Isn't it interesting how much equipment you need to be a regular, active and devout mormon? Kind of weird to think about explaining all of this to people from other cultures outside of America.

Make sure you have all of the following to fall in line with the only true church.

The standard works both actual and digital copies
LDS Hymn book
Accompanying study manuals for R.S. and E.Q.
Your special consecrated oil vial
A CTR ring
Your temple recommend
A subscription to Ensign and other church magazines
Your special and secret suitcase with your Church issued temple garb
Drawers full of your church issued underwear, tops and bottoms
BOM study manuals
12 month survival supplies in the basement
Closets full of your crisp white t-shirts and ties
Copy of the Proclamation framed and on the wall
Multiple Temple pictures on the wall
Christ pictures on the wall

If you want to be a gracious and TBM you've got to stay up on this equipment list. What am i leaving out...surely there is more....

Good list but I think you forgot about the "blinders." Hard to be Mormon without those. :)

Automatic delivery contract from Deseret Book?

Great list!

I'd add, multiple copies BOM to give out when indicated.

And Amway, NuSkin, lots of opioids in the cabinets...

> And Amway, NuSkin, lots of opioids in the cabinets...

You forgot the antidepressants, lots and lots of antidepressants.

Don't forget settlers of catan and other board games for FHE

If you lived in ancient times, add kettlebells.

Tupperware Jello Mold

Resin grapes on your dining room table. (Ok, that is an old one)

Resin grapes rock!

When sneaked of grandma's table and slipped into your sling shot you can..... wait. That uhhhhh never happened.

I want some of those resin grapes! I randomly remembered my grandma having some, and then this comment popped up.

We do have resin grapes on a table in our living room, but we're being ironic.

I didn't see pictures of the first presidency with oaks picture taped over the foreign guy.

Oh my gosh....that’s really funny. Good thing I didn’t have a mouthful of coffee.

At one time, decades ago, I put magazine pictures, in frames, on my hallway wall, showing the super human specimens and heroes of the BofM characters. (How naive can you get?)

Make sure to equip your minivan with BYU license plate frames, an RULDS2? bumper sticker and your stick family in the rear window.

Hilarious. Speaking of bumper stickers, i saw a minivan in my city that had the following phrase on the back window......."If the saviour was beside me, would i do the things i do??"
Talk about shame...who comes up with this shit and 2nd, who would purchase that and put it on their car??? oh ya, some holier than thou TBM.

(How could U forget?!)

Testimony Glove!

Oh and special, hand made white handkerchiefs for the Hosanna Shout when a temple gets dedicated....can't forget that one

And one other thing.
The local ward recipe book with modern day and pioneer recipes

Don't forget ample supplies of the all-but-consecrated DoTerra oils...!

LDS Tie clips...yuck!

Joseph only needed one piece of equipment.

Cell phone....because without it, what somewhat normal member could possibly get through the 3 hour block?

A years supply of church cheerios for both kids and adults.

Store brand, re-loaded into a Cheerios package!

lobotomy

--Add three shelves full of Deseret-pubished books--many written by TBM relatives.
--Malbu Jesus hanging on the wall
--Photo of my polygamous Mormon ancestor, Joseph F. Smith in his long beard, holding my GA relative when he was a child.
--Oil painting of the Salt Lake temple, which I gave away as a gift.

It was so much fun to get rid of all that garbage! It's one of my many favorite "leaving Mormonism" memories. It took me all 3 days of a long weekend, at home, alone. I put on Metallica (my temporary favorite at the time) and shorts and a tank top, and dug into it, like I was wielding a shovel. I made real coffee, for the first time, and tried different kinds, and a variety of added flavorings. I don't think I ate any food at all, for 3 days, and barely slept--I wasn't used to coffee.

After I filled up all our garbage cans and recycle can, I made several trips to the high school's bins. It was so rewarding--and therapeutic!

Yes, the Mormon pioneer recipes were the last to go.

I also got rid of the bad ingredients, like jell-o, yes, and butter, Crisco, margarine, lard (I'm not kidding--lard), bacon drippings, sugar, mini-marshmallows, wheat and gluten (I'm allergic), meat tenderizer, food coloring, and our deep fat fryer.

Yes, it was fun to give my family a complete food makeover. I tried a lot of new ethnic recipes, and we all like like those much better. They have never cried for jell-o.

I lost 25 pounds! I thought I was at normal healthy weight, before, but I have more muscle-mass. We were all more active on Sundays, and rekindled our family's interest in skiing, ice skating, mountain biking, hiking, and mountain climbing.

High heeled shoes
Panty hose
Long skirts
Aprons (for cooking Sunday dinner in my Sunday clothes)
Mormon jumpers
Maternity clothes!

I will certainly show my age for this one. Maybe
Some things will ring that"old" familiar bell.
Who remembers bags of wheat, a wheat grinder,a book of remembrance, all your family history piled high on paper,
BC (before computers), bandelos for girls in primary
With little plastic awards on them for
The last three years when we were Larks, bluebirds,
And Seaguls. 72 hour emergency packs.
The Art of Homemaking by Daryl Hoole. Fancy sleepwear parties
For ladies who wore garments. Flannel boards, quiet books,
A copy of the hymn book. All kinds of complicated kits for
Marking scriptures, scriptures with large print for people
Who were older or visually challenged. Postum, Caflib, Mini World
Had beautiful "appropriate" dresses for little girls
To wear to church

Anti-depressants and frilly fabric scripture carrycases for the sisters.

A lock for the refrigerator door to prevent family members from eating on fast sunday. Yes, my step-father did this.

A Family Home Evening manual to help you bore your family to death during family home evening. Also a "happiness is family home evening" bumper sticker. My family had one on our car in the 70s that my never-mo sister constantly removed, blaming it on random teenagers.

The book, Especially for Mormons, to help you write church talks.

Rat traps to catch the rats that got fat eating the wheat from the food storage in tin cans that eroded easily and were easy to gnaw through.

Piggy bank full of money to help pay for therapy after leaving the Mormon church and trying to adjust to "normal" life.

I forgot about the mormon piggy banks.

Three sections.

One for tithing

One for a mission

The third section was for ones self.

I almost forgot about the Children's Friend magazine and we used
To have a Relief Society magazine every month. Anyone remember
The very popular porcelain Hansen Classics. Book of Mormon stories on video and CDs. We bought all that stuff to fill up
Our lives so we didn't have time to reflect on the things in life
That we were really yearning for: cohesive families
Unconditional love and acceptance, truth, and leaders who for once delivered talks to inspire rather than constant threats
And reminders of what Hadn't been done.

Boob jobs and other plastic surgery.

And all the stuff that goes with any calling you have. It always took up a lot of room in our home. Glad to throw all that stuff out.

fancy sleepwear parties for women who wear garments? Need to know the details of this....was it like those sexy in-home lingerie parties, except for flannel floorlength nightgowns?

LOL you notice I said "fancy" not
"Sexy". No they weren't long and
Flannel however, that being said
Lots of nylon and lace along with regulation sleeves and length
To cover garments. Trust me when I say we could have worn them to
Sunday school and simply looked like we wearing grown up dresses from mini world. I got rid of them after the actual
Wedding in the temple back in the late 60's. As to this day that
Experience felt like a very bad dream. I then eventually got rid
Of everything that reminded me I had ever seen the inside of a Mormon temple

I have been greatly amused by those lists, especially lard (I'm not kidding--lard). *LOL*

I remember many, many years ago a sister getting up in testimony meeting telling how during the depression her family was so poor
She was sent to school with LARD sandwiches. I lived in an area
Where it was a common practice, at least with the sisters in the church, to make pie crust using lard. I also lived in the L.A.
area during the Cuban middle crisis and the stores actually did
Empty and we continually heard how we had been warned that this would happen, And after the emergency was over,People started storing food with a vengeance. They were having workshops
To build dehydrators, storing large containers of powdered milk and soy beans which no one ever ate and some 25 years later when people moved they had to figure out how to dispose of those giant
Canisters. Oh the trips down memory lane

I remember getting married in August 1974 and getting 2 copies of this book:

https://www.amazon.com/You-Your-Marriage-Hugh-Brown/dp/B000H5I0OQ

And we got some lard..not sure how it was packaged;my mother was a good cook but I don't think she ever used lard.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/27/2018 10:38AM by memikeyounot.

There is nothing mormon in my home, except things that connect me to mormon family members, and I'm not going to throw them out. But the mormon home I grew up in had all the above items.

There were also some things absent from the home--parents absent while they did their callings and temple work, absent sufficient clothing an food due to having more children than could be supported, absence of non-church approved reading sources.

A framed “Families Are Forever” print on the wall and a copy of Saturday’s Warrior in the VCR!

What, no DVD???

All the R.S. preparation materials to make the table look pretty: table cloth, statues, vases, fake flowers, bowls, display frame for posters, candies, handouts, etc. All gone now! Yay! (I tried to do a lesson once without that stuff and got seriously rebuked)

Still have years worth of bound Ensign magazines, for referencing, gathering dust and mold in the attic. Spent serious money on those stupid binders. Eager to have a bonfire but the whole house might ignite!

Still stumble across cans of fossilized TANG and Postum in my mother's house. She won't throw them out for fear of being wasteful. She now drinks fresh squeezed o.j. and real coffee.

Two suitcases of temple clothes. Thinking of erecting a scarecrow in front of the house and dressing them in matching male/female temple clothes to scare away the tbm's and missionaries.

Hmmm....nobody's mentioned the minivan and handcart parked in the driveway.

When I was in, temple pictures were prioritized way over Christ pictures.

Don't forget a framed copy of the proclamation to the family.

You'll forgot a few things:

Diapers, baby bottles, and other baby stuff for the infinite number of babies one single couple could produce

Toilet brush (for the endless chapel cleaning assignments)

Mormon tabernacle choir tapes or CDs - after all, what other entertainment are you allowed on Sunday?