So my widowed TBM Mom informed me that my old home ward was finally reassigned sister missionaries after 25 years of elders. Knowing the church policy of elders not being alone with with the opposite sex, I thought that my Mom would be signing up to feed the sisters. Boy was I wrong!

A widowed sister can only sign up if she can commit another married couple to accompany the sister missionaries for dinner. At the top of the sign-in clipboard, it states with asterisks that a Melchizedek priesthood holder must be present for the entire meal/visit.

Now if my older sibling is present with my Mom, then the Elder missionaries can and have enjoyed meals with the Goops.

My TBM Mom isn't concerned about the policy. She's content about other ward members feeding the sisters.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/07/2018 07:43PM by messygoop.

Wow. The sisters can't even eat with another sister?
'Cause there's no penisholder present?

At least they have a signup sheet. No such thing on my mission. A couple of kind branch families, when I was away from Paris, would feed us now and then. Nothing regular. And then in Versailles, which had the biggest ward in the country, and the stake center, and a bishop whose son would go on to be the mission president later...nobody fed us. Ever. These were the (very rare in France) "wealthy members." I think they all assumed we had plenty of money like they did. Mostly an arrogant lot...except one of the bishop's daughters, who I became...um...friends with :)

Two elders can eat with a single man, but two sister mishies can't eat with a single woman...

What's wrong with this equation?

times sure have changed. I just found and read my ex-husband's missionary diary from 1968 Southern States Mission. He and his companion got fed every single night it seemed like. No sign up sheet or anything..seems like they just always had a place to eat and hang out. They also went to baseball games, went bowling, went to the movies and lots of other fun stuff on their diversion day. He also mentioned the numerous times that we talked on the phone (and we did a lot!) Yep, times sure have changed.

The fact that you referred to his 'diversion day' really dates you! Diversion day (D-day) was changed by almighty ghawd in a revelation to the prophet, to Preparation day sometime in the mid-70s. I've tried to pin down the how/why and exactly when this took place, but haven't been able to do so.

It was absolutely already implemented as "P-Day" in January 1979, when I entered the MTC (which had also recently been renamed!)...

ificouldhietokolob Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> It was absolutely already implemented as "P-Day"
> in January 1979, when I entered the MTC (which had
> also recently been renamed!)...


Lolol. I had to attend the LTM in 1978!

I think the jackass who posted that drivel should have to sign up for a minimum of 3 days a week to feed the sisters.

I know that it changed...I guess the powers that be at the COB didn't like the idea of missionaries doing things that were actually a DIVERSION from the slog they had to do all the other days.

Another thing that stuck out to me in his diary was how hard they had to try to make every day "exciting". Most days seemed just downright boring.

What is interesting to me is that after he became an assistant to the mission president, the diary entries stopped. I guess he really did get busy enough traveling the 3 states checking up on the other missionaries, he didn't have time for diary writing.

So......

Not only would a widow be expected to feed two hungry teenage girls. She'd be expected to feed two additional grown adults.

I assume the same would discourage a single mother or older mot yet shackled for eternity sister from contaminating the sister missionaries.

If the rules said that a priesthood holder had to be "present" during the visit, I would tell him that the dinner is for the sister missionaries, and he can please wait in the living room, as I'm sure his wife has dinner waiting for him at home.

But, I enjoy being silly with silly Mormons.

Your mother could bring dinner to the missionaries' house, and drop it off. Or, she could serve them dinner on her front porch. (If they were to ask to use her bathroom, she could direct them to the nearest gas station.)

I've fed missionaries on my porch back in the day, because my husband wasn't home. So so silly.

I fed sister missionaries on my porch as well. I couldn't be in the house while they used the bathroom. I couldn't give them a ride home in the rain.

Those dinners are becoming increasingly sparse then.

Your mom is a wise sage to avoid all that hassle.

So since a widowed sister can't fix a meal for the sister missionaries without penishood" being there, I assume that goes for any widowed, divorced or single sister eating alone with the sis missionaries as well. Geeeez The "control" just gets worst all the time.

So the church wants the members to feed the missionaries by making sure they all have a meal in a members home every day. That's how I remember it being announced in church many years ago (probably around the time the current system of financing missions came in).
In our area there was never any shortage of members willing to do that, we used to do it ourselves and I never saw it as a chore, we were showing some hospitality to these young men and women who were many miles away from home and it was always a pleasant hour or so for all concerned.

Then they started making ridiculous and impractical rules. Tea appointments had to be at an exact time as dictated by the mission, no flexibility to show consideration for the member's time/work schedule etc.
The husband had to be present, even if there were teenage children there or if the sister was old enough to be the missionaries grandmother.
Then the craziest idea of all, there had to be a non member present....

The result is that he missionaries aren't getting tea appointments and the members are once again being berated for not doing what they've been asked to do.

I'm so glad to be out of it all.

and they just can't figure out how to make it work.

They are so concerned about the women being alone without a man. That is so insulting. This just shows how they haven't made any steps towards being more pro women. My aunt told me how at girl's camp they had several priesthood holders there every day. My 80-year-old aunt spent the whole time at camp after having hip surgery with my uncle, who is 87, as one of the priesthood holders (and he's an ass). He ordered me back to church when he found out I had left.

So worried about all these possibilities. They used to be so worried about 2 people of the opposite sex being together, like someone said the sister missionaries having to walk home in the rain, like Deenie the dreaded single had to walk home in the rain or the snow, can't remember. Now the women can't even be alone together.

BUT a bishop can be with a woman alone and men can drive the babysitter home alone. That used to just freak me out as a kid, having the husband drive me home. BUT that was okay. Nobody saw anything wrong with that (all mormons).

The same thing happened to me as a single widdower. I invited the sister missionaries for dinner and was told I would need to invite at least two other adult mixed couples if I wanted to feed them. Per mission president's orders.
My response? Cancel the invite and tell the mission president to feed them!!
I DON'T PLAY STUPID GAMES!!!!

All these rules. I mean, do they want the missionaries fed, or not. Years back we used to feed the missionaries at our home in Maryland. It was very laid back. We'd invite them to dinner, or not invite them. Then they got a new MP, and he stipulated that the missionaries could not go to someone's house for dinner unless that family had lined up someone for the missionaries to teach. Most members find that sort of thing a cheap shot, and they just quit inviting them. At another location, we could only feed them before the evening, when they were supposed to be out teaching, and they could not spend more than 30 minutes there. That meant that the family had to have dinner on at 5 or 5:30, and they had to eat and run. So stupid. There are never any sign-ups whenever some self-important mission president pulls a stunt like that.

"...he stipulated that the missionaries could not go to someone's house for dinner unless that family had lined up someone for the missionaries to teach. Most members find that sort of thing a cheap shot, and they just quit inviting them."

I remember that happening a about 8 years ago in my ward (when I was going.) Yeah, agreed it was a cheap shot.

When I was a missionary around 1990, I HATED going to dinners that people had signed up for in relief society or whatever organization passed around the calendar. In one area it was pretty big and usually meant riding our bikes some gawd-awful distance only to arrive on time and dinner wasn't ready; wait another hour and then by the time we left, it was 8:30pm. I *kinda* wanted to be teaching people, but these dinners every night were a pain.

And it wasn't like I was getting any referrals....these were white folks from the other wards and I was a Spanish-speaking missionary in a branch.

Yeah, that policy of having to give referrals in order to feed the mishies was pretty dumb. However, I understand why the church created that policy. Some mishies were hanging out too long at member's homes instead of working.

Funny story.

One Sunday, a sister in the ward abruptly pulled my elbow to get my attention. Well it indeed got my attention and she was quite exasperated. "I need you elders to come to my house to give the lessons. My friend and her son are ready to be baptized."

I looked down at the ground because I knew that this sister lived outside of my area. Not only was I not supposed to travel outside of my area, but any missionary companionship that goes into another companionship's territory to "poach" baptisms is considered to be a low down polecat. It's very rude.

The sister continued to be agitated. "I thought you guys wanted to baptize people. What's wrong with y'all?"

So I asked her about Elder Green and Boxer.

"I have told them for 3 Sundays in a row. They set up appointments and then fail to show up. I'm furious with them." She continued.

So I gave in. We taught all 6 rainbow lessons; and committed the them to baptism within the week. I got the ZL to interview them, but he freaked out when he wrote down the address. I had to explain why I was going out of my area and into the area of the DL. Next, I had to call the MP and explain why I wasn't following mission rules. In the end, we got pardoned for our misdeeds.

It was later revealed that my DL, Green and Boxer were hanging out a member's home 6 days a week. They had a good thing going by lifting weights, playing video games, shooting pool and swimming in their pool. The member finally called up the MP when the elders "went wild". These two elders tossed the $500 pool furniture inside the swimming pool and left TP in their trees.

That incident and others (dum-dums loitering at the stake president's home all day - sitting under a tree) led to the 45 minute missionary visit.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/13/2018 07:48PM by messygoop.

wouldn't you or any missionary rather hang out at a member's home than go out trying to drum up interest? Mormon missionaries are dealing with saturated sales areas and a failing product. Life was always tough for the poor blighters, but especially tough now.

Wow. Back in my newbie-convert days, I was divorced and found myself with the informal status of "foster-mom" to the mishies. For a time, I gave them the key to my house, and they were welcome to use the phone (limited long-distance time, please!) and welcome to anything they could find in the fridge or the cookie jar. I never knew how many I would come home to on P-day.

We were all poor as church mice, so we would pool our money, get a pizza or two at a local El Cheapo Pizza place, some generic soda, and we watched rented videos. I remember a Maori kid who enjoyed kicking back and watching a video while lying on the carpet. He marveled, "This feels like home. Not like a mission at all!" Another youngster, whom I had met when he was super-green and scared to death about being on a mission, brought his mom to my house at the end of his two years. She was a very sweet lady, who thanked me "for being so nice to Kyle." (I never called them Elder Whatever. It was first-name-only in my house.)

I enjoyed being a Mormon back in those days.

Feeding missionaries has always been a tremendous hassle. Whether it's the Texas Chainsaw Murders to a woman using them as sex slaves.Instead of being the one off weirdness, it becomes the standard to which to defend against.

On the other hand, the standard becomes the singularity to be poo-pooed against. Who else would I trust in a one on one interview with my child but the bishop???