You don't GET your own planet, you MAKE your own planet.

All you get is the do-it-yourself kit. So they don't hand you
an already made planet and say, "enjoy yourself," they give you
raw materials and you have to organize them into a planet
yourself.

I mean if you didn't "create" the world for your celestial
offspring, then you wouldn't be a God.

https://www.lds.org/manual/gospel-fundamentals/chapter-36-eternal-life?lang=eng

"They will even be able to have spirit children and MAKE new
worlds for them to live on, and do all the things our Father
in Heaven has done." (emphasis added) (third paragraph on the
page)

...wouldn't it just be easier to pick up a second-hand planet? I'm sure there are short sales and foreclosed planets in heaven. You know, like maybe the other little Gods just couldn't keep up with their other-worldly, outer-space tithing, and the Head God had to foreclose on them........

ConcernedCitizen Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> ...wouldn't it just be easier to pick up a
> second-hand planet? I'm sure there are short
> sales and foreclosed planets in heaven. You know,
> like maybe the other little Gods just couldn't
> keep up with their other-worldly, outer-space
> tithing, and the Head God had to foreclose on
> them........


Well evidently that's what Jehovah did when building Earth.

Think he must have gotten a smoking deal on an effed up used up planet, complete with a lot of old junk like fossil remains of bizzare lifeforms ol Jehovy would never have created himself.

That's why he is the savior, a salvager extraordinaire able to make sugar out of shite.

Those sly little weasels . . .

regardless of its history, Property Reserve holds the title; it's a time-share kinda deal.

Your kids make the planets.

Kid 1 kid 2. Behold, yonder is matter unorganized. Go ye therefore down and organize it into a world after the manner we have here to fore organized. Call your labors the first day, then return and bring me word.

Kid 1 and kid 2 may do all the work, but I think you're the lead
contractor.

"The people who live in the telestial kingdom are those who did not accept either the gospel or a testimony of Jesus, either on earth or in the spirit world."

By the time you reach the spirit world, shouldn't everyone be getting a clue about where things stand? If by that time you know there is a Jesus and all that, wouldn't you sign up just for the eternal sex?

secretnotsacred Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

> By the time you reach the spirit world, shouldn't
> everyone be getting a clue about where things
> stand? If by that time you know there is a Jesus
> and all that, wouldn't you sign up just for the
> eternal sex?

This is the part that used to get me. So Christopher Hitchens
was a rabid atheist who denied an afterlife. He died and, if
Mormonism is correct, he's now in an afterlife. The Mormon
missionaries come to him in the spirit world and say, "we are
the representatives of God whose afterlife you are now
experiencing." You don't think that would have a MUCH better
effect than a couple of mishies showing up at his door in
Earth?

I never understood the idea of trying to convince people in
the Spirit World. It seemed like a slam dunk to me that if
you die and you wake up in the Spirit World then you KNOW that
there's some sort of God and afterlife, etc. And whoever is
running it is, without question, in charge for real.

Unless . . .

Maybe they have all kinds of competing churches in the Spirit
World, and preachers and missionaries from all those other
churches are vying for your attention and UNLESS you choose
the right one, you are screwed--just like things are here on
Earth.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/01/2014 01:24PM by baura.

Yeah, I thought about that too...I always thought it would be a slam dunk after you die...after all, wouldn't the whole plan be obvious?

That's what is so preposterous about HF's plan of happiness.

As a requirement you are sent into the world blindfolded and if you should stumble or step on someone's toe ...... you so fooked.

But not to worry, you can plead your case once the blindfold comes off cause hebbenly fodder really loves you; he was just funnin with the blind man's bluff thingie.

NEWS FLASH, according to the newest essay this planet idea is not doctrine and never has been. I don't have the essay but an article was in our newspaper yesterday. It stated that "People commonly latch on to the most outrageous or unique aspects of religions..." So this former doctrine is now being referred to as an outrageous or unique aspect, which it is, but it was outrageous and unique DOCTRINE. So that plan to be god of our own world, explained from the mouths of prophets, was only an outrageous aspect made up because of the misunderstanding of early members....whodathunk?

It was only an outrageous aspect made up because of the misunderstanding of early prophets, seers, and revelators.

I know that and you know that but the leaders don't want everyone to know that.

"To live in the highest part of the celestial kingdom is called exaltation* or eternal life. To be able to live in this part of the celestial kingdom, people must have been married in the temple and must have kept the sacred promises they made in the temple. They will receive everything our Father in Heaven has and will become like Him. THEY WILL EVEN BE ABLE TO HAVE SPIRIT CHILDREN AND MAKE NEW WORLDS FOR THEM TO LIVE ON, and do all the things our Father in Heaven has done. People who are not married in the temple may live in other parts of the celestial kingdom, but they will not be exalted."

It's right here in black and white!

Ingreedyments:

Obedience
Repetition
Fairy Dust
Fossil Powder

Misdirections:

Blend obedience and repetition in a large bowl. Form a ball and roll it in fairy dust until firmament. Bake in solar oven for six kolobs. Remove from oven and sprinkle with fossil powder to delight and mystify all who partake.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/01/2014 05:26PM by donbagley.

Make sure you find the kit that says on the package "Now with dinosaur bones!"

Donbagley your posts are brilliant.

you nailed it, Don!

"Your kids make the planets." Ha! How did I miss that?

This thread is a perfect illustration of why I come here to visit the brilliant minds of my cyber friends. Thanks for making my day!

"Excuse me, I'm looking for something to make a planet, but I don't want to spend a lot."

"Oh, a Mormon, right?"

"Uh, yes, as a matter of fact. How could you tell?"

"Never mind. Anyway, we do have this used material, you'll save about 10% off what the new planet mix costs."

"10 percent? Yeah, if it wasn't for that extra 10%, I could probably afford the brand-new stuff. Is there anything...wrong with the used mix?"

"Well, it's got some bits and bobs from recycled planets that had dinosaurs as the dominant species, and stuff like that. Some eternal beings find that their new planet can cause confusion with the creatures they create for it when the find these old bones and things. And the continents tend to drift around a bit on top of it, but some eternal beings find that amusing."

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about that, I'll make creatures that'll believe anything I tell them."

OK, buddy, whatever--it's your planet; pull your truck around back and we'll load it up."

"Umm, actually I'm driving a minivan--will it fit in that?"

"Sure. Oh, by the way, you ARE a Mormon, right? Cash only."

I get it, it's like So Long and Thanks for All the Fish, the fourth book in the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Trilogy. The dolphins made planets just so they could screw with the inhabitants...

You guys are cracking me up!!! I need that after visiting our sad elderly parents today. Thank you for the awesome humor! : )

They (not me) can outsource the making planets to the Terrestrial kingdom. I could use the work and they will save big $$$.

Let's not forget the TERRESTRIAL KINGDOM...

"The people who will live there will not be part of an eternal family but will live separately, without families"

This is so much BS.