When the bishop pulled me into his office, told me that "friends" (meaning not-friends who were nasty little tattletale busybodies trying to get me in trouble) had told him I was "seriously dating" a (gasp!) Catholic girl. When I was the priest quorum leader!
What a horrible example I was setting! What a treacherous path I was on! Didn't I know that this (gasp!) Catholic girl didn't have LDS morals, that she would surely entice me into the awful sins of lust and petting and French kissing and even S E X? That S E X was no big deal for Catholics, because all they had to do was say a few "Hail, Mary"(s) and be forgiven, when we LDS knew that S E X was Heavenly Father's holy gift to married couples, and nothing else? And that this (gasp!) Catholic girl would no doubt make me unworthy to serve a mission, or be married in the temple, or receive my reward in the celestial kingdom? And that if I didn't dump her right away -- RIGHT AWAY, MEANING TONIGHT -- that the Bishop would have to consider me as a candidate for disfellowshipment?
What I did: I cowered, and nearly cried, and apologized, and called her that night and dumped her.
What I wish I'd done: Told him to f*ck off, that she was a better, more moral person than he'd ever be, and that who I dated was none of his damn business.
Is that why I got such crap for my short hair at BYU? (and esp. got it from my father).. is there really something scriptural that is referred to? I don't think that can be right, unless he was thinking of what's his face who looses all his power when his hair is cut (blanking on the name).. interesting isn't it? That in the bible seems like all the men, esp. holy ones had long hair, yet Mormon men are supposed to keep their hair short. Weirdly my TBM sis in law has always had her hair short and thinks it's very unclean for anyone (including women) to have long hair. So my niece's ultimate rebellion towards her mom was to grow her hair really really long!
Being that I was engaged to someone gay and I was supposed to be saving him, and I wasn't supposed to tell anyone about the situation, I had moved home to get away from the situation and so when we finally decided to get married, I had to go to my COUSIN for my TR.
He thought I was hiding something. Well I was. I tried to explain that I wasn't supposed to tell and especially not tell about what the bishop before had told us to do, which I refused to do anyway, but I was one messed up broken person at that time. My cousin wanted to postpone my wedding since I wouldn't tell him what was going on. He made me feel like shit. I was destroyed. I cried for days.
When he later found out the truth, he tried to be overly nice to me. He still tries whenever family is together or I run into him. I despise the man. I was his mother's favorite niece and we were very, very close. She even had issues with him.
I quit going to talk to bishops after I got married. I had only one more TR after that. I refused to even go to tithing settlement. My callings pretty much all came from people like the RS president or the YW president or primary president, etc.
The LAST time I talked to a bishop was when he told me my husband would be one of the next 2 bishops. My husband was his ex.sec. He pursued talking to me for a long time and I refused. I finally did go in. My husband was embarrassed by the fact that I wouldn't go in. Once I knew what he wanted, I went inactive as my ex was cheating on me with men and I wasn't going there again. That was the LAST TIME I had a little chat with a bishop.
Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 07/17/2017 11:50PM by cl2.
> anyway, but I was one messed up broken person at > that time. My cousin wanted to postpone my wedding > since I wouldn't tell him what was going on. He > made me feel like shit. I was destroyed. I cried > for days.
sounds like the MORmON model for MORmON style matrimonial happiness (MISERY) in action right there!!!
I looked straight at the MTC President and a G.A. who was sitting next to him and said, "You sons of bitches" just before telling them that I was through with my mission. They had breached my confidentiality, pissed me off, and I was out of there.
Going home to my family as an "early returned missionary" was a whole other type of HELL. Still...40+ years later...no regrets.
There's one in particular where my stake president pressed me about an issue that I had already resolved with my bishop during a pre-mission interview.
I was deft and polite in the way I dealt with it, but inside I was quite mad.
Looking back on that experience, I wish I had just told him: "F___ off. I don't need to go on this mission. I was volunteering, but I'm not volunteering to discuss this with you. This interview is over, and I'm leaving."
there is so much that I could report on this topic.
As a MORmON Aaronic (erroronic) priestDUD holder, being interrogated in private by a middle aged man of supposed authority and entitlement to probe that topic, the bishop, about whether or not I was masturbating at age 12. HORRIBLE !!!!! Absolutely inexcusable !!!
That same (fucking asshole) bishop made it a point to come into our ward teachers quorum a few years later and inform us 15 year old priestDUD holders that as we came closer to approaching official MORmON dating age, we needed to keep MORmON style dating propriety in mind at all costs, that included not making out with our date. Being able to date did not necessarily mean being able to go crazy kissing on a girl, (you know -like his sons did making out with the girls they were riding to early morning seminary with in the seminary car pool)
As proper MORmON priestDUD holders, We needed to keep in mind that the only appropriate kissing with our date, IF we had to go to the wild ragged self indulgent( unholy) extreme of actually doing it !!!! would be at the end of the date, departing with the very same kind of kiss that we would give our mother.
It was another Classic MORmON instance of a MORmON message that some MORmON Asshole really needed to be telling to his own children, but he dished it onto somebody else's kids instead.
....And after promoting screwed up manipulative garbage like them, then the POS MORmON leaders wonder why so many MORmONS are totally screwed up sexually.... or why they have so many 30 something RMs who have never married and show no sign of ever getting married.
Yah, I hope that asshole bishop is stricken with prostate cancer, since he was so obsessed with sexual matters.