One time during stake conference I was just looking at old text's from my friends just because I was reallyy bored! And my mom kept on telling me to put my phone away and I had told her ton's of times over and over again that I was really bored and that I was not interested in the quorom of the 12 (didn't know who was speaking) person's technology talk about how it "destroys the lives of people and such" She did not listen and kept on threatening to take my phone away! so I just said "I have a migrane." and went and sat in the lobby the rest of the time. (with the grouchy parents who cant get there children to stop screaming! (seriously no offense!) When we FINALLY got in the car to leave, My parents kept talking about how spiritually uplifting that it all was! And they kept mentioning technology and how it destroys everyone and finally they came to a conclusion and my mom said "Hey you know what? Let's disable the teeenagers cell-phone's during church hours and at night-time! It will be just like the 80's were! "oh how I dearly miss the days!" And my dad was just laughing and a couple of days later they were secretly talking in the kitchen and I was in the other room (they didn't see me.) And they were all like "Yep it would be a great christmas present so that our teens can "once again be renewed someday and Rejoice in heaven in the glorious gospel" Well Low and behold it happened! :( They rarely even let me watch t-v because they think it's all trash and they put restrictions on everything! and I am turning 18 in a freaking month! I am sick of this cult! I am sick of feeling judged and like crap 24/freaking 7!!!!!! And I am sick of how like Everything I do I feel guilty for it and feel like I am a huge friggen sinner! :( notice how I put 7 exclamations?
:( Sorry this is quite lengthy and but any advice would really help! (: Thanks so much and sorry for being a debby downer! :/



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 01/04/2016 02:12PM by damyn.

If you have a job, buy your own phone and pay your own bill. Do not connect to the house wi-fi and you can do as you please. Do not return their phone, use it to call them. Just keep your own as your own. If possible have auto-bill pay set up so no bill comes to the house.

A major problem for youth is that you pretty much have to play your parents "game" until you are able to be financially independent of them. After all, if you live "under their roof" you must abide by their rules. At eighteen, you can leave if you want, but the other side of the same coin is that they can throw you out if you don't do what they ask! Bummer.

Best to make plans for financial independence and a quick exit. Until then, play their bullshit mormon game for awhile...

I put limits on my kids' technology as well. Not because I want to jerk their chains, but because I love them and I want them to be as productive as possible. Technology and tv are huge time wasters. In fact, I wish someone would put limits on me! I will say my kids "get it" though, and often comment about how the next gen is lacking maturity, social skills, and above all grit because all they want to do is play stupid games on their devices. By 18 I hope they can manage themselves. We'll see...

OP, I know it doesn't seem like it, but your parents likely want the best for you. Many parents use tech to babysit their kids and keep them out of their hair. Sounds like your parents actually care about what you're viewing, even if it seems unfairly controlling. Hang in there...your feelings are normal.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/04/2016 04:01PM by hikergrl.

damyn,

What are your plans for independence? If you're almost 18, are you getting ready to graduate or take the GED?

You asked for advice, so here it is, as straight as I can be.

You are already considered an adult, for all intents and purposes, so it is time to act like it. Complaining about TV or electronics time is no way to demonstrate maturity, unless that electronics time is to further your goals of being an independent, self-sufficient adult. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with electronics if you're self-balanced in advancing the needs and wants of your future vs. leisure time.

When online, are you researching which school you want to attend and why, how you're going to fund that education, what prerequisites there are, what subjects interest you? I'm not suggesting that you need spend 100% of your online time doing these things, but if you don't want to spend a big portion of your young adulthood being bossed about by parents, or marry someone you don't know very well, or go on a mission just to escape, you should at least have some lists already started, if not a binder.

THOSE are the questions I want for (from) you. (And there are many very smart, experienced people on this board who can help with suggestions and answers - many voices who have been there, done that.)

Don't think I'm coming down hard on you; I hear your frustration. What I'm trying to get across is that you ALREADY have options, but you write nothing of what you're doing to get yourself out of this situation that is making you feel so bad.

I don't think you're a "debbie downer." I think you're a young lady who expresses herself well, but one who isn't exercising the POWER and WILL you so clearly have! I want you to STOP focusing on what your parents are/are not doing, and START focucusing on YOUR FUTURE, WHICH IS ALREADY YOURS.

Cooperate with your parents, so that they may be more willing to cooperate in helping YOU to become FREE, to do as you will with your life! Sometimes, you have to keep your goals to yourself in order to get what you need.

There. I'm done. I tried to tell you what I would say to my kid sister if she felt trapped and powerless, and just couldn't see that it was up to her, and only her, to become untrapped, and be the designer of her own life.

The power is yours, you are already free, you only have to use it as an adult.

I'm glad you're posting here, and sorry for the sermon. Best to you.

First of all im a dude (: also gay :P but anyways you could not be more right! Second of all Thank you for EVERYTHING!

Really excellent advice there, except that you are not already considered an adult, not until your 18th birthday.

And it seems to me that the real battle here should be over your right to exercise your free agency to not attend a church you don't believe in.

I'll just add a few things :

Non-Mormon parents put restrictions on their kids technology use. Atheist parents do, too. This is not unique to Mormons. Think about that.

Life is going to be full of boring moments -- college classes, work meetings, etc. No one cares that you're bored; everyone is bored. Checking texts can result in your phone being confiscated by the teacher in a college class; it can result in you getting fired.

This is not about technology. It is about learning to cope in appropriate ways.

You will never do exactly and only what you want. You'll always have a teacher or a boss or a customer making demands. The best you can do is to plan so that you are doing what you want to do and you have some level of autonomy -- that means, getting education or vocational training so that you're not stuck flipping burgers.

You're quite welcome.

Sorry for the assumption about your sex, and now I'm even happier that you have this board where you can be gay in freedom and peace. In future, I'll think of you as a kid brother.

So please get busy on that binder; you need to create the life you want. I'm rooting for you.

I will do that dragging! (: And it's totally cool! loL! i have alotta girly aspects! haha :P But yes! gotta get buisy on that binder! <3

I will do that dragging! (: And it's totally cool! loL! i have alotta girly aspects! haha :P But yes! gotta get buisy on that! (:

Dude, listen. The Mormon leaders know that technology is their biggest vice. It gives mormons access to the truth found on forums like these.

They have an active campaign to demonize technology and try to prevent people from doing any actual research for themselves. Instead, all info must come from "official" sources...

Its a form of brainwashing.

OMG! You are seriously the smartest effing cookie that has ever spoken! loL! (: well that makes me feel better!! thanks felixwhiteplz! U rock!! lawl! <3 #sowise!! seriously dont ever stop with ur advice!! :3

oops posted that twice by accident haha sorry dragging



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/06/2016 02:38PM by damyn.

((((Damyn)))) always be yourself.
And, do be planning that escape! You can do it! All the best to you, honey bun!

Mormons embrace technology, except when they don't. When general conference became available by satellite, they put a satellite system in every stake center. The church declared that satellite technology was a miracle wrought by God for bringing forth the Lord's work in the Latter Days. Sure, you could use it for sports and other entertainment, but that was not it's true intention.

It was the same thing for the Internet. The church got on board with a website and carefully controlled and scripted content. But with the proliferation of information--and therefore truth--on the Internet, it became a problem. Then came the smart phone and data links that allowed you to be connected to the Internet at all times with great convenience. Suddenly technology is their enemy, and the narrative has changed. Technology is good, wrought of God, except when it's not. Use the Internet!, except don't!