restaurants with the zion curtain (hidden bar) can tear it down, but new restaurants have to build one? WTF? These aren't the issues I'm going to school to fight, they are just examples of how backwards it is. As if a young child seeing a bartender shake a martini is getting corrupted by evil! I see it slowly shifting, however, and hope I can do my part in helping switch the paradigm on Capitol Hill.

So thank you for broadening my mind about the religion that rules this state. It has changed my perspective immensely. I'm so grateful I left early and didn't feel the pressure of Mormon expectations. I feel for the lot of you, and it makes me wonder about the self-righteous friends I had growing up. Before I moved, I cancelled my going away talk at sacrament 3 times because I didn't want to stand there and lie to the congregation. I ultimately gave a talk thanking my leaders (some of whom were amazing ladies), and probably threw in a stupid analogy, like that of a lobster dying in a pot. No lie. Don't ask me how it fit the topic. God, how dumb.

Also, my username is the opposite of "sweet spirit." Thought you'd all get a kick out of that, cuz WE'RE ALL SPICY SPIRITS! I'm going to create a cocktail with that name. And don't worry I'll let you all know the recipe.

Welcome!

A lot of us lurk a while before jumping in. Glad to have you on board!

Welcome to the board and great name!

Question - Have you resigned? I'm asking because most TBMs would see someone in your situation, & just consider you to be a Jackmo. I'm sure you get that. I know I do.

I have felt so far removed, as if I was never a Mormon at all. Which leads to the thinking that if I don't view myself as Mormon, than Mormons shouldn't view me as Mormon. However you bring up a great point. I have not resigned, but should for this very reason. Just to stick it to 'em. I hesitate, though, because I haven't been on their radar for a LONG time. They lost track of me years ago. I don't want the ward associated with my new address to even know I exist. Tell me it will all be okay and that they won't hound me.

I guess we'll just have to do it in our own time. It's just irritating to me the people think of me as an inactive Jackmo.

Just FYI - none of your ancestors are in the Book of Mormon. It's strictly fictional characters. Obviously it's been a while since you read it - and that's a good thing!

Welcome!

I swear to G that he is mentioned somewhere in the quad. D&C maybe? I have no idea. I still have my quad, if I'm REALLY bored one of these days, maybe I'll look it up lol. But yes I will be the most uneducated poster on this board when it comes to doctorine and all things technical as I never paid attention in Sunday School.

You only know one of the voices in my head.

Welcome!

"You only know one of the voices in my head."

Priceless...