I'm in a really vicious health cycle. I have severe depression, so it's hard to have the motivation or energy to deal with my chronic health condition, which already makes me tired and sick enough.But, I could really help my condition if I exercised, ate right, and got more sleep, but I'm always depressed, so the last thing i want to do is go the grocery store, fix meals, or exercise.

I don't know what to do. It's so frustrating. I don't have any willpower.

I'm far from an expert in this field. My best guess that you are already under the care of a primary health provider. If such is not the case, it would be an excellent start. You also would presumably benefit from a counselor or therapist of some sort. They're not all created equally, so find one that is a good fit for you, which can be daunting when your energy level is already low, I acknowledge. Also, if you could think of just one thing in life that might give you pleasure, however simple or complex (driving to a river thirty miles from your home and watching the water fowl, or eating once or twice a month a restaurant you enjoy that is within your budget, for example), do it as often as is practical for you. This might be a start in the right direction.

I wish I could sy or do more to help.

scmd not logged in Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I'm far from an expert in this field. My best
> guess that you are already under the care of a
> primary health provider. If such is not the case,
> it would be an excellent start. You also would
> presumably benefit from a counselor or therapist
> of some sort. They're not all created equally, so
> find one that is a good fit for you, which can be
> daunting when your energy level is already low, I
> acknowledge. Also, if you could think of just one
> thing in life that might give you pleasure,
> however simple or complex (driving to a river
> thirty miles from your home and watching the water
> fowl, or eating once or twice a month a
> restaurant you enjoy that is within your budget,
> for example), do it as often as is practical for
> you. This might be a start in the right
> direction.
>
> I wish I could sy or do more to help.
_____________________________________________________________

I agree, after medical advice you really should see a therapist. Even if it is 'concerning' for many to have to seek therapist help. It can enhance your life and correct issues.

I take periodic community psychology classes from a therapist that teaches the 'latest and greatest' things he is using to work with athletes, and people with issues from all over the world.

I will be honest and say I use 'many' of the techniques he teaches in my life on a routine if not 'daily' basis. To cover indications of issues before major issues occur. Also I use them to 'enhance my life'!

I believe my athletic competitors and my friends are at a great 'disadvantage' not knowing about these 'psychological/brain techniques' to literally improve peoples lives.

Fortunately or unfortunately, a lot of our 'issues' are because of our mindset versus our health!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/26/2018 10:31AM by spiritist.

I suggest you contact your local NAMI office to find some help.

https://www.nami.org/
National Alliance on Mental Illness


I have chronic health problems including depression and I can tell you that little changes accumulate over time.

Eat something easy to prepare. I think Harmons has a great salad bar and their deli has prepared salads. Get some chicken tenders to go with it. They also sell bagged salads and prepared fresh fruits and vegetables.

You can start exercising by walking. If you're not up to walking around the block then walk to the end of the street. Add a little bit each day. When its cold you can go to a large store and walk around it a few times.

To help you sleep turn off your computer and TV an hour before you go to bed.

Ask yourself "What can I do today to make tomorrow better?"

Hope this helps.

I feel the same way.

Do you mind telling us (roughly) how old your are?

What are you doing to treat the depression? It sounds serious.

Seek medical advice and treatment for that first. Mnemonic and scmd has some really good advice for taking simple steps towards better health.

Get a physical checkup. Doctors treat depression like they do other things affecting your physical health. When your depression is under control the other things you're having difficulty with will likely improve also.

A simple walking program is good for mental health. It doesn't take very much to put on some walking shoes and take a walk for starters.

Amyjo Wrote:
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>
>It doesn't take very much to put on some
> walking shoes ...


It really does, though.

With this kind of of exhaustion and depression, putting on shoes feels like moving a piano to the attic.

I have to drink coffee and take Excederin (for the caffeine) the minute I wake up just to be able to lift my head up. Some medicine like blood pressure medicine makes the exhaustion even worse.

Profoundly tired.

If you're able to type on a keyboard, is it any less effort to put on some shoes?

Even a good pair of slip-on shoes? Are you able to get out of the house for simple things like checking your mail? Going to the grocery store, etc?

I envision getting better as a series of baby steps. If you can't visualize yourself running half a marathon anytime soon. Do the little things that can help you find your energy reserves.

Treating the depression is huge, for starters.

With your other health ailments like blood pressure - the medication alone can be causing your extreme fatigue. With the added depression it becomes compounded.

From the Mayo Clinic, some helpful info on chronic fatigue and its symptoms, and treatments

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/chronic-fatigue-syndrome/diagnosis-treatment/drc-20360510

Regarding the Mayo Clinic suggestions for treating Chronic Fatigue:

These suggestions are now debunked within the CFS/ME community (google "PACE study" for more information)

People with CFS/ME need to be extremely careful about exercise - anything that raises the heart rate can be harmful and doing too much *will* have a long-term negative impact. Many people following the Mayo Clinic / PACE trial advice ended up bed ridden for years.

The current best advice is to determine what activity level you can do consistently without causing a crash ("Post Exertional Malaise") and then do a bit less than that.

The current research on Myalgic Encephalomyelitis indicates that there is a problem at the muscular cellular level clearing waste products that occur when the body is in anaerobic mode. The leading CFS/ME exercise researcher (Dr. Klimas) currently recommends that people with CFS/ME exercise while flat on their backs in order to keep their heart rate lower and work their way up to 3 minutes of exercise. (No more than 3 minutes)

If you have depression - exercise can be a fantastic help and is highly recommended. If you have Chronic Fatigue / Myalgic Encephalomyelitis, it is the wrong answer. It is important to work with your health professional to identify your specific situation.

https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2017/10/02/554369327/for-people-with-chronic-fatigue-syndrome-more-exercise-isnt-better

/moving off my soapbox - Mayo Clinic is hurting a lot of people right now and I'm tired of it./

See your primary care physician. He will either recommend a good (non-Mormon) therapist, or he, himself might get you started on an antidepressant. Be patient, as the pills take a few weeks to take effect. If one type of pill doesn't work, try another pill. The odds are in your favor, that you will find the right antidepressant for you.

In the meantime...here are a few tips that worked for me. These are merely "band-aids" and might seem a little silly, but they work.

Take a bath or shower, and wash your hair. That's my great-grandmother's tip, and she went through some horrendously bad experiences.

"Action precedes motivation." That's what my psychiatrist told me. You say that you don't have any willpower, so accept that. I used to wait until I was "in the mood" to exercise, do unpleasant chores, etc, and I never was. The secret is to start moving. If you're in bed, lift your legs up and roll your feet, stretch your hamstrings, sit up and raise your arms in the air, and do arm circles. Stand up and stretch. Any motion is better than staying still. Your next goal is to put on your shoes.

I hated exercising, and hated the gym, and the hardest thing I had to do was put on those shoes. I got some cute exercise clothes, and once they were on, I would get in the car and drive. I told myself that I would drive the 15 minutes to the gym, and after I got there, if I still didn't want to exercise,I would turn around and go home. I actually did that, just one time. The rest of the time, it worked. It was aerobic dancing, in a fun group, with music.

Find an exercise you enjoy. During a later rough time in my life, I walked my dog every day. Dogs encourage you to walk, by whining and nosing you and running back and forth between you and the door. Dogs even have a time clock, and know when to get you up and out! A dog is a great motivator!

Often, music motivates you, but you need to know how to use music correctly. If you are very depressed, begin with music that's still a little depressing, and then gradually switch to more upbeat, faster music. If you immediately blast your ears with loud, fast music, you won't like it, and you will turn it off.

Take deep breaths. Everyone knows that singing cheers you up, but you might not feel like singing. The deep breathing helps just as much.

If you don't feel like eating, drink a glass of water.

Smile, even though it's a fake smile.

Change your location. This works for anxiety, also. Take your blanket and pillow, and go into another room, or outside. Pace around.

Coffee and chocolate work for me, but not if I use these every day. The caffeine gives you a boost out of bed, and into activity. Never eat caffeine during an anxiety attack, however.

Arm yourself. Have funny movies ready to watch. Put funny cartoons or pictures where you can see them--anything that will make you smile. Be around children and animals. Go out in nature, watch a bunch of chickens, feed the ducks. Simple things will distract you, and get some lighter thoughts into your darkened mind.

I told you these things might seem silly--but try them. They really work--well, temporarily, anyway. You still need professional help.

exhaustion is not just a symptom of depression, it can be an indicator of underlying, more acute and more easily treatable problem, such as heart disease or failure. Do not panic and think your heart is about to give out, it's probably not. However, if your limbs are feeling like lead weights from time to time and things that used to seem a 'mountainous task' when viewed through depressed eyes actually become more like climbing a mountain task due to the weight perceived in your limbs you are likely at risk of your heart 'underperfoming'.

This was my problem due to the stresses of discovering the betrayal from *church* and the fallout from my mormon family. I did not realise it at the time, but as the exhaustion kept increasing, I kept telling myself off for not doing 'more', blaming my brain imbalance in it's chemistry. My meds would get adjusted but the exaustion just did not lift, then I developed a cough and was starting to become generally weaker, unable to open lids, carry groceries, many other things, then I thought I had a chest infection but never seemed to get over it and my appetite was almost nil - and not just due to depression and being unable to make a choice as to what to prepare to eat. Last symptom was breathlessness, which I eventually got checked out - I had lost track of time due to day to day stuff and didn't know how long these symptoms had actually been going on - 6 months, 3 years? I didn't know exactly.

Turns out, my heart was not working optimally. I went to the hospital for tests and was admitted immediately: my heart function was so low they were surprised I had not had a heart attack (too stubborn) and further suprised at my having this problem at my *young* age (their words). They started medical treatment and within about 3 days I looked a different person and felt a massive difference too, especially when the excess fluid that was making my limbs feel like dead weights was drained off.

It's a slower recovery than I am used to but then I'm not in my teens or twenties with a dose of beijing flu or a broken bone. I'm very 'lucky' in that I do not have diseased arteries or any other sign of disease or damage so I should make a full and complete recovery. I do now wonder if my meds for my depression are perhaps too high since the last time they were adjusted might have been in response to my heart trouble rather than my chemical imbalance in my brain. I also had to give in and tell my cardiac nurse about leaving the faith of my family and the stress this event has caused me. I don't think I admitted the severity of it to myself before now, but she *got it* straight away and reckoned that would explain my current 'unwellness', without a doubt.

Please, if none of the good advice you have already been given works, get your heart function checked out. Tell your doctor about the emotional duress you have been under trying to extricate yourself from your 'family faith' and have him/her investigate your heart function.

Living with depression can be tough, but it is not always the reason for every ailment you endure. Life should be better for you and I trust eventually you will enjoy that better life to the full (with your depression under control).

When my shelf came crashing down from realizing TSCC was a cult, has always been a cult, and will always be a cult, was the last Sunday I spent in a three hour block session.

As I drove away from the church house for the last time that Sunday I felt one of the worst depressions of my life settling in because of how betrayed and how defrauded I felt that day. (It was also freeing at the same time because of my resolve I was finally done with living a lie and all the pretension associated with it.)

Definitely finding the truth out about the cult, and the awareness that brings to a lifelong member had its fallout.

The healing came the longer I was out. With a competent therapist, and keeping myself surrounded with the people and things I love. Being nurturing includes self-nurturing. As a mother I can't help my children if I can't help myself.

Healing for me isn't only about me. I do it in addition for those I love.

Never lose hope. Don't give up. Embrace each day as one of hope and renewal.

Glad you were able to get to the bottom of your underlying ailment/s and were able to receive the right kind of treatment for that.

Road to recovery can be comprehensive as you've experienced first hand.

Were the doctors able to pinpoint with certainty what exactly it was you were suffering from? Like the excess fluids, etc., that needed to be drained ... does it have a name?

thanks for your concern amyjo, I have what is commonly referred to as heart failure, which doesn't mean my heart is on it's way out; it means it is not working optimally. My heart muscle has become quite enlarged. I didn't have an 'incident' of any sort, it was picked up after I had felt the way the opie did for quite some time. Exhausted, and trying to push myself to be more 'healthy' to improve my symptoms, thinking my exhaustion was all down to my mental unwellness. I have for years suffered with a 'stomach problem' which makes me violently ill which I believed was psycho-somatic and induced by stress, (usually related to my mormon family) but according to the cardiac nurse, it was another symptom of my heart failing and the excess fluid that accompanies the failure building up very, very slowly.

People who live with mental unwellness can often forget that we can have symptoms that are nothing to do with our mental health and everything to do with our physical health. We don't like to be a bother and, especially if we have a mormon background, we can be too hard on ourselves.

Long lasting exhaustion that does not let up after a good rest is an indicator of physical ailments, it is not always a symptom of a long term chronic mental 'unwellness', whether under good management or not.

Opie - get checked, soon, at least so you can rule it out.

Are you on meds for your depression?

Regarding the food issue, almost all of my meals are take out or prepared foods that I get from a local grocery store. Look for a smaller grocery store that might have a better selection of things made in-house.

There are many days when I feel too tired after work to put together a decent meal. I've found what helps is to not wait too long for dinner (move the prep time up,) and to hydrate. When I come home I pour myself a tall glass of ice water and drink it while I am relaxing. It sounds goofy, but it helps.

The thing to do is pick one little change that you think you can implement, and focus solely on that change.

It could be something as simple as going for a walk every day. It can be a small walk, but something you are pretty confident you can make yourself do every day.

As far as diet, here is the best diet I know. You can have ALL you want of ANYTHING you want. You can eat a whole chocolate cake or a gallon of ice cream if you want.

The only catch is, you have to eat eight servings of vegetables before you start on the cake and ice cream. Vegetable juice counts as a vegetable. In fact nothing will heal you faster than FRESH vegetable juice.

It is called the eight-bracelet diet (rubber bands will do the trick also.)

First thing in the morning, put eight rubber bands on one wrist. Each time you eat a serving of vegetables, transfer one rubber band to the other wrist.

When you have transferred all eight rubber bands, you can start eating donuts, cupcakes, anything you want.

The theory is after you have eaten EIGHT servings of vegetables, you won't be craving the sweet sugary stuff.

Go for walks EVERY DAY. Start small, and work up to longer, faster walks. But walk, don't run. There are enough runners on the road.

Go for a walk, go on the eight-bracelet diet.

You might not need to go to counseling if you can force yourself to do that.

Lois

This diet might work for me if it included fruits with the vegies.

I try to get in a good mix of vegies and fruits each day. Eight servings of vegies sounds like blech to me.

If I add fruits into that mix, then it's suddenly way more palatable.

Okay. Add fruits. Apples, oranges, bananas. But you have to have eight servings before you get your gallon of ice cream.

This diet is WONDERFUL, because you never feel deprived. You KNOW you can eat those no-nos at the end of the day.

But at the end of the day you will not want the no-nos.

So it is all good.

In fact, I've got MYSELF psyced up.

I really don't feel like wearing eight bracelets, so I'll go with rubber bands.

Then I will break out the juicer, and the blender (I have bad teeth, trouble chewing) and chow down on those fruits and vegetables.

I wonder if you faithfully adhered to this diet, and you kept a gallon of your favorite ice cream in the fridge, how long it would be before you ever sampled the ice cream.

Eight servings of fruits and vegetables will pretty much fill you up.

Take it a day at a time or less. Do what helps you for a few hours and congratulate yourself. Try to stretch the time as you get a bit stronger. Don't give up. We're all sending our best good wishes. We do want you to improve and feel better. Try to do something you like, perhaps see a special movie or read something cheering.

Rest, food, and exercise are very important. Would it help to work on only one of those for now if all three are too daunting?

It is a vicious cycle. Serious depression deserves/requires medical attention.

During one bad depression, I was eating a whole food vegan diet and exercising at least 6 hours a week. All the good advice in the world wasn't going to replace that medication that lifted me out of the black hole.

Psychiatric illness--people like to think it's just a lifestyle problem--an attitude problem. I'd like to think that too. I don't want anything to do with this crap.

I hope everyone else's advice works for you.

When a relief society president of the church at one general conference cited spiritual deficiency as the cause for depression (addressing the high rate of depression in Utah Mormon women,) she stigmatized anyone listening to that conference that they were deficient because they suffered from the mind crippling illness.

I wanted to shout into the television she was wrong, and that was as a TBM.

I knew she didn't know up from down to turn depression into something it wasn't. How could she therefore be "inspired" as the RS president over the entire church body?

Bottom line: she wasn't. Nor was she qualified to speak on the subject to be helpful to anyone suffering with depression, or their loved ones.

It's so complicated. First off, she's got it completely backward. Beating yourself up is the WORST thing to do.

Some people report that their depression was eliminated by leaving the church. Some never need meds again.

My daughter started talking about suicide at 7 years old. She was supposedly too young to sin. We were active in the church.

I'll bet that lady inspired lots of women to ditch their meds. I don't believe in a God, but if I did I would hope he would hold her responsible for the resulting misery and possible suicides that resulted.

So often, I see that fear causes these terrible ideas. We'd rather feel responsible and powerful than vulnerable and powerless. As in--this can't happen to me because I'll do everything right. It's the opposite of compassion. It's the idea that life is fair and we deserve what we get.

Nope. If that were true, that lady would be miserable, and my daughter would be fine.

I just remembered now that I'm full of coffee. I keep this and refer to it.

Watching it gives me some strength. The horse scenes in "Man from Snowy River" do the same thing. Going to get my hands on some Warren Miller ski movies.


https://www.youtube.com/embed/ThFCg0tBDck

Might sound silly, but it works for me when nothing else does. Antidepressants don't help me. All of you have given great advice here. I hope the OP is still here and benefitting.

I hope you find something that can alleviate all your symptoms,

what ever it is....

Much luck to you and please let us know how you are doing.

Do whatever it takes to get out from under that depression.

He lives and makes music up north in Canada. Heard this song one day as I was driving home from work. It makes you want to dance along to the music - so he named it "The Depression Dance," because it has a soothing effect on whatever might be ailing you.

He describes it thusly on his YouTube page, "A video project in which we had people send us "dancing" videos. They arrived from all over the globe and what joy it was to watch them all. Ottawa Singer/Videographer Jeremy Fisher put them all together and added some other footage I had from various trips I have recently been on."

:)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pR1yTsn664g

I like this one for getting up and moving, or cleaning, which I do once a quarter...

It's one hour of 'can't keep still' !! It's speaker or ear phone YouTube, there's nothing to watch. Also, it's kind of mushy... "This woman is my destiny!"


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hgawnFVM1VA

When I was depressed, it was my experience that the idea of calling doctors, making changes, and going through with any decisions was exhausting and overwhelming. I finally sought help when I had a minor car accident that literally jarred me out of my funk and spurred me into action. Even then, it took a long while before I started feeling better. Fortunately, I had the motivation to keep trying and it eventually worked.

I just want to send a message of empathy, rather than give advice. A lot of well-intentioned advice either doesn't work or isn't applicable. No two situations are alike.

I wish you much luck and hope for feeling better. I don't know how you feel, but I do remember how I felt. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.