TBM relative has been out of work for over a year. TBM is over 60 years of age. No job offers. Local Bishop will not provide help because TMB has not been paying tithing. No job no income to pay tithing on. TBM is fixing to lose his house.

I offered to help but was turned down because I do not attend church. Should I feel bad?

No, you shouldn't feel bad.

You tried but they refused on their own reason...even if the reason was illogical. Don't let it hang over your head. You tried to do more than the damn Bishop.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/25/2016 12:07AM by Talon Avex.

You can't fix stupid or ignorant.

RB

TBM is cutting off his nose to spite his face. Please don't feel badly. It's not your fault.

Other Susan

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/25/2016 02:09AM by anybody.

Sounds like he's one of those people who will go only to the church for help, not understanding that the church would rather he go anywhere else for help.

Why does it matter to him that you are inactive?

Here is how effed up this illogic is:

No income = no tithing. (living off food storage?)
No tithing = no assistance. (Huh??)

Therefore,

No income = no assistance!

Makes perfect sense in morgdom.

"Even as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me..." - Jesus Christ

Ditto this Ed......

Gatorman
8-4
9-3

Should you feel bad? No, of course not. You made a kind, timely offer that was refused.

The only further thing I would do is to urge him to sell the house before it goes into foreclosure, if it comes to that. Better to recoup the equity than to lose it.

If you really want to be cheeky, tell him about the local food bank and possible assistance from Catholic Charities.

That's strange, his church would gladly accept money from an inactive member.

No...you offered. He declined.

You could always offer one more time...or a meal..a ride..etc.

But some people's pride is bigger than their common sense.


RMM

OMG.

NO, do not feel bad, question everything.

It sounds like a false guilt trip and sorry attempt to manipulate you into going back to church. Lyin' for the Lord. I'd need to see the letters from the bank, empty pantry, and no lights. Car still in the driveway?

If and when he is "homeless," I'd bet my bottom dollar that his "ethics" about where he might deign to sleep - under a bridge or in your spare bedroom - would "find a way" to adjust to his circumstance.

The TBM relative is about to lose their home. One of their children and grandchildren live with them. No one works. I offered to pay their mortgage up to date (about a year of not making payments). They want to move in with an elderly relative. I think they expect to live for free and inherit the house. The relative has said no.

It's a matter of principle. You don't trade with the enemy. You sure know how to pick 'em.

Master, DH and I have a running bet as to whose family is the nuttiest. So far, his bunch has outdistanced mine. Would you like to enter the pool?

Kathleen nli Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Master, DH and I have a running bet as to whose
> family is the nuttiest. So far, his bunch has
> outdistanced mine. Would you like to enter the
> pool?


By far it would be my ex wife and her family. They would win hands down. The best thing that ever happened to me was Christmas about thirty years ago when the ex jump on her broom and flew off. She really was a witch with a Capital B.

What a silly Billy

Do you actually feel bad?

I disagree with the other poster. I think he should declare bankruptcy so he doesn't lose his house.

There's a lot they can't take when people declare bankruptcy.

And that doesn't mean he'd never pay the mortgage back.

Maybe it is just an excuse because he is too embarrassed or prideful to take your help. Don't give up trying to help him. I think it's a good reflection on you that you try to help others.

Don't give up on him.

Tell him if things get worse and he does lose the house, he can live with you for a reasonable amount of time.

Offer to help him move/store his things as needed.

He may not accept your offer, or he might take advantage of you, but either way you showed your kindness to someone in need. In your heart you know you've done the right thing and can only hope if you were in the same situation someone would step up and help you.

Good point about the cult taking money from anybody and everybody. Maybe you could explain this to your friend. Maybe you could donate to the bishop for your friend. The Bishop might pocket 10%, but your friend would take the rest of the money.

I would move Heaven and Earth for a friend. He needs sound financial and legal advice. A real estate agent would advise him for free. Do whatever you can....

....but don't let the fool move into your house!

My personal boundary with Mormons was to not let them close to my children. Having them in my house would be waaaaaayyy too close!

He's an active moron.

Had he not wasted tens of thousands of dollars on getting his (useless) degree in LDStupidity [or failed, for lack of faith or class], he may be able to keep his real (eternal) home... and his pride.

Find an *active* TBM in his area and see it he'll listen to them and accept their help.

Cult brainwashing.

Talk to him about polishing his resume. And since he is a TBM, I would also tell him to turn to heavenly father for some spirituality.