It was actually kind of exciting, because she is someone I dated once here at BYUI. No details, for anonymity's sake, but she is not a threat to acceptance here as a student.

We've been getting closer, and she's been texting me more, so I let her know. She's been telling me all sorts of things about herself, guilty things and life problems, and I felt we had that sort of confidence in each other. it was just a continuation of that "figgerin' it all out" heart-to-heart conversational style that seems to have worked best with so many of my friends and family.

it's not a "hey, did you know you're wrong?" approach or a "I love you enough to tell you that you're being led astray by a convicted con artist" approach. It's just "hey, I'm having a hard time because my beliefs are different than yours and I feel all this hostility that I don't want to feel, because my feelings towards your beliefs aren't hostile, I just simply disagree and believe some other things in the place of what you would call the fundamental points of Mormon doctrine. Can I tell you about why I feel that way so that this hostility can be taken a tone down?"

Of course, it needs to be done sincerely. Don't do it just to score one against the church at the expense of a loved one. Do it to see how much of your relationship with your loved one can shine through their religious training anyway. Give them a chance to show that they aren't just a cult-member before you call them a cult-member to yourself.

I have great hope that more and more people know someone who has been affected deeply by doubt and Mormon social sanctions to get them to conform. At least they've heard of it and they understand there is more humanity to the issue than the common polemics would lead on. (Jesus, I didn't know being an Exmormon was so much like being gay!)

Protect yourself. Much is lost in textual convo's.

Do not assume emotional content or level of trust when texting.