Tonight we're here to honor a great man. Prophet, seer, revelator, translator, chlamydia survivor.


I love that, "translator". Joseph, I've seen your work. You're worse at translating ancient documents than your missionaries are at translating to the moon! Wilbur Fugate called, he wants his plates back!


But seriously Joseph, you know we love you. Who else could provide us with such an endless well of moral depravity to make fun of?
Why the hell did you shut down the Nauvoo Expositor? You had to know that would blow up in your face like Mark Hoffman's car.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/02/2013 05:17PM by doubtisavirtue.

Joseph Smith spilled more seed in Nauvoo than Muhammad Ali trying to fill his bird feeder.

Joe Smith retorts: I don't want to say that Ollie's a wus, but there's a reason we call him Brother Cowardly. Wipe that smirk off your face, Sydney; your daugther's next. When I first met my wife I thought, Emma some headlights on that chick. A little bit of Helen, a little bit of Fanny. Heh, I get by. Governor Boggs just wrote a play. It's called "Holy Ghostbusters." That Porter Rockwell is a hell of a critic, eh? I'll be here all week, barring any new warrants. Try the funeral potatoes.

Joseph was one of the worlds greatest scientists that went completely unrecognized ----- he was well aware of Kolob giving light to the sun ---- who in their right mind would believe in nuclear fusion it isn't even mentioned in the Book of Mormon!
Also, Joseph knew that both the sun and the moon were inhabited. The US went to the moon and probably met with these people but because they didn't want to support Joseph as a true profit they didn't even mention the inhabitants. Dang athiest scientists they will go to great lengths to not prove the LDS cult as gods ONLY true religion!
Women were always lifted up by Joseph ------ before being thrown in a bed for celestial purposes.