Today someone from the local "high council" had left me a message to want to talk to me tomorrow. When DW saw the message, it reminded her what a terrible husband I am (not believing in TSCC), and set her off. Needless to say, it hasn't been a particularly pleasant afternoon. She is very stressed by the fact that she has become a "special project" in the local ward, as she probably has after the news of my disaffection (which is just discontinuation of pretending, but they of course don't know that) have spread. That's the way they operate. Of course, being a divorced woman would make her only so much more a special project. This is why I have been participating in the activities to a degree to try to lessen such stress. But it does not help, as she knows that "my heart is not in it". Yes, it's not in it, and it never will be, not much I can do about that.

It's an evil church!

:(

Yes, everyone in a way is a victim. I think part of the problem is that the few points that I have brought up to DW have not gone unnoticed – how could they have – and so it has resulted in some level of doubt in her. The problem is that for her TSCC is the foundation for so much of her personality that a nervous breakdown wouldn't be totally out of the question if her proverbial shelf were to collapse. I would not want to create such a situation, but on the other hand I can't keep pretending, and my mere non-belief and pulling away from the church is apparently enough to for her to be concerned her shelf might become unstable. I suppose I will just need to live in the present, see how this unfolds, as there is not much else I can do.

And strawberryshortcake, you're absolutely right. Nobody would join if they had clarity of their mind (before joining) and were told all the details.

Be patient. You sound just like my husband and I. My husband's heart hasn't been in the church for the last 10 years or so even though he still thought the church was true. He had just decided that the Telestial kingdom was good enough for him.

I was so troubled and figured that at some point I would have to choose between him and the church (so messed up!). But he is a good husband and father so I procrastinated the decision.

A few weeks ago I stumbled upon on all the troubling issues of the church. My foundation was crumbled. I immediately showed everything to my husband and we're now leaving the church together, to his relief. Since then, we have had more open and honest discussions than we've had in years. It has been so liberating getting the wedge that the church put between us, out.

Is there a way for you to introduce any of the issues with her? I agree that the church is evil. It is horrible for any family who isn't 100% on board, which causes disharmony in the home.

I hope you can be honest with yourself and your wife and that she will appreciate it. I'm not sure, but I may have respected my husband more all of these years if he had just left the church but had done so because of personal integrity rather than having one foot in and one foot out the door. Every relationship is different though. Good luck!

That's crappy.
I'm always happy if I can get through a weekend without "the situation" but that doesn't always happen for me either.

Just got a call the other night from someone in the High Priest Quorum. Says he needs to come by for an "annual visit."

Does anyone know what that is all about?

My guess is that they're probing to see if you're "recoverable". Same thing as with the high council member's meeting tomorrow. I spoke with our local bishop few weeks ago, and so this is an escalation. I entertain them for fun since I've been along with the family anyway. If they were to bring up "love" court for "not sustaining the profit", I would submit my resignation immediately.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/22/2014 06:53PM by Facing Tao.

The Relief Society President called to come visit me with the Stake RS President. I must be on their list. They
decided not to come when I told them we weren't feeling well.

To check up on you and your household. Basically spying, gathering information to use in his meetings. To talk about you to others and allow his wife to spread rumors. To gather information on your worthiness or lack their of to determine how much pressure / visits from members / missionaries and what calling would be best for you to increase your testimony.

So tell him to shove it or he can "annual visit" you at Starbucks. You set the time (if you wish to see him) not him. Put the power back in your court not his.