I'm trying to decide whether to spend lots of money on a plane ticket and travel expenses to go to mine later this summer.

Actually there are two I could attend. The one where I graduated from. And the school classmates I grew up with..

The second I know more of the students, though my family moved away before I started high school.

The last school is in upscale Silicon Valley where I spent only one year, my last year there, as a graduating senior. I formed some friendships, not that many with the kids I finished high school with. And yet I still like to be a part of the activities were I closer and if distance wasn't so great.

Thoughts?

I did, it was sort of fun. The committee picked an un-airconditioned space in August in Minnesota. It happened to be 90 that day with about the same humidity. It was dressy and I think my dress could have walked home without me when it ended.

I will not go to my 50th unless it is a picnic or casual at the local bar. Since I live 6 miles from the high school I attended it is not that big a deal to me. I still see my friends from school fairly often. The ones who moved I am connected with on Facebook.

My total class was just under 900 people so there are probably more people I never met, than people I know and care to see.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 05/11/2017 01:50PM by sbg.

I went to my 10 year reunion for about 20 minutes and left.

My most recent reunion was my 20th, but I didn't go because my graduating class sold out to a corporation that organizes them, and tickets started at $90 per person for one night. There's only a few people from high school that I wanted to have contact with, and thanks to Facebook, I can do that.

I went to my 30th.
Partly because I'd skipped ALL of the earlier ones, partly because it was 40 miles from home, partly because I wanted to see some old friends.
It was OK. Nice to see some folks. Not so great to see others (mostly mormons I'd gone to school with!).

My 40th is next year. Haven't decided whether or not I'll go.
Probably not :)

Good luck with your decision.

I went to mine, was asked to play for some folks to sing. Saw lots of old friends. I grew up in a town where I knew about 1/3 of the kids in the high school since I was 5 years old. A few of the women were in the church nursery with me when I was ~ 3 years old. Old flame from highschool came by for a good talk. In a way those were the people that sort of raised me when you think about it, we know each other in a way other people don't even though we only see each other about every 10 years. A lot of my very mormon friends I grew up with are out of the church or very inactive. One guy brought his husband and was treated very well for being in the middle of Moridor.

Yes. I did go to the 40th. And I will go to the 50th next year.

I like catching up with really good (old) friends.

A few of the guys and I play golf together before the reunion most years. We like each other's company though we only see each other about once a year (due to distance).

My 50th is later this year and I am SO looking forward to it. My class was small and we have lost too many. With my health problems I don't know if this one will be my last but I want to re-connect with old friends now.

Cost is certainly a factor if you have to fly a great distance to get there. I am within driving distance.

I've never gone to any of the reunions because it was never anything I really wanted to do, but along the way, I did complete some "unfinished business" that was still "pending"...

...most importantly: I phoned the mother of someone I REALLY owed some long-overdue apologies to, called him (he had moved across the country after receiving his PhD), and stumbled through some very awkward, and very deeply felt, apologies and explanations. He was super nice and accepting (for which I am grateful), and when he died (several years after that), I knew that the wounds were healed as much as they could have been. This was scary to do...and one of the best things I have done (for me, as much or more as for him).

There is someone else who, totally inadvertently, changed my life because she existed, and I would have liked to explain to her how important she, just by existing, later proved to be in my life, but she died before I could do this. (I've told this story before: this was the Sephardic Jew who was in most of my most important subjects with me, and who, totally inadvertently on her part, was later so pivotal in my becoming a Jew, once I figured out how to actually do it. ;) )

There are other people, in my own graduating class and in other classes, who had profound and lasting effects on me, people who were (to me) extraordinary in some way or another, and who---because they existed---changed my life in significant and lasting ways for the better. I have often wished I could thank each of them for the inadvertent gifts they gave me on so many different levels, but some of them died (one of them by a suicide which made the national news), and most of them would probably have no memory of me, although each of them affected me in a variety of deep, and lifetime-long, ways.

But most of these people were not "reunion" people either, so I (personally) have no regrets that I never went to the reunions as they occurred.

Whatever the "reunion" gene is, I definitely wasn't born with it. :)

I live 6 miles from where my 30th & 40th reunions were held; life hasn't been all that successful the last 15 years, so why go, pay money, and lie about things. I certainly didn't have any stories (or want to hear any) about drunken high school adventures. Those locals who kept saying "Aw, come CNB, we want to see you!" wouldn't want to hear a truthful answer to the obvious "How are you...what have you been up to?".....


Your mileage may vary.

I fully intended to go to my 10-year h.s. reunion -- sent in money, filled out and submitted the "where are you NOW" paperwork without realy even giving any thought to whether or not I really wanted to go -- but wife became gravely ill and it was then a non-issue.

20-year-reunion will be here before I know it. I don't know if I'll go. I was in a far-from-unique position of needing to pretend to be someone I wasn't to avoid embarrassing my parents while I was in h.s. No one held a gun to my head, and my parents didn't even apply all that much pressure. I wasn't the biggest phony on the planet. I certainly didn't put down anyone else who failed to measure up to the church's code of behavior, and I only lied about my escapades to church authorities. I avoided church leadership positions like the plague. I genuinely tried to be a force for good, and stood up for victims of bullying.

Still, I worry about all the "look how President X's kid turned out" whispers and nudges as I sip from my alcoholic beverage. (There's not a chance I'll go if the strongest drink served is punch or root beer.) I suppose I could go just to serve as an example that a person can leave the church an not end up as a bum.

The bottom line for me will be if wife is willing to go. If I cannot show off my wife, it's pointless for me to be there.

You sound like a gem of a husband. Your wife has a keeper. :)

I went to four different schools from the age of fourteen to eighteen. What reunion?

I did that too Don. It made it hard for me to bond with any one school in four years time.

My heart strings are attached to where I grew up. And where I graduated. Lucky for me my graduating class was in a top ten high school (the year I graduated.) These days it pulls top 100 annually. But it was an incredible experience for me to attend there when I did, after my Mormon upbringing in Idaho and Utah.

That one year turned my life around in a good way. It empowered me to dream again, and to believe in myself. I owe that to my graduating class.

My best friend that year was a freshman. My boyfriend was my age, and we clicked well enough. His best friend double dated my best friend. I lost contact with her since then. My boyfriend died by our 20th reunion, so that put a clincher on our meeting again.

But ... that's life. He'd want me to be happy, and go even if he isn't there to schmooze with. I still don't know anyone there hardly.

A few of our classmates have died. Our class gets smaller with each passing decade. If I keep procrastinating there isn't going to be anyone left to see at our reunions. :(

The organizers are really trying to make it happen and special for those who are going. That says a lot for them maturity wise. At our age we're doing good to be able to turn up at all. :)

The years roll by quickly.

As Don's brother, I went to several schools, too.
Elementry: 3
Jr. High:2
High achool: 2
Kinda sucked

jeffbagley Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> As Don's brother, I went to several schools, too.
> Elementry: 3
> Jr. High:2
> High achool: 2
> Kinda sucked

This was my track record:

Elementary: 1st grade: 2
2-8: Same school district, same grade school, then same junior high
High School: 4

Blech is right! Whenever I'd hear Army brats saying they didn't mind moving around, I never understood how they could mean it. I hated having to change schools, especially during high school. Although, my last high school was by far the best out of the four I attended.

I have not attended any HS reunions.For every person I would like to see there are at least Two that I really would not want to see.I seem to see a lot of the old gang at funerals because for some reason,actually drugs and alcohol, our friends seem to die in their 50s if they make it that far .It was all fun and games at keg parties and the like and who knew so many would become alcoholics and heroin addicts.Now that we are all turning 60 this year I hope that's the end of death for classmates until we are all really old and gray

I went to my 30th. It was great to see everyone. BTW my school was in a non Mormon town so there was booze at the reunion in the school gym. Our 50th should have happened last summer but nobody took on the task of organizing it.

Hi Amyjo, you mentioned in another post that you spent some time in Palo Alto in your youth. I was a member of the Palo Alto 1st Ward from the 70s - 90s and attended Paly High. Which ward were you in? I'm very curious if I've ever met you but don't want to reveal my identity - not yet anyway.

Several of the youth that I grew up with in the Palo Alto 1st ward are now inactive.

I enjoy reading your posts.

I was barely active during my years in Palo Alto. I went to the Stanford ward when I did go, on or near the Stanford campus. I lived closest to there.

A couple of times I attended a different ward in another section of Palo Alto as a guest of someone I knew back then. Her children were around my age. You likely remember her crew of kids. Some still live there today. Her children went to Cubberly.

Paly High was very close to where I used to live on College Ave. :)

I don't trust people who like people me. I do still enjoy taking me out to dinner, special occasion or not.

http://screenertv.com/news-features/love-and-hip-hop-atlanta-reunion-fight-cops-vh1/

Reunions are a place to go to view the finest rental cars and to hear the most embellished success stories of all.

If fiction thrills you, GO!

I just missed my 40th a couple of years ago. I recently reconnected with my H.S. class via a Facebook page. I've also reconnected with a number of H.S. friends. I might go to my 45th or 50th. Why? Well, even if my very best friends can't make it, I have to say that my classmates were a genuinely kind bunch. I would not mind renewing some connections and perhaps making some new ones.

Fun fact: I've been informed that Steven Tyler of Aerosmith has been known to occasionally drop in on Boston-area H.S. reunions.

That is a fun fact. He'd be the main attraction at just about any high school reunion, me thinks. :)

There's a famous jazz musician from my graduating class. However he hasn't made any of our high school reunions to date.

I enjoyed my 10 year reunion. I didn't go to the 20th. The 30th had some nice moments and a couple of great conversations.

The 40 year reunion? It was really different. I seriously wouldn't have recognized anyone without a name tag. My former classmates were friendly, but nobody seemed that enthusiastic. It had a strange vibe.

I won't be going to the 50 year reunion--even if I'm still alive.

Robert Louis Stevenson Elementary School. Phoenix, Arizona (no longer in existence). I had never heard of elementary school reunions.

Phoenix Union High School. Coyotes! Good old PU. PU caused fist fights at football games when those other schools held their noses at our touchdowns.
Also no longer around. It was a very big school. DW and I went to my 35th reunion and were living near San Francisco so we stayed with my buddy who was the best man at our wedding. He didn't want to go because he did not graduate from that high school.
But we and our wives went because I told him he could look through the year book and find someone who looked like him and impersonate that guy. Luckily that guy wasn't in attendance.

Arizona State University Class of 1967. At least it's still there and bigger than ever. Go Devils!

Grad school at the University of California Berkeley. MBA Class of '72.
After one reunion at each level I got it out of my system.
And here is my summary comment.
The fun is definitely in reverse proportion to how high up you go.
Grad school BORING. Elementary Reunion an absolute blast!

Our 50th at ASU is this year and we are not going.
So, I really don't have a recommendation for you. Your mileage may vary.
Pay Lay Alol



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/11/2017 07:38PM by Jerry the Aspousetate.

My 20th is this summer and I need to know when it is so I don't visit my hometown the same weekend as its going on. A FB reunion group was starting earlier this year and people kept adding me to it, so I had to figure out how to prevent that from happening again. I went to all my siblings' reunions and it was a bunch of drunk people trying to impress each other. Because of other situations that are out of my control with a former friend turned stalker, I don't want to be on the edge of a panic attack wondering if she's going to show up and start something. One of my friends was so panicked he ended up getting wasted before the evening events and apparently acted like a total jerk, so this is also something I would like to avoid, because I can see myself doing this, too. I've been through a lot in the last 20 years I'm still working through and being around people I really didn't like or didn't like me while pretending to smile and be interested doesn't sound conducive to my mental health.

I already have friends that I actually like to drink with and share ribald stories designed to entertain. If my HS friends want to spend time with me and catch up, we can do it another time.

Ultimately, it's up to you and what you know you want to deal with and handle.

I suggest going to your 40th reunion simply because at that point there's not too many years left for everyone. The person who shows up at the 40th might not show up at the 50th.

After attending the 10th, 20th, 30th and the 40th reunions, the 40th reunion gave me a sense of mortality. More classmates had died by the time the 40th reunion came around.

My 40th reunion was in 2015. The turnout was smaller compared to previous years for a class of 608. Apparently, many people who missed the 40th reunion wanted to have another reunion next year (2016) so another reunion was organized and people attended in 2016 who did not come in 2015.

I did not go to the 2016 one to my regret, especially after seeing pictures of people who attended the 2016 one that I wanted to see in 2015 but they weren't there.

Well, there's Facebook for the meantime.

I went to 25th and 50th. I was catatonically shy until the very end of HS, and didn't know all that many people. Still, I wouldn't have missed it. I have spent my entire adult life between 1,200 to 2,200 miles from where I grew up, so I had very little contact.

At the 25th, a woman who I hardly knew, but always expected to go places, was about to appear on Oprah with Polly Bergen and Rita Moreno. She was a writer for MS, and had a book out about celebrities who had chosen to have an abortion. I guessed right on that one.

At the 50th, the fellow who was the star *everything* in HS (QB on division winning football team, track team, academic full ride to Princeton, never had a zit in his entire life - one of those people) discovered that our lives had more in common than we ever would have imagined, and we were the number 1 and #2 farthest away people at both reunions. I visited him in Stockholm last year, and heard spouse (a Swede who, like me, speaks Portuguese - what are the odds?) planning a trip to Utah, probably next year.

So, maybe nothing will happen, but if you don't go, you guarantee that nothing will happen. I will probably never go again, but I don't regret either trip in the least.

Another bit of serendipity: when I retired I went back east just because I hadn't been there since the 25th reunion. the trip was all planned and a new musical was announced, that would be opening about two weeks before I was to fly into NYC. The Book of Mormon. I figured hey, that could be a hoot, so I bought a ticket before there play even opened. Row 4, center, Saturday night - no problem. Boy did I guess right on that one.

I left my high school on graduation night and promised myself that I would avoid that place of misery for the rest of my life. It's been nearly 30 years and I haven't changed my mind.

Already did. It was a bust. Cost a lot, and none of us knew each other.

No. I went to the 20th out of curiosity and realized there was no one I really wanted to see again.

I went to my 20th, 40th and 50th. I grew up in SLC with a core group of kids who went from kindergarten to high school at the same schools, so unlike DH, who moved several times and only went to his last high school for two years. I was pretty much gone from Utah by the time I was 21.

Going to the reunions was meaningful for me. My two closest friends and a cousin had died by my 40th. Another close friend seemed to have lost her mind in churchiness and didn't go to the reunion, and after exchanging some emails, I'm glad I didn't see her. I did enjoy seeing other friends, but wouldn't want to see them again except at a reunion. It was great to see and kid around with some of the people who either weren't Mormon or were jack Mormons. (I drank wine at my 40th but not at the 50th. Don't think it mattered to anyone.) It was nice to see how some of the guys I had crushes on turned out. Okay, but glad I escaped before I was tempted to marry one of them.

Still, I always have mixed emotions when I visit Salt Lake. I'm somewhat like Humberto, once my folks died I swore I'd never set foot in the place again, but I changed my mind.

My 40th is also this year and I've been wondering the same.

Would be my first reunion - was in military for 10th, and was doing midlife crisis for 20th and 30th, but now might be interested. I worry less about sharing my failures with people.

Though I'm a bit anti-social, and seems awkward to see people I won't recognize. Only had 60 in our class in a small town, but probably still won't know them. Hopefully have name tags on our foreheads.

We'll see - might depend on my mood that day.

There was something like 178 in my graduating class.

Now we're down to God only knows. Some have fallen off the radar in the intervening years. The ones we know have died are recorded in the high school alumni rolls.

If not for the travel cost and the great distance involved I'd go, no question about it.

I've already made two big trips thus far this year. One planned, the other not (funeral.) So it's the expense I'm considering along with the timing.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/15/2017 09:26AM by Amyjo.

I wasn't invited to the tenth*, and never heard of any of my classmates after that either. Some years ago, I tried to contact the one friend I made, via her mother, but never got a reply.

So, it's a simple decision: no, even if I got an invitation.
I've never wanted to intrude where I'm not welcome.


--
* Yes I'm sure they knew where I lived.

It sounds as though you had a very small graduating class?

That does sound off putting.

On my Facebook page is where I've been able to connect with two high schools. The one where my childhood chums grew up and went to. And the one I graduated from.

I have FB friends from one of the other high schools I attended. A tiny high school in Idaho, where there were only 78 kids in the entire school. 16 in my freshman class alone.

Somehow we've been able to reconnect through Facebook. But I wouldn't go to that hs reunion, even were I invited.

I live in N Europe. Our reunions usually consist of _a_ class, we were 42 at the most in my class. There were five classes altogether that year but the reunions usually don't gather all of them. Five classes A-E, five reunions. I hardly knew anybody from the other classes.

Small town, small classes. I haven't even visited the town since 2005 and feel no inclination to do that for any reason. I was a bit disappointed when the one friend I tried to contact, didn't reply. But that was her choice, and years ago too. C'est la vie.

I am not planning on attending my 40th h.s. reunion. I still live in the same area so distance/travel is not a problem. The problem is that I was never very social during those years and made few friends. I wouldn't mind reconnecting with some of them but when we had the 30th h.s. reunion, they posted pictures on a website. I looked through them and I wanted to reconnect with none of them.

Most definitely NOT! I hated high school and couldn't stand most of the people there.

I do keep in touch with two or three folks, but that's it... as for the rest of them, meh.

I went to my 25th five years ago and my 30th is coming up this summer. I will actually be in town this year, right on the date, so I could go, but I'm thinking not.

What I found was that everyone dropped right back into the same old roles we'd all played before. The shy giggly girl was still shy and giggly. The gossips were still gossiping. The jocks were still jocky. I still felt like I didn't fit in and overcompensated with inappropriate jokes the whole time.

The only differences were some of the women had become complete gun nuts and many of my classmates had become brainwashed born-again jesus freaks. Beyond that, everyone and everything was the same, only thicker around the middle and less/gray hair.

Unless there's someone you were/are close with and there's no other way to visit or see that person, then I wouldn't bother. Or contact the few people you are interested in reuniting with and just set up a small dinner party or something.

This is helpful advice, dogzilla.

There is one woman I didn't know at all in high school who has befriended me on Facebook, who is one of the reunion committee chairmen.

She's Jewish, like I am. After pondering that a wee bit, I realize though there were some brilliant people in my graduating class, there wasn't a strong Jewish population there.

So at least I'll know one kindred spirit if I go?

There were some very popular kids back in high school, of which I wasn't one. I was accepted however, and not looked down upon by my peers. We sort of had our specialty niches in high school. Mine was music. Even there we had loads of competition among peers. It was a competitive school, albeit one that fostered our imagination and initiative. 85% or more of my graduating class went onto college.

In the Mormon high schools I'd moved away from by my senior year, they were ten times worse than my graduating class was in terms of cliques and snobbery. I was ever so thankful to be given that school as the one to receive my diploma from. :)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/15/2017 01:31PM by Amyjo.

-10 Year reunion
Everybody exaggerates their business title and importance. High school clicks still around

-20 Year reunion
At leasts half of the people have new spouses

-30 Year reunion
Start seeing health problems (also drug and alcohol)

-40 Year reunion
Nobody cares what you do for a living, just want to enjoy themselves.

-50 Year
Still a few years away.

Besides my "best" girlfriend who was a freshman, and my guy friend who was same age as me, in high school my other closest friends were my roommates my senior year.

I was the oldest of the group, being the only senior among them. Two were juniors. Two were sophomores.

We became sort of like sisters during our time in the semi-independent living program. They came from very wealthy families, mostly. One of their father's earned $500 a day back in 1976. I couldn't imagine earning that much money then, and still can't.

And yet he was an abusive, mean and controlling father.

I just checked her whereabouts out online. And learned she has today a criminal rap sheet for drug possession including meth, DUI, child endangerment, etc. She wasn't a Mormon when I knew her, but currently resides in Utah. Maybe she converted? Her boyfriend (he was my age,) in high school was LDS. Although it doesn't appear they got married. Her criminal rap sheet is still under her maiden name, after all these years. She wasn't a delinquent when I knew her. At least not one with a rap sheet. She was into partying then. I barely got any sleep living there with those party girls. Boys over all the time, going to concerts, etc. Oy, the good old days weren't all so great. Granted, I did enjoy the concerts we went to. :)

However, not someone I'll be wanting to meet up with anytime soon. She wasn't in my graduating class, but her boyfriend was. He was bad to the bone, even as a Mormon lad.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 05/15/2017 03:13PM by Amyjo.

My 40th high school reunion is well over 30 years away from now but I did not get to go to my 10 year reunion because I could not afford to go. I had just moved back home from college and I was still working on finding a job.

Kativicky,

I was able to go to my 10th reunion, and haven't been able to afford to go to the 20th, or 30th.

I *could* go to the 40th. Now the decision is do I want to spend that much moolah on a trip I probably won't really enjoy all that much?

The upside is I might get some closure from going - not that I need it. Add that I have an ancestor buried across the street from my high school where I graduated from - I haven't visited her grave since I was a senior there. It would be nice to pay my respects to her memory. (I could do that from here, but it's just not the same.)

She was buried in 1918. My high school wasn't built until nearly five decades later. What are the odds that I'd have a great grandmother buried where I was a displaced waif? And she'd been a SCHOOLTEACHER during her lifetime. Right across the street from my high school where she lies buried in a circle of WWI soldiers.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/15/2017 09:54PM by Amyjo.

I'm probably going to my 40th this year...it'll be the first one I attend. And probably the last. I have family and friends in the area, otherwise, I'd not make the trip.

Sweet!

Here's hoping you have a wonderful time. Or at least memorable. :)

There are so many people I never knew. At the 20th I hung out with a group of strangers. We were just standing in a circle and taking turns telling how stupid we have been in the intervening years. One guy had married the same lady 3 times, and divorced 3x. That was way more fun than telling about our triumphs.

It was just stimulating to speak openly with folks my same age.

I say go, but go with high energy or stay home.