Maybe haha. Fuck that was hard sitting next to my father for over fifteen minutes. Installed thousands of security systems across this country and i can barely sit next to my father for fifteen minutes, that's pretty bad. Really don't know what to say to the guy except boosting his ego and get him to talk about himself just to avoid awkward silence. I think practicing on here helped me a shit load. I know how to talk to and deal with guys like my father now, which is not easy.

I am very happy for you becoming your own payee today, Adam.

This is a big step forward and upward (both internally, and also legally), and it means that you are definitely on your way to where you REALLY "ought" to be.

Congratulations!

Tevai Wrote:
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> I am very happy for you becoming your own payee
> today, Adam.
>
> This is a big step forward and upward (both
> internally, and also legally), and it means that
> you are definitely on your way to where you REALLY
> "ought" to be.
>
> Congratulations!

Thanks tevai this was a huge step for me. I was quoting the bible "though i walk through the valley of the shadow of death" before i had to be around my father for my final interview haha. Hard for me to be around that guy for too long for obvious reasons, but i had to be to get this done finally and cut the last cord. I am no longer tied to the guy besides he lives really close to me still which sucks.

I bet he's glad too. It's less responsibility for him.

Yes, when you can manage your personal finances it's a huge step toward independence and autonomy.

What does autonomy mean again? I forgot.

Being your own person.

Gotcha, keep forgetting that one.

What do you mean by "I used the system against him?" Do you mean how he gave you money when you needed it? Which he will probably do again, right.

Dippitydoo Wrote:
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> What do you mean by "I used the system against
> him?" Do you mean how he gave you money when you
> needed it? Which he will probably do again, right.


Or maybe not after he reads this.

I took it to mean that Adam got counseling (through his medical coverage) that has helped him to resolve long-standing issues. Much as other board members have done.

summer Wrote:
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> I took it to mean that Adam got counseling
> (through his medical coverage) that has helped him
> to resolve long-standing issues. Much as other
> board members have done.

I paid into the system for sixteen years so i don't feel guilty. It's really not my fault i have to go to counseling. I didn't attack myself as a kid where it all began. Wish i could cover it all up with meds but i tried that already.

Dippitydoo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> What do you mean by "I used the system against
> him?" Do you mean how he gave you money when you
> needed it? Which he will probably do again, right.

No he only gives money on christmas or a birthday.

Dippitydoo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> What do you mean by "I used the system against
> him?" Do you mean how he gave you money when you
> needed it? Which he will probably do again, right.

The system taught me how to break off from an abusive parent permanently without guilt and not to have fear of him or a religion.

That's wonderful news, Adam.

"Tell me about what your childhood was like" (or what it was like starting out, serving in the military, etc.) are almost always good conversation starters with people of a certain age. People love to talk about themselves.

"Tell me about your childhood?" That doesn't seem like the best conversation starter at least for me. Maybe start out a little softer like "how are you?".

Well, yes. But again, people love to talk about themselves. At a certain point, "Tell me about your neighborhood growing up," (or your friends, your interests, your school, etc.) can keep parents conversing and happy for hours.

summer Wrote:
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> Well, yes. But again, people love to talk about
> themselves. At a certain point, "Tell me about
> your neighborhood growing up," (or your friends,
> your interests, your school, etc.) can keep
> parents conversing and happy for hours.

I usually try to boost my dad's ego by asking what country he visited last. Like that is a real accomplishment or something. He went to hawaii last a few weeks ago. I know how my dad ticks and what to say without pissing him off. No one knows him better than i do.

I think my father respects me a little bit now. I kind of used the system against him to protect me with counseling and then resigning through legal means and finally cut the final cord with social security. Without using the government as a shield for a while i would be screwed.