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Posted by: Richard G Scott ( )
Date: November 06, 2017 09:32PM

If the church ever realized the policy of bishops and stake presidents asking questions to minors during worthiness questions and interviews about masturbation etc was doing harm or affecting eh reputation of the church and causing bad press or news,would it alter and modify the practice?I did regarding blacks and the priesthood in 1978. Continuing sex abuse lawsuits could bring the issue out in to the open and cause the church to review its policies.It could cause legal liabilties in civil law suits in sex abuse cases.

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: November 07, 2017 01:19AM

They'd have to change their thinking about masturbation itself, not just how they dealt with it.

Remember, it a sin right up there with murder..

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Posted by: BYU Boner ( )
Date: November 07, 2017 01:36AM

If the Morg can change the temple ceremony, garments, and priesthood bans, it can change self-pleasuring questions.

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Posted by: weeder ( )
Date: November 07, 2017 09:24AM

The revelation will follow. As I learned in seminary, the Lord usually waits until the crisis is critical before the inspiration follows.

Just like all those semi-white Brazilians entering the temples of the Lord. Something just had to be done to make it right in 1978.

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Posted by: ificouldhietokolob ( )
Date: November 07, 2017 11:03AM

Salt Lake City (AP), April 6, 2020

The LDS Church announced today that the church's "prophet, seer, and revelator," Dieter Uchtdorf, has received a revelation reversing a long-time church policy.

"The Lord has told our prophet that masturbation is healthy, natural, and entirely holy," said church spokesman Randall Christenson. "Henceforth, all members will be encouraged to masturbate regularly to maintain long-lasting health, both physical and mental," he added.

Christenson said the prophet received the revelation while supplicating the Lord for guidance alone in the Salt Lake Temple. He suddenly felt the Spirit of the Lord come upon him, and in a voice that felt like thunder, he heard the words, "Dieter, you jack-off!" The prophet took this as a command, and did as he was instructed. Despite his age and persistent difficulty achieving an erection, by the power of the Spirit he managed to comply, and upon finishing felt such a powerful feeling of holy release, that he knew this was the Lord's instruction for the entire church.

Accordingly, local bishops will change their "worthiness interview" questions for youth. Formerly, bishops would ask youth if they had been masturbating, and if they had, would chastise them or impose church discipline on them. Going forward, the same question will be asked, but if the youth reply negatively, they will be instructed to attend "temple preparation classes" where they will receive instruction in holy masturbation.

The prophet's "revelation" is currently being written up, and will be submitted to the church membership for sustaining as church canon at the faith's annual Spring General Conference this week. Confirmation is virtually assured, said Christenson, who then excused himself to go to his private bathroom and follow the commandments of the Lord.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/07/2017 11:10AM by ificouldhietokolob.

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: November 07, 2017 11:22AM

And you claim to not believe in the woo!! Here is proof positive that you're a wooser! You have pierced the veil and seen into the futute!

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Posted by: BYU Boner ( )
Date: November 07, 2017 08:30PM

I’m IN!!!

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Posted by: readwrite ( )
Date: November 07, 2017 08:17PM

The new policy: don't ask (directly) don't tale (good stories cost less). Can tscc change (THEIR) policy? History says yes, but usually only in light of the truth being shared, usually by an Ex-mormon, and public opinion and the law.

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Posted by: donbagley ( )
Date: November 07, 2017 08:46PM

They must do it.

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Posted by: readwrite ( )
Date: November 11, 2017 10:33AM

It'll change when young (or old) men [and their flunking families, friends and fellow so-called concerned (if ill-informed, or even awake) members] SAY THEY WILL. In other words, probably in the not-too-distant future. When enough of them (the right ones, who are left) start to raise a ruckus and demand tscc 'stop trying to "shuck" us'.

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