I've been off my mission for 13 years now, and I still give myself a great big facepalm daily while reflecting on my mission. I am sure I hurt the cult more than I helped it. I was such a social retard. I was very timid, and yet trying to fullfill the expectation of radical overbearingness. I scared alot of oeople away from missionaries. Can anyone else relate?

I was a pretty lazy and apathetic missionary.

I mean I would go out and tract and do missionary things. But when it came to telling people what to believe I just didn't care.

Probably most the people I talked to wondered why I was even out there, because it was very evident I had little passion for it.
I even admitted to some (to the utter shock/embarassment of my companion) that we weren't out there by choice at all.

The only times I was animated was when the topics were anything other than religion.

Unfortunately most of the guys and gals I served with ten years ago were all social retards .... measured with a) mideuropean standards b) "normal" social interaction people. And if they only were a lil bit more "normal" socialized probably less people were be scared away.

After I learned that all is brainwashing in MTC and I am going to scam ppl I lost all my enthusiasm. I converted only one year and a bit before - nothing else than these 18 month deconstructed my so called testimony of the truth more. Although it took some years to set me free at all ....

I was always happy to meet ppl I could talk with beyond gospelrelated $#17. The hardest part (more than finding victims) of it was finding those who don't prejudice us as strange freaks and talked with us like normal folks .