Note to baura re: God's body

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Posted by: slskipper ( )
Date: July 14, 2018 05:54AM

Since God can do whatever he likes, if he wants a hot fudge sundae any time night or day he can so arrange it, and enjoy it. But note that for Mormons the most important thing about God's body is that he has a penis.

There. I said it.

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: July 14, 2018 08:07AM

Re: Note to baura re: God's body

Is it circumcised?

Seriously, as resurrected male beings, do Elohim and Jehovah have foreskin?

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Posted by: scmd1 ( )
Date: July 14, 2018 10:46AM

Re: Note to baura re: God's body

elderolddog Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Is it circumcised?
>
> Seriously, as resurrected male beings, do Elohim
> and Jehovah have foreskin?

My nutjob grandfather told the grandsons in the family that Elohim never had a foreskin. The rest of us had ours removed in order to be like him.

Please don't flame me. I know how stupid he was.

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Posted by: CrispingPin ( )
Date: July 14, 2018 10:56AM

Re: Note to baura re: God's body

I don't think your grandfather was stupid, that sounds as well reasoned as many of the things that Joseph Fielding Smith and Bruce R. McConkie taught.

I wonder if it would even be possible to circumcise a glorified and perfected foreskin. Maybe with a flaming sword?

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/14/2018 10:57AM by CrispingPin.

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Posted by: dagny ( )
Date: July 14, 2018 10:58AM

Re: Note to baura re: God's body

Hahaha! That's a good one.

Don't feel bad. My mom once told me that the white stringy looking thing in a chicken egg (the chalazae) was the rooster's sperm. That's one hellava rooster.

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Posted by: dagny ( )
Date: July 14, 2018 10:53AM

Re: Note to baura re: God's body

Well of course.

The Mormon view of God and what will happen in an afterlife was "revealed" by a male (JS) in the prime of his reproductive life, driven by (mostly) testosterone to think about sex every 5 minutes. ;-)

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Posted by: Soft Machine ( )
Date: July 14, 2018 12:29PM

Re: Note to baura re: God's body

Ghawd has a great body. You're all just jealous.

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Posted by: Lot's Wife ( )
Date: July 14, 2018 09:47PM

Re: Note to baura re: God's body

Yes, we are jealous of her.

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Posted by: Soft Machine ( )
Date: July 15, 2018 12:51AM

+1 (n/t)

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Posted by: Chicken N. Backpacks ( )
Date: July 14, 2018 01:08PM

Re: Note to baura re: God's body

But can God make a hot fudge sundae SO BIG, and with so much syrup and whipped cream that even HE gets gets a tummy ache?

But it's more fun to ponder if he has a 6, 8 or 10 inch wang....

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Posted by: BYU Boner ( )
Date: July 14, 2018 02:15PM

Re: Note to baura re: God's body

Yes, and being the wanker that I am, I can promise all you godless non-believing atheists that god has a cosmic c*ck-ring with CTR on it. The non-Celestial Boner.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/14/2018 02:15PM by BYU Boner.

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Posted by: babyloncansuckit ( )
Date: July 14, 2018 02:34PM

Re: Note to baura re: God's body

Unless Goddess is a smoking hot babe. Let’s see Joe do some mansplaining.

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Posted by: Soft Machine ( )
Date: July 14, 2018 03:01PM

Choose The Rigid? (n/t)

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: July 14, 2018 02:37PM

Re: Note to baura re: God's body

What if ghawd is a perfectly shaped banana that fits in your ear?

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Posted by: BYU Boner ( )
Date: July 14, 2018 09:39PM

Re: Note to baura re: God's body

The he’d be better than ear pods at whispering the 10 Commandments into your ear

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