Stronger or to extinction? I haven't really prayed, the Mormon fashion, in two years. My uncle, whom I'm close with (not Mormon himself), is dying after a quick battle of cancer. He's under hospice care. I try to pray, but it makes it worse for me. I know I'm starting the grieving process and am angry and bartering with God. It doesn't resonate with me anymore. Often times when I analyze praying, I equate it with superstition. I fully believe it's self fulfilling. I used to pray reliously and felt that was the only spiritually thing I resonated with (when I was active tbm). Now I don't define myself as spiritual at all. I do want to work on thinking positively and living in the moment.

Sorry to hear about your uncle.

Pack away as many conversations with him as you can instead of praying. Find out from the hospice folks what you can do for him. Memories and letting him know your appreciation for him will provide you more comfort in years to come.

Prayer? Positive affirmation type of thoughts might work. There is something about having to face death of a loved one that makes you truly appreciate of what time we have.

Thanks for the kind words and suggestions. I think journaling and reminiscing will be healing for me. I will be able to see him Saturday. It will be hard for me but I know keeping it light and enjoying his company is what he'd appreciate the most.

From "saying my prayers" like a good boy...to not praying....ever...

RB

praying ??????

Usually yell at inanimate objects. Works just fine.

Well other than the occasional worshipping of the porcelain god, none at all.

I always thought it was weird that everyone got down on their knees and let out some farts with their eyes closed before bed.

I don't like the feeling that nobody is listening at the other end of the line.

I put more time and effort into meditating. It puts you into a place of absolute relaxation while being fully alert. And it does great things for my blood pressure!

I never know what's going to float into my mind when I'm meditating. At first, I just get into it for the relaxation, and to clear the "chatter" going on in my mind. Sometimes, I get wonderful memories from the past, usually things I had forgotten. Sometimes I get great ideas about how to solve a problem that has been nagging at me. And sometimes, it's nothing but profound relaxation.

It's always a positive feeling.

+100 on meditation.

Anyone not trying or taking advantage of meditation is really missing something.

Met with my Sis yesterday and boy was she in a negative mood ----- never seen her this bad as she still has problems from are 'passed' parents and her kids and she agrees it is affecting her health. I immediately recommended a number of guided meditations. Really hopes she tries some.

I am going through an issue now which was in bad shape (for a few weeks) until yesterday. Now it is much better. I seen it was affecting my wife for weeks now. However, being in a bad/negative mood did nothing to help the situation but just make it worse.

I am thankful meditation on positive things brought me trough this 'crisis' in an amazingly better condition than the way (without meditation) I would get through similar 'crises' in the past. Meditation was definitely a big player! Glad others have found some value in meditation.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/25/2015 11:47PM by spiritist.

It isn't like pre-printed prayers that you can just babble without thinking.

it involves deep relaxation, and a focus on something (I focus on my breathing - just inhaling, and then exhaling - and gently push away anything else that tries to creep into my consciousness.) This takes conscious effort.

People have asked me, "How do you know when you've reached a true meditative state?" Well, not to sound irreverent, but it's like orgasm. Once you've been there, you just KNOW.

And like orgasm, it's worth it.

My transition:

Our Most Dear and Gracious Father Who Art In Heaven.......

Our Beloved Father in Heaven.......

Father in Heaven......

Now, listen here, motherfucker......

I prayed for a long time as a TBM, and never for insignificant crap like finding car keys. No, I prayed for help just getting through the day with severe depression and anxiety. I asked God to ease the worries, loneliness and hopelessness that constantly plagued me. I begged to feel "comforted" by the "Spirit".
Of course I never felt anything at all. I never got miraculous answers or even the slightest comfort. In fact it gradually got worse, not better, until I realized that trying to force my own belief was the real problem all along.

So in my personal experience prayer is useless. Praying for someone is worse than doing nothing because it eases YOUR conscience at the same time, but does nothing whatsoever for the recipient. Especially when you SAY that you're praying for someone because then it just becomes a self-serving ego boost. IMO Christianity is rank with that crap and I am so happy to have left it all behind.

It was naturally selected into extinction, as it served no useful purpose.

I'm sorry about your uncle. Most of the "prayers" people utter in such times are attempts to comfort themselves or the loved ones in pain. You can say words to comfort yourself or your loved one in pain without appealing to an imaginary deity. They are just as useful, if not more so -- because you can honestly express your love for your uncle, and let him know how much you'll miss him.

Best.

I'll do my best today saying my good byes. I'm being mindful of the holidays and all the sounds, tastes and sights I love during this time and taking it in because life is short. Thank you.

As oneinbillions said, I used to beg for relief from anxiety in a high-stress job, but got no help. Gave up. Sometimes good things happen after praying, but seems to be random.

It has recently occurred to me that we shouldn't tie God up with prayer, especially blessing food or something, when he doesn't have time to intervene when horrific acts are perpetrated against little children.

^^^This^^^

It never felt right to me and now it all makes sense.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/26/2015 02:04PM by Devoted Exmo.

I'd quit praying even was I was kind of a believer, it seemed to me that things happened however they were going to play out either way. Seems like the God always comes out good, if the outcome is the one you wanted God is great, if the outcome is bad, you were unrighteous.

I no longer fold my arms. As a BIC Mormon, it was hard to get away from that silly habit, although it makes sense to have an overly large group of children in a family or in primary fold their arms so they'll keep their hands to themselves when the adults' eyes are closed. I really like the pictures of Joseph Smith kneeling in the sacred grove with his arms folded. How did he already know to fold his arms when praying? God had never spoken to him. Then again, where is any scripture or reference telling Mormons that arms are to be folded when praying? Where did that come from, anyway?

I dropped the King James English and all the silly "thee" and "thou" and "thine" references once it occurred to me just how ridiculous such usage was.

I also stopped automatically saying thank you at the beginning of prayers. The idea of being thankful for what has already been given might be a nice idea in theory, but when one's wife is in the middle of a make-it-or-break-it surgery, it seems ludicrous to proceed with the cookie-cutter format.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/26/2015 06:54AM by scmd.

came when I was pretty sure mormonism was bogus. I prayed about it in the mormon fashion. I had a very strong sense of being loved as in:

"Help me to know if this is really the true church."

"I love you."

"What should I do to about my future?"

"I love you."

"Do I really have to be a mormon?"

"I love you."

"But I am thinking of leaving the church!"

"I love you."

And shortly thereafter we were able to pack up and leave it all behind. I rarely pray, I do not think there is necessarily a divine being and if there is, she doesn't care one way or the other how one carries out religiosity or lack thereof.

I do believe that all of us, even the most sucked in TBM, is loved and worthy of love, not sure by what or whom. Maybe it is just my own innate need to love and be loved.

I stopped all individual prayer when I separated from Mormonism and consider it to be merely wishful thinking. I never say prayer over the food or for the sick. Should there be a god, I'm sure prayers are never heard and certainly are not answered.

I do bow my head (in respect), but do not fold my arms or close my eyes, when public prayers are offered such as at funerals.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/26/2015 09:25AM by Templar.

It is unlikely, but should the opportunity arise in the future, I will bow my head, keep my eyes open, stick my hands and gently fondle my big factory, because it's the only thing which gave me the blind faith to try thing I didn't really know how to do.

Talk about handing over the steering wheel to a third party...

Leaving LDSinc went a long way to my understanding this:

"The function of prayer is not to influence God, but rather to change the nature of the one who prays."

--Søren Kierkegaard--

I like that quote

Praying for me is either useless or for pure meditation. If god does exist, he doesn't seem to want to interfere with us. So, prayer seems to be useless for getting guidance day to day and more for meditation, etc.

I'm in agreement with the last three posts. I don't think prayer has any great benefit beyond superstition except in that it sometimes gives strength and peace to the person praying. it seems to help me in that regard. I can't believe in a God who would spare my wife and babies if I prayed but not if I didn't. It would seem that they would need the assistance of a God who actively intervened in our lives all the more if I did not care enough to pray on their behalf. It does seem to help me, though.

Atheist now for going on 20 years. Been trying meditation recently and need to do more of that.