Did anybody else feel this way? I did not want to be touched or forced to wear certain things even if the church was legit. This was a big deal to me and still is.
neck hurts is painful. It may cause a jarring pain or muscle tightening pain-
Mormon wards in the past had no boundaries- men reach out continually to hug passing by in hallways, do the arm grab draggin you after shaking a hand you reach out as posited by social custom- they somehow tall men roll you into their arms and unspool you walking through the halls. between men its like the two arm pat down, hand shake neck embrace arm drag across wide tall backs as two men pass in the upholstered cinder block blue orange carpet corridor snaking in a swaggering square dance style along the men chancing to meet changing rooms between meetings on the squared corner circle hallway that makes up most California Mormon meeting houses. go to church prepare to be patted up patted down circle hugged swung around.
come to think of it- between surgeries perhaps that part of the particular painfulness triggered in mormony events back then for me, making it painfully aversive to meet large groups of Mormons. Physical pain months before and after surgeries getting hugged swung patted arms pumped by big man's hand grabs (instead of upper arms holding body straight erect core muscles balance against abdominal pain)
My oldest lds friend avoids church whenever her back and neck hurts, even when she's in a a wheelchair. People never leaving her alone, wanting her to reach up touch each extended hand never realizing aware it hurts her back she's in pain, even more pain the next day. Often now (sadly for her she likes it there) she just sends her husband to church. What if the Mormon culture had less grabbing hand dragging hugging patting
how much easier would that be for folks battling physical pain? when colleagues and site management at one of my work places met me and other workers fairly frequently one site manager would reach out and touch the center of the upper back in a resounding slap or pat, they would frequently stroke the upper arm, they often pull you into a hug if they're taller than you. just walk anywhere near them and they start stroking your back reaching around you.
avoiding all erogenous zones being as careful and cautious to avoid sexuality and harassing
however if someone was in pain in the neck or back or had carpal tunnel syndrome it might be painful, even if it was intended as inclusion or social connection or even employee management.
however in the Mormon ward its like no one owns their own skin. Other people reach out to touch one's back, reach down press their tall chest into your face pulling you into an embrace
not so quick making a slick emotional or psychological typing personality label on this. but btw having groups of men reach out constantly feeling your body or arm is their territory- in large groups would be quite triggering to some. The culture may empower the predatory.
Well, the touching that happens during the washing and anointing ceremony in the temple has often crossed the bounds of common decency over the years. The garment feel-up is another example.
One thing that came as a surprise to me as a teacher was to learn that some people do not like to be touched. So I honor that. If a child appears to be uncomfortable when I touch him or her, then I talk to the child about it and stop doing it.
You appear to be one of those people, and that's perfectly okay. You are not alone in having those feelings. It's surprisingly common.
I considered working as an intake officer for the women's quarter in my hometown as a young woman. Was called to interview for the position but another woman was hired instead of me. One of the duties was doing a full body search including private body parts when women came into the jailhouse.
Word was that they were some badass women no doubt getting arrested.
The woman hired was a petite, blonde, blue-eyed young woman who'd never been in a brawl, let alone inside a prison.
I ran into her a few weeks later and asked how things were going. She told me she quit after one or two days. Can't say as I blame her.
I did work for a police station my senior year in high school where it was one of the first in the United States to employ female police officers. At that time it had six on the police force of a mostly male staff. The largest of those women was violently assaulted making a traffic stop/DUI arrest because she was a woman.
The guy threw her up on top of the police car, broke her collar bone, and caused her severe bodily harm. She was out of work for weeks. She was probably the toughest woman cop on the police force. The male drunken chauvinist apparently didn't take kindly to being arrested by a woman.