Posted by:
sunbeep
(
)
Date: October 08, 2017 04:02AM
Elder Jeffrey R. Holland recently addressed a group of young adults in Tempe, AZ, to speak out on what he sees as an alarming trend among Mormon singles. “This may not be a very good word for an apostle to use, but I am furious about the scallywags who belly-flop off the Good Ship Mormonism.”
The mood intensified as Holland gave specific details about his felt consternation. “Now I know some of you may be thinking, ‘There goes old McJeffrey O’Holland again. That Irishman just doesn’t understand the carnival barking we face today.’ Well let me tell you, my young navel-gazing friends: you may think that your testimony is bully enough to withstand apostate flapdoodle, but it’s all fiddle-faddle and horsefeathers.”
The quivering Holland said that changing religious affiliation for any reason was proof positive of entitlement among millennials, leaving non-Mormon investigators in the audience flummoxed. “Young people today think they have a right to get flimflammed by facts and information—as if the truth were something you could just taffy-pull up online. As if good-ole sturdy faith didn’t matter. As if this was all plain-to-see gimcrack. As if none of this mattered. What a bunch of poppycock! Well if this church were built on facts, there would be no room for faith.”
Of all the current apostles sitting in the red velvet chairs, I really hope that one day Mr. Jeffrery becomes the main spokesman for the mighty mormon church. Yeah, that would be awesome indeed.
http://beehivebugle.com/2016/05/06/elder-holland-furious-apostate-flapdoodles[Admin note: This is satire]
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/08/2017 02:30PM by Eric K.