We would frequently report a hundred percent home teaching numbers, even on months when I had forgotten to do my home teaching, or had not been home taught myself. I only did my assigned stock...I mean home teaching about half the time, if that, and I rarely ever saw my home teachers myself.

Of course in the south eastern United States, ward boundaries normally cover entire towns, plus a good deal of rural territory around those towns, so stocking other members on a schedule was a lot bigger sacrifice then it is in Utah. Hell, I have even had to use a GPS to help locate some of my victims, I mean families. We even had one ex-member whose entire subdivision had been leveled to the ground, in order to build a strip mall several years before, and no one had even noticed that we now had no idea where so and so lived, until I had been assigned to teach them. However, they had been reported as being home taught all those years, so I guessed they met in sporting goods.

Sounds like someone learned their stats reporting on their mission. "Oh, yeah, we gave a whole mess of discussions last week to a big pile of investigators. Absolutely."

Years ago, my father was called as a bishop. When he was checking out the home teaching, he discovered that a few people who had been reported as being home taught every month had actually been dead for a few years.

Good ol' grandpa and grandma, taking one for the team.

I came back off my mission. The EQ gave me four totally inactive members. The EQ president and both counselors all had assigned active families to them selves. It took less than one year and I refused to be a home teacher again. Now, I don't even like them in my house. The program forces you to "get to know others" and I am a private person who doesn't like to have phony friends or pretend to be their friend when I frankly don't want to.

Two or three years ago, while still TBM, I attended a stake priesthood meeting. The stake president said if someone doesn't want to be visited, and they agree to a once per year visit, then make one attempt per year and that will count as your assignment completed for the rest of the year. Yes, he was cooking the books and telling the entire stake how to do it.

I suppose when the stake president gets his personal priesthood interview from higher ups (usually the area president) he desires to return and report respectable numbers. Crooked president, he's a lawyer, a fake and I've never trusted him. Oh did I just judge him righteously?

Do they consider a phone call asking if I had any interest in reactivating once per year as HTing? Because until I changed my phone number, that's all I ever got.
(Ring ring)
-hello?
-Just ole Bob calling to ask would you like to go to church?
-no thanks, Bob.
-okie dokie. Merry Christmas.
(Click)

14 million members? When it comes to making up numbers, look on further than the Morg.

And we wonder how church leaders got to be such liars.

Trained from the cradle to lie.


Anagrammy

In Mormonism, you either learn to lie with a straight face, or you get punished. Funny how no one ever realizes the Holy Casper isn't exposing their lies.

100% HT in month 1 often meant you got an extra family in month 2.

20% HT in month 1 often meant you got one less family in month 2

When I lived in Alabama, they needed to split the ward to break up a long-time feud (a real Hatfields and McCoys thing). A bunch of us had moved in from Utah and California for an aerospace project and they figured they could get a ward split out of it. We actually had a medium-sized good functioning ward.

They tried to justify the new "boundaries" geographically, but they were all over the place and everyone knew they had drawn them to split up the people who needed to be split up, as best they could. When they announced the split someone from the stake congratulated the ward on their 100% home teaching, which impressed SLC (you know, with all their inspiration and stuff). We'd lived there two years and were active and had never once had a home teacher and I knew hubby had never once done home teaching even though he was assigned.

I just laughed. The whole thing was so ludicrous. They recombined the ward after a couple of years and there is still only one ward 2 decades later, even though they always had 4 to 6 missionaries within the ward boundaries.

Yet another example of mormons being taught to check the boxes while not actually completing the task.

Many mormon Boy Scout troops do something similar for Eagle Scout status.

Many mormons in the workforce dismay their coworkers with this superficial approach.

Still, I'm glad to hear they apply the same technique to their own busy work. At least some useless activity is being avoided.

Being the OCD TBM that I was, I asked to be paired with someone else for visiting teaching. My companion was always lying about who we had visited directly to my face and when she turned in our report. Took me awhile to understand that most of the people I went to church with lied about one thing or another....and here I am...the apostate going to outer darkness...who has never been able to lie to save her life.

One time the RS president asked me why my VT comp and I were having trouble getting our visiting teaching done. She said there was only one companionship in the ward that wasn't reporting 100 percent VT stats and it was ours. Did we not get along or did one of our families not like us? Were our schedules too different for us to find time to get together?

And all the time I'm looking at her, thinking "I haven't had a VT visit in months. Are you lying or are my VT's lying to you?" So I asked my VT comp if she was being visit taught and she said she hadn't had a visit since she moved into the ward. Then we had a laugh about how the RS president's attempted intimidation backfired.

I hardly ever saw mine either and I know they were reporting 100%. Primary Pres and Sunday School teacher (she was the previous Primary Pres.).

I guess if you believe in gold plates, a hundred percent home teaching isn't that big of a deal.

One time my EQP was interviewing me and asked why I never did my home teaching. I told him that my favorite home teachers are the ones that never come over. I was just paying it forward. The shock on his face was priceless. He then bore his testimony and tried to commit me to do my home teaching. I told him no thanks.

order66 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I told him that my
> favorite home teachers are the ones that never
> come over. I was just paying it forward.

EX-cellent!

These stories make me wonder if someone in some ward somewhere is reporting that they visit me each month. I am still on the roles of the church, yet haven't seen either a HT or VT since the 1980's.

You're the best kind of member. They get to count you, but don't have to worry about you complaining that you were never visited.

Fine by me. As long as they leave me alone. :)

We had a HP GL who use to sit at the computer for hours because he did not trust the calculations.

Our RS prez counts phone calls.

My wife never did that, she said it was Visiting Teaching (keyword Visiting), not Telephone Teaching. She was a great Prez and everyone trusted her.

I believe the leadership manual actually states that the R.S. can actually count their V.T. as complete as long as the have contacted the sister. I don't have the manual to back this up, but we read it as a Bishopric as part of our weekly Bishopric meeting/training.

The software that records Visiting Teaching allows them to record visited, letter or telephone contact. Since their software offers an idealized view of an LDS ward or family, I assume this is accurate policy.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/10/2013 08:55PM by idleswell.

I've lived in my house for almost 7 years, and I have never had Home teachers. I've served in some fairley highly regarded positions, including elders quorum presidencies, clerk, and Bishopric.

The last time the Eq presidency came by a year or so ago, I ended up refering an arguement between the president and one of his counselors. Pretty much told them both off and they left. Its really bad form to argue minute points of doctrine and miss the bigger picture. The both got schooled that day. Last time I met with the Eq president for a HT "interview" I told him I had never had HT in my home and didn't need "assigned friends." I also told him my companion was a jackass. One of my assigned families would never answer the phone, the door, and even stood me up for appointments. That family happened to be one of his counselors.


Recently heard a visiting GA say that home teaching was broken the day the program was announced, but it has been around to long to change.

In my experience, the only time the HT's visited was when my TBM ex and I both had the flu and didn't go to church. Then, it was a matter of them spying on us because we didn't show up. I still think that whole thing is creepy and showed me that I had joined a cult. After all, real churches would rather have you stay home if sick, and they have professionals cleaning their buildings. It was during cold and flu season, and we definitely got that particular virus from church, as they were starting to fire all the janitors and have members clean instead.