http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbTB3ASkdOo

Two coworkers of mine recently had their first babies. They are both in their 30s and seemed more overwhelmed than smug during their pregnancies. I haven't spent a lot of time around pregnant women Mormon or otherwise, but I remember my sisters being all "grown up" when they were barely 20 and pregnant with their firsts.

And there is that babycenter forum thing that whenever I click and read makes me never want to be around Mormon women - ever.

I have met two kinds of pregnant Mormons: the smug, smirky kind and the martyrs who tell everyone stories about their horribly dangerous and incapacitating pregnancies and births (usually emergency C-sections after 47 hours of agonizing labor).

I'm not sure why the first group are smug and smirky. Maybe it's because they are fulfilling their "god-given" roles as breeders, maybe it's because they are very proud of their ability to reproduce, or maybe it's because then everybody knows that the husbands wanted to bang them.

icedtea Wrote:
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> I have met two kinds of pregnant Mormons: the
> smug, smirky kind and the martyrs who tell
> everyone stories about their horribly dangerous
> and incapacitating pregnancies and births (usually
> emergency C-sections after 47 hours of agonizing
> labor).

The latter kind abound in non-pregnant women. It is like every mother has a war story.

> I'm not sure why the first group are smug and
> smirky. Maybe it's because they are fulfilling
> their "god-given" roles as breeders, maybe it's
> because they are very proud of their ability to
> reproduce, or maybe it's because then everybody
> knows that the husbands wanted to bang them.

I think you are right. It sounds simple, but this is the mindset that led my parents to have 10, 10 more than they could psychologically handle. My sisters beat this drum as well. That cultivating an angelic smugness and being all nice and self-righteous where before they were just a pain.

They really do get so smug, don't they? hahahaha It annoys me so much!

Edit:

Aaack!! Sorry for repeating your original link! That was my brain on lack of sleep. :(



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/30/2013 09:49PM by inmoland.

I NEVER felt SMUG, honest! Just sick as a DOG!!!

Guess that makes me a matyr, okay I can handle that, but SMUG NO!!!

In my experience, being over 40 and never a mom, rare is the woman who is not smug with her first pregnancy. The smug dissipates as more children are born, because I think the difficulty increases by orders of magnitude. But first-time moms often behave as if A. They are the only person to have ever had a child, ever, B. They are the most special and their child is the most special, and C. Nobody else could possibly understand what a MIRACLE giving birth is, despite the fact that it happens, every day, all over the world, and has for tens of thousands of years. That's no miracle; that's just biology!

So, yes, I've met many women who are Smug™. As soon as I get that knowing glance "I'm Special because I'm going to be a Mom and you are a Piece of Shit who will never know what it's like to be so special," I just stop talking to the Smug Mom. In fact, I've learned that parents are so hypersensitive about anything you could say that will hurt their feelings, I try not to talk to parents at all until their kids are like 10 or 12. The smugness seems to go away with the onset of puberty.

dogzilla Wrote:
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> But first-time moms often
> behave as if A. They are the only person to have
> ever had a child, ever, B. They are the most
> special and their child is the most special, and
> C. Nobody else could possibly understand what a
> MIRACLE giving birth is, despite the fact that it
> happens, every day, all over the world, and has
> for tens of thousands of years. That's no miracle;
> that's just biology!

So true.

> In fact, I've learned that parents are so
> hypersensitive about anything you could say that
> will hurt their feelings, I try not to talk to
> parents at all until their kids are like 10 or 12.
> The smugness seems to go away with the onset of
> puberty.

LOL! Unless they are like my soccer mom co-worker. She seems smug about how talented her kids are in soccer.

DYING over the video, I needed this laugh today! I've been accused of NOT being excited about my pregnancy, because I don't obsess about it. It's all my LDS friends ever want to talk to me about. It's like they've forgotten I have a life beyond the bump. I'm finding plenty of moms are pretty smug, but the TBM ones have that arrogance they have for everything else.

I felt inspired to post it. Must be residual priesthood but God knows I'm not worthy.

Well, I, for all of the child-free people on this board, would like to take this opportunity to thank you for not using the words "pregnancy" and or "baby" in every single stinkin' post. Thank you for having some friggin' balance in your life so you don't have to obsess on this one thing.

Sure, it's a big thing... To you. And I'm happy for you. Congratulations!

Now, let us never speak of it again until you announce the birth. Please note: I am not interested in the weight or length of your baby. The only statistic I'm interested in is head circumfrence. THAT's how you know who's a hero. ;>)

dogzilla Wrote:
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> The only statistic I'm interested in is head
> circumfrence. THAT's how you know who's a hero.
> ;>)

Which one? And would you like to know the sexual orientation statistic if they knew it?

Gay babies being all the rage.

What do you mean, which one? You are aware that women can give birth to girl babies, right?

And no, I am not interested in sexual orientation of any baby.

You... didn't really understand the point of my post, did you?

dogzilla Wrote:
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> What do you mean, which one? You are aware that
> women can give birth to girl babies, right?

It was a joke.

> You... didn't really understand the point of my
> post, did you?

Unless it was about having a baby with the head the size of a large watermelon I guess not.

having a baby with a head any larger than a tennis ball.
And the bigger, the more heroic. That was the point.
Length and weight, not so much -- but weight could definitely be a factor in the SIZE of the thing that's ripping its way out of your body.

Maybe dogzilla could care about their weight as well given your explanation.

Thanks! It drives me crazy when people obsess over it, and I'd rather not lose my child-free friends.
Oh boy...head circumference ;)

but I was just so happy to be pregnant at all - no, I was ecstatic to be pregnant. After all the miscarriages I'd had and considering my age, I was 41 when I finally gave birth, I felt like I was walking on air. There were probably some women who were little annoyed at my happiness of being pregnant, and there was one woman I worked with who clearly was rather b***** that I was pregnant, and having the temerity to quit work after the birth to be a SAHM. I did not let that bother me. I was going to have a baby! Yippie! I did have morning sickness the first couple of months but I did not share it with everybody that I knew. Now that IS obnoxious. Again, I was simply happy to be pregnant. I felt like an Earth mother with my facinatingly growing belly.

If people did't want to share my happiness, fine, but I refused to let anyone rain on my parade.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/30/2013 04:56PM by serena.

The pregnant Mormon women I see don't seem smugger, they seem empty. No one at home in their eyes. Of course, most of them are pregnant, pushing a stroller, with toddlers hanging on. I love my friends on other boards, who celebrate their pregnancies as special occasions, not a duty.